Register a SA Forums Account here!
JOINING THE SA FORUMS WILL REMOVE THIS BIG AD, THE ANNOYING UNDERLINED ADS, AND STUPID INTERSTITIAL ADS!!!

You can: log in, read the tech support FAQ, or request your lost password. This dumb message (and those ads) will appear on every screen until you register! Get rid of this crap by registering your own SA Forums Account and joining roughly 150,000 Goons, for the one-time price of $9.95! We charge money because it costs us money per month for bills, and since we don't believe in showing ads to our users, we try to make the money back through forum registrations.
 
  • Post
  • Reply
BigBadSteve
Apr 29, 2009

Simple. The cavemen tore the stalagmites out of the ground so they didn't accidentally sit on them. Because there's nothing worse than a cold stalagmite up the rear end.

I expect an honorary degree for this finding.

Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

Luvcow
Jul 1, 2007

One day nearer spring

quote:

Though the researchers aren’t sure of the purpose of these ring structures, their analysis showed they were made from similarly sized pieces of stalagmites, suggesting the construction was carefully planned, they said. That discovery, along with traces of fire activity, suggest the builders (likely Neanderthals) had complex social behaviors. In addition the structures may have been used to enclose fires.
https://www.livescience.com/54904-photos-neanderthals-created-cave-ring-structures.html

quote:

The round structures were discovered in Bruniquel Cave in South-West France. The stalagmites had been chopped to similar lengths and laid out in two oval patterns up to 40cm (16in) high.
https://www.bbc.com/news/science-environment-36381786


interesting post op, not finding much about it since 2016.

GolfHole
Feb 26, 2004

imagine being too fuckin dumb to build a house so you have to live in a cave lmao

Tree Bucket
Apr 1, 2016

R.I.P.idura leucophrys

GolfHole posted:

imagine being too fuckin dumb to build a house so you have to live in a cave lmao

I'm astonished at this doctrine.

Animal-Mother
Feb 14, 2012

RABBIT RABBIT
RABBIT RABBIT

Tree Bucket posted:

I'm astonished at this doctrine.

truckin and fuckin
is in my cave

DemonToadGoat
Jan 12, 2015

It looks like a pub if I've ever seen one.

DemonToadGoat
Jan 12, 2015

BigBadSteve posted:

Simple. The cavemen tore the stalagmites out of the ground so they didn't accidentally sit on them. Because there's nothing worse than a cold stalagmite up the rear end.

I expect an honorary degree for this finding.

Emptyquote

Blurry Gray Thing
Jun 3, 2009
I am an expert in Neanderthal religion. The stalagmites represent penises. This really shouldn't come as a surprise. A modern human is always quick to notice when something created by random and natural processes resembles a face, a boob, or a cock. Neanderthals were no different.

With that in mind, it is pretty easy to divine the purpose of this structure: the symbolic penises are stacked in a circle around the sacred flame as an offering to their ever cock-hungry divinity, also known as OP's mom.

worm girl
Feb 12, 2022

Can you hear it too?
Sorry it was actually me who built this.

Zil
Jun 4, 2011

Satanically Summoned Citrus


Couldn't it just have been some bored kids in the middle ages?

Prokhor Zakharov
Dec 31, 2008

This is me as I make another great post


Good luck with your depression!
thats where neanderthals went to do their grossest smelliest farts op

naem
May 29, 2011

https://youtube.com/shorts/PE0vmzJq_Cs?feature=share

DrSunshine
Mar 23, 2009

Did I just say that out loud~~?!!!
What do you wanna bet one of those researchers tried putting one of them up their rear end?

Noblesse Obliged
Apr 7, 2012

the real fascinating thing to me is why people with degrees insist on assigning cultural significance to everything ancient people did when clearly modern ones just to random poo poo for no reason 95% of the time

Noblesse Obliged
Apr 7, 2012

they found the cave where a somethingawful posters ancestor autistically lined up rocks and assume religion must be the reason

Caesar Saladin
Aug 15, 2004

yeah gosh i can't imagine why they would want to go in the magical cave of buttplugs and dildos

Prawned
Oct 25, 2010

Big Beef City posted:

Probably one of them whale milking pens I've been hearing about

Neanderthal star citizen

Funky See Funky Do
Aug 20, 2013
STILL TRYING HARD
I have this dream where I'm in a very narrow tunnel that I have to crawl on all fours to move down. It seems to go on forever. Down and down and down it goes until I reach the end where there is a small chamber full of bones and at the centre of it is a perfectly spherical smooth black rock about as wide and as high as my arms outstretched - way too big to fit through the tunnel I came in from.

I hope someone finds something like that one day. That would be interesting.

Devils Affricate
Jan 22, 2010
That's where they teleported the gently caress outta here, OP

Big Beef City
Aug 15, 2013

More like neanderth-some dumb mother fuckers

Yaldabaoth
Oct 9, 2012

by Azathoth

Noblesse Obliged posted:

the real fascinating thing to me is why people with degrees insist on assigning cultural significance to everything ancient people did when clearly modern ones just to random poo poo for no reason 95% of the time

Some people want to believe that ancient humans fit the "Magical Black Person" archetype. It's like the complete opposite of people who think ancient humans were complete dumbfucks who needed aliens to build everything for them.

