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The Covid pandemic messed up movies so bad in 2020 that even the new Greenlit thread was delayed a whole year. As we head towards two full years of The Plague Years, the box office is still a gigantic mess, experiments with streaming means some movies get dumped their while others have hybrid releases, films get release dates pushed back so often they are more like suggestions, and Spider-Man teaches that great power brings great box office returns. What this means for us is 2022 gets a brand new Greenlit thread! Unlike other OPs, it isn't so simple to just list a bunch of movies that either did horribly at the box office or did far beyond what they should have. Everything is topsy-turvy. So instead this is more of a collection of two years of weirdness, probable failures, and just plain shrugs. 2020 was such a weird year at the box office that Dolittle landed in a respectable #7 place in the US box office. It's also one of the last movies I saw in a theater. Plenty of films saw alternate distribution through streaming services, as the various media conglomerants ramped up their streaming wars in an effort to get you to pay more for a few streaming channels than you do for cable. With millions of Americans out of work, that meant most had to pick and choose a few channels and leave vast swaths of media unseen. Except for quibi, which no one saw, ever. Big budget blockbusters got pushed back again and again as studios played chicken and the odds with the release dates. Warner Bros. just threw in the towel and announced all of their 2021 slate would debut on HBO Max at the same time as a theatrial release. This came as news to everyone involved in all of those movies (and they were given less than 30 minutes before the announcement was made public) except Gal Gadot and Patty Jenkins from Wonder Woman 1984, who got a cool $10 million each to promote the streaming release like it was the best thing since sliced bread! This made a bunch of people mad and the drama is still ongoing as directors scream into the void about how their films are pure cinema and must be seen in a theater so you can experience the grey and brown CGI done by underpaid animators working at home while their children play at their feet in much bigger size. Christopher Nolan took his ball and went to Universal to make his big deal Oppenheimer movie. Disney started dumping films onto Disney+, some with premium viewing fees on top of the monthly fee, while others were tossed their for free. This included the Mulan remake, which I have never heard anyone say anything positive about, ever. MCU's Black Widow also got a streaming exclusive release, which mean that ScarJo sued Disney as her contract was all about that box office performance (in addition to the $20 million she got outside of that) They settled because they both want to go on making more and more money Due to the crisis, we are changing how the OP is set up. So let's begin... Pre-Plague Box Office notable films: Dolittle - The weirdest talking animal movie ever, Dolittle films just can't help being fiascos and this one features Robert Downey Jr. with his hand up a dragon's butt. The Call of the Wild - Harrison Ford and a CGI dog was expected to bomb but did okay at the box office, but that wasn't enough as this movie was super expensive, costing up to $150 million. With only pulling in $110.8 million worldwide, there was no gold in these mountains. Sonic the Hedgehog - Notable because it was not terrible and there was a huge fan campaign to change the CGI of Sonic from ghastly to ok. Sure some artists worked overtime for weeks to do it, but Sonic was pretty so it was all worth the stress and low pay. Post-Plague Box Office: New Mutants - This was a joke for years in these threads as it looked like it would never get a release. Well, it finally did, and it turns out it was a joke. Enjoy these characters popping up in Avengers 12 The Wretched - Noted because thanks to a quirk of the limited amount of films in theaters, The Wretched was number one at the box office for six weeks in a row, no film has done that since Avatar. Opening weekend at 12 whole theaters earned $65,908, so you can see the kind of money we are dealing with. Eventually Becky took it down in week 7, where it only made $148,583 for third place. I guess it's a horror film about a witch, but the witch isn't named Blair so I don't care. Monster Hunter - A video game movie where there are giant monsters but no one cared about that because the story was all about a racial slur against Chinese that got included as a joke, everyone got mad, and the line is now deleted from all versions of the film, making illegal cam bootlegs a valuable collector's item to torrent. Dear Evan Hansen - They adapted the musical that put Ben Platt on the map (outside of the fact he was a nepotism hire but lol) and then they kept Ben Platt as the lead, a high school kid, despite the fact he looks older than me while having been born while I was in high school. It was creepy, everyone freaked out, but I hear the movie might be good besides that. I'll never know... The Many Saints Of Newark - A Sopranos prequel seems like a slam dunk, but despite high expectations this one