Heather Papps posted:

i read once that an early human smoked a weed and then invented agriculture and look where that got us

Dr. Honked posted:

4) smoke weed errday 420 blaze it mfers

Nosfereefer posted:

Escape From Noise posted:

Haha! I get it, OP. Green Goblin!

Moo Cowabunga posted:

Buttchocks posted:

Weed only grows on the graves of people who died from smoking weed. Will your body fertilize the crop of tomorrow?

Moo Cowabunga posted:

true story someone called the cops many years ago and said that my dad was growing dope and when the cops came with a search warrant they found two of the stringiest wee dope plants he had so carefully hid from his dumb rear end teenage child [me]. the cops laughed at my dad for the pathetic grow and left [with the dope]. I think one said something about kids being able to grow better dope than that.

it was scary because I thought the cops were going to put my dad in jail and it was bad because they ended up just laughing at my dad’s attempt to grow his own.

and from that moment on, because of the shame upon my family, I never smoked again

bad guy posted:

Puff Puff Pass

There was once an evil old lady and she had an evil old husband.

One day the evil old lady died. "Bury me with my weed" said the evil old lady.

"But you don't need it. Can't I smoke it instead?" asked the evil old husband.

"No. I want to have it so you can't have it" she said, evilly.

Well wouldn't you know it, some time after that, the evil old husband died.

"Now that he's gone I can finally smoke this weed," the evil old lady said. The weed she meant was her burial weed.

It was late at night when the evil old lady decided to smoke her weed. After one puff, she heard a tiny sound.

"Must be a mouse," she said to herself. Then she thought evil thoughts about the mouse.

She took another puff. Now she could hear a faint voice saying "puuffff pufffff passssss."

"Must be the ghost of my dumb rear end husband," she said.

She smoked some more. It began to rain and thunder outside. Behind the thunder she could hear a angry voice yelling "PUFFFFF PUFFFFF PASSSSSSS."

"This is my weed," she said to herself, "and I can smoke it, on account of I outlived that sour old coot."

There was a loud knock on the door.

"It's probably my dead husband," she thought. "Better get it."

But it wasn't. It was the cops.

"Someone called us." The cops said. "He had a ghostly voice. He said a person was smoking weed in this shack."

"That would be me" replied the evil old woman, "But it's legal now. It's been legal for years."

"That's true. We didn't come to arrest you, we came to smoke weed with you."

So the evil old lady had to smoke weed with the cops, which was the most unpleasant thing in the world, and every time she would try to smoke weed, they would show up and smoke most of her weed and tell boring cop stories, and that was how the evil old man got his revenge.

bad guy posted:

Puff Puff Pass

There was once an evil old lady and she had an evil old husband.

One day the evil old lady died. "Bury me with my weed" said the evil old lady.

"But you don't need it. Can't I smoke it instead?" asked the evil old husband.

"No. I want to have it so you can't have it" she said, evilly.

Well wouldn't you know it, some time after that, the evil old husband died.

"Now that he's gone I can finally smoke this weed," the evil old lady said. The weed she meant was her burial weed.

It was late at night when the evil old lady decided to smoke her weed. After one puff, she heard a tiny sound.

"Must be a mouse," she said to herself. Then she thought evil thoughts about the mouse.

She took another puff. Now she could hear a faint voice saying "puuffff pufffff passssss."

"Must be the ghost of my dumb rear end husband," she said.

She smoked some more. It began to rain and thunder outside. Behind the thunder she could hear a angry voice yelling "PUFFFFF PUFFFFF PASSSSSSS."

"This is my weed," she said to herself, "and I can smoke it, on account of I outlived that sour old coot."

There was a loud knock on the door.

"It's probably my dead husband," she thought. "Better get it."

But it wasn't. It was the cops.

"Someone called us." The cops said. "He had a ghostly voice. He said a person was smoking weed in this shack."

"That would be me" replied the evil old woman, "But it's legal now. It's been legal for years."

"That's true. We didn't come to arrest you, we came to smoke weed with you."

