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Today I was on call to service Abaddon, a well toned Incubus themed synthezoid. As I scrubbed his ports he began to confide in me that he was tired of all the loving. He believes that there may be more to him than his EROS Hardware 11.5" Hydraulic Member. He put in his two week notice, the first mandroid to do so in...I think ever. It's just as well since he's being retired next week. I'm not permitted to tell him but I don't have the heart to, either way. The next EROS model is said to boast a Footlonger and no free will. I hope this one won't make a habit of talking to me like poor Abaddon.
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Feb 8, 2022 21:35
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| # ? May 2, 2024 14:59 |
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*is a plumber, but for cum pipes*
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Feb 8, 2022 22:38
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Each night when I return the LoveBot to the maintenance garage, I have to clean the cum off the back port. Some nights, I clean off the blood.
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Feb 8, 2022 22:42
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Deki posted:*is a plumber, but for cum pipes* Boss says to make sure those pipes run directly to the EugenTech Research Center down the street. They're paying good money for that spunk.
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Feb 8, 2022 22:42
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I hear their screams in the night.
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Feb 8, 2022 22:43
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Buddy, they won't even let me gently caress the robots!
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Feb 8, 2022 23:20
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^gently caress buddy,
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Feb 8, 2022 23:25
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Who keeps messing with the testicles on the MR.Mansome unit #43? It takes me a whole hour to reattach them back and there's no reason to tear them off- they're strictly cosmetic!
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Feb 8, 2022 23:28
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When the dick sucking factory went out of business I lost my job, them fuckdroids just plum priced us out the market. It feels like a betrayal working here but it's the only place left that someone with my skills and experience can work at. I live for the days when one of the machines breaks down and I can get hands on like the old days.
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Feb 8, 2022 23:30
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hey boss all the robots ganged up on me and hosed my rear end so uhhh
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Feb 8, 2022 23:42
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Orange cleaner gets that cum right now
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Feb 8, 2022 23:42
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Does a mandroid think hard about electric baseball
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Feb 8, 2022 23:47
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Where the hell did the customer get these aftermarket parts from, industrial mining equipment?! A vagina should not do this!
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Feb 8, 2022 23:48
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Feb 8, 2022 23:49
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By popular demand posted:Who keeps messing with the testicles on the MR.Mansome unit #43? Take care of those. They're the last set of Universal Serial Balls 2.0 we have. Apple just redesigned the port and all the manufacturers are adopting it. We can't afford to outfit Mansome with new pin connectors.
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Feb 9, 2022 00:07
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i'm telling you guys, i don't think there's supposed to be this much blood - swear to god these lovebots are acting strange...
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Feb 9, 2022 00:16
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LoveBot is my doctor and I’m its doctor
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Feb 9, 2022 00:26
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Why? Why was I programmed to feel shame?!
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Feb 9, 2022 00:40
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I deal with the central heating system, test the fire extinguishers, arrange for building surveyors to come round once a year, that sort of thing. No, the technicians deal with the robots.
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Feb 9, 2022 00:45
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I hate working overnight shift here. The LoveBots keep trying to get into the office and it's really annoying having to manage the power for the doors.
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Feb 9, 2022 01:48
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I started out mopping the floor just like you guys. Then I moved up to washing robots. Now, I'm working the robot dryer. Pretty soon I'll make assistant manager, and that's when the big bucks start rolling in.
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Feb 9, 2022 02:01
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Who What Now posted:I hate working overnight shift here. The LoveBots keep trying to get into the office and it's really annoying having to manage the power for the doors. The "Cold Shower" protocol has been busted ever since the new SysAdmin pushed a bunch of his faulty code to the bots last week. None of them wanted to touch him before so I think he was trying to lower the standards on their Hot or Not heuristics. Now the bots are all fully overdrived nympho jobs. You'll have to gently caress them asleep. They'll grind the whole building down if you don't. Do not. DO NOT!! let them gently caress each other.
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Feb 9, 2022 02:04
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CheeseThief posted:When the dick sucking factory went out of business I lost my job, them fuckdroids just plum priced us out the market. It feels like a betrayal working here but it's the only place left that someone with my skills and experience can work at. Pssst….don’t tell anyone but I just pretended to be a robot and got hired here! I just walk all stilted and say BEEP BOOP while methodically sucking dick until it’s time to go home. Just like the factory!
