MENS ONLY Beauty Pageant

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Plant MONSTER.: I was watching simpsons at 0.75 without knowing until a scene where homer and bart were getting back massages at a hotel and the noises they were making were super drawn out like a youtube poop

NO DAMES!!!!

# ? Mar 5, 2022 02:20

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# ? May 10, 2024 18:23

Areola Grande: it's a free country u pervs

~~i like horses and cooking~~

*FART* how's it hangin fellers :clint:

spring sigs by nesamdoom and Ravenous Scoot

# ? Mar 5, 2022 04:36

Areola Grande: it's a free country u pervs

long walks on the beach are 4 PUSSIES :smuggo:

# ? Mar 5, 2022 04:43

Ass-penny

What do you have against women op?

# ? Mar 5, 2022 05:08

How Wonderful!: I only have excellent ideas

sneaking back stage to catch an eyeful of the big lads' hairy knees

-sig by Manifisto! goblin by Khanstant! News and possum by deep dish peat moss!

# ? Mar 5, 2022 06:34

Moo Cowabunga: [Office Worker.

here they are

Platinum User Pot Smoke Phoenix!

VANISHER

HEATHER PAPPS

https://giant.gfycat.com/WellgroomedImperfectHaddock.webm the vanisher

# ? Mar 5, 2022 08:40

How Wonderful!: I only have excellent ideas

the most elegant round is when they're each handed a harpoon and commanded to make the strongest pose they can. that's when you really separate the men from the boys

-sig by Manifisto! goblin by Khanstant! News and possum by deep dish peat moss!

# ? Mar 5, 2022 08:42

Buttchocks: No, I like my hat, thanks.

the fiercely competitive testicular symmetry round

# ? Mar 5, 2022 09:29

Finger Prince

Here's Dale, wearing traditional jorts, a chic sleeveless plaid flannel shirt, a bold foam fronted mesh baseball cap that says "Fishing" on it, and sporting boots by Timberland.
Dale, if you could put any lift kit on your pickup truck, what brand would it be and why?

# ? Mar 5, 2022 09:41

Uria aalge: Chi-la-la-la-lax

My money�s on Kit Canterton I I I. He uses a special oil for his muscles and in addition to his strength, beauty, talent, glossy mane and herbivore diet he is also a father of fourteen � what a stud!

Thank you for the winter sig, Heather Papps!

Thanks for the summer sig, ChubbyChecker!

"Nobody owns life, but everyone who can pick up a frying pan owns death" - Kurt Cobain

# ? Mar 5, 2022 11:36

Dr. Honked: eat it you slaaaaaaag

alright i'm just greasing myself up and i'll be out there in a minute

^{thanks deep dish pete moss and Plant MONSTER}

# ? Mar 5, 2022 15:13

Plant MONSTER.: I was watching simpsons at 0.75 without knowing until a scene where homer and bart were getting back massages at a hotel and the noises they were making were super drawn out like a youtube poop

rear end-penny posted:

What do you have against women op?

N-nothing

But the real answer behind it is that every time I make these threads, How Wonderful drops by with the funniest posts. I was preemptively giggling at her posts-to-come as I hit submit thread for this one lol

# ? Mar 5, 2022 15:20

Plant MONSTER.: I was watching simpsons at 0.75 without knowing until a scene where homer and bart were getting back massages at a hotel and the noises they were making were super drawn out like a youtube poop

How Wonderful! posted:

the most elegant round is when they're each handed a harpoon and commanded to make the strongest pose they can. that's when you really separate the men from the boys

You jest but this was going around on bear tumblr at one point. Large men would don jockstraps and athletic tape on their limbs and pose with harpoons, pitchforks and mall katanas

# ? Mar 5, 2022 15:23

Plant MONSTER.: I was watching simpsons at 0.75 without knowing until a scene where homer and bart were getting back massages at a hotel and the noises they were making were super drawn out like a youtube poop

I say as long as it makes you feel strong and sexy then do it

# ? Mar 5, 2022 15:24

Plant MONSTER.: I was watching simpsons at 0.75 without knowing until a scene where homer and bart were getting back massages at a hotel and the noises they were making were super drawn out like a youtube poop

But if pushing old ladies off roofs makes you feel strong and sexy please don�t

# ? Mar 5, 2022 15:24

your friend sk: (ヤイケス!)

