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Hi my name's Robert and I am the toughest mfer in Gladewell Pines.
Oh, you leave your garbage and recycling out the night before collection? That's cool. Me? I do it the morning of. What can I say, I like the rush...
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Dec 18, 2021 18:05
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- Adbot
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ADBOT LOVES YOU
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May 7, 2024 12:10
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*walks around the edge of the cul de sac slowly. At the exit, pauses and crosses the street to do another lap. The neighbours are considering calling the police*
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Dec 18, 2021 18:06
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shuffling rabidly through the junk drawers for a measuring tape. You are pretty sure that Robert next door has extended his criss-cross front lawn mowing pattern upwards of 2 inches beyond the property line onto your yard. Even if it is true, this is more for your own personal records. You wouldn't dare step to Robert...
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Dec 18, 2021 18:08
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Sigh, that's Robert. Yeah, some mornings he just makes out with the chrome on his car's engine for hours, pausing only to wipe away the saliva with old holey underwear. Last year, Reece tried to hint that it was making everyone uncomfortable, but he just told Reece that Reece's wife makes everyone uncomfortable too and yet she's still here.
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Dec 18, 2021 18:14
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Rumour is that he calls the gate security guards, "Chief" and let's them call him, "Bobby"...
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Dec 18, 2021 18:16
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- Viginti Septem
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Oculus Noctuae
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Kacie and I love walking around suburban neighborhoods and checking out the faces of dog owners. There's always a moment where their face is like, "Wait a minute, that bird isn't leashed." And owner and dog both look at each other with this weird sadness like they're doing animal friendships all wrong. Classic suburbanites.
https://i.imgur.com/9jTkSUL.mp4
Thanks to vanisher for the paradise sig! 
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Dec 18, 2021 18:16
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Everyone morning I am tortured by the ten gallon stetson on display in the walk-in closet. Robert wore one for a week two years ago and it sparked something in me. But then he stopped and I simply cannot dare to revisit the phenomenon alone. Yet I, too, cannot bring myself to move it out of sight. This must be what a dialectic is.
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Dec 18, 2021 18:18
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Yeah hunny, that's him. Robert. With the stain repellent salmon button-up, chinos, birks and *shivers* ...the corner unit.
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Dec 18, 2021 18:19
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- nut
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I paint my door mustard yellow. The pleasurable shaking of the neighbours rattles the panes. When I'm at work, they take turns taking selfies in front of it, in yoga poses or with peace signs.
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Dec 18, 2021 18:27
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yeah babe. yeah. huh? no. no he's not a biker. but you see the slatted wood siding on that house? Hells Angles. written all over it
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Dec 18, 2021 18:30
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SHIPLAPZ tatt'd across his knux. Yes, they are temporary.
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Dec 18, 2021 18:30
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- google THIS
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drat, was that DoorDash driver carrying a Red Lobster bag? Told you he was loaded.
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Dec 18, 2021 19:30
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- Dads Dip Cup
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"here he comes. act natural"
"oh god. um, h-howdy neighbor! beautiful weather for walking the dog this morning!"
*Robert waves as he passes, walking what is clearly a cat on a leash*
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Dec 18, 2021 22:41
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- Sherbert Hoover
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Working hard, thank you!
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saw a 9 year old playing in her front yard and I didnt call the cops. I don't give a freak
this sig is protected by Simsmagic!
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Dec 19, 2021 20:56
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- google THIS
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It is commonly known that the south face of Robert's fence is six feet and a quarter inch tall but the HOA would never dare call him out on it
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Dec 19, 2021 21:10
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- How Wonderful!
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I only have excellent ideas
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Heeeey Rob, just swinging by to catch up real quick... real nice Halloween display, love the funny novelty graves, ha, very fun... um... so I did just want to mention that Kayley, you know, our oldest-- you might remember she was dressed up as a broccoli stalk-- well, she says you were giving out switchblades to the youngsters? Well first of all, um, that's... that's extremely generous, but um.... b-but.... well, well I just wanted to say thank you for the generosity and b-by the way I am very impressed with the cool switchblade moves you're doing right now. H-have a good one, Ro.... Mr. Robert. I'll j.. I'll just be going now. Yeah of course I can leave my coffee. D-don't mention it. It's all yours. Thank you. Sorry.
-sig by Manifisto! goblin by Khanstant! News and possum by deep dish peat moss!
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Dec 20, 2021 06:30
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- Escape From Noise
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Hitting the weight bench in the garage with the door up, when I see Robert cruising by. I reflexively go for the door remote, but in my haste don't secure the barbell and before I can turn over it falls onto my chest, restricting my breathing. The last thing I hear before I pass out is Robert scoffing and calling out that somebody better call an ambulance "for this freakin' nerd".
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Dec 20, 2021 07:28
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- google THIS
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Robert gets his hair cut exclusively at THE MEN'Z KAVE
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Dec 20, 2021 17:31
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- nut
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Dammit the dog fell in Robert's moat again-- he's going to reek of Monster energy all day!
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Dec 20, 2021 20:23
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- Twenty Four
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Heeeey Rob, just swinging by to catch up real quick... real nice Halloween display, love the funny novelty graves, ha, very fun... um... so I did just want to mention that Kayley, you know, our oldest-- you might remember she was dressed up as a broccoli stalk-- well, she says you were giving out switchblades to the youngsters? Well first of all, um, that's... that's extremely generous, but um.... b-but.... well, well I just wanted to say thank you for the generosity and b-by the way I am very impressed with the cool switchblade moves you're doing right now. H-have a good one, Ro.... Mr. Robert. I'll j.. I'll just be going now. Yeah of course I can leave my coffee. D-don't mention it. It's all yours. Thank you. Sorry.
Robert making a power move, having the names of all his neighbors on his novelty gravestone Halloween decorations, complete with specific individual "died on" dates set in the future.
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Dec 21, 2021 01:58
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- Escape From Noise
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Dammit the dog fell in Robert's moat again-- he's going to reek of Monster energy all day!
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Dec 21, 2021 02:19
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- nut
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Robert doesn’t even wave when the cops cruise by on their biannual trip to Gladewell Pines
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Dec 21, 2021 06:12
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- Escape From Noise
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Last night I went out in my back yard to get something out of the shed when I heard something. I looked over and there was Robert, sliding a leftover P'Zone into my pizza oven. I guess he'd already fired it up. I just noddee at him nervously and told him "enjoy". He grunted something without looking up from the P'Zone.
I guess that explains the missing wood at least.
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Dec 22, 2021 07:49
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- nut
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well hunny, if you feel that way, YOU can tell him to get a pool cover. I will of course silently support you from the living room front window.
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Dec 23, 2021 13:52
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- Adbot
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ADBOT LOVES YOU
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May 7, 2024 12:10
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- google THIS
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Robert calls in to work. "Sorry Mr. Furukawa, I'm going to be a little late this morning, there's another dad from my son's school I have to beat up. I know, again, right? You'll have to work on the next top secret Smash Bros. game without me for a while."
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Dec 23, 2021 14:24
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Dec 18, 2021 18:05
