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Bar Patron
Jun 12, 2015

Good Sphere posted:

So many people I know are siding with Depp, but the thing I always think of is when a liquor bottle was allegedly thrown by Amber, it cut Depp’s hand, and then he wrote with his blood afterward, :confused: and this is something he admitted to in court. That doesn’t really sound sane to me.

Nothing but an innocent blood ritual to summon some more cocaine. Everybody does those.

I wonder what he wrote? I'd like to think it was "ouch my finger".

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Good soup!
Nov 2, 2010

Who What Now posted:

Jay Leno: So there's a celebrity trial going on, heh heh, have you Amber Heard of this? Anybody Amber Heard of this?

old people still watching TV:

Archer666
Dec 27, 2008
I try not to get too Depp into these things. You can never trust the things you've Heard about rich people.

Yaldabaoth
Oct 9, 2012

by Azathoth
Some people are speculating that Amber Heard was physically abusive to Elon Musk when they dated, in which case she has nothing but my upmost respect.

Chumbawumba4ever97
Dec 31, 2000

by Fluffdaddy

GABA ghoul posted:

I watched some court video on YT of Johnny Depp talking and does he have brain damage from all the drugs? He talks really slow and seems to zone out all the time



Chumbawumba4ever97
Dec 31, 2000

by Fluffdaddy
He dresses like a Final Fantasy protagonist

frh
Dec 6, 2014

Hire Kenny G to play for me in the elevator.
On Thursday, Heard’s attorney Ben Rottenborn read aloud from messages in which Depp referred to himself as a “loving savage” and a “lunatic,” and fantasized about killing Heard.

“Let’s drown her before we burn her!!!” Depp wrote to actor Paul Bettany in June 2013. “I will gently caress her burnt corpse afterwards to make sure she’s dead.”

The text messages first surfaced during Depp’s libel trial against the publisher of The Sun newspaper in the United Kingdom in 2020. In that case, the judge ruled that Heard’s abuse allegations were “substantially true,” and rejected Depp’s suit.

Rottenborn also read a message in which Depp referred to ex-wife Vanessa Paradis as “the French extortionist, ex-c—.”

In a text message describing the flight, Depp described himself as “an angry aggro injun in a loving blackout, screaming obscenities and insulting any gently caress who got near.”

Rottenborn also asked Depp if he had destroyed hotel rooms.

“I have assaulted a couch or two, yes sir,” Depp responded.

Rottenborn also showed Depp several text messages in which Deep indicated that he had cut his own finger. In one of them, Depp wrote to his doctor that he had “chopped off my left middle finger as a reminder that I should never cut my finger off again.”

The attorney also showed the jury pictures of messages that Depp had scrawled in paint and blood after the finger injury, including one that read “starring Billy Bob and easy Amber.” Heard had just filmed “London Fields” with Billy Bob Thornton. Rottenborn played an audio clip in which Depp said he became “jealous” and “weird” when Heard worked on movies.

DeadFatDuckFat
Oct 29, 2012

This avatar brought to you by the 'save our dead gay forums' foundation.


I would like to text with Paul Bettany

Mooey Cow
Jan 27, 2018

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
Pillbug

DeadFatDuckFat posted:

I would like to text with Paul Bettany

Don't, clearly he'll rat you out to the cops

Good Sphere
Jun 16, 2018

Bar Patron posted:

Nothing but an innocent blood ritual to summon some more cocaine. Everybody does those.

I wonder what he wrote? I'd like to think it was "ouch my finger".




Blood and paint, but yeah

https://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/johnny-depp-finger-trial-heard-b2062828.html?amp

Khorne
May 1, 2002
Johnny Depp wasn't allowed to take off his own shoes when he came home. He had to wait for Heard to do it or she would explode and aggressively badger/fight with him for the rest of the day.

That's my favorite trial factoid so far. Hoping for some crazy Depp stories this week from Heard's side.