Big Beef City
Aug 15, 2013

What if they quite literally were magical black people though

Big Beef City
Aug 15, 2013

I mean that would be pretty cool you go back in time and expect to see Og the museum set piece in his mammoth onesie and instead it's Gal El Sook the eldritch rocking a loving wizard robe and a stalactite staff calling down the thunder

Yaldabaoth
Oct 9, 2012

by Azathoth

Big Beef City posted:

What if they quite literally were magical black people though

Then the Nation of Islam was right all along.

Mooey Cow
Jan 27, 2018

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
Pillbug
Imagine being outsmarted by a neanderthal

naem
May 29, 2011

Devils Affricate
Jan 22, 2010
People must have been eating poo poo tons of mammoths if they were making their homes out of mammoth bones instead of trees

Yaldabaoth
Oct 9, 2012

by Azathoth

Devils Affricate posted:

People must have been eating poo poo tons of mammoths if they were making their homes out of mammoth bones instead of trees

The real reason there was a human bottleneck 70,000 years ago was due to massive environmental collapse caused by humans killing and eating everything in sight. Humanity would have died out if they hadn't invented farming out of desperation.

Asterite34
May 19, 2009



It's a sex cave, op

The Butcher
Apr 20, 2005

Well, at least we tried.
Nap Ghost
Being part neanderthal myself and being fairly familiar with humans, I would lean to:

"Lol Ogg, if you hit those rock dongs hard enough with this, they break right off, it's fun as hell, wanna go break some?"

over

"Ogg, this is a special spiritual place. The rock dongs represent fertility or some poo poo like that."

stratdax
Sep 14, 2006

Noblesse Obliged posted:

the real fascinating thing to me is why people with degrees insist on assigning cultural significance to everything ancient people did when clearly modern ones just to random poo poo for no reason 95% of the time

A lot to unpack with this comment. What do you mean by "cultural significance"? Keep in mind the articles edited the original archaeologists quotes to hell and back, so what might seem to be some bold claims might actually be clearer in the published paper that it's total hypothesis or supported by evidence. Also, here's a quote from the article: "Some of the burning must surely be associated with lighting in such a dark location, but only further discoveries from this or other sites will show us how common were such deep cave occupations in the ancient past, and what their purpose might have been."
Not exactly a controversial statement.

My partner is an archaeologist in a region with much more modern human activity and a clear picture of the historical record, and she certainly doesn't attach what the motivation might be for a site outside of "shelter", "trading route", "hunting ground", "garbage dump", or how things were used without objective evidence. For example, there's a small item they keep finding all over the region they just call a "whatsit", because the cultural knowledge has been lost (well, purposely eradicated by the colonizing government) and they aren't about to just guess and officially declare what they were used for without some clear evidence.

stratdax fucked around with this message at 06:33 on Apr 25, 2022

stratdax
Sep 14, 2006

Yaldabaoth posted:

Some people want to believe that ancient humans fit the "Magical Black Person" archetype. It's like the complete opposite of people who think ancient humans were complete dumbfucks who needed aliens to build everything for them.

Weird posts itt. Are you even talking about this finding specifically anymore or arguing against something you've built up in your head or what.

AHH F/UGH
May 25, 2002

looks like where the threw away their old dildos that they shoved up their poopy asses

EA Sports
Feb 10, 2007

by Azathoth
i used to be confused at the idea of tiny men bringing down all the huge fauna of the time but after giving it some thought. i can see like an achilles heel angle, like humans can easily pass off to one another the small little poke they have to do to your huge mammal rear end to have you bleed out within a day.

the golden corral of the b.c... was wooly mammoth carcass.

Linux Pirate
Apr 21, 2012


It's so obvious, the big circle was for unga, and the smaller circle was dedicated to bunga.

Knormal
Nov 11, 2001

This is obviously a model of a cell.

Haptical Sales Slut
Mar 15, 2010

Age 18 to 49

stratdax posted:

A lot to unpack with this comment. What do you mean by "cultural significance"? Keep in mind the articles edited the original archaeologists quotes to hell and back, so what might seem to be some bold claims might actually be clearer in the published paper that it's total hypothesis or supported by evidence. Also, here's a quote from the article: "Some of the burning must surely be associated with lighting in such a dark location, but only further discoveries from this or other sites will show us how common were such deep cave occupations in the ancient past, and what their purpose might have been."
Not exactly a controversial statement.

My partner is an archaeologist in a region with much more modern human activity and a clear picture of the historical record, and she certainly doesn't attach what the motivation might be for a site outside of "shelter", "trading route", "hunting ground", "garbage dump", or how things were used without objective evidence. For example, there's a small item they keep finding all over the region they just call a "whatsit", because the cultural knowledge has been lost (well, purposely eradicated by the colonizing government) and they aren't about to just guess and officially declare what they were used for without some clear evidence.

Whatever it was, it goes in the butt.

Prokhor Zakharov
Dec 31, 2008

This is me as I make another great post


Good luck with your depression!
they're all fossilized neanderthal turds

veni veni veni
Jun 5, 2005


ngl part of me thinks it looks like they just fell off the ceiling on their own at some point

Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

Poohs Packin
Jan 13, 2019

Knormal posted:

This is obviously a model of a cell.

The mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell

  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
  • Post
  • Reply