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signalnoise
Mar 7, 2008

i was told my old av was distracting
I have made silent forks. The fork does not scream when my wife uses the fork. With other forks, my wife goes eat and she uses the fork and the fork screams at me. Knife is okay, spoon is okay, only the fork screams, but this fork can keep the baby asleep, and I don't have the problem with my ear when she cuts steak that is too tough because this fork does not make the scream noise.

Please buy my forks and enjoy less screaming at your dinnertime

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Icochet
Mar 18, 2008

I have a very small TV. Don't make fun of it! Please don't shame it like that~

Grimey Drawer
Eat this medicine and BANG!: carbon-neutral penis

tractor man
Nov 11, 2021

Brazilian butt lift in pill form

The Voice of Labor
Apr 8, 2020
Probation
Can't post for 24 hours!
many chemicals ultra power fan turns on FAN TURNS ON

FAN

TURNS

ON

face so beautiful kittens so fluffy sparkling delight juice

no stains

ever again

Mellow_
Sep 13, 2010

:frog:
ahemm:





drain odorant

have sterile, clean drains?

gently caress that, add a smell!

Zybourne Clock
Oct 25, 2011

Poke me.
AMUSING DUCK

toys series with strong sense for playing

ACTION

MUSIC

LIGHT

BUMP 'N GO ACTION

LAY EGG IS TRUE!!!

ClamdestineBoyster
Aug 15, 2015
Probation
Can't post for 10 years!
Freemasonry but you don’t keep the prostitutes and just suck angry dick instead. :shuckyes:

Big Beef City
Aug 15, 2013

Triple Action Cat Guard

Sometimes Cat comes and goes. Now it's THRICE guarded with Triple Action Cat Guard!
Keep it or don't whenever you need it best. Here comes the CAT!

ClamdestineBoyster
Aug 15, 2015
Probation
Can't post for 10 years!
The “I know what that word means!” App, where you type in the new word you discovered the meaning of and it cross-references you with other people who think they’re special because they know the meaning of a word so you don’t make embarrassing erroneous posts on the internet thinking you know anything about anything because you learned what a new word means and suddenly your Sherlock Holmes rear end has poo poo all figured out. Save the whole, “guys guys, I learned what this word means today and this thing is that thing and so is this and so is everything I didn’t know about, it’s all actually this word and it all makes sense because I didn’t know the meaning of this word yesterday and now I do. Almost everything I couldn’t define before is this word actually and I actually know things other people don’t know now” but then the app checks the knowledge base and tells you that you have the foggiest of what you’re on about and literally everyone around you can tell you know nothing on the subject and are in fact a compulsive pathological liar that literally just makes poo poo up and tries to sell their point to everyone around them. This app prevents that. :hai:

ClamdestineBoyster fucked around with this message at 12:42 on Nov 21, 2021

Icochet
Mar 18, 2008

I have a very small TV. Don't make fun of it! Please don't shame it like that~

Grimey Drawer
Skinhead!
by Ravensburger
ages 4-99

"I can't believe it"
-The Guardian

The Walrus
Jul 9, 2002

by Fluffdaddy
i think bob odenkirk had a similar problem with pans in that one mr show sketch

Hammerite
Mar 9, 2007

And you don't remember what I said here, either, but it was pompous and stupid.
Jade Ear Joe
Whence you see how stanning the finnish is, you all be unable to stop squitting on all the surfaces in your hose

Frosh Pelish. At all god supermarkets and dry cloning outlets. Sex nintey-nine

Big Beef City
Aug 15, 2013

12oz of couch gel will get your couch back up to speed in almost no time!
Just insert 12oz couch gel into the dispenser and your couch will get right as rain!
12oz couch gel, you'll find it.

Ziv Zulander
Mar 24, 2017

ZZ for short


Tired of canoodling the hard way? Want your canoodles to come to you, instead of the other way around? Try our new canoodle-a-fix. Keeps all your canoodles in one convenient spot for all your future reference.

Try it and love it, that’s out caguaranoodle

Ziv Zulander
Mar 24, 2017

ZZ for short


itt we write new jokes for rick and morty

Smugworth
Apr 18, 2003
Probation
Can't post for 3 hours!
Milking harness
It's a harness a gentleman dons when he is prepared to be milked

Applewhite
Aug 16, 2014

by vyelkin
Nap Ghost
Tea Time!

Time for tea! Don't waste time on tea for two, tea for three! Tea for twenty!