Plant MONSTER. posted:

You jest but this was going around on bear tumblr at one point. Large men would don jockstraps and athletic tape on their limbs and pose with harpoons, pitchforks and mall katanas

hey pm what's your tumblr

# ? Mar 5, 2022 16:13

more falafel please: forums poster

do we have separate bear/otter/twink/jock divisions or is this gonna be another fiasco like Daytona in 06

thanks Saoshyant and nesamdoom for the sigs!

# ? Mar 5, 2022 16:27

How Wonderful!: I only have excellent ideas

to catch a twink... I must become a twink....

*practicing the most efficient way to open up 300 Chrome tabs of "boots from the Matrix" "cheap" and then closing them idly over the course of three or four hours*
*making Peaches-esque noises of anger and confusion in front of the mirror, grueling, demanding drills*
*yelling at my dad on the phone because my chapbook is coming out in December bitchhhhhhhh and I need to find a venue like huhhhhh???*
*purchasing a shirt with a horse on it*
*eating two bites of a $24 burger and then going "girlll I'm like, 88.9% vegan, like, whaatttttt???*
*inventing a new drink called The Lil Stinker that becomes the hottest potable in town, getting interviewed on two mixology podcasts in which I inadvertently make the hosts mad by getting racist about the X-Men*

ok... I'm ready....

-sig by Manifisto! goblin by Khanstant! News and possum by deep dish peat moss!

# ? Mar 5, 2022 16:45

How Wonderful!: I only have excellent ideas

How Wonderful! posted:

# ? Mar 5, 2022 19:29

Buttchocks: No, I like my hat, thanks.

Do we get more points for shaved chest or unshaved chest?

# ? Mar 5, 2022 20:39

Nosfereefer: IF YOU FIND THIS POSTER OUTSIDE BYOB, PLEASE RETURN THEM. WE ARE VERY WORRIED AND WE MISS THEM

first i imagined the MENS ONLY Beauty Pageant to be all about stereotypical male forms of expression, like beard length/girth. but in reality it is a contest to reveal the most beautiful inner life and emotions of the participants

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

# ? Mar 5, 2022 22:19

Nosfereefer: IF YOU FIND THIS POSTER OUTSIDE BYOB, PLEASE RETURN THEM. WE ARE VERY WORRIED AND WE MISS THEM

like when Brad Truck revealed his complicated past w/ his alcoholic mother, and how it hindered him from growing healthy relations during his teens. emotional honesty you could put a ring on

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

# ? Mar 5, 2022 22:22

Plant MONSTER.: I was watching simpsons at 0.75 without knowing until a scene where homer and bart were getting back massages at a hotel and the noises they were making were super drawn out like a youtube poop

Nosfereefer posted:

first i imagined the MENS ONLY Beauty Pageant to be all about stereotypical male forms of expression, like beard length/girth. but in reality it is a contest to reveal the most beautiful inner life and emotions of the participants

Yeah man that's what i been tryna say

Buttchocks posted:

Do we get more points for shaved chest or unshaved chest?

ew wtf. unshaved only

# ? Mar 5, 2022 23:14

Robot Made of Meat

Buttchocks posted:

Do we get more points for shaved chest or unshaved chest?

Eew! Shaved is grody!

Thanks to Manifisto for the sig!

# ? Mar 6, 2022 00:24

your friend sk: (ヤイケス!)

Nosfereefer posted:

like when Brad Truck revealed his complicated past w/ his alcoholic mother, and how it hindered him from growing healthy relations during his teens. emotional honesty you could put a ring on

his wedding to Pickup Truck was beautiful. i'm still not sure why he took its name though

# ? Mar 6, 2022 01:18

google THIS

Plant MONSTER. posted:

But the real answer behind it is that every time I make these threads, How Wonderful drops by with the funniest posts. I was preemptively giggling at her posts-to-come as I hit submit thread for this one lol

# ? Mar 6, 2022 01:24

Pot Smoke Phoenix: Smoke 'em if you gottem!

I'm entering solely on my abundant lack of self confidence while also being devoid of the kind of self awareness with regards to my physical appearance and painful lack of discernable style, as opposed to any sort of gamble or optimistic perception that I'm not actually a living breathing train wreck of a male specimen.

