Bluedeanie posted:

It was about dusk, one evening during the supreme madness of the 4/20 outdoor music festival season, that I encountered my friend. He accosted me with excessive warmth, for he had been smoking much. The man wore motley. He had on a tie-died Sublime shirt, and his head was surmounted by the baggy oversized beanie. I was so pleased to see him that I thought I should never have done wringing his hand.

I said to him --"My dear Fortunato, you are luckily met. How remarkably well you are looking to-day. But I have received a quarter of what passes for White Rhino, and I have my doubts."

"How, bro?" said he. "White Rhino? A quarter? Impossible! And in the middle of the Midwest!"

"I have my doubts," said I, "And I was silly enough to pay dispo prices from a music fest weedman without consulting you first. You were not to be found, and I was fearful of losing a bargain."

"gently caress yeah bro let's rip that poo poo," said he.

"Come, our time is precious and the Pink Floyd cover band is coming up and I don't wanna miss that poo poo. My apartment is down the block."

"Smoke," I told him, handing him the pipe after he sat on my couch. He raised it to his lips with a smirk. I was just grateful this was the longest he had gone since I ran into him earlier without talking to me about the time he tried salvia in high school.

"This apartment..." he said, between coughs, "is nice. I dig your blacklight reactive Primus poster bro." He began to zone out at the poster, much as I had planned, and he then fell asleep after only half a bowl, because it actually was White Rhino and that poo poo is fuckin gas.

And so I went about my work. I fuckin hated Fortunato, he was really annoying and always trying to bum rides off me and always asks me for a cigarette any time he is hanging out in front of the gas station he works at when I go to get gatorade, like dude you work at the gas station just buy your own newports what the gently caress we're like 30 now. and so I began walling him up inside my apartment. by the time he would wake up he would be stuck in here, and the rent is due in three days so he will have to pay it and also he will miss the govt mule set tonight that i know he was looking forward to, which is a little extra petty considering i am tricking him into being stuck paying for my rent but i mean i did stock the fridge with hot pockets and root beer and i am leaving him the rest of this quarter which i think is fair when you think about it.

by the time i was sealing in the last few bricks, he began to rouse from his slumber.

"bro why are you walling us up in your apartment" he said, smacking his lips from cottonmouth and sleep breath

I looked down and i walled myself in on the wrong side

"poo poo" i said. "gently caress. god drat it