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Hey everyone, I'd like to introduce you to my new best friend: Donald Trump, Jr!
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Nov 28, 2021 07:08
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| # ¿ May 17, 2024 22:15 |
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I've decided that I'm no longer going to be held hostage by my lactose intolerance. To celebrate, I've been drinking egg nog all day long.
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Nov 28, 2021 08:09
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Hey everyone, I've decided that we're going to have an international Christmas experience this year. We'll be calling Santa Claus Saint Nicholas, and he brought along a couple of friends: Krampus and Zwarte Piet! I'm gonna go put on the makeup for Zwarte Piet right now!
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Nov 28, 2021 22:27
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For today's Christmas celebration, I've decided to do things a little differently. Each of you have deeply offended me over the years, and I have decided to exact my revenge. Did you like the egg nog? The mulled cider? The water? I've laced each with a deadly toxin that will cause you to hallucinate as you slowly die over the next few hours. The first symptom is paralysis, and I think Aunt Mable is demonstrating that at this moment. You really thought you could get away with always buying me socks and rawhide leather wallets for Christmas while I spent dozens of dollars for you on Hallmark ornaments? Oh, ho, ho, no. And now I leave you to die, slowly slipping from this world into the next with the music of Rebecca Black's Friday sending you off on your journey...
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Nov 29, 2021 00:15
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Oh, come on, Sheila! Your kid knows that Dan isn't his father! Just look at them!
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Nov 29, 2021 02:47
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So here is a list of the Warhammer tabletop figurines I'd like you to buy me. Please do not buy me Warmachine tabletop figures. They are not the same.
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Nov 29, 2021 03:01
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I hope you don't mind, but I'm going to be running my camming gig during our Christmas celebration. When you are #43 on the Top Anal Insertion List, you can't afford to take a break. Mind if I borrow your kid's baseball trophy?
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Nov 29, 2021 03:09
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Hey everyone, have you ever heard of this podcast called "The Joe Rogan Experience?" Like, it's this really cool podcast where a bunch of guys just talk about current events, things comedians do, health tips, and goofy things on the Internet. I've set up the house so that it plays the entire day and we can just drop in whenever. Looks like the first guest coming up is Alex Jones and followed by Gavin McInnes. Wonder what those guys are gonna talk about...
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Nov 29, 2021 08:44
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If it's all right with everyone, I'd like to make a toast. First of all, I'd like to thank everyone for inviting me to be here this Christmas day. I know we've had our differences over the last few years. I've said some things I regret, and I'm sure you have as well. I won't go into it other than to say it's in the past, and I'm glad to see you got over it. Now to my main point. I want to talk about the reason for the season, the man responsible for bringing us together on this special day. He' sacrificed everything to save each and every one of us. He's the reason we say Merry Christmas. He's who we should be grateful to, grateful for, and faithful in. I'm talking, of course, about Donald Trump, and this Christmas I've made a donation to his new Super PAC---Make America Great Again Again!---in your names, and I've provided them your email address and phone numb- Wait, where is everybody going? Don't you dare throw me out of this house again, you liberal cucks! I don't want to spend Christmas alone!!!
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Dec 9, 2021 16:59
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| # ¿ May 17, 2024 22:15 |
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Yaldabaoth posted:Then there's the opposite situation where the one liberal family member gets kicked out of the house for not wanting to burn an effigy of Biden. That sounds like they were saved from a ruined Christmas
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Dec 10, 2021 16:38
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