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*throws manuscript in trashcan and walks over to the mirror* YOU'RE GARBAGE!! YOU'VE ALWAYS BEEN GARBAGE *throws rocks glass of Burnetts Cherry Vodka at mirror* *collapses in fetal position*
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Mar 28, 2022 03:44
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Mar 28, 2022 03:56
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GOD I CANNOT FOR THE LIFE OF ME THINK OF SOMETHING THAT RHYMES WITH BEE
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Mar 28, 2022 03:58
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What, me worry? BLECHHHH!
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Mar 28, 2022 03:59
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This summer why not spice up your kid's hair with, I dunno, fuckin' blonde highlights or some poo poo or whatever.
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Mar 28, 2022 04:01
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*a parent and child excitedly flip to the craft page pumped to do a cool craft together* *craft is "PAINT A ROCK A COLOR"* *dejection*
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Mar 28, 2022 04:04
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A new study which my editor Tom says we are not to report on says that dying your child's hair once a week is a leading cause of childhood cancers.
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Mar 28, 2022 04:14
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no good, try again
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Mar 28, 2022 04:22
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*takes a long pull on my cigarette* *mournfully looks at the loaded .45 revolver on my desk* *decides that the eighth Spot the Difference will be a beachball in a bush*
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Mar 28, 2022 04:28
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*logs on to something awful dot com and navigates to PYF puzzles thread*
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Mar 28, 2022 04:30
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"Ma! Butter's on fire!" "Goldurnit, Tommy, that's what you get for having a wooden goat!"
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Mar 28, 2022 04:31
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I've been sneaking dongs into hidden pictures for years and they still haven't noticed and fired me, gently caress!
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Mar 28, 2022 04:34
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*talking to editor on the phone* Yeah, he's called uh.....*looks around for a quick idea*....Vinnie the Vacuum Cleaner and uh...he uh...teaches kids to uh....clean up their room?? Yeah! Clean up their room. c'mom, man. I really need the money. Linda threatened to leave and the dog has a tumor...
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Mar 28, 2022 04:38
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Posts a few questionable fuzzy pics in the "Guess What This Is" magnified things game page towards the back every week. Examples: a. Smegma b. Booger c. Breast cancer cells (Yes this was a thread idea of mine way back, even bought the 100x lens)
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Mar 28, 2022 05:08
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*finally finishes this month’s “Spot the Differences” drawing just in time for deadline* *realize all 20 differences are stern drawings of my disappointed father’s face*
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Mar 28, 2022 05:18
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I WAS GOING TO BE A NOVELIST!! *therapist raises big bushy eyebrows* "Please, calm down Johnathan."
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Mar 28, 2022 05:20
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GOOFUS posts a thread on the something awful forums GALLANT post on the subreddit most appropriate to his inquiry
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Mar 28, 2022 05:59
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Spinz posted:Posts a few questionable fuzzy pics in the "Guess What This Is" magnified things game page towards the back every week. Examples: I can see the boogers but where were you planning on sourcing the smegma and cancer???
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Mar 28, 2022 06:18
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Ok boss here's the finalized personality quiz for that magazine, go ahead and run it *all answers lead to "ungrateful snotnosed brat, huge disappointment" personality type
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Mar 28, 2022 06:21
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RepeatingMeme posted:I can see the boogers but where were you planning on sourcing the smegma and cancer??? Goon doctor subforum would have helped me out Or I mix yogurt milk toothpaste and beige eyeshadow and just SAY it's smegma
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Mar 28, 2022 06:57
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I have a subscription to Highlights high five. No Goofus and Gallant. But there is a recurring story about a kid named Indy, I don’t like it, but I think getting something in the mail is good. Okay
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Mar 28, 2022 07:23
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the timbertoes but its a 7 panel aristocrats joke
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Mar 28, 2022 07:32
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a maze puzzle but its a straight line from the mouse to his house where another mouse is loving his wife
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Mar 28, 2022 07:34
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Who gives a poo poo? Some kid is going to see this in their dentist's waiting room and wonder if it'll distract them from the impending drilling. Go play with that bullshit loopy toy, kid.
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Mar 28, 2022 07:49
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a crossword puzzle that looks awfully similar to jack nicholson's novel his character is writing in The Shining
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Mar 28, 2022 07:53
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Gallant makes his bed every morning! Goofus....craps in it, whatever, who loving cares, nothing matters. who gives a poo poo.
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Mar 28, 2022 08:43
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Unscramble the letters to find something good to eat! SSA
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Mar 28, 2022 12:36
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ScRoTo TuRbOtUrD posted:a maze puzzle but its a straight line from the mouse to his house where another mouse is loving his wife heh
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Mar 28, 2022 15:40
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Hey Kids! This summer - punch your Mom in the face and see what happens! WOW!
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Mar 28, 2022 15:43
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Just wait til all the horrid crotch spawn start solving my Word Search.
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Mar 28, 2022 15:59
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its all nice on rice posted:Who gives a poo poo? Some kid is going to see this in their dentist's waiting room and wonder if it'll distract them from the impending drilling. Just lmao if you dentist didnt have an n64 in the waiting area with Pokemon Snap on deck ready to go
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Mar 28, 2022 16:28
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RepeatingMeme posted:Just lmao if you dentist didnt have an n64 in the waiting area with Pokemon Snap on deck ready to go i have bad news for you, that wasnt the dentist's office and you need to go to therapy immediately
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Mar 28, 2022 16:54
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point out it is fun so they'll know it is fun.
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Mar 28, 2022 17:20
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My mom set up a subscription for my son. I'm pretty sure all the writer's have given up. Every story is like, "Simon cried, because he wanted ice cream. So Timoja grabbed his hand and they found change under the couch cushions. Then they walked to the store and bought the ice cream." It's nice to have them, but holy poo poo they're boring AF.
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Mar 28, 2022 17:46
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Craft idea: soak a bunch of toilet paper in water and turn your bedroom into a spooky cave complete with stalactites!
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Mar 29, 2022 03:52
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Make magic potions with the ingredients you find under the sink!
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Mar 29, 2022 03:54
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*Prints every single reader letter received that month in Letters to the Editor section because the issue is three pages short*
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Mar 29, 2022 03:56
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The Timbertoes Meet the Beavers.
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Mar 29, 2022 11:20
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Literally A Person posted:*a parent and child excitedly flip to the craft page pumped to do a cool craft together*
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Mar 29, 2022 12:02
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*types out the entire John Galt speech*
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Mar 29, 2022 13:49
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