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Tree Bucket posted:My santa has been super communicative; it’s just international shipping times that's letting us down. We all want to see your stuff! One of the great joys of this thread every year is seeing the sheer amount of generosity, humour and creativity of gifts that goons give and receive!
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Jan 13, 2022 22:58
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Speaking of pictures!  My package from OBGYN Kenobi arrived today. My mom says the essential Christmas gift categories are read/eat/do/wear and I would say this box fulfills everything. It also includes bees, because this is SASS. I think my favorite thing is the shark attack mug. Thank you so much! I laughed the entire time I was going through everything.
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Jan 14, 2022 00:29
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HelloIAmYourHeart posted:Speaking of pictures! I love all these visually overwhelming things, but the thing I'm most curious about is: is that a gummy hotdog?
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Jan 14, 2022 00:43
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Yes, but it's made up of smaller sub-gummies stuck together so it's not actually a gummy weiner.
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Jan 14, 2022 00:51
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HelloIAmYourHeart posted:Yes, but it's made up of smaller sub-gummies stuck together so it's not actually a gummy weiner. Ah. I’d still just eat the whole thing like it’s a real hotdog though.
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Jan 14, 2022 00:55
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For my Santa: still waiting, but we got an e-mail from the post office saying that we got some packages. Gonna go in and see. APO mail always sucks, that's not on you.
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Jan 14, 2022 00:58
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Poo In An Alleyway posted:Ah. I think it might fall apart. If I were in Australia I'd just leave it in the car for a couple hours to make one big gummy.
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Jan 14, 2022 01:23
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Poo In An Alleyway posted:Ah. That was a quite hope of mine that we'd get a Sargent hotdog reenactment.
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Jan 14, 2022 01:43
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HelloIAmYourHeart posted:Speaking of pictures! I love it! I hope you enjoy all the loot, I sure did enjoy getting into the SASSmas spirit. I didn't include an inventory list....I'm pretty sure your surprises arent over yet. Let's see that mug in action.
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Jan 14, 2022 01:46
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Ha! Walrus socks and a little jade cat. edit: my husband looked at the gummy hot dog and declared "hideous, I hate it" lol
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Jan 14, 2022 01:57
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HelloIAmYourHeart posted:edit: my husband looked at the gummy hot dog and declared "hideous, I hate it" lol I solemnly swear, if your husband Sgt Hotdogs that thing, with proof, I will send a second SASSmas box just for him.  With an actual bite though....
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Jan 14, 2022 03:12
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OB-GYN Kenobi posted:I solemnly swear, if your husband Sgt Hotdogs that thing, with proof, I will send a second SASSmas box just for him. But that means he needn't eat it. Just sort of hover it adjacent to the mouth-hole. That picture really gets weirder the longer you look at it... E, missed the one bite provision. Picture remains deeply odd
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Jan 14, 2022 03:14
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My Santa’s first package arrived last week but the second one was stuck in customs for longer and had no delivery date…until this evening when I checked and USPS was like “well we tried today but there was no authorized recipient! Sucks to be you!” So I guess I’ll be heading to the post office tomorrow. What could it be that needs an authorization? 
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Jan 14, 2022 03:20
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Tree Bucket posted:But that means he needn't eat it. Just sort of hover it adjacent to the mouth-hole. Fine, good point. Parameters changed, video eating it required.
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Jan 14, 2022 03:36
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There is zero chance a man who won't post his face anywhere on the internet would let me post a video of him eating a gummy hot dog. Ah well.
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Jan 14, 2022 04:18
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Who said anything about his face, I just want his mouth.
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Jan 14, 2022 05:18
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wear hores mask and/or cool sunglasses
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Jan 14, 2022 10:19
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OB-GYN Kenobi posted:Who said anything about his face, I just want his mouth. Jesus christ this thread.