This sort of quasi-pseudo void of self respect and dignity would hopefully generate an aura of awe and incredulousness in the hearts and minds of judges and participants alike, as they outwardly and quite clearly wonder out loud what it was exactly that prompted me to attempt the effort in the first place.

Thank you for your consideration!

# ? Mar 6, 2022 02:54

Heather Papps: hello friend

for my special talent I will split some firewood while singing my special song
*struggles to remove shirt*

thanks Dumb Sex-Parrot and deep dish peat moss for this winter bounty!

# ? Mar 6, 2022 03:06

How Wonderful!: I only have excellent ideas

everybody quiet down the men are hard at work on the written essay segment of the pageant... they are writing five paragraph essays on which weapon they would wield if they were in a huge war against ninjas, vikings, pirates, samurais, and Halo guys... wait hold on I see a hand in the back, how can I help you sir? Ok, great question, yes, you CAN write in "darth maul lightsaber but with spoilers on the back," that's totally acceptable

*sounds of furious erasing from every other man in the room*

-sig by Manifisto! goblin by Khanstant! News and possum by deep dish peat moss!

# ? Mar 6, 2022 03:30

Ass-penny

Plant MONSTER. posted:

N-nothing

But the real answer behind it is that every time I make these threads, How Wonderful drops by with the funniest posts. I was preemptively giggling at her posts-to-come as I hit submit thread for this one lol

google THIS posted:

thank you so much to nesamdoom for the scurry fall sig!

(┛◉Д◉)┛彡┻━┻ #YesNutNovember - add this to your sig if you love and support BYOB's own nut

# ? Mar 6, 2022 04:47

Escape From Noise

Plant MONSTER. posted:

N-nothing

But the real answer behind it is that every time I make these threads, How Wonderful drops by with the funniest posts. I was preemptively giggling at her posts-to-come as I hit submit thread for this one lol

Just lol if your reason for posting a thread isn't to get a How Wonderful! reply.

# ? Mar 6, 2022 17:35

Plant MONSTER.: I was watching simpsons at 0.75 without knowing until a scene where homer and bart were getting back massages at a hotel and the noises they were making were super drawn out like a youtube poop

the other thing is is that everytime I envision it's Little My carrying out whatever misdeeds are being posted about. Little My terrorizing adult men with things like rubber spiders.

# ? Mar 6, 2022 19:15

Sherbert Hoover: Working hard, thank you!

hope these judges like dad bod :ohdear:

^{this sig is protected by Simsmagic!}

# ? Mar 7, 2022 20:55

Heather Papps: hello friend

and in this leg of the tournament we are going to give you five minutes in your sons house. the person who finds both the most individual problems that require immediate attention and the most expensive issue will move on the the next round, where you will critique your sons wifes body

thanks Dumb Sex-Parrot and deep dish peat moss for this winter bounty!

# ? Mar 7, 2022 21:26

Plant MONSTER.: I was watching simpsons at 0.75 without knowing until a scene where homer and bart were getting back massages at a hotel and the noises they were making were super drawn out like a youtube poop

Guys I just got done spying on the LADIES ONLY Beauty Pageant and it turns out it's actually a seminar on how to kill using knives and clubs. I-I think we're in grave danger.

# ? Mar 7, 2022 23:49

Plant MONSTER.: I was watching simpsons at 0.75 without knowing until a scene where homer and bart were getting back massages at a hotel and the noises they were making were super drawn out like a youtube poop

My boys have also informed me that they plan on coming up to us and using their feminine guiles to lure us in for a kiss only to swap a plunger with lipstick on it in at the last second. We can only assume this is to lower morale. But the beauty pageant must go on.

# ? Mar 7, 2022 23:54

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# ? May 10, 2024 18:23

your friend sk: (ヤイケス!)

Plant MONSTER. posted:

My boys have also informed me that they plan on coming up to us and using their feminine guiles to lure us in for a kiss only to swap a plunger with lipstick on it in at the last second. We can only assume this is to lower morale. But the beauty pageant must go on.

i dunno, this works for me

# ? Mar 8, 2022 00:01

The Something Awful Forums > Main > BYOB: BYOB BYOB BOYB BBOY YOBB YBOB BBYO?? > MENS ONLY Beauty Pageant

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