Blaze it.

titty_baby_
Nov 11, 2015
Probation
Can't post for 4 hours!
Its art ownership, on the blockchain

Big Beef City
Aug 15, 2013

Fulton's Own Pen Dispenser.
Have you ever needed a pen only to find there were none left on Earth?
Well now you can provide customers pens at any time of the day or day.
At only 6000lbs and permanently anchored in one secret location, Fulton's Own Pen Dispenser allows you to lease a wonderful opportunity to dispense pens nearly whenever needed.

Big Beef City
Aug 15, 2013

Stuck on pork always causing you and your family nightmares you can't escape from?
Pork wedged?
Pork caught in an unseemly situation in an alleyway in France?
Well worry no more. Because now there's pork bearings.
An insightful new product to ensure your pork is on the go.
Pork bearings are 100% not natural to ensure that your pork never stops. Find them at all comic book conventions, naturally!

the holy poopacy
May 16, 2009

hey! check this out
Fun Shoe
Cat won't eat? Lazy cat! Turn your no-eat cat into a do-eat cat with Eat Cat. Eats through the most stubborn clogs, the dirtiest plates. No sink is safe from Eat Cat.

Mooey Cow
Jan 27, 2018

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
Pillbug
You always go to bed at night but wake up even sleepier than before? No more! This bed so good you wake up dead!

sure okay
Apr 7, 2006





Pizza scraper. When you gotta scrape a pizza.

Pizza on the walls? pizza on the floor? Scrape it!

HD DAD
Jan 13, 2010

Generic white guy.

Toilet Rascal
Do you feel sad? Well so do I!

Money.

Blurry Gray Thing
Jun 3, 2009
Are you tired of this?

("There's got to be a better way!")
_____________________________/


Order your Toilet++ today.

ikanreed
Sep 25, 2009

I honestly I have no idea who cannibal[SIC] is and I do not know why I should know.

syq dude, just syq!
Like car. Much like car. Better. Want more. See?

Smugworth
Apr 18, 2003
Probation
Can't post for 3 hours!

Blurry Gray Thing posted:

Are you tired of this?

("There's got to be a better way!")
_____________________________/


Order your Toilet++ today.

Toilet+++

Who What Now
Sep 10, 2006

by Azathoth
This burger keeps your hot parts hot and your cool parts cool. Hot! Hot! Cool! Cool!

ClamdestineBoyster
Aug 15, 2015
Probation
Can't post for 10 years!
Clam sausages! :backtowork:

FilthyImp
Sep 30, 2002

Anime Deviant
Ok yeah so, like .. you... it's like you know BREAD, right? So this is... kinda like if... well think about bread but without the bread part

Vakal
May 11, 2008
Reverse Sunglasses so you can see at night.

Vakal
May 11, 2008

FilthyImp posted:

Ok yeah so, like .. you... it's like you know BREAD, right? So this is... kinda like if... well think about bread but without the bread part

https://vimeo.com/94058349

ScRoTo TuRbOtUrD
Jan 21, 2007

Icochet posted:

Eat this medicine and BANG!: carbon-neutral penis

Harvey Mantaco
Mar 6, 2007

Someone please help me find my keys =(
Cream to cure scars on my chest from the cat when someone rings the doorbell while he's napping on me

Big Beef City
Aug 15, 2013

Ever wanted to have mashed potatoes but just had too much time on your hands?
Now we have it.
Please don't look.
Soon you'll have them and it too!
Lip balm? Toiletries? Of course we did!
Full life insurance!
Call them now!

The Walrus
Jul 9, 2002

by Fluffdaddy
try Mystery Accountant today

only 20.99

ScRoTo TuRbOtUrD
Jan 21, 2007

Paging puzzle vagina

Blurry Gray Thing
Jun 3, 2009
A sexy facemask. Stay safe, stay healthy, even when it is time for intimate bedroom dealings.

Loden Taylor
Aug 11, 2003

All my life the bone men have hunted me. Finally I have designed the parts that will keep them away. I cannot make them on my own, I need you to pay me. If you pay me, I can make them for you as well. Please, I can run no longer.

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Nyan Bread
Mar 17, 2006

Hard to grab from where you are? No don't get up, keep sitting. Its long spool and even stronger line can reach anywhere or across the room, or even to the next room if the door is open. For example your favorite appliance remote that is not close and you need it or want it in your hand in just a short time? Raise the Get-Good-Good-Getter and throw and if you connect pull! The only following step is never experiencing difficulty. Feel its mono-attachment that is good, great for things like cups and even that is always ready to retrieve things from places with no more sadness of jumping. Use the Get-Good-Good-Getter for when you're relaxing hard and not doing it just won't do like our slogan "Get Good to Get Good" so congratulations.

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