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Jan 14, 2022 20:23
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The second package from my Santa arrived so it's time for Sassmas Comes To csammis, courtesy of my Finnish Secret Santa Neofelis! The first box was full of lovely individually wrapped presents  Ah yes I did ask for no sweets. Thanks Santa!  The envelope with the card also contained a handful of awesome meme and leftist stickers! And...a DM screen made of pigs??  New teas to try...  ...and a bird mug to drink them from! Inside the mug are. Oh. Ohh no.  Salmiakki. Definitely not sweets. Promise kept!  Here's a cool gnome made of felt who looks hand-made. What's this guy's story?? Also note the bitten-off salmiakki in the background. I just wanted to make sure that that's what it was: a war crime. No wonder this spent so long in Customs!  A Fingerpori book!! Fingerpori, which I learned about from the Something Awful Comic Strip Megathread, is a hilarious comic that relies heavily on Finnish language and visual puns.  A Kong toy for Ember and Jax! That's very nice, they love Kongs. Very much approved-of:    A painting of a flying toaster that matches my tattoo! Awesome!  This box had so much outstanding stuff in it but...wait, what's this now?   A SECOND PACKAGE HAS STRUCK THE SANTEE  Aw, it's a book in Russian like I asked for! It's a collection of Christmas stories...Finnish Christmas stories I think, if Google Translate's to be believed. And one more thing...  Sweet merciful crap. A Moomin book in Russian! This is dope as hell. "Папа и море" is "Papa and the Sea" - I've seen "Moomin and the Sea" in the comic strip but I've never read one of the books let alone in a language I'm just starting to learn. That's unbelievably cool. Neofelis you have made this goon's first Sassmas one to remember with your amazingly thoughtful gifts. Большое спасибо!!
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Jan 14, 2022 20:25
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csammis posted:Neofelis you have made this goon's first Sassmas one to remember with your amazingly thoughtful gifts. Большое спасибо!! Yaaay, glad you liked everything (except salmiakki)! It's an acquired taste, just give it some time. I don't like it myself, either, but that ice-hockey salmiakki (the logos are Finnish ice-hockey teams) is one of the favorites of someone who does. And when you start liking them, you can order them in 5kg boxes! In other news:  Is a pakidge! Somehow it found its way to me despite not having any address or sender as you can see.  I guess the mail elves looked xrayed the box and saw my name there. Good job, elves! Lump O' Coal, because I've been naughty. How did santa know?  But there's also a lot of other stuff! Wrapped things! Stickers – you betcha! Loon eggs! Pancake mixes! Nut goodies! Mont Blanc -flavored KitKats! Taffy Town taffies! A friendship bracelet – now we're best bffs forever! But what lurks inside the wraps?  But before that, a wild Virsu appears!  Books! Grow a Green Crystal science thingie! A tiny cup! Let's zoom in on some of these.  Finally I can leave the house and not die immediately! (This actually looks interesting.)  Another book! With a lot less words so maybe I'll manage to finish reading this in a reasonable time. It came with an ”I froze my nuts off in Minnesota” pen, so maybe I'll even scribble something on the pages.  A tiny cup, very nice looking. It's got plants and animals. Perch, bear, moose, loon, all sorts.  I wonder if my pancakes will be a bit hairy.  I'm a bit worried for this snowman.  Thank you so much, meat glitter! Everything seems fun, useful and/or delicious. PS. Most of the sweets are already gone.
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Jan 14, 2022 23:26
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Gotta say, excited for reSASS, buy I'm genuinely disappointed with or extremely concerned for Santa this year. Whichever is more appropriately accurate.
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Jan 15, 2022 21:36
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J.A.B.C. posted:Yay, everything is intact! Follow up to this, we finally have some winter weather so the socks are coming in handy: https://i.imgur.com/o9v3V9n.mp4
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Jan 16, 2022 18:05
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Pretty sure that for the second year in a row, Santa is in fact dead.
