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Here is the thread to confess lies. Lies-- we've all done 'em, by mistake or on purpose, with malice in our hearts or just for fun. But today we have a thread to confess 'em and wipe the slate clean. Post ITT to confess your lies before the public and feel the weight of your crimes fall away. 1.) When I was in college I told everyone that I had gone to summer camp with the famous cartoonist K.C. Green. I thought this was true-- but it was a lie. I eventually found out that I actually went to regular summer camp with somebody else, named Casey Green, who never became a cartoonist. It was a "fool's lie," made out of ignorance. I confess my lie. 2.) Earlier this week on the phone with my mom I told her that I had made vegan nachos. This was a lie. I made vegetarian nachos. I only wanted my mom to think I was cool. I confess my lie, this time too. 3.) In college I told my friends that I was the first baby ever born. I told them that my genitals were a hologram, and not to worry about them. This was a lie of drugs. I confess my lie. |
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Jan 21, 2022 05:41
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| # ? May 6, 2024 22:41 |
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someone asked me how i was doing and i said i was doing well but really i was just doing okay |
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Jan 21, 2022 06:30
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"we don't have coke. is pepsi alright?" absolutely. i don't even like drinking soda to begin with i could have just ordered water |
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Jan 21, 2022 06:31
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once i told a woman it was really hard but i had to break up with her. it wasn't hard, we had just gotten to the deadline in my head where if feelings hadn't developed for her i needed to cut things off for her sake. i kind of feel bad about this one. there was a period when i was younger and my mental health was not in a good state where i stopped attending university, but pretended i was still going. this lasted for maybe two months and i course corrected but for a while i was leaving my home and just sleeping in my car. again, feel kinda bad about this one. but confession is good for the soul! i'm so much lighter now, WOW
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Jan 21, 2022 18:35
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i lied to someone that it wasn't gonna be a forever breakup i just needed some time but i had no intention to continue the relationship. i did this because i did not want to be the bad guy by breaking up with her when she did not want that. it really hosed up her whole year. i confess this lie. one of my big big regrets  e: on a lighter note i'm so used to using the unsmith smilie that i typed that instinctively and then had to panic-quick edit the post so i wasn't smiling at a lovely thing i did lol
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Jan 21, 2022 21:33
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when i said i had misread the title of the 'what would rupert the bear do with an urumi' thread, I lied. I knew exactly what thread i was posting in
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Jan 21, 2022 22:18
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one time a person in a sandwich shop asked if i wanted peppers on my sandwich. i did not want peppers on my sandwich but i said "yes" because i did not want to be disagreeable. i confess this. |
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Jan 21, 2022 22:38
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I ain’t never not done didn’t but I have also never done did not done do
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Jan 21, 2022 23:45
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nut posted:I ain’t never not done didn’t but I have also never done did not done do same but actually even more so ---------------- |
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Jan 22, 2022 00:57
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Sometimes I say "thank you" when I'm not all that thankful and also "you're welcome" when they're not very welcome |
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Jan 22, 2022 01:10
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Sometimes I say "no problem" but it actually was a mild imposition |
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Jan 22, 2022 02:26
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Sometimes I reply "On my way" or "working on it" to imply that the thing being discussed was already in progress when, in fact, I was sitting on my rear end doing nothing until their text reminded me |
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Jan 22, 2022 02:32
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google THIS posted:Sometimes I reply "On my way" or "working on it" to imply that the thing being discussed was already in progress when, in fact, I was sitting on my rear end doing nothing until their text reminded me I think this rates right behind "breathing" on the list of "things that people do"
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Jan 22, 2022 04:42
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yesterday: i told my boss i had just woken up when i reality when i saw his text i decided to go back to bed and deal with it later a much happier lie
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Jan 22, 2022 05:28
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at age six I stole a classmates tiny sewing scissors while she wasn't looking. I later stroked them and thought of her. young crushes can get weird that's my story ok don't expect more of these
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Jan 22, 2022 05:44
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Macnult posted:someone asked me how i was doing and i said i was doing well but really i was just doing okay I really feel this one |
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Jan 22, 2022 17:51
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I told my friend his dog is the cutest dog ever... but his dog is not in fact the cutest dog ever. it's my dog. My dog is the cutest dog ever |
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Jan 22, 2022 17:54
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I used to tell my colleagues i had a cold but i was actually depressed now i just tell them I'm depressed. I guess that's progress! |
