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i'm a bit shocked that me and none of my friends were ever picked up for trespassing, when i was in high school and college in florida that was like, the number one pastime of lower middle class suburban kids. you just go hang out in the Florida Tech gardens at midnight or go to the beach. literally everything we could do was technically trespassing lol
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Mar 31, 2022 20:12
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| # ? May 5, 2024 00:47 |
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I got arrested a bunch as a young adult, but since I only got caught doing stuff that didn’t involve violence or drugs + being white and middle class nothing happened to me.
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Mar 31, 2022 21:27
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kntfkr posted:when cops die, they go to hell ah, that explains why they're here
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Mar 31, 2022 21:35
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precision posted:i'm a bit shocked that me and none of my friends were ever picked up for trespassing, when i was in high school and college in florida that was like, the number one pastime of lower middle class suburban kids. you just go hang out in the Florida Tech gardens at midnight or go to the beach. literally everything we could do was technically trespassing lol it's illegal to be outside in america
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Mar 31, 2022 22:25
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I got pulled over in my sparkly teal oldmobile alero driving home one night after celebrating April 20th. They ran my plates, got me for expired registration and cuffed me, sat my rear end down in the tall grass on the side of this old country road leading to my place. They smelled the dankness so they started searching my car, I had just moved so the back seat was full with my 'library' of mostly diskworld and Warhammer books. Totally full up, they opened the back door and my fuckin books spilled on the road. They were digging through em, hounding like horny librarians for the source of the smell, stacking up Jingo on to Eisenhorn on to Small Gods on to the Blood Ravens Omnibus. Then they zipped open my backpack and found my paraphernalia, pipe and empty grinder that they put that on the hood of their car while I holding back tears grilled the officer standing above me on the ethics and lawfulness of this search. So now there's three heaps of high fantasy on the road soaking up the humid texas night bug sounds and frog bellows and the red and blue lights of justice. The librarian rummaging in my car shrugs and the cop guarding me pulls me up by my cuffs, unlocks em. we're just standing there looking at eachother, at their meagre trophies on the hood of their cop SUV, at my library, and they tell me to knock it off and leave. I shovel my poo poo back into the backseat and they're just watching me, I get in and drive away leaving my pipe and grinder and dignity with two of Americas finest. I'm white but maybe just because of the sheer weirdness of the situation they gave me a warning about the registration and no charge for the drug paraphernalia. I never got that car registered but I did donate my books to a (very lucky) actual library just a mile down the road from that spot on the roadside.
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Mar 31, 2022 22:32
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precision posted:i'm a bit shocked that me and none of my friends were ever picked up for trespassing, when i was in high school and college in florida that was like, the number one pastime of lower middle class suburban kids. you just go hang out in the Florida Tech gardens at midnight or go to the beach. literally everything we could do was technically trespassing lol I used to do a lot of "UrbEx" when I was younger and snuck into a lot of weird old abandoned buildings to take artsy photos and all that, and I'm not exactly what you'd call stealthy or ninja-like so I'm surprised I never got busted for it. The worst I ever got was an exasperated security guard trying to explain to me I wasn't allowed to be there but apparently my "naive but wellmeaning idiot" act was pretty bulletproof. One time I was awkwardly climbing out of a window at about 3am and a police patrol car rolled up to the intersection right in front of me and stopped at the red light. I froze in place but I was in full sight and the dude only had to glance to his right to spot me but luckily he just drove on when the light changed.
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Mar 31, 2022 23:59
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What a pack of virgins you all are I did 3 days in county for a dui and I'm just glad I didn't hurt anyone. a few posts of mine of mine about it starts here (old thread) https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3827057&userid=0&perpage=40&highlight=Cocktale,Waitress&pagenumber=9#post475751920 Spinz fucked around with this message at 00:49 on Apr 1, 2022 |
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Apr 1, 2022 00:44
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Not me, because I am a ~super~ criminal who has never been caught. I briefly lived in a town with some weirdly decent cops. Threatened to arrest our neighbor because she kept calling the cops on us every time a (black) friend came to visit, made sure my sister avoided a drug bust that would keep her abusive BF locked down while she skipped town, talked down a kid from pulling a gun and attempting suicide by cop... Just a lot of unexpected kindness. Also lived in a bunch of places with poo poo cops, but that's not news.