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Jan 17, 2022 17:36
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Infidel Castro posted:Pretty sure that for the second year in a row, Santa is in fact dead. We used to draw and quarter deadbeats. Now there's no danger of simply not sending out anything.
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Jan 17, 2022 17:47
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Droogie posted:We used to draw and quarter deadbeats. Now there's no danger of simply not sending out anything. Deadbeat Santa's aren't going to be saying that when reincarnation time comes around 
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Jan 17, 2022 18:46
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Gummy hot dog update: it is not, in fact, gummy. It is quite rubbery--if you bite into it, it will slowly spring back into its original shape. If you manage it bite through it and chew, you end up with a mouth full of springy gravel. It doesn't melt away like hard candy, you either have to swallow the mass whole or spit it out. It's a very strange material and I'm not sure it's actually edible.
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Jan 17, 2022 19:36
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Lol it's like a keychain or something
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Jan 17, 2022 19:53
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HelloIAmYourHeart posted:Gummy hot dog update: it is not, in fact, gummy. It is quite rubbery--if you bite into it, it will slowly spring back into its original shape. If you manage it bite through it and chew, you end up with a mouth full of springy gravel. It doesn't melt away like hard candy, you either have to swallow the mass whole or spit it out. It's a very strange material and I'm not sure it's actually edible. Well, no shade on your Santa, but that's kinda disappointing. I imagined in my mind that it'd be tasty, if a little bit diabetic-y.
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Jan 17, 2022 20:46
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oh the TASTE is fine, sort of like those peach rings, it's just the texture that's off.
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Jan 18, 2022 00:44
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Soul Dentist posted:Lol it's like a keychain or something I was able to find the thing on Amazon and it is 100% advertised as something you're supposed to be able to eat.
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Jan 18, 2022 00:48
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You made me check on my salmiakki and now it's not even coming until February what hell is this. Instead I bought a bunch of Japanese dagashi, a Mexican chili tamarind candy variety pack, and a Soviet nostalgia candy assortment. Thursday!
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Jan 18, 2022 01:15
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Soul Dentist posted:You made me check on my salmiakki and now it's not even coming until February what hell is this. A reprieve?
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Jan 18, 2022 01:28
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YASSSSS - My Apache attack gunship finally arrived from down under. You have no idea how hard these things are to get hold of here. Temora (Australia) is like almost as far away as you can get from my house (England) while still being on Earth. A quick google reveals it to have both an Aviation Museum and a McDonalds, so I conclude it must be awesome. Excellent detail on the Christmas Card picking up on my Darkplace avatar. Dean Learner is the man I aspire to be:   What's in the boxes? Liquorice spelt wrong:  I've never actually had 'Licorice' coated in milk chocolate before and can confirm I ate the whole thing in about an hour. The coffee beans are still hanging in there but only because a) I'm rationing and b) trying to eat them secretly so no-one remembers I have them. A super cool mug featuring a Dragon hiding unironically under the Silmarillion. Look he hates sporting goods! Turns out Dragons are a bit like Labradors around sneakers:   As well as some excellent postcards and a Temora sticker (going straight on my works laptop to confuse everyone) a really cute book on the Birds of Temora, which my bird obsessed toddler loves to flick through:  Excellent work Tree Bucket, I'm drinking coffee from the mug as I type this. Also the dinosaur train card is inspired and in the Christmas box to go out on my desk again next year. May I visit your aviation museum one day. I leave you with one of many detailed descriptions from the very dry 'Birds of Temora' on the subject of Cockatoos: Cockies are skilled at speaking, raiding bins, ripping anti-pigeon spikes off buildings, and taking exactly one small bite from every piece of fruit in an orchard. Astonishingly, people try to keep them as pets; Cockies inevitably outlive their owners and must be adopted by the next of kin, and will cheerfully take on the poltergeist role and spend the next four decades shredding their new home.