So the evil old lady had to smoke weed with the cops, which was the most unpleasant thing in the world, and every time she would try to smoke weed, they would show up and smoke most of her weed and tell boring cop stories, and that was how the evil old man got his revenge.

Armitag3 posted:

Now do The Fall of the House of Kusher

Armitag3 posted:

Now do The Fall of the House of Kusher

bad guy posted:

Puff Puff Pass

There was once an evil old lady and she had an evil old husband.

One day the evil old lady died. "Bury me with my weed" said the evil old lady.

"But you don't need it. Can't I smoke it instead?" asked the evil old husband.

"No. I want to have it so you can't have it" she said, evilly.

Well wouldn't you know it, some time after that, the evil old husband died.

"Now that he's gone I can finally smoke this weed," the evil old lady said. The weed she meant was her burial weed.

It was late at night when the evil old lady decided to smoke her weed. After one puff, she heard a tiny sound.

"Must be a mouse," she said to herself. Then she thought evil thoughts about the mouse.

She took another puff. Now she could hear a faint voice saying "puuffff pufffff passssss."

"Must be the ghost of my dumb rear end husband," she said.

She smoked some more. It began to rain and thunder outside. Behind the thunder she could hear a angry voice yelling "PUFFFFF PUFFFFF PASSSSSSS."

"This is my weed," she said to herself, "and I can smoke it, on account of I outlived that sour old coot."

There was a loud knock on the door.

"It's probably my dead husband," she thought. "Better get it."

But it wasn't. It was the cops.

"Someone called us." The cops said. "He had a ghostly voice. He said a person was smoking weed in this shack."

"That would be me" replied the evil old woman, "But it's legal now. It's been legal for years."

"That's true. We didn't come to arrest you, we came to smoke weed with you."

So the evil old lady had to smoke weed with the cops, which was the most unpleasant thing in the world, and every time she would try to smoke weed, they would show up and smoke most of her weed and tell boring cop stories, and that was how the evil old man got his revenge.

Buttchocks posted:

If you say "marijuana" five times while looking in a mirror, nothing happens and you just feel disappointed and foolish.

bad guy posted:

Puff Puff Pass

There was once an evil old lady and she had an evil old husband.

One day the evil old lady died. "Bury me with my weed" said the evil old lady.

"But you don't need it. Can't I smoke it instead?" asked the evil old husband.

"No. I want to have it so you can't have it" she said, evilly.

Well wouldn't you know it, some time after that, the evil old husband died.

"Now that he's gone I can finally smoke this weed," the evil old lady said. The weed she meant was her burial weed.

It was late at night when the evil old lady decided to smoke her weed. After one puff, she heard a tiny sound.

"Must be a mouse," she said to herself. Then she thought evil thoughts about the mouse.

She took another puff. Now she could hear a faint voice saying "puuffff pufffff passssss."

"Must be the ghost of my dumb rear end husband," she said.

She smoked some more. It began to rain and thunder outside. Behind the thunder she could hear a angry voice yelling "PUFFFFF PUFFFFF PASSSSSSS."

"This is my weed," she said to herself, "and I can smoke it, on account of I outlived that sour old coot."

There was a loud knock on the door.

"It's probably my dead husband," she thought. "Better get it."

But it wasn't. It was the cops.

"Someone called us." The cops said. "He had a ghostly voice. He said a person was smoking weed in this shack."

"That would be me" replied the evil old woman, "But it's legal now. It's been legal for years."

"That's true. We didn't come to arrest you, we came to smoke weed with you."

So the evil old lady had to smoke weed with the cops, which was the most unpleasant thing in the world, and every time she would try to smoke weed, they would show up and smoke most of her weed and tell boring cop stories, and that was how the evil old man got his revenge.

your friend sk posted:

i just ate a paper bag full of tortilla chips from the good mexican place

bad guy posted:

Puff Puff Pass

There was once an evil old lady and she had an evil old husband.

One day the evil old lady died. "Bury me with my weed" said the evil old lady.

