If everytime you touched paper a postage stamp came out of your finger

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > If everytime you touched paper a postage stamp came out of your finger

Greg of Doom: Dec 22, 2021; by sebmojo

So you had a kind of infinite postage ability

# ? Feb 11, 2022 18:59

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# ? May 5, 2024 13:20

no pubes yet sorry: Sep 11, 2003

Ah the proverbial "William Dockwra" touch

# ? Feb 11, 2022 19:02

Big Beef City: Aug 15, 2013

Hey yo OP check this poo poo out:

The same as your idea, except every time, it's one of these motherfuckers instead:

# ? Feb 11, 2022 19:07

Lil Swamp Booger Baby: Aug 1, 1981

Pussi

# ? Feb 11, 2022 19:08

Greg of Doom: Dec 22, 2021; by sebmojo

Big Beef City posted:

Hey yo OP check this poo poo out:

The same as your idea, except every time, it's one of these motherfuckers instead:

No I wont check it out but thank you anyway

# ? Feb 11, 2022 19:08

OMFG FURRY: Jul 10, 2006; [snarky comment]

pretty sure amazon would poach you, chain you to a chair and keep you alive with the barest nutrients possible as your finger endlessly passes over boxes and envelopes

its a living!

# ? Feb 11, 2022 20:06

SIDS Vicious: Jan 1, 1970

there isnt usually stamps on my amazon orders just a shipping label

# ? Feb 11, 2022 20:07

Vakal: May 11, 2008

Amazon also seems like the only thing keeping Canada Post operating these days.

# ? Feb 11, 2022 20:09

Lil Swamp Booger Baby: Aug 1, 1981

BONER X posted:

there isnt usually stamps on my amazon orders just a shipping label

Pussi

# ? Feb 11, 2022 20:10

SIDS Vicious: Jan 1, 1970

Vakal posted:

Amazon also seems like the only thing keeping Canada Post operating these days.

i keep forgetting to go to the post office and mail out a bunch of art thanks for reminding me i will prohablt forget a gain soon

# ? Feb 11, 2022 20:11

ghost emoji: Mar 11, 2016; oooOooOOOooh

# ? Feb 11, 2022 20:13

Colonel Cancer: Sep 26, 2015; Tune into the fireplace channel, you absolute buffoon

I'd be sending my poo poo paper abroad for free!

# ? Feb 11, 2022 20:56

mudskipp: Jan 1, 2018; stop making sense

You'd still have to buy envelopes otherwise you'd smear over everyone else's nice letters

# ? Feb 11, 2022 22:02

no pubes yet sorry: Sep 11, 2003

# ? Feb 11, 2022 22:04

Wifi Toilet: Oct 1, 2004; Toilet Rascal

Thought this post was gonna be about a new thing where the government was giving the USPS access to the FBI fingerprint database. Then you could just put your thumbprint on a letter and the USPS would send you a bill every month for every time they scanned your print in the letter sorting machines.

# ? Feb 11, 2022 22:43

Gasmask: Apr 27, 2003; And if thou gaze long into an abyss, the abyss will also gaze into thee

hi sorry how would the government get paid under this scenario....!?

# ? Feb 11, 2022 22:50

Hardawn: Mar 15, 2004; Don't look at the sun, but rather what it illuminates; College Slice

Wow, could you imagine.

*Clicks tongue*

Yep, quite a world that would be.

# ? Feb 11, 2022 22:50

gleebster: Dec 16, 2006; Only a howler; Pillbug

I'd change my name to Frank.

# ? Feb 12, 2022 01:01

BigBadSteve: Apr 29, 2009

I'd rather have money come out of my finger. But the feds would come get you eventually, as they also would if you kept selling large quantities of stamps.

# ? Feb 12, 2022 15:54

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# ? May 5, 2024 13:20

Who What Now: Sep 10, 2006; by Azathoth

Sounds like the work of an enemy Stand

# ? Feb 12, 2022 17:30

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > If everytime you touched paper a postage stamp came out of your finger