How do you milk an oat?

The Something Awful Forums > Main > BYOB: BYOB BYOB BOYB BBOY YOBB YBOB BBYO?? > How do you milk an oat?

«‹›2 »

Escape From Noise

I can't find the teets!

# ? Dec 30, 2021 16:26

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? Apr 28, 2024 22:54

Kaiser Schnitzel: Schnitzel mit uns

It�s pretty hosed up really because milking an oat requires the violent destruction of its body by squishing it between steel rollers

https://i.imgur.com/R8ctked.mp4
ty Manifisto for this wonderful sig!

# ? Dec 30, 2021 16:30

Kaiser Schnitzel: Schnitzel mit uns

It�s not so much oat milk as it is pur�ed oat blood, guts, bones, and skin

https://i.imgur.com/R8ctked.mp4
ty Manifisto for this wonderful sig!

# ? Dec 30, 2021 16:31

poverty goat

Kaiser Schnitzel posted:

It�s not so much oat milk as it is pur�ed oat blood, guts, bones, and skin

wow this is so much worse than milking a cow

# ? Dec 30, 2021 16:47

free Trapt CD: *~~*
I've got plenty of java
and Chesterfield Kings
*~~*

A lot of people are surprised by the above but it's all true. The only nonviolent, ethical milk alternative is nut milk, which as we all know is squeezed directly from the nut tit.

# ? Dec 30, 2021 16:48

Escape From Noise

poverty goat posted:

wow this is so much worse than milking a cow

What about a goat?

Thank you Pot Smoke Pheonnix for this Kickin' Rad sig

# ? Dec 30, 2021 17:02

idiotsavant

Veeeeeeeeeery carefully, op

# ? Dec 30, 2021 17:29

Dumb Sex-Parrot

free Trapt CD posted:

A lot of people are surprised by the above but it's all true. The only nonviolent, ethical milk alternative is nut milk, which as we all know is squeezed directly from the nut tit.

wait, what? i thought it came out the nut hatch.

thank you Saoshyantx4, Plant MONSTER. and deep dish peat moss for the excellent signature

# ? Dec 30, 2021 17:50

Dr. Honked: eat it you slaaaaaaag

to learn more about nut milk, i refer you to the popular music song "nut hatch titty limits" by Tina Turner

^{thanks deep dish pete moss and Plant MONSTER}

# ? Dec 30, 2021 18:22

PHIZ KALIFA: #mood

HONKIN on some TIDDERS

crimes

# ? Dec 30, 2021 18:48

Dr. Honked: eat it you slaaaaaaag

PHIZ KALIFA posted:

HONKIN on some TIDDERS

^{thanks deep dish pete moss and Plant MONSTER}

# ? Dec 30, 2021 18:53

Farecoal: There he go

idiotsavant posted:

Veeeeeeeeeery carefully, op

# ? Dec 30, 2021 19:00

PHIZ KALIFA: #mood

me motorboating a pair of Big Vegan Naturals: aw yeah baby it's not weird to use nutritive yeast as a condiment, thats not deeply depressing in the LEAST

crimes

# ? Dec 30, 2021 19:01

PHIZ KALIFA: #mood

Vegan Colostrum (tofu mashed into natto, squeezed out of an unglazed unfired earthenware "Gaia Funnel" from BadassDoulaSupply Dot Com

crimes

# ? Dec 30, 2021 19:03

PHIZ KALIFA: #mood

taking my baby to the new hampshire ayahuasca retreat because he keeps spitting up his fire cider and kombucha Reversed Enema Gullet Cleansers

crimes

# ? Dec 30, 2021 19:04

PHIZ KALIFA: #mood

me, a four foot seven psycho white girl whose straight platnum blonde hair emerges out of the back of my skull pre-loc'd like some kind of patchouli-stinking Alien Queen: elon musk was my boyfriend

crimes

# ? Dec 30, 2021 19:06

PHIZ KALIFA: #mood

adding a sprinkle of synthetic CBD onto my (moldy, from a basement grow op) mids like a looney toons alleycat seasoning a fishbone

crimes

# ? Dec 30, 2021 19:07

PHIZ KALIFA: #mood

locking the oat in a cock cage and forcing it to watch three hours of vegan sissy hypno before pegging it's oaty butthole and collecting the sticky leavings ina Carton

crimes

# ? Dec 30, 2021 20:06

Farecoal: There he go

# ? Dec 30, 2021 20:31

google THIS

"Sowing your wild oats" just took on a very sinister undertone

# ? Dec 30, 2021 20:38

Dr. Honked: eat it you slaaaaaaag

Nut pee is stored in the nut balls

^{thanks deep dish pete moss and Plant MONSTER}

# ? Dec 30, 2021 21:50

Buttchocks: No, I like my hat, thanks.