"But you don't need it. Can't I smoke it instead?" asked the evil old husband.

"No. I want to have it so you can't have it" she said, evilly.

Well wouldn't you know it, some time after that, the evil old husband died.

"Now that he's gone I can finally smoke this weed," the evil old lady said. The weed she meant was her burial weed.

It was late at night when the evil old lady decided to smoke her weed. After one puff, she heard a tiny sound.

"Must be a mouse," she said to herself. Then she thought evil thoughts about the mouse.

She took another puff. Now she could hear a faint voice saying "puuffff pufffff passssss."

"Must be the ghost of my dumb rear end husband," she said.

She smoked some more. It began to rain and thunder outside. Behind the thunder she could hear a angry voice yelling "PUFFFFF PUFFFFF PASSSSSSS."

"This is my weed," she said to herself, "and I can smoke it, on account of I outlived that sour old coot."

There was a loud knock on the door.

"It's probably my dead husband," she thought. "Better get it."

But it wasn't. It was the cops.

"Someone called us." The cops said. "He had a ghostly voice. He said a person was smoking weed in this shack."

"That would be me" replied the evil old woman, "But it's legal now. It's been legal for years."

"That's true. We didn't come to arrest you, we came to smoke weed with you."

So the evil old lady had to smoke weed with the cops, which was the most unpleasant thing in the world, and every time she would try to smoke weed, they would show up and smoke most of her weed and tell boring cop stories, and that was how the evil old man got his revenge.

Bluedeanie posted:

It was about dusk, one evening during the supreme madness of the 4/20 outdoor music festival season, that I encountered my friend. He accosted me with excessive warmth, for he had been smoking much. The man wore motley. He had on a tie-died Sublime shirt, and his head was surmounted by the baggy oversized beanie. I was so pleased to see him that I thought I should never have done wringing his hand.

I said to him --"My dear Fortunato, you are luckily met. How remarkably well you are looking to-day. But I have received a quarter of what passes for White Rhino, and I have my doubts."

"How, bro?" said he. "White Rhino? A quarter? Impossible! And in the middle of the Midwest!"

"I have my doubts," said I, "And I was silly enough to pay dispo prices from a music fest weedman without consulting you first. You were not to be found, and I was fearful of losing a bargain."

"gently caress yeah bro let's rip that poo poo," said he.

"Come, our time is precious and the Pink Floyd cover band is coming up and I don't wanna miss that poo poo. My apartment is down the block."

"Smoke," I told him, handing him the pipe after he sat on my couch. He raised it to his lips with a smirk. I was just grateful this was the longest he had gone since I ran into him earlier without talking to me about the time he tried salvia in high school.

"This apartment..." he said, between coughs, "is nice. I dig your blacklight reactive Primus poster bro." He began to zone out at the poster, much as I had planned, and he then fell asleep after only half a bowl, because it actually was White Rhino and that poo poo is fuckin gas.

And so I went about my work. I fuckin hated Fortunato, he was really annoying and always trying to bum rides off me and always asks me for a cigarette any time he is hanging out in front of the gas station he works at when I go to get gatorade, like dude you work at the gas station just buy your own newports what the gently caress we're like 30 now. and so I began walling him up inside my apartment. by the time he would wake up he would be stuck in here, and the rent is due in three days so he will have to pay it and also he will miss the govt mule set tonight that i know he was looking forward to, which is a little extra petty considering i am tricking him into being stuck paying for my rent but i mean i did stock the fridge with hot pockets and root beer and i am leaving him the rest of this quarter which i think is fair when you think about it.

by the time i was sealing in the last few bricks, he began to rouse from his slumber.

"bro why are you walling us up in your apartment" he said, smacking his lips from cottonmouth and sleep breath

I looked down and i walled myself in on the wrong side

"poo poo" i said. "gently caress. god drat it

Bluedeanie posted:

It was about dusk, one evening during the supreme madness of the 4/20 outdoor music festival season, that I encountered my friend. He accosted me with excessive warmth, for he had been smoking much. The man wore motley. He had on a tie-died Sublime shirt, and his head was surmounted by the baggy oversized beanie. I was so pleased to see him that I thought I should never have done wringing his hand.

