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"Oh... oh no!! That does NOT represent my little Khaleesi! Honey, call our attorney! We're suing HBO. Oh and get me a caramel macchiato." 
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Feb 23, 2022 19:09
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| # ? May 24, 2024 03:44 |
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Kylo? Hey, Kylo, sweetie? Please don't touch the hummus, that's for the adults here, honey. Go upstairs and play with your felt collection, okay?
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Feb 23, 2022 19:12
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God drat it, Judge Holden! Leave your sister alone! I swear to god I will turn this car around!
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Feb 23, 2022 19:25
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Captain Bosch, did you do your homework? Thank you, sweetie! Yeah, we're a big C.H.U.D. household, as you can tell.
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Feb 23, 2022 19:27
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settle down, Susan From The Lion, The Witch, And The Wardrobe
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Feb 23, 2022 19:27
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Feb 23, 2022 19:28
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Awww lil Aerith and Sephiroth are playing so nice 
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Feb 23, 2022 19:29
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Bullshit, my son Coronavirus would never start a fight
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Feb 23, 2022 19:31
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is not your son and/or daughter also named: bort????
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Feb 23, 2022 19:38
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shut the gently caress up Obama
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Feb 23, 2022 19:41
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go to your room this instant Jerry Seinfeld
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Feb 23, 2022 19:41
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Turn off the TV, time for dinner ------stomper58!
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Feb 23, 2022 19:43
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Leia, we are going to that Star Wars Hotel experience and you are going to enjoy it! Do you know how hard I work so I can pay for things like this for you? You don't even like Star Wars? Don't be absurd, I asked your nanny and she said you would love it. When I was a kid, I was obsessed with it. Anyways, I need to go, tell your mom I won't be home in time for dinner again, the new client is keeping us really busy.
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Feb 23, 2022 19:43
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I'm a single father raising a son named Solid Snake. Well, raising him every other weekend when I get custody. And before you ask, yes, the divorce is because of the name.
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Feb 23, 2022 19:53
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I told you if you want your allowance this week you need to rake the lawn, Wario.
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Feb 23, 2022 19:58
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Hoping my son grows up to run for President so the whole nation can vote Goku.
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Feb 23, 2022 19:59
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One time I was at a bar and with my then fiance and three of her friends. The music was very loud and one of the women was talking and all I heard was "[inaudible]... named him Trowa." "Trowa? Like from Gundam Wing? Haha, who'd name their kid after the lamest Gundam Wing pilot!" Turns out she did. It was awkward after that but the DJ had dropped the bass right after so nobody could say anything lol
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Feb 23, 2022 20:04
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Gave them names that they will resent having as much as I resent having my three sons, Orion, Atlas, and Mars.
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Feb 23, 2022 20:04
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Goddamnit! How many times have I got to tell you we really are going to Disneyland! Stop trying to climb out of the car window Admiral Ackbar! No we are not going to the dentist. This is not a trap!!!
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Feb 23, 2022 20:05
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Jesus, finish your nachos right now or you won't get any churros!
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Feb 23, 2022 20:06
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i once heard an exasperated mom yell "Anakin, NO running in the library!" so there's nothing to joke about here, just real life stuff.
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Feb 23, 2022 20:08
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meet my triplets, Ed, Edd and Eddy! yes i know they're girls, what's your point
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Feb 23, 2022 20:13
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Despite what the book said, the kid hates being called C Sharp Major
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Feb 23, 2022 20:24
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It's time we had "The Talk", Garfield.
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Feb 23, 2022 20:31
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Little baby Shrek.
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Feb 23, 2022 20:43
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God, you and your brother Yahweh need to settle down!
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Feb 23, 2022 20:46
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Straight A's again! High five, The Holocaust!
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Feb 23, 2022 20:47
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I’m so proud of you getting straight B’s except for gym class, Voilodeon Ghagnasdiak!
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Feb 23, 2022 20:48
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No you can't take it off Venkman! First of all it's screen accurate, secondly your mother and I spent a lot of time and money building that proton pack for you. I don't care if you think it's heavy.
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Feb 23, 2022 20:57
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Twins but one of them is the Wa twin. Matt and WaMatt. Like a Waluigi thing. That'll be good for them i think.
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Feb 23, 2022 20:59
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We just named a daughter Mina, who is a fictional character in Bram Stoker's Dragula.
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Feb 23, 2022 20:59
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Joffrey!!! Put the NERF crossbow down and go brush your teeth! Jooooooffreeeey! I'm going to count to three.
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Feb 23, 2022 21:00
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My child is named Jesus 
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Feb 23, 2022 21:01
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What do you mean my daughter Bartleby the Scrivener is struggling with reading? It must be your teaching style.
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Feb 23, 2022 21:04
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Malcolm Excellent posted:My child is named Jesus 
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Feb 23, 2022 21:04
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Tell me, my young Skywalker, have you ever heard the tale of The Jabberwocky? "No..." I thought not. It's not a story your teachers would tell. It's an English story.
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Feb 23, 2022 21:12
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My little Hillary Robot Clinton will be president someday!
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Feb 23, 2022 21:14
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No more tea parties until you clean your room, Warrior of the Wasteland, Ayatollah of Rock and Rolla, the Lord Humungus!
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Feb 23, 2022 21:14
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Ready for school player one?????????
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Feb 23, 2022 21:16
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| # ? May 24, 2024 03:44 |
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I renounce thee Satan! I cast thee out of my will. The inheritance goes to your sister, Melian the Maia.
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Feb 23, 2022 21:23
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