*rushes excitedly into the thread* ...Oh, I thought you said 'oaf'. Nevermind. Sigh.

# ? Dec 31, 2021 04:09

How Wonderful!: I only have excellent ideas

In seventh grade health class they separated the boys and girls into different rooms and rumor has it that the boys got taught by Coach Brenley how to milk an oat, step by step, with real photos of the oats. All we got was a five minute lesson from the art teacher about how to change an oat's diaper and why it's NEVER worth it and then she put on the middle thirty minutes of Fern Gully.

-sig by Manifisto! goblin by Khanstant! News and possum by deep dish peat moss!

# ? Dec 31, 2021 10:57

How Wonderful!: I only have excellent ideas

Me, putting a condom on a single couscous in the proper, safe way. You, a huge skank if rumors are to be believed, using tricks and methods to apply the condom-- just lots of showmanship and mindgames, smdh

-sig by Manifisto! goblin by Khanstant! News and possum by deep dish peat moss!

# ? Dec 31, 2021 10:59

How Wonderful!: I only have excellent ideas

Do you remember the first book you read with an oat in it? Like... where they drank its milk or even ate the oat? For me it was some random Madeleine l"Engle book. I guess because I'd read the Wrinkle in Time books my parents thought it was ok for me to read the rest of them at the library... oh boy, were they eye-opening. In one of them the protagonist even goes to Trader Joe's and samples oat milk, almond milk, soy milk... even vegan egg nog. Needless to say I renewed it twice and passed it around to all my friends, with the part where they make vegan oatmeal cookies triple dog-eared.

-sig by Manifisto! goblin by Khanstant! News and possum by deep dish peat moss!

# ? Dec 31, 2021 11:04

Robot Made of Meat

Related topic: Is it possible to milk a single magnesium?

Thanks to Manifisto for the sig!

# ? Dec 31, 2021 14:36

Buttchocks: No, I like my hat, thanks.

The vaccine for oatpox was discovered because oat milkers contracted a milder version of it.

# ? Dec 31, 2021 15:06

Dr. Honked: eat it you slaaaaaaag

Robot Made of Meat posted:

Related topic: Is it possible to milk a single magnesium?

existence of Big Magnesium Milkers implied

^{thanks deep dish pete moss and Plant MONSTER}

# ? Dec 31, 2021 15:53

cruft

Oat milk is totally normal by this point, nobody thinks twice about it. But just try milking a barley and suddenly the whole drat town is full of cereal rights activists!

# ? Dec 31, 2021 16:39

nesamdoom: nesaM killed Masen

PHIZ KALIFA posted:

locking the oat in a cock cage and forcing it to watch three hours of vegan sissy hypno before pegging it's oaty butthole and collecting the sticky leavings ina Carton

This triggered my Fap-or-Flee response.

https://i.imgur.com/1qBoiAi.mp4

# ? Dec 31, 2021 16:49

Buttchocks: No, I like my hat, thanks.

cruft posted:

Oat milk is totally normal by this point, nobody thinks twice about it. But just try milking a barley and suddenly the whole drat town is full of cereal rights activists!

Don't cry over spelt milk.

# ? Dec 31, 2021 18:54

google THIS

Willy Wonka: Everything in this room is milkable! Even I'm milkable!

# ? Dec 31, 2021 19:03

deep dish peat moss

you have to brush it along the grain

# ? Jan 1, 2022 00:20

Scaly Haylie

Kaiser Schnitzel posted:

It�s pretty hosed up really because milking an oat requires the violent destruction of its body by squishing it between steel rollers

titty juicero

# ? Jan 1, 2022 02:50

Finger Prince

PHIZ KALIFA posted:

locking the oat in a cock cage and forcing it to watch three hours of vegan sissy hypno before pegging it's oaty butthole and collecting the sticky leavings ina Carton

# ? Jan 1, 2022 03:08

Bodyholes

cruft posted:

Oat milk is totally normal by this point, nobody thinks twice about it. But just try milking a barley and suddenly the whole drat town is full of cereal rights activists!

i'm a bad enough dude to milk a hop

# ? Jan 1, 2022 03:10

I HAVE GOUT

When provided nutrient-rich soil, proper hydration, and adequate sunlight, a single free-range oat can provide up to 10 gallons of milk per month! Which is why so many people have started hydroponic oat farms in their own garage!

# ? Jan 1, 2022 03:22