I said to him --"My dear Fortunato, you are luckily met. How remarkably well you are looking to-day. But I have received a quarter of what passes for White Rhino, and I have my doubts."

"How, bro?" said he. "White Rhino? A quarter? Impossible! And in the middle of the Midwest!"

"I have my doubts," said I, "And I was silly enough to pay dispo prices from a music fest weedman without consulting you first. You were not to be found, and I was fearful of losing a bargain."

"gently caress yeah bro let's rip that poo poo," said he.

"Come, our time is precious and the Pink Floyd cover band is coming up and I don't wanna miss that poo poo. My apartment is down the block."

"Smoke," I told him, handing him the pipe after he sat on my couch. He raised it to his lips with a smirk. I was just grateful this was the longest he had gone since I ran into him earlier without talking to me about the time he tried salvia in high school.

"This apartment..." he said, between coughs, "is nice. I dig your blacklight reactive Primus poster bro." He began to zone out at the poster, much as I had planned, and he then fell asleep after only half a bowl, because it actually was White Rhino and that poo poo is fuckin gas.

And so I went about my work. I fuckin hated Fortunato, he was really annoying and always trying to bum rides off me and always asks me for a cigarette any time he is hanging out in front of the gas station he works at when I go to get gatorade, like dude you work at the gas station just buy your own newports what the gently caress we're like 30 now. and so I began walling him up inside my apartment. by the time he would wake up he would be stuck in here, and the rent is due in three days so he will have to pay it and also he will miss the govt mule set tonight that i know he was looking forward to, which is a little extra petty considering i am tricking him into being stuck paying for my rent but i mean i did stock the fridge with hot pockets and root beer and i am leaving him the rest of this quarter which i think is fair when you think about it.

by the time i was sealing in the last few bricks, he began to rouse from his slumber.

"bro why are you walling us up in your apartment" he said, smacking his lips from cottonmouth and sleep breath

I looked down and i walled myself in on the wrong side

"poo poo" i said. "gently caress. god drat it

Escape From Noise posted:

Are You Afraid of the Dank?

bad guy posted:

everybody jokes about ha ha remember that one time we ate the brownies and thought we were dying, like thinking your dying is just a normal part of life or something that doesn't have long term traumatic effects.

Space Taxi posted:

Weed has permanently tarnished the upstanding reputation of brownies

Bluedeanie posted:

It was about dusk, one evening during the supreme madness of the 4/20 outdoor music festival season, that I encountered my friend. He accosted me with excessive warmth, for he had been smoking much. The man wore motley. He had on a tie-died Sublime shirt, and his head was surmounted by the baggy oversized beanie. I was so pleased to see him that I thought I should never have done wringing his hand.

I said to him --"My dear Fortunato, you are luckily met. How remarkably well you are looking to-day. But I have received a quarter of what passes for White Rhino, and I have my doubts."

"How, bro?" said he. "White Rhino? A quarter? Impossible! And in the middle of the Midwest!"

"I have my doubts," said I, "And I was silly enough to pay dispo prices from a music fest weedman without consulting you first. You were not to be found, and I was fearful of losing a bargain."

"gently caress yeah bro let's rip that poo poo," said he.

"Come, our time is precious and the Pink Floyd cover band is coming up and I don't wanna miss that poo poo. My apartment is down the block."

"Smoke," I told him, handing him the pipe after he sat on my couch. He raised it to his lips with a smirk. I was just grateful this was the longest he had gone since I ran into him earlier without talking to me about the time he tried salvia in high school.

"This apartment..." he said, between coughs, "is nice. I dig your blacklight reactive Primus poster bro." He began to zone out at the poster, much as I had planned, and he then fell asleep after only half a bowl, because it actually was White Rhino and that poo poo is fuckin gas.

