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Mother's Day is coming up so this year let's give Mom what she really wants: bad jokes to tell We've chipped away at gender disparity a lot over the long decades but this dream has still eluded us. There are dad jokes but hardly any mom jokes. It was the great Strong Bad who once said that calling a "garage sale" a "garbage sale" is "the only joke Moms have" and it's high time that changed I'll start us out: Kid: Hey Mom, they just arrested Billy's dad! The police are saying he's a cannibal! Mom: "The police are saying he's a maynibal." |
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May 4, 2022 14:21
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| # ? May 6, 2024 09:16 |
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 unoriginal moms could always just tell "your mama" jokes, but replace "your mama" with "I"
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May 4, 2022 14:52
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Areola Grande posted:
While jokes about moms are fine and moms are certainly allowed to tell them, we need to capture a sense of ownership, an essential momosity, a certain je ne sais mom As with dad jokes, a mom joke should sound most natural coming from a mom, and anyone else who tries to tell one should sound like a mom |
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May 4, 2022 15:42
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imo you should be able to imagine some iconic mom saying the joke, for example peggy hill or marge simpson "fortnite? the should call that game shortnite because you never get any sleep when you're playing it! no really, you look tired."
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May 4, 2022 16:25
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Ben Braddock: Mrs. Robinson, you're trying to seduce me, aren't you? However, I am only here to watch Marvel Studios' Moon Knight with my friends. Mrs. Robinson: wouldn't u rather have a SPOON NIGHT. with me  mrs. robinson Ben Braddock: Not gonna happen. I was very clear about this.
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May 4, 2022 17:03
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jokes my mom likes: responding "dinner" to being asked what's for dinner. also, when i would have friends over to eat she would let them finish a dish and then get really sad and say in a small voice "that was going to be my lunch tomorrow at work" and pretend to be sad. my mom is funny.
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May 4, 2022 18:03
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Heather Papps posted:jokes my mom likes: responding "dinner" to being asked what's for dinner. also, when i would have friends over to eat she would let them finish a dish and then get really sad and say in a small voice "that was going to be my lunch tomorrow at work" and pretend to be sad. my mom is good at snarky comments and taking lil jabs but i don't think she has ever told a joke with a punchline maybe that's why i'm having such a hard time coming up with a mom joke 
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May 4, 2022 18:25
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My mom tells dad jokes so I've never learned any. But if you want like 50 obscure puns about cheese or bones found in the hand she'd be the one. https://i.imgur.com/9jTkSUL.mp4 |
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May 4, 2022 18:48
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My mom didn't tell jokes so much as give birth to them and then remind them of it every day. 
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May 4, 2022 19:07
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My mom is very literal and has no sense of humor
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May 4, 2022 19:37
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gonna text my mom and ask her for her favourite joke
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May 4, 2022 19:49
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if she responds with something like Buttchocks posted:My mom didn't tell jokes so much as give birth to them and then remind them of it every day. i guess i'll shrivel up into a husk and die
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May 4, 2022 19:50
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I just figured since dad jokes are so flat, mom jokes would be really punchy and funny.
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May 4, 2022 23:17
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Heather Papps posted:gonna text my mom and ask her for her favourite joke she told me her favourite joke is about bingo but did not relate the joke, then updated me on things. classic mom.
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May 4, 2022 23:40
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An example of my mom's humor
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May 5, 2022 00:46
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mom rhymes with prom maybe you can do something with that maybe? just throwing out ideas
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May 5, 2022 08:14
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Heather Papps posted:jokes my mom likes: responding "dinner" to being asked what's for dinner. also, when i would have friends over to eat she would let them finish a dish and then get really sad and say in a small voice "that was going to be my lunch tomorrow at work" and pretend to be sad. These are good mom jokes One of my mom's standbys was saying "Here, let me wave my magic wand" in response to a complaint about something that was supposed to be our responsibility or that she couldn't reasonably do anything about |
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May 5, 2022 13:37
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mom was always like, "no thanks to your father, who went out for a pack of cigarettes five years ago and never returned." when dad protested that he never smoked a cigarette in his life, she was like "there's always time to start!"
