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challenge your neighbor to a rap battle
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May 12, 2022 04:59
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EmbryoSteve posted:also if you or anyone you know is considering suicide please reach out for help. Depressive thoughts and hopelessness can mislead us to thinking we dont matter to others or that we cannot escape our despair. You are valued OP and anyone reading this even if you don't believe it. Also check out mental health resources available to you. If you are on medicaid a lot of these resources can be free! Not to be a downer, but, like, my eviction just went through and I’ve been trying to find a way to get a home and nothing Is working and the only reason I did not euthanize myself is because I do not think my all 4 of my cats are rehomable and I had no friends that I could trust to rehome them where I was living. I also realized I’m not actually depressed. I’m just loving angry and exhausted. I’m currently living with my mom, which is awful for both of us. But at least this area is a little cheaper than Austin. I finally got written permission to telecommute 100% on the loving day of my eviction, which I really needed two months prior when I asked for it originally so that I could get an fha loan to buy a house. Cause I decided I wanted to move back to Kansas where I still have trustworthy friends who are well aware that I have not ALWAYS been a complete loser and I couldn’t find anywhere decent that would let me fill out an application workout meeting in person. So, like, what exactly are the resources for when someone is considering suicide going to do to help when it is obvious that I will not be permitted stability due to committing the sin of being poor? How much time are they expecting me to spend not working when my job thinks allowing someone off for a few hours to fill out rental assistance paperwork is a fine reason to fire them because they did not request to do so over two weeks prior? Now, tbf, I doubt most rental assistance programs are going to deny assistance because you made the mistake of paying as much of the rent as possible so now your remaining balance is a little over 50% of your take home pay that month so, you know, it’s a bad idea to try to pay any rent if you will be applying for assistance. But I don’t honestly know. Maybe that is the policy for all states. See. I’m just angry.
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May 12, 2022 05:51
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Mozi posted:challenge your neighbor to a rap battle I'll rap battle you OP
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May 12, 2022 05:55
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here's what i don't really get people are always like "you're not allowed to want to quit living, no matter how stupid and bad your life has become, so call this 800 number and get help" and i'm like yes. i want help. sure. but uh. it is literally gonna make me feel WORSE to have someone tell me nonsense platitudes or whatever. all i actually need is to make like, literally a single friend. i'm kind of old and i've been through all this poo poo before, and the only reason it's so much worse now is that i just don't know anybody. i have nobody to talk to. this forum is literally my onlly social outlet right now, which is, quite obviously really bad and not helping man i duno all i do know is that 800 numbers and therapists don't always help, not everyone. that would only make me feel way worse. it would make me feel like a sick person or whatever. i just want to be a normal person, with a slightly normal routine involving having people i can talk to about all this existential AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
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May 12, 2022 16:02
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lmao just kidding fart gas epic
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May 12, 2022 16:02
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deep dish peat moss posted:I'll rap battle you OP well i love to rap in an adversarial way so i'd be happy to tussle using words all day depression can be a real pain in the rear but at least my words can bring me cheer so don't spend all day mired in self-doubt just open up your mouth and let the raps out now watch me dance
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May 12, 2022 16:11
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and of course that's the worst part of all you get super depressed and you're like, ALL RIGHT buddy, i'm gonna LET PEOPE KNOW. i'm gonna blow some minds with how utterly, completely hopeless my life has become but that never works! it literally never helps! because all people see is a depressed, unfun MESS and of COURSE nobody wants to be friends with THAT so even people who MEAN WELL see what you're saying, and they just go "YIKES" so in conclusion, all i'm doing is making it worse lmao
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May 12, 2022 16:14
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Mozi posted:well i love to rap in an adversarial way 
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May 12, 2022 16:19
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I get pretty depressed after I bust one. but I also get depressed from NOT busting one. sometimes life is hard
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May 12, 2022 16:24
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precision posted:and of course that's the worst part of all A friend of mine has complained to me constantly the past 5 years about his untreated depression and not much else, but he's the closest friend I made from grad school. Don't worry about it so much.