And so I went about my work. I fuckin hated Fortunato, he was really annoying and always trying to bum rides off me and always asks me for a cigarette any time he is hanging out in front of the gas station he works at when I go to get gatorade, like dude you work at the gas station just buy your own newports what the gently caress we're like 30 now. and so I began walling him up inside my apartment. by the time he would wake up he would be stuck in here, and the rent is due in three days so he will have to pay it and also he will miss the govt mule set tonight that i know he was looking forward to, which is a little extra petty considering i am tricking him into being stuck paying for my rent but i mean i did stock the fridge with hot pockets and root beer and i am leaving him the rest of this quarter which i think is fair when you think about it.

by the time i was sealing in the last few bricks, he began to rouse from his slumber.

"bro why are you walling us up in your apartment" he said, smacking his lips from cottonmouth and sleep breath

I looked down and i walled myself in on the wrong side

"poo poo" i said. "gently caress. god drat it

Nosfereefer posted:

we decided that weed was unbyob one day, and i guess we forgot to undo that

Bluedeanie posted:

It was about dusk, one evening during the supreme madness of the 4/20 outdoor music festival season, that I encountered my friend. He accosted me with excessive warmth, for he had been smoking much. The man wore motley. He had on a tie-died Sublime shirt, and his head was surmounted by the baggy oversized beanie. I was so pleased to see him that I thought I should never have done wringing his hand.

I said to him --"My dear Fortunato, you are luckily met. How remarkably well you are looking to-day. But I have received a quarter of what passes for White Rhino, and I have my doubts."

"How, bro?" said he. "White Rhino? A quarter? Impossible! And in the middle of the Midwest!"

"I have my doubts," said I, "And I was silly enough to pay dispo prices from a music fest weedman without consulting you first. You were not to be found, and I was fearful of losing a bargain."

"gently caress yeah bro let's rip that poo poo," said he.

"Come, our time is precious and the Pink Floyd cover band is coming up and I don't wanna miss that poo poo. My apartment is down the block."

"Smoke," I told him, handing him the pipe after he sat on my couch. He raised it to his lips with a smirk. I was just grateful this was the longest he had gone since I ran into him earlier without talking to me about the time he tried salvia in high school.

"This apartment..." he said, between coughs, "is nice. I dig your blacklight reactive Primus poster bro." He began to zone out at the poster, much as I had planned, and he then fell asleep after only half a bowl, because it actually was White Rhino and that poo poo is fuckin gas.

And so I went about my work. I fuckin hated Fortunato, he was really annoying and always trying to bum rides off me and always asks me for a cigarette any time he is hanging out in front of the gas station he works at when I go to get gatorade, like dude you work at the gas station just buy your own newports what the gently caress we're like 30 now. and so I began walling him up inside my apartment. by the time he would wake up he would be stuck in here, and the rent is due in three days so he will have to pay it and also he will miss the govt mule set tonight that i know he was looking forward to, which is a little extra petty considering i am tricking him into being stuck paying for my rent but i mean i did stock the fridge with hot pockets and root beer and i am leaving him the rest of this quarter which i think is fair when you think about it.

by the time i was sealing in the last few bricks, he began to rouse from his slumber.

"bro why are you walling us up in your apartment" he said, smacking his lips from cottonmouth and sleep breath

I looked down and i walled myself in on the wrong side

"poo poo" i said. "gently caress. god drat it

Bluedeanie posted:

It was about dusk, one evening during the supreme madness of the 4/20 outdoor music festival season, that I encountered my friend. He accosted me with excessive warmth, for he had been smoking much. The man wore motley. He had on a tie-died Sublime shirt, and his head was surmounted by the baggy oversized beanie. I was so pleased to see him that I thought I should never have done wringing his hand.

I said to him --"My dear Fortunato, you are luckily met. How remarkably well you are looking to-day. But I have received a quarter of what passes for White Rhino, and I have my doubts."

"How, bro?" said he. "White Rhino? A quarter? Impossible! And in the middle of the Midwest!"