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Apr 1, 2022 01:01
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I lived in an apartment below some horrible crackheads that were constantly having racially fueled domestic spats. I was working nights and would come home to sleep around 2am and that was usually about the time they were winding up. She would start calling him a "stupid loving n*****" and he would beat the poo poo out of her while she kept talking poo poo. All of this was extremely audible and kept me from sleeping. Anyways, I put up with weeks of this. I would pound on their door, call cops, wake them up in the afternoon out of spite. Nothing happened. More people moved in to their efficiency apartment and the noise grew. There were 7 or 8 constantly using, fighting, coming and going. I came home one night and they had been out in the street arguing. They had thrown beer cans all over the street and trashed the yard of our already disgusting building. I had had enough. I gathered all the cans and went upstairs and start chucking them one by one as hard as I can at their door. I was completely out of control, sleep deprived, and enraged. I was putting dents in the door. I started pounding on the door and screaming "you don't just get to go to sleep", etc. I went outside and started throwing the cans at the side of the building, trying to break their window. Eventually a squad car pulled up and they brought me in. They took an Opinel paring knife off of me that I had for work. I gave them an earful about how they'd been here 4 times and never taken anyone in, how I'd asked them to handle the increasingly drug fueled and violent situation in my building, called them lazy, etc. I spent a good 8 hours in a cell with some guy was coming off heroin who smelled like poo poo. They gave me a mattress and told me to sleep which I refused. I was eventually released and had no fines or charges. I walked from jail to work and started prep for the day on zero sleep. A few months later the neighbours were evicted after a brutal stabbing took place. My other neighbours thought it was me because I was the only one to ever tell them to shut the gently caress up. The entire stairwell was soaked in blood. The landlords ripped up the carpet and poured bleach everywhere. I got the gently caress out of that neighbourhood a few months later.
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Apr 1, 2022 01:35
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holy poo poo
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Apr 1, 2022 01:40
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Nowhere near the worst thing that happened on that street. W 80th and Detroit Ave, Cleveland OH.
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Apr 1, 2022 01:41
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Poohs Packin posted:I lived in an apartment below some horrible crackheads that were constantly having racially fueled domestic spats. I was working nights and would come home to sleep around 2am and that was usually about the time they were winding up. Why did u throw beer cans at my apartment
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Apr 1, 2022 01:43
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Lil Swamp Booger Baby posted:Why did u throw beer cans at my apartment Because I ain't no bitch
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Apr 1, 2022 01:49
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Spinz posted:What a pack of virgins you all are literally what my first story was about lmao
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Apr 1, 2022 03:03
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When I was 22 I was so drunk one night that I accidentally parked my car flat on the bottom of a huge country ditch on the way home, facing the opposite way I had been driving, but in perfect condition like I'd gently set it there with a crane (not so much after the tow truck took 30 min to get it out). The cop from the "don't talk to the police" video came and arrested me. He explained to me that he had 3 hours left in his shift, and if i was chill he'd make it take 3 hours to process me to allow my BAC to fall. I was chill I guess so he took his sweet time and my BAC did not fall, which means it would have gone up if he'd processed me faster. I was .16 on the scene and .16 whenever I finally got tested back at the station so I narrowly avoided double penalties both for being above double drunk and for being more drunk at the station than I was at the scene. And this was right before we changed the law such that I'd have spent two weeks in jail automatically immediately at .16. I spent the night on the floor of the drunk tank, I was probably among the last in and was drunk enough that I slept through all the early drunks leaving the next morning. They released me 2 hours late because I was in the same jail at the same time as the beltway snipers and it was a circus. It cost me about $2 grand in early 2000s dollars to lawyer up and pay for all the fines and bills and dumb classes and counseling I had to do. e: oh, I was there long enough that they served me breakfast. There was a half cup of mountain dew colored juice drink, and some kind of bologna sandwich in a styrofoam box that made me barf when i smelled it It fell off my record a few years ago so I could get a first offense again, if I wanted to ee: one last story, I had to take ASAP (alcohol safety action program) classes for $300. I had to show up on time 5 times in a row, pass a breathalyzer test with a 0 and spend an hour watching 80s health class antidrug videos. If you failed the breathalyzer, you had to go home and sign up again for $300. 90% of the class that started didn't finish because they couldn't show up and blow a 0.0 on five consecutive wednesday afternoons. I was tripping balls because they couldn't test for it lol poverty goat fucked around with this message at 03:26 on Apr 1, 2022 |
