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If you put a gun to my head and told me to write another poem about spring I'd tell you to just pull the trigger.
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Mar 29, 2022 13:54
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Extra Large Marge posted:If you put a gun to my head 
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Mar 29, 2022 14:08
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Copy pasting articles from Ranger Rick.
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Mar 29, 2022 14:58
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"And why the gently caress SHOULD I care, Jim?? You think this is a real magazine? It's a loving distraction for kids waiting to get their teeth drilled! You know this poo poo isn't competing with Ranger Rick, we're competing with those goddamn sliding blocks on a wire, and we're losing!" *taps end call button while thinking about how much more satisfying it was to slam phones down back when I first started this job back in '87*
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Mar 29, 2022 16:05
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Can you escape from Samsara? (Cute picture of the wheel of death)
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Apr 1, 2022 04:46
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Spending twice as much time as you need redoing a stupid loving cartoon coqui while fantasizing about an edgy prestige drama reboot where Goofus steals Gallant's wife and Gallant slashes Goofus's tires.
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Apr 1, 2022 05:02
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*plays with sliding blocks on wires instead of making puzzles or whatever* lol. this poo poo is cool actually. kids got the right idea.
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Apr 1, 2022 06:15
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Tests out fold-in for this month’s issue. “The all aighty ollar? Eh, gently caress it. Send it through.”
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Apr 1, 2022 18:25
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Captain Underpants? Yeah that was my idea
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Apr 1, 2022 18:30
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 Just let me find my muse, ok? 7 paragraphs on theme with illustrations doesn't just write itself! But I'm still good for it. I still got the touch*Dips a fun-dip stick into a bag of dark web fentanyl*
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Apr 1, 2022 18:40
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Lorthdon posted:Tests out fold-in for this month’s issue. “The all aighty ollar? Eh, gently caress it. Send it through.” "At least we outlived Mad"
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Apr 1, 2022 18:44
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Good morning shitheads, guess who just got poached by Cricket magazine? That's right, yours truly! So, you can take your Goofuses, Gallents, hidden picture puzzles, and the entire Timbertoe family and shove them right up your goddamn asses.
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Apr 1, 2022 18:45
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*draws a goofus and gallant that is clearly rehashing an argument I just had with my wife*
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Apr 1, 2022 18:54
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Tex and Indy attend Arizona's funeral!
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Apr 1, 2022 20:33
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I slowly rise out of bed a half hour later than I had planned and stumble out to the garage. I open the fishing box where I keep my stash of cannabis to remember that I am freshly out. I stumble back to the bedroom and crawl back under the covers to sleep for another two hours
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Apr 1, 2022 21:09
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gently caress it, I'm just going to submit this Goofus and Gallant from 1989. No one will notice.
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Apr 1, 2022 21:25
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Bob, would you like to give the keynote at this year's HighlightCon ?
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Apr 2, 2022 00:24
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Ignoring texts from my editor because I know he’s just going to complain about how my “Fun Facts About Penguins!” article was mostly reasons why Melissa left me.
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Apr 2, 2022 19:37
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Resubmitting my article from last year, hitting Ctrl+H and just replacing “lions” with “penguins”
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Apr 2, 2022 19:46
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[Spends most of their wage commissioning porn of the fun cartoon animals in a fit of burnout-induced lust]
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Apr 2, 2022 20:24
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cooking with carcasses: why roads could be the farms of the future
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Apr 2, 2022 20:29
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Trixie Hardcore posted:Ignoring texts from my editor because I know he’s just going to complain about how my “Fun Facts About Penguins!” article was mostly reasons why Melissa left me. MELISSA WAS MY MUSE GOD DAMNIT!!! *sobs uncontrollably*
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Apr 2, 2022 22:46
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They bought my piece about helping your parents set the table, I'm gonna go get drunk and pick a fight with those Ranger Rick losers
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Apr 2, 2022 23:15
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Literally A Person posted:*throws manuscript in trashcan and walks over to the mirror* shut up literally a person
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Apr 2, 2022 23:59
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Literally A Person posted:MELISSA WAS MY MUSE GOD DAMNIT!!! Mumpy Puffinz posted:shut up literally a person
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Apr 3, 2022 00:00
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I wrote stories📰 with small inline pictures🖼️ before emojis. Now⏰ any rear end in a top hat ✳️ with a phone📱 can do it.
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Apr 3, 2022 01:47
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Yeah, the hidden pictures is a sock, a thimble, a fan, and then over here is a razor blade, this is a whiskey bottle, and the wheel on this car over here, if you turn it upside down it's a noose.
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Apr 3, 2022 02:21
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| # ? May 13, 2024 14:25 |
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You know…sometimes parents just don’t understand.
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Apr 3, 2022 04:39
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