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May 12, 2022 16:25
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precision posted:and of course that's the worst part of all So here's something to do, then, and this is the last bit of real advice I'll throw out. Take stock of things that maybe *used* to make you happy and start looking around for places to do those things with other people. If you want real life friends, you gotta be around real life people first. And if you do discover some places and people to hang out with, then don't drop all your Tales of Depression on them at once. Focus on the moment and what's making you happy and maybe focus on them instead of yourself, as a distraction. To tackle your own depression, and this is just anecdotal but it's kept me alive through some pretty dark times, maybe make a list of everything that you think has made your life utterly hopeless. Like, grab a pen and paper and actually write out a list. Feeling like "EVERYTHING" makes life lovely is different once you break down "EVERYTHING" into its components and can look at them. Then maybe you can figure out which things are easiest to tackle first, and which ones are gonna take a shitload of work. But at least it's a starting point. Depression is a ruthless fucker and make no mistake, Depression wants you dead. But Depression is not in control by default. YOU are. And even though it's really hard, you absolutely have the ability to tell Depression to gently caress right off.
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May 12, 2022 16:51
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precision posted:and of course that's the worst part of all If you're looking for companionship go do things other people do (during the day). Bars aren't the answer, but maybe hitting up a meetup might be good. I moved to a new city and just leveraged things I liked doing. I ended up making some nice friends. What do you like doing?
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May 12, 2022 16:52
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Turn that frown upside down, OP! No I'm serious lay on the edge of the bed.
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May 12, 2022 17:02
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this might piss people but but i'm really sceptical that a lot of what people talk about as depression is anything more than a functional response to a life that has become lovely, combined with a bit of peer pressure to acknowledge the world is hosed up. there's so much talk about mental health nowadays that i think it's the first thing people turn to in order to explain what's wrong with their lives, partly because a lot of the times the problems are so complex and intractable due to their economic roots, but also because i think it takes a bit of responsibility off you to personally do anything about it. i did it myself for a long time and it's only when i changed my perspective on this stuff that i've felt better. but it's a process i went through - had to realise that yeah, capitalist society has played a role in isolating me like this, i'm not broken for finding work extremely draining. then had to realise that these things don't mean i get a prize for having the worst possible reaction to them by only seeking escapist means to feel better. i wasn't depressed at all, i had learned helpnessness about my life and was using a bunch of excuses - capitalism, alcoholism and 'maybe i'm depressed?' - to justify it and continue seeking low quality kicks where ever i could without actually having to try. i'm not saying anything against seeking mental health help if you haven't done it, but i did it for a long time and it honestly didn't get me very far because my problems weren't clinical. they were material and personality based, and those things CAN be changed with the right attitude and a bit of concerted effort. people who work in mental health have a limited remit, they can't address the complex social reasons you are in the situation you are in many cases because they can't actually do anything about them. so they give you CBT therapy, maybe put you on some antidepressants - these are the tools they have, but they might be useless to you. if you have a real mental illness, then okay, but i'm not talking about that and i think inside, you know if you are kind of bullshitting it for the reasons i've alluded to. i know some people on here have serious mental illnesses and i'm not talking to everybody with this. i'm also not saying people aren't legitmately unhappy, but i am saying that 'the world sucks!! life sucks and can't be improved!!' is a cultural meme right now. people will regurgitate this sentiment while putting absolutely zero thought into it, putting aside how legitimate the complaints are (i am a socialist, i agree). but that's something happening that is happening on a social scale. still a real problem, but as far as improving your own life goes, not the same thing at all. precision you have some specific complaints about being lonely and you seem more pissed off about your life situation than depressed about it to me. i think you would feel much better if you started identifying some small things you could do to make benchmarked progress. they don't have to be big or come straight at the loneliness thing but as soon as you start doing things and see any kind of positive result, you'll probably feel differently. not fixed, maybe, but in a different mental space where the available moves will feel different and may include things you have not considered at all so far. roomtone fucked around with this message at 17:36 on May 12, 2022 |
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May 12, 2022 17:24
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roomtone posted:i'm not saying anything against seeking mental health help if you haven't done it, but i did it for a long time and it honestly didn't get me very far because my problems weren't clinical. they were material and personality based, and those things CAN be changed with the right attitude and a bit of concerted effort. people who work in mental health have a limited remit, they can't address the actual reasons you are in the situation you are in many cases because they can't actually do anything about them. so they give you CBT therapy, maybe put you on some antidepressants - these are the tools they have, but they might be useless to you. On point imo. A lot of people who are depressed probably don't have a bonafide brain problem. It's just that modern life/society sucks major rear end so they are depressed. Mental health professionals are indeed very limited in their usefulness in a situation like that. They can't make modern life/society not suck rear end. So yeah all they got is CBT and some meds, but all the good treatments are already available to the public! Like alcohol/weed, anime, and CBT.