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Apr 1, 2022 03:14
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We hung out w a 21 year old in high school bc he could buy us beer and one time he told us how he got arrested for a half pound but the “marijuana testing machine” at the jail was broken so they had no choice but to let him go. I thought it was a coolstory but like 15 years later someone pointed out that he just probably snitched and came up w that Dumbass cover story, ruining my childhood
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Apr 1, 2022 03:34
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BIG-DICK-BUTT-gently caress posted:We hung out w a 21 year old in high school bc he could buy us beer and one time he told us how he got arrested for a half pound but the “marijuana testing machine” at the jail was broken so they had no choice but to let him go. Hello yes I am the marijuana testing machine
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Apr 1, 2022 05:16
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Skeleton Ape posted:Hello yes I am the marijuana testing machine Show me where you broke
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Apr 1, 2022 05:18
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Turrurrurrurrrrrrr posted:Show me where you broke I was asleep
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Apr 1, 2022 05:18
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Skeleton Ape posted:Hello yes I am the marijuana testing machine and i take that job very seriously
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Apr 1, 2022 05:29
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I was brought in with only my underwear. I asked for a ride when my time was up. Instead, I got a pair of sweat pants and floppy shoes. I was walking like this on an interstate highway.
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Apr 1, 2022 07:06
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Apr 1, 2022 07:10
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poverty goat posted:When I was 22 I was so drunk one night that I accidentally parked my car flat on the bottom of a huge country ditch on the way home, facing the opposite way I had been driving, but in perfect condition like I'd gently set it there with a crane (not so much after the tow truck took 30 min to get it out). The cop from the "don't talk to the police" video came and arrested me. He explained to me that he had 3 hours left in his shift, and if i was chill he'd make it take 3 hours to process me to allow my BAC to fall. I was chill I guess so he took his sweet time and my BAC did not fall, which means it would have gone up if he'd processed me faster. I was .16 on the scene and .16 whenever I finally got tested back at the station so I narrowly avoided double penalties both for being above double drunk and for being more drunk at the station than I was at the scene. And this was right before we changed the law such that I'd have spent two weeks in jail automatically immediately at .16. I wish I coulda smelled that bologna sandwich n barfed with u my brother
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Apr 1, 2022 08:25
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Zeluth posted:I was brought in with only my underwear. I asked for a ride when my time was up. Instead, I got a pair of sweat pants and floppy shoes. I was walking like this on an interstate highway. Lol. They took my shoelaces and kicked me out at 1am so I had to walk home 4 miles through the hood, shoes flapping w every step E: actually tell us more about how you ended up getting arrested in your underwear BIG-DICK-BUTT-FUCK fucked around with this message at 10:10 on Apr 1, 2022 |
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Apr 1, 2022 10:08
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I had a friend who was about to get arrested so he took the LSD he had on him, and started tripping after getting booked. He said once he realized that nothing worse could happen to him, he was able to relax and he just stared at the cops from the window for hours
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Apr 1, 2022 10:15
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BIG-DICK-BUTT-gently caress posted:Lol. They took my shoelaces and kicked me out at 1am so I had to walk home 4 miles through the hood, shoes flapping w every step You don't want to hear about the helicopter one? *Shaddap*
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Apr 1, 2022 10:16