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May 5, 2022 14:19
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google THIS posted:These are good mom jokes Not a standby, actually not even often, or even something I have seen or heard her do in I don't know how many years, but I definitely remember my mom doing this on more then one occasion while waving her finger around pretending it was a wand and saying "magic words" and making sound effects for emphasis, lol.
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May 6, 2022 00:09
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Other wise, I can't think of a specific joke my mom has as a go to right now, but my mom always seemed to want to call me in to the other room or stop me as I was walking down then hall past the room with their computer in it and read some lame "joke" someone she may or may not know emailed her out loud to me. Typically very slowly, as she squints at the screen, corrects herself and re-reads words and entire lines. She tries to sell it with her "story telling voice" like you would imagine a mom reading a children's book out loud but it's to her adult child and/or my dad. It seems like it would always be when I was about to go to bed or go out for a smoke or something that already has my patience thin for a relatively long time investment for what it is. With the slow broken delivery there is at best a 1/10 chance after hearing a drawn-out story type joke will have any chance of being funny by the time she finally gets to the "punch line", it's more of a relief then anything. One of those deals where you start out standing there, and eventually resign yourself to taking a seat because who knows how long this may take. I suppose it is somewhat endearing as a concept, and I love her for wanting to share something she enjoyed, but when it's "hang on, I've got another one I want you to hear, let me find it" as she clicks around her inbox for 5 minutes and starts getting mad at the computer and cursing at it then that reminds her of another one from a month ago. So "just give me a minute" that turns into something she never actually finds because she probably deleted it, when you are thinking "ugh I have to get up for work in like five hours, I need sleeeeep" gets old when you have been through it who knows how many times, lol. In many ways she can be a pain, this being pretty minor in comparison, and I love my mom, but that's what comes to mind when I think of my mom's "jokes" 
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May 6, 2022 00:47
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since this is a workshop here are some words/ideas which come 2 mind regarding my mom memories: Lay-away at Walmart Always has juicy fruit gum 2 get us kids thru church Prevention™ Magazine Wellbutrin® Celery, apple slices and 'rrots in a finger food tray w/ ranch dippins while actual dinner is being prepared moms own btw Areola Grande fucked around with this message at 04:09 on May 6, 2022
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May 6, 2022 04:03
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Pronouncing Target as "tarjay" |
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May 6, 2022 09:57
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Escape From Noise posted:Pronouncing Target as "tarjay" can confirm
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May 6, 2022 13:15
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Areola Grande posted:
im starting to feel that mom is oversharing her rather impressive sexual history |
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May 6, 2022 14:54
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also weight? |
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May 6, 2022 14:54
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Nosfereefer posted:also weight? when I sit around the house i sit AROUND the house 
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May 6, 2022 15:11
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I think something along these lines would be the perfect analog to "Hi _____, I'm Dad" "Mom, the bathroom sink is gross." "Hi person who's about to clean the bathroom sink, I'm Mom." |
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May 6, 2022 16:10
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In general a lot of mom jokes could basically be dad jokes with more undertones of sarcastically telling people they should clean up their own messes |
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May 6, 2022 16:13
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Oh you want to become a pick-up artist? Maybe start with your room |
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May 6, 2022 16:14
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my mother is a saint. she's not a "joke," op, how dare you |
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May 8, 2022 18:21
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my mum was a big fan of the response 'yes, very.' whenever i said i was trying |
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May 8, 2022 18:50
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| # ? May 6, 2024 09:16 |
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Stoner Sloth posted:my mum was a big fan of the response 'yes, very.' whenever i said i was trying this is good, this is a definitive mom joke
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May 8, 2022 19:00
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