- Fragmaster
- Dec 1, 2000
-
nerdshoe
|
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2UkcZ4LtSE8
I guess I should preface this by saying this isn't a joke especially since I'm posting for like the first time in 10 years or something, but I got the bad news today directly from Rich's family.
Lowtax has passed away.
I didn't ask for details. I don't know details. I don't know what the current opinion of Rich here is. Not here to answer questions, I'm sharing the news. I really hate to share this news. But there you go.
Goonspeed golden manbaby 555s 2 heaven
==admin edit==
If you would like to help, see the GoFundMe thread here.
 THIS IS A VERIFIED GOFUNDME FOR THE KYANKA DAUGHTERS. Reach out to site admins if you have any questions on the validity of the link!
I appreciate this and all the other kind comments like this.
There is a stickied post in GBS called For the Children with a link to the GFM where any money raised will be split between the girls and used for their care, any counseling costs and future education funds. .
https://www.gofundme.com/f/helping-a-friend-in-hiding
I have to say something things that have been overwhelming me from the previous week. I need these things set straight so that we can begin to find some semblance of peace from here on out.
First of all, I want to thank this community for it's incredible generosity since his passing. The gift you have given to his children is something I'll never have enough or the right amount of words to thank you all for in it's entirety. I wish I was better with words.
Rich was not all bad. No one is. We are all multi-dimensional beings and viewing someone in black or white thinking forgets that most peoples pain or the damage they caused is because they themselves were dealing with trauma or family modeling which led them to act out in the ways they did.
There was good in Rich. There was love and there was kindness. There were times when he was an exceptional father. I have spent hours the last week sobbing over the fact that these memories exist and no one will know them except those closest to him who now get to see nothing remembered of him except the negative. I will do my best to help our daughter remember the laughter and the good times.
I am not perfect, I have never been so and I find many, many regrets surfacing remembering our time together. I take responsibility for bringing what I did to light and I deeply regret being vocal at the times I was.
Rich tried to get sober. I need people to know he tried. Before our daughter was born he attempted to attend rehab but ultimately was not successful. His demons and his traumas ran deep and I know that for many years even before I met him that he had been suffering and doing his best to outrun them. He was troubled by childhood trauma and by the addictions and abusive behavior that formed along the way.
Rich was not a monster. He was a deeply flawed man who felt that his creativity had dried up at some point and the pain he suffered from that haunted him. He wanted to do more, contribute more, write more, but he felt lost. He felt overwhelmed and eventually he started to suffer physical pain.
I want to mention that I do believe he was in physical pain when I knew him, after about 2017. I have often wondered if this was a result of the boxing match and then was further made worse from when he fell down a flight of stairs while carrying our infant daughter. As he fell he turned, trying to shield her from his body weight. He slammed the back his head and neck against the wall and was unable to move for 15 minutes, but he refused when I told him I was calling an ambulance.
The photos of him sleeping are the only thing that was staged about the first surgery and I am sorry if I worded that in a way that was unclear. As far as I know he had another surgery to help manage the pain but that was unsuccessful too. In my original post months back, I mentioned that he did not do the physical therapy he had been suggested to do, and felt that contributed to the on going pain.
As far as I know as of now, there is no will nor is there any estate. There were numerous IRS debts, credit card debts and I believe there is no property except housewares.
I've seen rumours that Rich was hiding my immigration papers, which is also untrue. That's not the way immigration works. Without going too into detail, the spouse of the immigrant needs to file the papers to start the process. We went several times to attorneys to get this process started but I was told that it was too expensive for us to do at that time and to just hold tight.
This is why when I acted out in an incident of reactive abuse, I was jailed by ICE for 30 days. The state brought the charges since Rich called the police, but by efforts by him and his mother, I was released instead of deported. I did not do what he claimed, such as knocking him out or hitting him with a frying pan, but I take responsibility for slapping his shoulder, arm and chest in an attempt to leave the room when he was screaming at me Infront of our daughter. It was a moment of weakness and one I'll regret forever. He didn't have to work to have me released, but he did.
I don't know why I'm writing this other than that I need it out there so that people know he was human. He was not an evil villain. Relationships are complex, even ones where there are abusive behavior. There is still so much love in my heart for the man I fell in love with. The man who was funny and kind and creative and who at one point I saw myself with forever. I keep remembering him on moment our daughter was born, sobbing while he held her. He was so proud. He loved his children, even if sometimes he messed up, he loved them.
I speak for all past partners when I say we tried to help him. We tried. Over and over. All we wanted for him was for him to get better for his children. I don't think I recognized much of who he was after I left in late 2019, but I don't think he turned into a heartless ghoul either. I believe he was in a tremendous amount of emotional pain from coming to terms with the decisions in his life that led him to that point.
This is all devastating and we are mourning deeply and painfully and it is only right that something positive to be put out there right now for him.
If you or anyone you know is suffering with mental illness, trauma, suicidal ideation or addiction, please reach out. I know there is a stickied post on GBS with these resources. Please use them.
I'll be logging off for some time now, the things I've said in the past have only lead to adding to a negative picture of him and for that I am deeply sorry.
I appreciate the space to say my piece and thank you again for all you've done for his children.
Edit by 11-NOV-2021 1:40pm est by Pragmatica, 15 Nov by sebmojo.
|
#
¿
Nov 11, 2021 02:43
|
|
- Adbot
-
ADBOT LOVES YOU
|
|
|
#
¿
May 10, 2024 15:03
|
|
#
¿
Nov 11, 2021 02:43