"I have my doubts," said I, "And I was silly enough to pay dispo prices from a music fest weedman without consulting you first. You were not to be found, and I was fearful of losing a bargain."

"gently caress yeah bro let's rip that poo poo," said he.

"Come, our time is precious and the Pink Floyd cover band is coming up and I don't wanna miss that poo poo. My apartment is down the block."

"Smoke," I told him, handing him the pipe after he sat on my couch. He raised it to his lips with a smirk. I was just grateful this was the longest he had gone since I ran into him earlier without talking to me about the time he tried salvia in high school.

"This apartment..." he said, between coughs, "is nice. I dig your blacklight reactive Primus poster bro." He began to zone out at the poster, much as I had planned, and he then fell asleep after only half a bowl, because it actually was White Rhino and that poo poo is fuckin gas.

And so I went about my work. I fuckin hated Fortunato, he was really annoying and always trying to bum rides off me and always asks me for a cigarette any time he is hanging out in front of the gas station he works at when I go to get gatorade, like dude you work at the gas station just buy your own newports what the gently caress we're like 30 now. and so I began walling him up inside my apartment. by the time he would wake up he would be stuck in here, and the rent is due in three days so he will have to pay it and also he will miss the govt mule set tonight that i know he was looking forward to, which is a little extra petty considering i am tricking him into being stuck paying for my rent but i mean i did stock the fridge with hot pockets and root beer and i am leaving him the rest of this quarter which i think is fair when you think about it.

by the time i was sealing in the last few bricks, he began to rouse from his slumber.

"bro why are you walling us up in your apartment" he said, smacking his lips from cottonmouth and sleep breath

I looked down and i walled myself in on the wrong side

"poo poo" i said. "gently caress. god drat it

Bluedeanie posted:

It was about dusk, one evening during the supreme madness of the 4/20 outdoor music festival season, that I encountered my friend. He accosted me with excessive warmth, for he had been smoking much. The man wore motley. He had on a tie-died Sublime shirt, and his head was surmounted by the baggy oversized beanie. I was so pleased to see him that I thought I should never have done wringing his hand.

I said to him --"My dear Fortunato, you are luckily met. How remarkably well you are looking to-day. But I have received a quarter of what passes for White Rhino, and I have my doubts."

"How, bro?" said he. "White Rhino? A quarter? Impossible! And in the middle of the Midwest!"

"I have my doubts," said I, "And I was silly enough to pay dispo prices from a music fest weedman without consulting you first. You were not to be found, and I was fearful of losing a bargain."

"gently caress yeah bro let's rip that poo poo," said he.

"Come, our time is precious and the Pink Floyd cover band is coming up and I don't wanna miss that poo poo. My apartment is down the block."

"Smoke," I told him, handing him the pipe after he sat on my couch. He raised it to his lips with a smirk. I was just grateful this was the longest he had gone since I ran into him earlier without talking to me about the time he tried salvia in high school.

"This apartment..." he said, between coughs, "is nice. I dig your blacklight reactive Primus poster bro." He began to zone out at the poster, much as I had planned, and he then fell asleep after only half a bowl, because it actually was White Rhino and that poo poo is fuckin gas.

And so I went about my work. I fuckin hated Fortunato, he was really annoying and always trying to bum rides off me and always asks me for a cigarette any time he is hanging out in front of the gas station he works at when I go to get gatorade, like dude you work at the gas station just buy your own newports what the gently caress we're like 30 now. and so I began walling him up inside my apartment. by the time he would wake up he would be stuck in here, and the rent is due in three days so he will have to pay it and also he will miss the govt mule set tonight that i know he was looking forward to, which is a little extra petty considering i am tricking him into being stuck paying for my rent but i mean i did stock the fridge with hot pockets and root beer and i am leaving him the rest of this quarter which i think is fair when you think about it.

by the time i was sealing in the last few bricks, he began to rouse from his slumber.

"bro why are you walling us up in your apartment" he said, smacking his lips from cottonmouth and sleep breath

I looked down and i walled myself in on the wrong side

"poo poo" i said. "gently caress. god drat it