Register a SA Forums Account here!
JOINING THE SA FORUMS WILL REMOVE THIS BIG AD, THE ANNOYING UNDERLINED ADS, AND STUPID INTERSTITIAL ADS!!!

You can: log in, read the tech support FAQ, or request your lost password. This dumb message (and those ads) will appear on every screen until you register! Get rid of this crap by registering your own SA Forums Account and joining roughly 150,000 Goons, for the one-time price of $9.95! We charge money because it costs us money per month for bills, and since we don't believe in showing ads to our users, we try to make the money back through forum registrations.
 
  • Post
  • Reply
Tiny Myers

say hello to my little friend


I had a dream that BYOB had a writing challenge event. You had to write a short story but the whole idea was that it had to end in someone saying "I am a vampire" somehow.

I had this big elaborate story where you grow up and your lovely dad mysteriously dies and you're trying to find out who killed him and you realize you've been losing time and really hungry for some reason and oops turns out you are a vampire and you killed your dad and just kind of blocked that one out.

Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

The Walrus Cancer

If we were all trees, there'd be no more wars. 'Cause we'd be trees.
Walking down the road one night, you meet a gentleman. Something seems off, yet there is nothing abnormal about him.

He calls out to you, "Where are you going? I'm lost and in need of some direction."

Pushing down the thought that he's dangerous—after all, you live in the safest area there is; surely no one would be dumb enough to try anything with the authorities around the corner—you tell him that you're heading into town for a drink, "Would you like to come along? I could use the company."

"Absolutely! I think I can find my way once we hit town, and I have a few hours to kill, anyway," he responds. And so, the two of you head into town.

You're quite a way out, so you use the time to get to know each other. You discover that he's a traveling salesman come to town to sell drinkware. Yet, strangely, not once does he try to sell you any. In his defense, he tells you that he's left his product back at his lodgings and that he was out for a stroll when he lost his way. Satisfied with his answer, you realize that you're coming into town now. You may have been coming from a ways away, but it doesn't take long to cover ground when you're in friendly company. In short order, you make your way to the usual watering hole and invite the stranger in. After the usual chats with the other regulars and the staff, you and your new friend take seats at a table and begin quaffing the local specialty, called Dragon's Blood, while continuing your conversation from earlier. Produced on site, the secret blend of spices really does evoke the fieriness of a dragon in your mouth.

After some time, though, you realize you need to eliminate, so you inform your new companion and stand up to head to the bathroom. Unbeknownst to you, after you've left the table, the stranger also gets up and follows you to the washroom. After doing your business, you wash up at the sink, and you notice there is a mirror above the sink that wasn't there before. "That's odd," you think to yourself, "I don't remember this place ever having a mirror. Why would anyone here ever even need one? And for a new fixture, it looks a bit used," you think as you begin to notice some faint stains on the surface of the mirror.

Yet before you can get a closer look, you hear the sound of the door locking and your vision blacks out as the lights in the room are extinguished. Strangely, you can't see anything as it's now become pitch black. You've always been exceptionally good at seeing in the dark, and there should be some ambient light streaming under the door from the next room, so what give? You turn to look, or rather, you would turn to look, but your limbs seem to have been restrained in the blink of an eye, and you begin to register the weight of the hood that's been placed over your head.

You then hear the familiar sound of your new companion's voice, "It would seem you've made some enemies in your dealings with the underworld. You seem a nice fellow, so I'll make this quick. I'm sure you've noticed the mirror I've placed in this room. That'll be all the evidence I need." Then with a shout that you're sure could be heard through the door if not for the din of the patrons, "Now die, human scum!"

As you feel the man's weapon pierce your chest, you can't help but shout your objections to the strangers accusations with your last breath, "BUT I AM A VAMPIRE!"

  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
  • Post
  • Reply