sort of made everyone go "meh" and then wander away. The worst failures are the ones where they just forget about you forever. Reminiscence - speaking of memory, this film about recreating memories starring Hugh Jackman manage to lose a bunch of money with the worst debut of all-time for a film playing in over 3,000 theaters. Also I hear it isn't very good. Chaos Walking - No way was this a real movie. Next! Snake Eyes - Remember there was a GI Joe prequel? Action fans hated it and no one else seemed to have bothered. Don't worry, action fans and everyone else also hated... Mortal Kombat - which was more of a horror film than an action film, or an action horror. They also forgot to have a tournament in their movie about a tournament. What a boner! West Side Story - Not only was this Spielberg adaptation released around the same time as Spider-Man, but the lead Ansel Elgort allegedly sexually assaulted someone. Regardless, Film Twitter informed me that I personally killed movies because I didn't go see it in theaters. And if you didn't, you killed movies, too. For shame. The Last Duel - Instead of twitter, director Ridley Scott himself directly insulted everyone who didn't want to go see The Last Duel. “I think what it boils down to — what we’ve got today [are] the audiences who were brought up on these loving cell phones. The millennian do not ever want to be taught anything unless you are told it on the cell phone,” Wow, he sure told us! Ghostbusters: Afterlife - Sony busted the girl squad and went with a sequel to the original film directed by the son of the original director that was 10000% focused on nostalgia. That thing you dreaded was going to happen, happened. There was also an Asian kid named Podcast and a ghost named Muncher. Spider-Man: No Way Home - This made all the money and may have killed a bunch of people with covid in packed theaters. VOD Hall of Shame: Scoob! - Scooby-Doo got rebooted as kids, they ditched all the voice actors for celebrity gimmick actors, threw in a bunch of other Hannah-Barbera properties, but forgot to make their movie good. The Witches - A remake of the Roald Dahl book (I guess technically a new adaptation but whatever) with Anne Hathaway as the leader of the witches. I did not hear much of anything about this when it landed online so I guess it has disappeared into the ether. Artemis Fowl - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n0-QNqnkoYY Trolls World Tour - This Troll film was released to streaming in 2020 which means more people probably saw this cereal which is still for sale than the Troll film  COMING 2022 (or 2023 or 2024 or 2025 or a streaming service near you!): Legally Blonde 3 - Excuse me, there was already a third Legally Blonde movie that was direct to video, you can't just ignore it! Okay, maybe you can and should... Fast & Furious 10 & 11 - Vin Diesel is now begging The Rock to come back. The Rock is saying No. Top Gun: Maverick - Top Gun is back with a non-offensive to China jacket and also the Son of Goose (Miles Teller)! Morbius - https://twitter.com/Variety/status/1345557996361814017 You read the tweet, this movie is anticipated, tweets are never wrong! Everything in that tweet is 100% accurate. Sonic the Hedgehog 2 - Idris Elba is Knuckles. You'll see it just for that. Sure it looks fun, too, but this is the reason. Puss in Boots: The Last Wish - Yes, the Shrek franchise is still alive, somehow. I don't know if Shrek will actually be in this one, he wasn't in the other Puss in Boots movie Uncharted - Tom Holland is Nathan Drake so we got a young not-Indy movie to compete with the Old Indy movie. At least Chris Pratt isn't starring. Indiana Jones 5: Assignment Miami Beach - this isn't scheduled until 2023 now, at least until Harrison Ford hurts himself again and it gets pushed back even longer. Plot probably involves Indy yelling at a cloud and putting an onion on his belt. Did you know he is older than Old Indy from the Young Indiana Jones show? I blame the march of time. Fantastic Beasts: The Secrets Of Dumbledore - The Queen of TERFs has a new movie coming out that is now Johnny Depp free, but WB would like you to forget that JK Rowling is involved at all with this franchise so they can go back to printing money. Will Dumbledore do anything even remotely gay since that is one of his big secrets? I'm guessing no, that won't get the sweet overseas box office. Jurassic World: Dominion - I can't believe the Dominion is attacking Jurassic Park, but at least I'll finally get to see Captain Sisko ride a T-Rex! Avatar 2 - This will make all the money, especially when Spider-Man shows up Prior threads: 2020 & 2021 2019 2018 2017 2016 2015 2014 2013 2012 2011 2010 2009 2008 MechanicalTomPetty posted:R.I.P. to the last 2 years, lets hope 2022 is a slightly somewhat marginal improvement. Cross those fingers but don't hope on those fingers
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Jan 1, 2022 20:56
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| # ? May 9, 2024 00:48 |
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Don't forget that we're for some reason getting yet another Scream movie in a couple of weeks. Yay? Uncharted looks like trash, and I say that as someone who has played all of the games.