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Feb 9, 2022 04:01
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Sounds like a lateral move with the same up and down
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Feb 9, 2022 04:04
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Sourdough Sam posted:The "Cold Shower" protocol has been busted ever since the new SysAdmin pushed a bunch of his faulty code to the bots last week. None of them wanted to touch him before so I think he was trying to lower the standards on their Hot or Not heuristics. Now the bots are all fully overdrived nympho jobs. Dude don't blame me on this. I quadrupled check the code multiple times. The lower standard parameter was a request from management to, and I quote, "Get the freaks to gently caress freaks". I warned him multiple times but noo he wanted it dropped. I've built my own variation of DommelBot at home, why the hell would I lower the standards of these bots? The glitch where you paradoxically point out by being slutty makes them less hot can create a buffer overflow in their parameters and should shut them down for a few hours before the failsafe reboots them. Dunno why the last admin assigned the value to a 4 bit integer but here we are.
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Feb 9, 2022 04:32
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Alright who is the lazy gently caress that is not cleaning out the cum gutters?
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Feb 9, 2022 04:39
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/Keeps installing blacklights to help illuminate the lounge and screaming internally on how this is a very bad idea
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Feb 9, 2022 04:43
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I’ve already seen westworld, op. Their use of sex robots was uninspired, to say the least.
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Feb 9, 2022 04:44
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*skimming over maintenance updates* lol the next firmware for the blimpo mcbubblebooty 7k enables the coprophilia function *spends rest of shift updating resume and applying for a maintenance job at the killbot lounge*
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Feb 9, 2022 07:36
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Dang these things are expensive
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Feb 9, 2022 07:45
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drat these horny hackers getting into the JTAG again. Why can't they just gently caress the robots like everyone else?
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Feb 9, 2022 07:46
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Check this out, the voicebox has been replaced from 'slutty MILF' to 'racist gorilla'.
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Feb 9, 2022 08:03
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*walks into the break room for coffee but the lights are off* *fumbles around trying to find the switch* *accidentally knocks over the little signs in front of identical containers labeled "creamer" and "cum"* *shrugs* *pours unknown white liquid into coffee* "Welp, back to the grind." *takes a sip and walks out*
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Feb 9, 2022 08:12
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"The Nexus 69 model has a certified Phillip K DICK and if you're nice to him he will let you be his Blade Rubber" I wish they'd stop editorializing these manuals. We've had this Sexplicant for only four years and he won't turn back on.
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Feb 9, 2022 08:18
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"Sorry to call you early, but you sure you've tested the firmware update? It's been stuck in some weird loop for whole three hours after closure now. Yeah I know the bot's emergency shutoff is in the navel... that's the problem."
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Feb 9, 2022 08:24
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i'm just here to drink the bleach
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Feb 9, 2022 08:27
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I miss the good old days. Somebody wanted a robot with a huge dong, all you had to say was "how long?" Things haven't been the same since they acquired DeviantArt...
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Feb 9, 2022 21:30
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Sourdough Sam posted:"The Nexus 69 model has a certified Phillip K DICK and if you're nice to him he will let you be his Blade Rubber" All those moments will be lost in time, like jizz in rain... Time to cum.
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Feb 9, 2022 22:05
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I was paging through the comments from the NPS surveys the other day. You won’t believe what the highest scoring bot is: Hypercum Red Alert (HRA-01). I know what you’re thinking: you’ve never heard of that bot and you thought you knew all of them, and that you’ve never heard of Hypercum, it seems like a fake name. Well yes, it’s a real bot and I figure I’m the only one to have maintained one, and yes it’s a fake name. The thing is HRA was “built” by that scoundrel ol Ash MacIntosh. He got a fake supplier into the system and issued himself purchase orders. Bought himself a dozen of these suckers, the box arrived, it was tiny, we thought there must have been a mistake. But it wasn’t. They were just regular wind up red oven timers people used for cooking, the cheapest looking ones you could imagine. Doesn’t even have a battery. And he had gone in with a label maker and stamped out PLZ CUM WEN BEL RINKS THX and stuck it to the front. And the johns can’t get enough of it. It triggers something… primal in them. It cuts to the heart of things in a way Synthaskin just… doesn’t, I guess. And yeah, since there are basically no moving parts there is basically no maintenance. I did it once - someone had tried to jam a card key to a brand new Tesla-Mercedes convertible they had bought for it into the cam. I yanked the card out and it was good to go. Unfortunately the car had been impounded AND repossessed, but at least that was an easy one - I billed 3 hours for the incident, no questions asked, so still up on it. I looked into Ash - apparently he got promoted to corporate. I didn’t think they were smart enough to recognise genius. Guess I was wrong.
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Feb 9, 2022 22:15
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| # ? May 2, 2024 14:59 |
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No, sir, it's not malfunctioning. If you aren't willing to upgrade to Premium Plus then the bot is designed to stop every 2 minutes and play a targeted advertisement before continuing. No I don't know why you keep getting the same Liberty Mutual ad, that's between you and the algorithm.
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Feb 9, 2022 22:22
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