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- When pouring salt, say "some of this salt is going on the counter on purpose" and then you don't have to worry about the bad luck from spilled salt (it's not "spilled" if it's supposed to be there). This is especially useful in situations where you only spill a few grains and can't easily find some to throw over your left shoulder to defuse the bad luck. - When something comes out to a number you don't like (like "13" or "666" for example), instead of adding or subtracting an action or object, alter your set size to include past instances of your activity so really you didn't get the bad number. - Buy pens without labels so you don't need to adjust the cap clip to line up with the writing. While this does impede the flow of spiritual energy through the pen, it saves you some anxiety. - Read up on "L'Appel Du Vide" and recognize that intrusive thoughts like the sudden urge to swerve into traffic or lash out violently at others are perfectly normal and actually fairly common and aren't a sign that if you lose focus for even a second the dark powers inside of you will reach out and take control of your body to hurt the people you love. Share some of your lifehacks!
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Mar 17, 2022 22:27
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| # ? Apr 27, 2024 23:35 |
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L'Appel Du Videez nutz
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Mar 17, 2022 22:31
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stop jacking off for like two weeks. then when you bust it's like a quart. nice
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Mar 17, 2022 22:34
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While in a public conversation with your romantic partner and others, make persistent yet pointed remarks that undercut your partner's credibility and pride in their own accomplishments. That way, when they inevitably embarrass you by talking about their interests and lives, the other people in the group will dismiss their words and not associate your partner's glaring flaws and foibles as a reflection of you.
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Mar 17, 2022 22:42
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When visiting friends or family, take a poo poo in the master bathroom and don't flush. It doesn't establish dominance or anything, it's just a fun thing to do.
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Mar 17, 2022 22:46
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If you don't remember all the words for the group eldritch chants that must only be said in darkness, don't worry! Just mumble it and keep on going!
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Mar 17, 2022 22:50
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Sorry about your bad day I just aggressively shitpost after chores.
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Mar 17, 2022 22:50
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Often quote from the Doom comic. Only a fool would bad mouth anyone so focused on eviscerating others.
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Mar 17, 2022 22:56
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Dress like a complete knob and/or doofus all the time while claiming that you're just quirky but really it's so that when people inevitably don't like you, you can just tell yourself they couldn't handle your individual expression
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Mar 17, 2022 23:02
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Buy multiple wedges of the same kinds of cheese and when a party guest uses the brie knife on the camembert you can simply throw the contaminated camembert in the trash and replace it with a fresh, clean wedge from your refrigerator without interrupting the party.
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Mar 17, 2022 23:06
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Maybe just like, take a chill pill dude.
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Mar 17, 2022 23:13
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Buy all the same clothes so you never have to be indecisive about what to wear.
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Mar 17, 2022 23:18
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And then just drink Soylent so you never have to think about tastes again either
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Mar 17, 2022 23:21
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Dedicate a crisper drawer solely to pickles of all different brands and cut styles. That way you can always have the exact right kind of pickle given any combination of weather, time of day, and sodium levels.
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Mar 17, 2022 23:51
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With enough practice you can train your body to only cum on even or odd numbered tugs, whichever your crazy brain needs to not meltdown.
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Mar 18, 2022 00:33
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cult_hero posted:Maybe just like, take a chill pill dude. I can't. Frat kids stole my Xanax and my prescription doesn't get refilled for another two weeks.
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Mar 18, 2022 03:40
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do your taxes before the deadline
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Mar 18, 2022 04:26
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here are some wifehacks for psychotic people: *chop *axe *bone *meat
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Mar 18, 2022 05:08
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Put a key ring through the hole in the zipper of all your pants. Hook it over the button fly when you zip up your pants. No one will ever say hey moron your fly is down again. You’re welcome.
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Mar 18, 2022 05:09
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I used to be super neurotic but then I adopted a pure butter diet, now I have Heart Disease also. Maybe eat MORE butter than me?
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Mar 18, 2022 05:14
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Is this the lovehacks for erotic people thread
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Mar 18, 2022 05:17
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buy entire buckets of lard and eat them
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Mar 18, 2022 05:17
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Colonel Cancer posted:Is this the lovehacks for erotic people thread yes. share ur lovehacks i have this tip: freeze your cum
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Mar 18, 2022 05:19
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Mimesweeper posted:buy entire buckets of lard and eat them 
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Mar 18, 2022 05:21
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Just budget time into your morning routine to check each of your door locks three times and look at each kitchen appliance and say "off" to verify that it is in fact off.
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Mar 18, 2022 12:29
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If the numbers on either side of the bar codes middle divider don't add up to the same number, it's ok to move numbers from one side to the other until they do. Don't throw out the product until you've done this.
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Mar 18, 2022 13:35
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Who What Now posted:L'Appel Du Videez nutz
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Mar 18, 2022 14:37
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Whenever you remember an awkward thing from 20 years ago, yell out "gently caress" within earshot of many people to get something new to worry about.
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Mar 18, 2022 14:43
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The buds of the cannabis plant are rich in a compound called tetrahydrocannabinol. When the buds are heated and inhaled, all of your neuroses gradually melt away and you discover what it feels like to actually enjoy being alive.
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Mar 18, 2022 19:32
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If you eat your own poo poo you don't have to put it in the toilet
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Mar 18, 2022 19:34
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AKZ posted:Just budget time into your morning routine to check each of your door locks three times and look at each kitchen appliance and say "off" to verify that it is in fact off.
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Mar 18, 2022 19:37
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Any time you eat a food that might have, at one time in the past, made you sick, make sure to actively monitor yourself for any signs of stomach upset for at least one full day afterward. Don't eat again until the monitoring is complete, so as not to introduce confounding variables into your data. This Is the Zodiac fucked around with this message at 19:48 on Mar 18, 2022 |
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Mar 18, 2022 19:46
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save money on entertainment expenses by staring at a wall and disassociating for multiple hours
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Mar 18, 2022 19:46
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dsf posted:save money on entertainment expenses by staring at a wall and disassociating for multiple hours Hell I do this at work and get paid for it
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Mar 18, 2022 21:30
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check the time on your wristwatch or smartphone
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Mar 18, 2022 21:32
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What Would Larry David Do?
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Mar 18, 2022 21:49
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numberoneposter posted:What Would Larry David Do? shill for bitcoin
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Mar 18, 2022 21:51
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measure your ingredients with a kitchen scale or measuring cups when following a recipe
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Mar 18, 2022 21:58
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numberoneposter posted:What Would Larry David Do? Beat that dick off
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Mar 18, 2022 22:02
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| # ? Apr 27, 2024 23:35 |
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Lifehacks I use: If you're ever dealing with thoughts of self harming then just realise it would make other people feel bad and you're intentionally doing it what are you some kind of monster just sit and cry you sociopathic piece of poo poo. In a rush? No worries, just misplace an inconsequential item you don't even need. The existential dread and realisation you're a horrible person who can't do anything right will induce a panic attack and you'll find it pronto and then you're out the door! In tears and out of touch with reality for a bit, but that's efficiency for you. Keep loved ones safe by insisting that if you haven't been watching food or drinks like a hawk that they're instantly contaminated and they need to be thrown out. But because that'd be a dick move you don't, and just have to pretend you're okay while blaming yourself for when they inevitably get sick and die. You let this happen. Why would you do this?
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Mar 18, 2022 23:34
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