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Jan 1, 2022 21:05
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The opening to Dolittle was a beautiful piece of animation and that much at least was worth watching from it.
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Jan 1, 2022 21:10
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Really?, no mention of Cruella or Space Jam 2?
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Jan 1, 2022 21:10
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I think we've mostly forgotten both by now
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Jan 1, 2022 21:12
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Does Morbius’ hand in that image mean that he has those unsettling Videodrome palm orifices and go on about plaaaassssmaaaa like in the old cartoon?
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Jan 1, 2022 21:19
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Cruella is just forgettable (and getting a sequel) but Space Jam 2 probably should have gotten mentioned just for the IP consolidation and regurgitation trend, but outside that the film has been forgotten so much I didn't even see it on year end lists I looked at
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Jan 1, 2022 21:22
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Tars Tarkas posted:Cruella is just forgettable (and getting a sequel) but Space Jam 2 probably should have gotten mentioned just for the IP consolidation and regurgitation trend, but outside that the film has been forgotten so much I didn't even see it on year end lists I looked at Was that the one where LeBron does an actual Chaos Dunk and traps Don Cheadle in the Phantom Zone as an NFT?
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Jan 1, 2022 21:29
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Something like that
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Jan 1, 2022 21:50
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FlamingLiberal posted:Something like that Man, Cruella was a real departure from the cartoon version 
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Jan 1, 2022 22:10
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I loved Cruella and The Last Duel, I liked Reminiscence I'll watch/am looking forward to Scream My guilty pleasure of the theater year might be won early with Moonfall (aka Roland Emmerich makes the moon kill us) out next month
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Jan 1, 2022 22:36
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Is the second part of Dune supposed to be out in 2022?
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Jan 1, 2022 23:28
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best movie of 2021 was Eric Andre's BAD TRIP on Netflix.
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Jan 1, 2022 23:29
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Chris James 2 posted:I loved Cruella and The Last Duel, I liked Reminiscence  I've been looking forward to that one since I saw the trailer months ago. DarkSol posted:Is the second part of Dune supposed to be out in 2022?
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Jan 1, 2022 23:31
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DarkSol posted:Is the second part of Dune supposed to be out in 2022? I can't imagine it would be, I don't think it's started filming or even been fully cast yet.
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Jan 1, 2022 23:35
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Just assume there will be random waves of release dates pushes so a lot of later 2022 will end up being 2023 and so on
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Jan 2, 2022 00:14
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Tars Tarkas posted:... I laughed at this loud enough to scare my cat in the other room.
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Jan 2, 2022 00:19
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I'm watching Being the Ricardos on Amazon and all I keep thinking about is this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KiEeIxZJ9x0
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Jan 2, 2022 00:27
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Don't forget Jackass 4 is now getting a February 4 release.
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Jan 2, 2022 00:32
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DarkSol posted:Is the second part of Dune supposed to be out in 2022? October 2023.