The weirdest thing about the trial is how people are tribalizing around sides. Both people were poo poo to each other. There is some sympathy for Depp here given the outright lies that have been told & how he got railroaded in court previously, but a bit of sympathy on that front doesn't mean he wasn't a psycho rear end in a top hat with substance abuse issues during the relationship. Look no farther than the kitchen video or the paint pictures for proof of that. Each incident divorce-worthy on its own.

Khorne fucked around with this message at 16:54 on May 2, 2022

frh
Dec 6, 2014

Hire Kenny G to play for me in the elevator.

Hm yes clearly Amber Herd is the crazy irrational one in this whole story, good job reddit and the MRA movement

OMFG FURRY
Jul 10, 2006

[snarky comment]
crazy people tend to attract each other so w/e

Archer666
Dec 27, 2008
should have written that with his poo poo to match Amber's energy

Haptical Sales Slut
Mar 15, 2010

Age 18 to 49

Blooster posted:

On Thursday, Heard’s attorney Ben Rottenborn read aloud from messages in which Depp referred to himself as a “loving savage” and a “lunatic,” and fantasized about killing Heard.

“Let’s drown her before we burn her!!!” Depp wrote to actor Paul Bettany in June 2013. “I will gently caress her burnt corpse afterwards to make sure she’s dead.”

The text messages first surfaced during Depp’s libel trial against the publisher of The Sun newspaper in the United Kingdom in 2020. In that case, the judge ruled that Heard’s abuse allegations were “substantially true,” and rejected Depp’s suit.

Rottenborn also read a message in which Depp referred to ex-wife Vanessa Paradis as “the French extortionist, ex-c—.”

In a text message describing the flight, Depp described himself as “an angry aggro injun in a loving blackout, screaming obscenities and insulting any gently caress who got near.”

Rottenborn also asked Depp if he had destroyed hotel rooms.

“I have assaulted a couch or two, yes sir,” Depp responded.

Rottenborn also showed Depp several text messages in which Deep indicated that he had cut his own finger. In one of them, Depp wrote to his doctor that he had “chopped off my left middle finger as a reminder that I should never cut my finger off again.”

The attorney also showed the jury pictures of messages that Depp had scrawled in paint and blood after the finger injury, including one that read “starring Billy Bob and easy Amber.” Heard had just filmed “London Fields” with Billy Bob Thornton. Rottenborn played an audio clip in which Depp said he became “jealous” and “weird” when Heard worked on movies.

Someone please make a vr game Couch Assault wherein you have to stab and claw your way through your hotel furniture in a desperate attempt to find all of your wrist flair.

Catastrophe
Oct 5, 2007

Committed to burn twice as long and half as bright
Know why everyone is talking about Amber Heard right now? .....WELL NOW EVERYBODY KNOWS ABOUT THE HEARD. HEARD, HEARD, HEARD. HEARD IS THE WORD.

GolfHole
Feb 26, 2004

cut my wife into pieces

Yaldabaoth
Oct 9, 2012

by Azathoth

I'm going to be honest. Since most of Johnny Depp's roles have been characters wearing outlandish outfits, he looks even weirder to me when he tries to dress like an regular person, like an alien trying to pass as human and not getting it right.

Chumbawumba4ever97
Dec 31, 2000

by Fluffdaddy

Yaldabaoth posted:

I'm going to be honest. Since most of Johnny Depp's roles have been characters wearing outlandish outfits, he looks even weirder to me when he tries to dress like an regular person, like an alien trying to pass as human and not getting it right.

The Johnny Depp impersonator on Nathan for You completely nailed it


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XD3nq0eECz4

Bad Purchase
Jun 17, 2019





which pickup artist is this?