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Last story: in high school, a friend of a friend ended up w like 30 glass pipes in one of those eggshell foam cases, I think he knew a glass blower. At the time, paraphernalia charges were $750-1500, so very steep. Instead of using one or two of the pipes and keeping the rest clean, he smoked out of all 30 and ended up w >$20,000 in fines Not sure how that one resolved
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Apr 1, 2022 10:18
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Psst. In here, comrades. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A17rVbNTtrg
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Apr 1, 2022 10:51
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I was arrested by her majestys customs and exercise as part of a sting operation when I was 15 - it was pretty funny and got me something of a reputation at school for being a kind of big shot drug importer even though nothing came of it. Story seems even more stupid looking back at it now. I had agreed to buy a bass guitar off a friend for £220 and he let me take the guitar to use it in my band while I got the money to pay him (was working evenings in a restaurant kitchen for peanuts). It took me a couple of weeks to scrape the money together. I called him one night and agreed to meet him the next day after school at a local bus stop on his way back from college. Nothing dodgy so far right? Next day comes and I'm at the bus stop. While waiting I got talking to some older kids who I knew through skateboarding. We had met several times before and they had taught me how to do tricks etc. We weren't exactly best friends I just knew them vicariously through others. Either way the bus comes but my friend isn't on it, I didn't know why but shrugged and figured he missed the bus. A different guy I didn't know got off the bus and started talking to the kids I was with, it turned out they were waiting for him. As a result we all started walking away from the bus stop together (5 of us) down the road. Suddenly without warning I was tackled from behind and forced to the floor by some bloke shouting "her majestys customs and exercise, you're under arrest" and handcuffed. 15 year old me didn't know what the gently caress was going on. They started searching all of us at the side of the road and found the money I had, guy thought it was suspicious that I had "so much money" which made me argumentative, I think I made a mature and reasonable point by saying "that's my money, I earned every penny of it, and gently caress you pig go die in a fire". Turns out the guy who got off the bus had 9oz of weed on him divided into deal bags. The fuzz assumed I was there to buy off him. Long story short I was booked in and strip searched, my parent house was searched under warrant from top to bottom - they even went nuts digging up parts of the garden where the soil looked disturbed. They found nothing cause there was nothing. I was formally interviewed. They kept me in the interview room for ages and just came in now and again to tell how bad the situation was and how I'd just messed up my life. Eventually they started the formal interview and this guy came in and just sat and stared at me. He looked me up and down with a smirk on his face. He then said "do you recognise me?" to which I said "no". He then pulled out some sunglasses, put them on and said "what about now? 😎" I just pissed myself laughing. No I didn't know him, hadn't seen him before. If this was his power move it made him look like a bellend. So I made sure I told him. He did not like this snotty nosed kid openly laughing in his face while calling him names. He then told me he had me under surveillance for weeks and knew I was dealing, he could prove it and I must be shifting a lot of gear cause these guys don't get involved unless it's a big deal. I laughed the whole time. He then pulled out a bunch of printed photographs that he had taken of me buying and selling drugs and spread them on the desk with a kind 'checkmate' look on his smug face. I took a quick look down and then started howling with laughter - none of the pictures were of me, just some other kid with long hair. I wasted no opportunity asking him how long he trained to be an undercover surveillance officer and if they taught "rear end in a top hat and elbow recognition skills" on the course. Eventually they ended the interview and brought me back in the cell until I was released the next morning. No charges, no nothing. My dad picked me up and he was furious at me. Furious I had been caught. He lectured me all the way home about being careful and watching out for undercover narcs. Told me to keep poo poo discreet and don't meet in public places with people who are known to the police and are liabailitys. Pick my friends better and get them to meet the dealer - keep your nose clean and your powder dry. I learnt a lot about my dad that day and a history I didn't know he had. I went to school and word had got around and suddenly I was the next Pablo Escabar. Meh whatever I guess.
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Apr 1, 2022 13:47
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Lol k
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Apr 1, 2022 13:57
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Guy I knew got caught for murder because he kept telling strangers increasingly bizarre and elaborate stories about his wife dying from brain cancer until one couple just reported him to the cops and he immediately cracked.