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Jan 2, 2022 00:56
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I'll believe that Indy 5 and Avatar 2 are coming out when you can actually buy tickets for them
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Jan 2, 2022 01:00
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Jose Oquendo posted:Don't forget Jackass 4 is now getting a February 4 release. I’m Alan Smithee and this is Jackass (Goes to a theater to watch Jackass)
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Jan 2, 2022 02:06
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Rageaholic posted:I'm watching Being the Ricardos on Amazon and all I keep thinking about is this: The promos make me think Its going to be this https://youtu.be/A5Zdp1RfoyI
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Jan 2, 2022 02:08
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Alan Smithee posted:The promos make me think Its going to be this https://youtu.be/A5Zdp1RfoyI That clip gets me every time 
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Jan 2, 2022 02:11
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Baron von Eevl posted:I can't imagine it would be, I don't think it's started filming or even been fully cast yet. It probably helps that most of what they used for part 1 can/will be reused in the sequel so that's probably a whole lot of work they don't have to slog through again. Dune was the surprise MVP of this year, a big budget sci fi release that a lot of people seem to like and isn't another loving Marvel movie so I hope work on Part 2 goes well.
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Jan 2, 2022 02:25
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egon_beeblebrox posted:best movie of 2021 was Eric Andre's BAD TRIP on Netflix.  Also worth it just for those 10 minutes of behind the scenes stuff in the credits. Neat to see things like failed takes and how much work goes into deeply stupid jokes.
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Jan 2, 2022 02:41
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Matrix Resurrections felt less like watching a movie and more like staring at a vile of Lexapro for two and a half hours.
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Jan 2, 2022 04:48
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Lol it is quite amazing that Avatar 2 is coming out this year. Even if James Cameron dramatically improves on plot and characterization this time, you're still stuck with the those Navi designs....
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Jan 2, 2022 05:12
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tars, i just wanna say that i love the effort you put into the OPs for every greenlit thread
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Jan 2, 2022 07:52
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Matrix Res reminds me of the story of some guy who helped make The Graduate and d hoff comes to him with a pitch: a sequel where ben is the dad and he seduces some younger girl and he's like "d hoff i think you'd have a good career writing for commercials"
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Jan 2, 2022 14:02
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That just reminds me that I don't think we've heard from Dustin Hoffman since he got MeTooed.
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Jan 2, 2022 14:10
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Pope Corky the IX posted:That just reminds me that I don't think we've heard from Dustin Hoffman since he got MeTooed. He's in the middle of filming stuff Wiki posted:Hoffman will next appear alongside Candice Bergen, Dianna Agron and Simon Helberg in As Sick as They Made Us directed by Mayim Bialik,[103][104] and is to star alongside Sissy Spacek and his son Jake Hoffman in Sam & Kate directed by Darren Le Gallo and set to commence filming in February 2022.[105][106]In September 2021, he was attached to feature comedy film Mr. Shaw Goes To Hollywood as co-founder of MGM studio, Louis B Mayer. Filming would tentatively commence fall 2021.[107]
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Jan 2, 2022 15:16
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Oh boy!
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Jan 2, 2022 15:33
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yeah the impression I got was that didn't really take
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Jan 2, 2022 15:37
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Aglet56 posted:tars, i just wanna say that i love the effort you put into the OPs for every greenlit thread
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Jan 2, 2022 17:50
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Chris James 2 posted:He's in the middle of filming stuff Hmm directed by Big Bang Theory person, starring Big Bang Theory person and Glee person. Not sure if Dustin is really being too judicious with his projects these days
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Jan 2, 2022 18:44
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He’s also like 85 years old
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Jan 2, 2022 19:32
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haven't seen mel brooks in much recently, who did he grope?
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Jan 2, 2022 19:35
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He's 95 and also making a sequel to History of the World Part II
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Jan 2, 2022 19:37
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All I ask is he pens a treatment for The Schwartz Awakens/The Quest For More Money before he croaks.
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Jan 2, 2022 20:01
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