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May 12, 2022 17:30
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adult life is fun
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May 12, 2022 17:31
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roomtone posted:this might piss people but but i'm really sceptical that a lot of what people talk about as depression is anything more than a functional response to a life that has become lovely, combined with a bit of peer pressure to acknowledge the world is hosed up. Well that's because you're stupid
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May 12, 2022 17:32
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going to offer a second opinion that that wall of words was the product of a dumb mind
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May 12, 2022 17:34
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precision posted:here's what i don't really get You are allowed, and that's kind of a cool thing, to know you have the option. But it's not a good one, since it's one way. Unless it gets really, really bad, even lovely existence is better than nonexistence. Tomorrow is always a new day. Platitudes! But serious.
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May 12, 2022 17:35
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The Butcher posted:You are allowed, and that's kind of a cool thing, to know you have the option. Eh, I often get empty encouragement sentences suggesting that I can simply make tomorrow a better day. No, YOU can. I can't. I've tried for years and things only got much, much worse. YOU can make your tomorrow a better day, Lazy Inspirational Person. I'm not you. ("you" in the royal sense. Not you you.)
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May 12, 2022 17:43
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A Wizard of Goatse posted:going to offer a second opinion that that wall of words was the product of a dumb mind i think i am dumb for continuing to post things like this in GBS yeah, and i'm going to try to stop doing that because i inevitably get stuff like this in return. usually i don't respond to it because what's the point, but this is something i've thought a lot about and if you actually think the points are stupid - which i doubt, because i post so many words people just don't read it and laugh - then i'd be interested to hear what part i am getting wrong.
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May 12, 2022 17:44
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what's in it for me to debate you instead of make fun of you, you're either a fifteen-year-old or think like one if you want more serious engagement you gotta at least throw in an account upgrade here
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May 12, 2022 17:47
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The Butcher posted:even lovely existence is better than nonexistence. I know you're trying to be helpful, but this line sucks and people should stop with it. Whether it's true or not is irrelevant. It feels dismissive to the person it's spoken to. It's like listening to someone vent about their lovely dead end job, and then your response is "hey, at least you have a job!"
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May 12, 2022 17:47
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Catastrophe posted:Eh, I often get empty encouragement sentences suggesting that I can simply make tomorrow a better day. Little bites. Just one thing a day. Again, empty bullshit. But worth a shot.
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May 12, 2022 17:48
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roomtone posted:i think i am dumb for continuing to post things like this in GBS yeah, and i'm going to try to stop doing that because i inevitably get stuff like this in return. usually i don't respond to it because what's the point, but this is something i've thought a lot about and if you actually think the points are stupid - which i doubt, because i post so many words people just don't read it and laugh - then i'd be interested to hear what part i am getting wrong. No you're dumb because you post stupid poo poo that has no verifiable background to it other than how you feel about it and then get butthurt when you get laughed at for being a loving moron. What's worse is that you're actively hurting others by posting poo poo that might drive them away from resources that could help them instead of your crackpot lunacy. Stop literally hurting others with how stupid you are. So, yeah. gently caress on off.