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Jan 18, 2022 09:38
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HelloIAmYourHeart posted:Gummy hot dog update: it is not, in fact, gummy. It is quite rubbery--if you bite into it, it will slowly spring back into its original shape. If you manage it bite through it and chew, you end up with a mouth full of springy gravel. It doesn't melt away like hard candy, you either have to swallow the mass whole or spit it out. It's a very strange material and I'm not sure it's actually edible. You're supposed to eat it like a duck. Tilt your head back and take it all at once. I'm a bad person. I'm genuinely laughing though, thank you for the update. I thought it would at least be somewhat edible, however this result was unexpected and made me laugh so thank you for letting me do so at your expense.
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Jan 18, 2022 16:01
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Every once in a great while, you run across someone who is a drat nice person. While this happens far too infrequently in this community of goony fucks, a notable exception is WindowLiquor. Why yes, postal service worker, Beef of Ages is my given christian name. Why do you ask?  Bees!  The loot! This collection of awesome includes local paraphernalia and accoutrement from WindowLiquor's hometown of Utrecht which, for those of you playing along at home, is in a particularly beautiful area of The Netherlands. She included a bottle opener that will be featured in my recently completed basement bar along with the shot glasses and figurine of the Dom Tower of St. Martin's Cathedral which is lovely. There are various candies and related victuals (including cheese and motherfucking stroopwaffles!!), a neat set of puzzles, and two cat toys for our cuddly murder machines. My wife and I deeply appreciate the diabetes.  Molly remains unsure about any of my poo poo. She's a rescue that has been with us for four months and allowing me to get that close to her on the stairs is major progress. This toy appears forlorn and abandoned but rest assured that its demise has been plotted and scheduled in accordance with Cat Murder policy no. 692.  Miller, on the other hand, told Cat Murder policy no. 692 and the entire plotting empire to go gently caress themselves and got after it. Much death. Many joy. Despite the delays introduced by the vagaries of international shipping, SASSmas was awesome and I appreciate tiaz for organizing and WindowLiquor for making it awesome. Now to wait for my santee to receive their package which is still in transit. Only then will my deep insanity be revealed. Happy SASSMAS! Beef Of Ages fucked around with this message at 21:00 on Jan 18, 2022 |
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Jan 18, 2022 20:57
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Beef Of Ages posted:Every once in a great while, you run across someone who is a drat nice person. While this happens far too infrequently in this community of goony fucks, a notable exception is WindowLiquor. Aww that's so nice of you to say! I'm glad you like it. I was so nervous they might take the cheese, which would've been sad as I tried my best to find something fitting to pair with the having of booze in your basement bar. This is what SASS is all about for me, making others happy!
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Jan 18, 2022 21:13
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Dear santa, the last package arrived after apparently getting into a fistfight with the usps delivery guy! Everythings intact though and all the BA Johnston merch made is safe  Ive already gotten several compliments on the sweater, thank you!
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Jan 18, 2022 21:19
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It would be nice of the Finnish customs to tell what's wrong on the form I sent them, instead of saying "The given info is wrong, customs declaration denied."  Especially when I resubmitted the same info, this time making sure to put everything just like in the examples they give, and it was approved almost instantly. Anyway, my gift is almost here! SASSmas joy! 
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Jan 18, 2022 22:05
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RepeatingMeme posted:Dear santa, the last package arrived after apparently getting into a fistfight with the usps delivery guy! Everythings intact though and all the BA Johnston merch made is safe I'm so glad to hear it made the trek (semi)safely! Please post BA merch pics if you can! TO MY SANTA: My partner has notified me that I have a mysterious package, so I hope to update with some pictures later tonight!
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Jan 18, 2022 22:18
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JointHorse posted:Anyway, my gift is almost here! SASSmas joy! Hey, do you still have that lumberjack safety hat I made you ages ago? I thought of it the other day when I found the rest of that reflective thread.
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Jan 19, 2022 02:44
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