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So it's coming up on Valentine's Day which is a cool day to chill and gently caress your SO. But it also might just be a reminder that, you know what, it's time to end this lovely relationship. So here is a really cool way to do it without texting your SO. Get one of those heart shaped pizzas from one of your local places. But ask them to just cut it in half, and that's it. Then when you and the SO open the pizza box, ready to dig in, they will ask  and you can say, "gently caress you, we're through.  "
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Feb 10, 2022 21:20
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| # ? May 5, 2024 22:35 |
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very clever idea!!! and then you still get pizza!
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Feb 10, 2022 21:50
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i think THEY get the pizza, otherwise the breakup doesn't count. dunno, not a lawyer
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Feb 10, 2022 21:52
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What if she interprets that to mean “I want to split your heart in half with my dick, like basically live with my dilz inside you” or like “half of me wants to do anal but the other half wants to do a creampie” and she ends up making you fall in love with her butthole and you grow old together and never tell her what the pizza was supposed to mean? 
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Feb 10, 2022 21:56
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woah
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Feb 10, 2022 21:57
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Just goad your partner into trying to eat their half in one go and don't call the ambulance when they choke. 
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Feb 10, 2022 22:05
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This life hack is too good not to try, someone date me for a few days so we can give it a whirl
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Feb 10, 2022 22:09
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ok follow me here pizza, delivered by ordained ministers, so they can perform a marriage on the spot call it pizza with anchovows matrimony and cheese pizza
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Feb 10, 2022 22:19
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Looking for goon love so we can break up in 4 days
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Feb 10, 2022 22:57
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Nah fam, just straight rear end disappear. Leave your wallet, phone, car keys, all your poo poo. Just straight up vanish like a fart at a sewage plant. None of this regular rear end ghosting, I'm talking straight manhunt style evade attention and gone.
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Feb 10, 2022 23:10
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I did the idea in the op except it was the Batman pizza and I broke up metaphorically with the franchise
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Feb 10, 2022 23:20
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Bad pizza is still good pizza
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Feb 10, 2022 23:23
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My best friend in college dumped his girlfriend the day before Valentine’s Day and got back together with her the day after so that he wouldn’t have to buy her anything
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Feb 10, 2022 23:26
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Sitting down with them in my Captain America shirt, Spiderman hat and Iron Man hoodie. "I think we should see other franchises."
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Feb 10, 2022 23:26
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Chrs posted:My best friend in college dumped his girlfriend the day before Valentine’s Day and got back together with her the day after so that he wouldn’t have to buy her anything Alpha move
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Feb 10, 2022 23:27
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More like Dalpha Move As in really stupid
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Feb 10, 2022 23:29
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Just get a card that says "Welcome to Dumpsville, Population: You".
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Feb 10, 2022 23:30
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Smugworth posted:Bad pizza is still good pizza have i got the thread for you...
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Feb 10, 2022 23:59
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Not dated in about a year and that's not going to change anytime soon.
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Feb 11, 2022 01:57
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I'm going on a date with a very amazing girl the day before Valentine's Day. On the actual day I'm gonna be high playing video games.
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Feb 11, 2022 02:05
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get them a big chocolate filled with tiny cardboard hearts
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Feb 11, 2022 02:13
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Im gonna do that heart trick to myself and probably masturbate to infinity and beyond.
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Feb 11, 2022 02:14
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No. 6 posted:Not dated in about a year and that's not going to change anytime soon. How are you going to arrange it so your last date was always a year ago? Are you seeing a time traveller?
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Feb 11, 2022 02:22
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replace your penis with one that is detachable. when you inevitably have valentines day sex as everyone does and your detachable penis pops off, loudly proclaim that you have to go. then move to the next town over. this is how i broke up with my last girlfriend.
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Feb 11, 2022 02:54
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I just do what you do op and say "im gay" that when she knows it's over 
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Feb 11, 2022 03:01
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Private Cumshoe posted:I just do what you do op and say "im gay" that when she knows it's over I tried that and she kept saying "I know" and it didn't work anyway now I'm married thanks for the bad advice jerk 
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Feb 11, 2022 03:02
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Learn mountain climbing and make sure your partner doesn't learn mountain climbing and then invite them to a valentines day picnic at the base of a mountain
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Feb 11, 2022 05:25
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Chrs posted:My best friend in college dumped his girlfriend the day before Valentine’s Day and got back together with her the day after so that he wouldn’t have to buy her anything Lifehacks.
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Feb 11, 2022 05:37
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instead of a steak cut in half like a heart, get an actual beef heart and just throw it at them w/ a card
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Feb 11, 2022 06:33
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Dress up like the Kool Aid man and then smash through a wall but instead of saying "OH YEAH!" say "WE'RE THROUGH!".
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Feb 11, 2022 06:58
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Have sex with their dad instead. It is easier.
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Feb 11, 2022 07:11
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make plans to meet and then leave the country for two years. this works way better if you don't have social media
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Feb 11, 2022 07:15
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syntaxfunction posted:I tried that and she kept saying "I know" and it didn't work anyway now I'm married thanks for the bad advice jerk My friend's out there rolling 'round the basement floor (Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh...)
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Feb 11, 2022 07:16
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Take them to see Scream 3 and tell them everything in the movie is true and exactly what they say all the time. Then leave.
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Feb 11, 2022 07:26
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Treecko posted:Take them to see Scream 3 and tell them everything in the movie is true and exactly what they say all the time. Who hurt you like this?
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Feb 11, 2022 07:26
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syntaxfunction posted:Who hurt you like this? Myself 
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Feb 11, 2022 07:28
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Treecko posted:Myself Aww I'm sorry to hear that You sound like you need cheering up. Wanna see a movie?
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Feb 11, 2022 07:32
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tell them you're gay. if the person is the same sex, tell them they smell
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Feb 11, 2022 07:37
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BONER X posted:very clever idea!!! and then you still get pizza! Thrown in your face, for good reason. EDIT: Wishing all you sickos a happy Valentine's Day in advamce. 
BigBadSteve fucked around with this message at 07:44 on Feb 11, 2022 |
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Feb 11, 2022 07:41
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| # ? May 5, 2024 22:35 |
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Via carrier pidgeon.
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Feb 11, 2022 07:53
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