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May 12, 2022 17:51
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This society, and Capitalism at large, is a festering petri dish for mental illness. The symptoms are treated, and not the cause. This of course is exacerbated by legitimate chemical imbalance stuff and other mental health issues that are not induced by the system you are trapped in unless you're obscenely wealthy. But the mental illness stuff that would be present outside this system, within this system, is heavily stigmatized because you are expected to be Rugged Individualist who Copes and Does What They Have To. Therapy and drugs are often just trying to help you cope with the nightmare of living in this poo poo. The only advice and direction you can take is personally doing things for yourself so your material situation/where you put your mental focus isn't into how awful things are. So, escapism. It's an ongoing almost impossible to wrap your head around tragedy and distraction/throwing yourself into something you really enjoy doing personally is the only real thing to do. This is by design, so that people stay as atomized as possible, because people coming together is the biggest threat to the ghoulish, entrenched people that run this shitshow, while you are always told that you are wrong for even bringing up how abominable it all is. You're not wrong. Realizing this is not a cure for depression or these feelings, but to help the understanding of yourself that everyone else is pretending or they have a vested emotional and mental interest in this because almost no one is willing to admit every lie they've been told and swallowed, are indeed lies. Because if you're not just a consumer, if buying this and following these Official Approved Steps to "Pursue Happiness" (completely meaningless in the context of modern society) then your entire existence is rendered invalid. I personally believe in everyone's right to self-determination in terms of the course of their own life, including it's end. And this is coming from a child of a father who suicide'd when I was just old enough to take in the realization of it, and grandfather who suicide'd when my father was a teenager. Find some joy where you can, enjoyment can be found even if you fully acknowledge the reality of all this. I think, at least for me personally, it becomes easier once you realize all this horrific poo poo was locked in before you were even born. That said, don't kill yourself, get therapy, etc, I don't condone anyone killing themselves, etc etc etc. Justin Credible fucked around with this message at 17:56 on May 12, 2022 |
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May 12, 2022 17:52
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Meme Poker Party posted:I know you're trying to be helpful, but this line sucks and people should stop with it. It's this lol. Motherfuckers don't talk down to me about how everything is going to be fine, that's like your opinion man. I ain't even depressed.
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May 12, 2022 17:55
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roomtone posted:this might piss people but but i'm really sceptical that a lot of what people talk about as depression is anything more than a functional response to a life that has become lovely, combined with a bit of peer pressure to acknowledge the world is hosed up. durrrrr
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May 12, 2022 17:55
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OP I want you to look at the people in this thread. Look at how serious they're being. A bunch of middle-aged dads posting in the middle of the workday about whether life is meaningless, and they all have avatars like this  and name themselves after 20-year-old internet memes. you're going through some gnarly neurochemical poo poo right now and there's nothing anyone can say that's gonna change that quickly but internalize that this is the world your brain is telling you is a horrible tragedy. there's probably real bad poo poo going on in your life too but life isn't objectively awful, you've just got a thing in your brain that makes you see the screaming neighbor and bad social life and not the ways out of that or the very serious army of anime philosophers trying to heal you with the power of their weed thoughts A Wizard of Goatse fucked around with this message at 18:10 on May 12, 2022 |
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May 12, 2022 18:03
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If only this thread had happened one week earlier. Then my more respectable Ronin Cheems avatar wouldn't have sullied the thread's legitimacy. I'm sorry, OP!!!
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May 12, 2022 18:07
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Big Beef City posted:No you're dumb because you post stupid poo poo that has no verifiable background to it other than how you feel about it and then get butthurt when you get laughed at for being a loving moron. What's worse is that you're actively hurting others by posting poo poo that might drive them away from resources that could help them instead of your crackpot lunacy. Stop literally hurting others with how stupid you are. i'm not just pulling this stuff from my own head - there are some books i read over the past year. the origins of unhappiness by david smail is where i'm getting a lot of the stuff in my post. he's a clinical psychologist. then also books about addiction like chasing the scream and the urge by carl erik fisher which aren't what this is about but inform my thinking in terms of learned helpnessness, how environment conditions you and how you can overcome ingrained habits. that's combined with a lot of my own personal experience of dealing with this stuff and referring myself to mental health services and support groups. i also didn't say don't try to get help, i always try and remember to say try these things if you haven't because i might be wrong and i know not everybody is subclinical but i've trawled the internet for help so many times and found a lot of either casual 'seek this number for help' posts, which were already