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Jan 22, 2022 18:06
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I didn't actually fart, I was going to fart, but I didn't, so I claimed another's fart. Stolen fart valor |
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Jan 23, 2022 00:34
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I rlly want to post ITT but I've never told a lie so I can't |
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Jan 23, 2022 01:47
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IMO you should return those scissors, and feel peace
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Jan 23, 2022 01:53
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in fifth grade i was in an after school drama class. we found out we would have to memorize a script, but i never memorized it. the last week, i told my mom we didn't have a class that week and just left everyone else out to dry. i've felt bad about it for 20 years now. i confess my lie
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Jan 23, 2022 06:13
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literally every post i make is a lie |
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Jan 25, 2022 20:57
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GODSPEED JOHN GLENN posted:I didn't actually fart, I was going to fart, but I didn't, so I claimed another's fart. Stolen fart valor 
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Jan 25, 2022 23:00
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once I faked the funk on a nasty dunk. i can’t change the past, and im certainly not expecting anyone to forgive me, but I just want to get on with my life. |
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Jan 25, 2022 23:02
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Prof. Crocodile posted:once I faked the funk on a nasty dunk. i can’t change the past, and im certainly not expecting anyone to forgive me, but I just want to get on with my life. |
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Jan 26, 2022 01:18
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Prof. Crocodile posted:once I faked the funk on a nasty dunk. i can’t change the past, and im certainly not expecting anyone to forgive me, but I just want to get on with my life. in the name of the funker, the slam, and the holy roast, I absolve you of your sins. amen |
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Jan 26, 2022 04:06
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i've always had an extremely bad phobia about telling lies. one time, many years ago, i was working at a really lovely abusive place. there was a day when i really really really could not face going in. i thought about taking the day off sick, but i wasn't sick*. so i couldn't call in and give the excuse that i was sick. so what i did was, i filled a glass with water, and placed in on my kitchen floor. i called in to work and told them that i couldn't come in to work that day because there was two inches of water on my kitchen floor, and i had to deal with it. i might be in later if i can get it sorted by lunchtime. i left it on the kitchen floor all day. * i was sick but didn't realise it. this was during the 20th century when mental illness wasn't recognised as an illness
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Jan 26, 2022 15:57
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Dr. Honked posted:i've always had an extremely bad phobia about telling lies. one time, many years ago, i was working at a really lovely abusive place. there was a day when i really really really could not face going in.
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Jan 26, 2022 17:43
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I told my dog I was going to make a nice fur coat out of her if she licked my face again when I was trying to nap on the couch, but actually I just mooshed her head against mine and scritched her ears. |
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Jan 27, 2022 02:08
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"Don't worry about it, it's fine!" It was not fine. |
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Jan 27, 2022 02:17
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I sign work emails with "Kind regards" when my regards are not kind at all |
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Jan 27, 2022 09:14
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i am a Top Elite Gamer in quake iii arena makin' frags left and right and also a trillion billionaire that's actually the lie I just told it here the doctors put something in my meds to prevent me from Gaming too hard so it is actually completely impossible. When they see this post and sue me for public defamation i hit 'em with the public defecation in the courtroom gets them every time |
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Jan 27, 2022 09:29
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Enfys posted:I sign work emails with "Kind regards" when my regards are not kind at all |
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Jan 27, 2022 13:20
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One time someone asked me to confess a lie and I made up a lie to confess |
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Jan 27, 2022 14:38
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google THIS posted:One time someone asked me to confess a lie and I made up a lie to confess |
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Jan 27, 2022 14:46
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Jan 27, 2022 16:00
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I told everyone I'm actually a big scary mean bitch but it turns out I'm actually soft like a kitten made of pudding. |
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Jan 27, 2022 16:10
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Finger Prince posted:"Don't worry about it, it's fine!"
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Jan 27, 2022 17:47
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| # ? May 6, 2024 22:41 |
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Cardi BYOB posted:I told everyone I'm actually a big scary mean bitch but it turns out I'm actually soft like a kitten made of pudding. I'm the opposite, everyone in BYOB thinks I'm nice but actually whenever I see a post anywhere I get so mad that I kick my monitor into pieces, then I have to run out and rob some sucker's house to get a new one.
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Jan 27, 2022 17:54
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