MrQwerty
Apr 15, 2003

Chumbawumba4ever97 posted:

The Johnny Depp impersonator on Nathan for You completely nailed it


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XD3nq0eECz4

that's this guy, he was his official impersonator at events and poo poo

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vZTUf7TD8lw

kntfkr
Feb 11, 2019

GOOSE FUCKER

Square Enix presents Johnny Depp

Mr. Blastaway
Jun 23, 2004

I mean define: "poo poo the bed." Because we've all had liquid sharts in or around the bed. At times (I've heard) it can leak straight through your clothes and staining the sheets. Then all the sudden you branded a "bed-shitter." Not true. Incontinence runs in some other families (not my own) and these allegations are hurtful and potentially illegal.

kntfkr
Feb 11, 2019

GOOSE FUCKER

GolfHole posted:

cut my wife into pieces

dissolve the chunks in lye

Knormal
Nov 11, 2001

So what I'm getting out of this is that Amber Heard is single? :wiggle:

Colonel Cancer
Sep 26, 2015

Tune into the fireplace channel, you absolute buffoon
I can poo poo in your bed any time

Yaldabaoth
Oct 9, 2012

by Azathoth

kntfkr posted:

dissolve the chunks in lye

Johnny Depp stared in Sweeny Todd to prepare him for something like this.

Linux Pirate
Apr 21, 2012


Get out of my dreams, and poo poo into my bed.

Valko
Sep 18, 2015

Why does this always happen? Amber Heard is hot. Believe it or not I actually dated a couple of young women just like her when I was in my twenties. I got my nose broken with a wine bottle and a small part of my right ear is missing.

Johnny Depp should be old enough to know better.

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

MEIN RAVEN
Oct 7, 2008

Gutentag Mein Raven

This would be going a lot better for Amber if she'd hired one Leonard J Crabs, esquire

Funky See Funky Do
Aug 20, 2013
STILL TRYING HARD

Nuts and Gum posted:

What’s stopping you? Kramer did it, can’t be too hard

Well, I guess the biggest obstacle would be the severe pyrophobia I've suffered from ever since my parents were killed in a backyard BBQ accident when I was a small child.

eleven extra elephants
Feb 16, 2007

Menschliches! Allzumenschliches!!

Dang It Bhabhi!
May 27, 2004



ASK ME ABOUT
BEING
ESCULA GRIND'S
#1 SIMP

Khorne posted:

Both sides but MEN'S RIGHTS

lmao

Brother Tadger
Feb 15, 2012

I'm accidentally a suicide bomber!

Valko posted:

Why does this always happen? Amber Heard is hot. Believe it or not I actually dated a couple of young women just like her when I was in my twenties. I got my nose broken with a wine bottle and a small part of my right ear is missing.

Johnny Depp should be old enough to know better.

:yikes:

Bogus Adventure
Jan 11, 2017

More like "Bulges Adventure"

Chumbawumba4ever97 posted:

He dresses like a Final Fantasy protagonist

So loving true

Bogus Adventure
Jan 11, 2017

More like "Bulges Adventure"

Bad Purchase posted:

which pickup artist is this?

Captain Jackoff Sparrow

istewart
Apr 13, 2005

Still contemplating why I didn't register here under a clever pseudonym

Funky See Funky Do posted:

When I was 5 I thought when I was this age that I'd be a fireman and drive in a big red truck. Maybe it's not too late, you know? A volunteer fire fighter on the weekends. Yeah. Yeah that's what I'll do!

If nothing else good comes out of this thread (which is the most likely outcome)…

Follow your dreams, Funky!

precision
May 7, 2006

by VideoGames
this is like when people were shocked about marilyn manson being a weird piece of poo poo

like man wow never saw this coming

(im not saying depp is a bad, im just saying hes a crazy weird)

Pennywise the Frown
May 10, 2010

Upset Trowel
Didn't he have like a few million dollar wine collection or some crazy poo poo? I think I remember Depp being really bad with money.

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Kharnifex
Sep 11, 2001

The Banter is better in AusGBS

Doctor Dogballs posted:

he's from kentucky.

Ah so he's just stupid then

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