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drat, was that DoorDash driver carrying a Red Lobster bag? Told you he was loaded.

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It is commonly known that the south face of Robert's fence is six feet and a quarter inch tall but the HOA would never dare call him out on it

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Robert gets his hair cut exclusively at THE MEN'Z KAVE

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Robert calls in to work. "Sorry Mr. Furukawa, I'm going to be a little late this morning, there's another dad from my son's school I have to beat up. I know, again, right? You'll have to work on the next top secret Smash Bros. game without me for a while."

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