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Apr 1, 2022 14:03
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BIG-DICK-BUTT-gently caress posted:I had a friend who was about to get arrested so he took the LSD he had on him, and started tripping after getting booked. He said once he realized that nothing worse could happen to him, he was able to relax and he just stared at the cops from the window for hours that's a tough one. having been arrested twice and taken acid a bunch i think it would go one of two ways for me - "oh, well, i'm in a place that's basically safe and warm and stuff. i can just lie down if i really want to. what even is prison, really?" - "i'm in a box and i cannot get out. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA"
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Apr 1, 2022 16:06
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precision posted:that's a tough one. having been arrested twice and taken acid a bunch i think it would go one of two ways for me Getting arrested is like getting too high. Worst case scenario, just sleep until it's over.
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Apr 1, 2022 16:22
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it can't be worse than a phish concert, and people trip at those willingly somehow
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Apr 1, 2022 18:11
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My friend and I bought a car in the midwest and proceeded to roadtrip the thing all the way back to California. It was an amazing trip, however at the tail end of the trip we were in Utah or Arizona, I forgot which and in some stupid rear end small town that no one gives a poo poo about. The highway basically blurred into the main road of the town so the speed limit dropped down to 45 and my friend was doing like 60. We get pulled over and the cop gives us the whole "You know why I pulled you over?" We explain no and he explains, aggressively, that we were speeding. The cop also gets pretty close to the window and sniffs and goes, "It smells like weed in here." The dude is a small town no name and obviously doesn't know what the gently caress weed smells like because the only smells coming out of the car were body odor and trash because we were basically living out of a 2 seater for 4 days with only 2 hotel stops and spending 10~ hours on the road a day. We were rank as gently caress and had a bag filled with trash and wrappers so unless this dude only knows the nastiest weed ever I have no clue what the gently caress he was talking about. He also threatens to jail us and impound the car because it's tags are expired and apparently my friend didn't transfer his insurance over to the vehicle so we travelled half of the US without any insurance. Luckily the cop was just like, "Stay on this road and keep going until you're out of my town, if I see you again I'm arresting you." I guess it wouldn't have been worth the effort to book us or something. I don't know.
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Apr 1, 2022 18:31
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Das Boo posted:Guy I knew got caught for murder because he kept telling strangers increasingly bizarre and elaborate stories about his wife dying from brain cancer until one couple just reported him to the cops and he immediately cracked. Guy I knew in highschool got put away for attempted murder because he drove a hearse with the back windows blocked by cardboard and was shocked to get pulled over when he had his roofied victim and a forged suicide note in the car.
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Apr 1, 2022 19:51
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if a cop doesn't gently caress with you it's because they need to poop
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Apr 1, 2022 20:01
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cross post from the selfie thread kntfkr posted:got dog searched by 4 pigs this morning for being "nervous" after getting pulled over for being on the phone with my boss when I pulled out of a parking lot
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Apr 1, 2022 20:23
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A tall drunk guy fell on me in the middle of a crosswalk and I couldn't get him off me because he kept trying to use me to stand back up. A cop car rolled up and I knocked on the front bumper because the light was changing and I wasn't any closer to getting free and we got dragged to the corner and had to sit against the wall for about half an hour. I got spat on and called something I don't care to remember by a woman walking by but other than that it was a grand old time. I get a court date which I attended where I also wasn't allowed to explain anything other than yes/no questions and got marched over to a register where I was informed I could "plead down" to something worth $60 to them.
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Apr 1, 2022 21:27
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| # ? May 5, 2024 00:47 |
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I took six shots of rumple minz and while walking home uprooted a six foot giraffe from a paper mache Noah's Ark exhibit that was in the running for ART PRIZE which is the DeVos family's yearly "art" popularity contest and I was the first person ever caught vandalizing it so they really wanted to throw the book at me but I sold a bunch of warhammer miniatures and got a good lawyer and got misdemeanor malicious destruction of property but there was nothing malicious i just wanted to bring the giraffe home https://www.mlive.com/news/grand-rapids/2013/10/police_find_man_woman_walking.html e: i got to make out with a girl in the back of a cop car handcuffed
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Apr 1, 2022 21:34
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