complained about by precision, and a lot of circlejerking stuff about how rough it is which did nothing except make me feel worse. you say i might be driving people away from getting help, i'm saying sometimes people try these things, don't get what they need, and get worse, so why not consider a different approach to it. you've succeeded in making me wonder if i'm acting like a crackpot here, which is probably a good thing, because this isn't just important to me as a problem but something i am actually dealing with myself which i don't think you're getting - i'm inside of this problem, my life is and has been hosed up by all of this, and all of the things people say you need to do have not worked. so i come back and say well i've found some stuff which is helping me make more progress, maybe this will help you - and i get this 'how loving dare you, idiot child' response. roomtone fucked around with this message at 18:15 on May 12, 2022 |
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May 12, 2022 18:07
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roomtone posted:i'm not just pulling this stuff from my own head - there are some books i read over the past year. the origins of unhappiness by david smail is where i'm getting a lot of the stuff in my post. he's a clinical psychologist. then also books about addiction like chasing the scream and the urge by carl erik fisher which aren't what this is about but inform my thinking in terms of learned helpnessness, how environment conditions you and how you can overcome ingrained habits. that's combined with a lot of my own personal experience of dealing with this stuff and engaging with the mental health services and support groups. Let me ask you a question in response; If you're wondering if you're subclinical, and are reading those books as a result, and have tried 'trawling the internet many times', resulting in finding amateur advice from others who did not work for you - why are you offering amateur advice to others trawling the internet? I'd encourage any and everyone to seek out professional and well-grounded means of support that can help guide them. Be cool folks.
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May 12, 2022 18:17
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A Wizard of Goatse posted:and name themselves after 20-year-old internet memes. Indeed, A Wizard of Goatse
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May 12, 2022 18:18
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I've often been told that sex cures depression and oh would you look at that, my schedule for today is wide open not the only thing that's wide open haha I have PMs
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May 12, 2022 18:23
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roomtone, do you huff paint?
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May 12, 2022 18:24
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i didn't mean trawling the internet didn't work for me, i meant going to counselling, medications and AA didn't work for me. i learned things through them but at the other end, wasn't where i needed to be, i needed something else because they weren't covering it all and i wasn't getting better. then additionally, the internet didn't just not help, but the negativity in mental health discussions and the robotic seek help posts actively turned me off - that is the reason i'm making these posts. do you think people who are posting online about how lovely their lives are, are unaware that counselling and meds and all of that exist? a lot of the time they have been doing these things for years. 'seek help'. yeah okay, i am, kind of still hosed up though so now what. my suggestion is not prohibitive of any additional support from established approaches, i've never said that. it's just not dogmatically restricted to those things because, like i said, a lot of this stuff is rooted in economics and can't be fully addressed via counselling, meds or support groups. i think people are ending up doing damage to themselves by restricting themselves to it, thinking they are just not doing these things hard enough, when maybe look - maybe this stuff just isn't giving you what you need. roomtone fucked around with this message at 18:35 on May 12, 2022 |
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May 12, 2022 18:27
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Escape to the woods and become a hermit.
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May 12, 2022 18:32
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roomtone posted:i think i am dumb for continuing to post things like this in GBS yeah, and i'm going to try to stop doing that because i inevitably get stuff like this in return. usually i don't respond to it because what's the point, but this is something i've thought a lot about and if you actually think the points are stupid - which i doubt, because i post so many words people just don't read it and laugh - then i'd be interested to hear what part i am getting wrong. i appreciate and agree with a lot of what you posted because yeah, that's the thing about "this time" for me. i've had normal regular mental illness my whole life. i've dealt with it just fine, and by just fine, i mean i dealt with it by having people to talk to and by just fighting to be a good or authentic person, but at any rate, what i'm saying is that i have never felt anywhere near as bad as i do now, because - i'm getting old enough that i have to give serious consideration, rather than passing lip service, to the notion that i might actually never do certain things again. big scary! - a lot of the advice people are posting? stuff i've tried, stuff i do. i don't mean to downplay anything about their intentions and i appreciate all that, i just mean, yeah i know how to make friends and improve my life, because i've been doing it for a long time now... ...but suddenly something just doesn't work. or rather, everything doesn't work. i quit social media a couple years ago, and i never really used it much in the first place, but when i say i quit, i really mean i just don't ever pay attention to any of it. and it's truly scary how few people actually disconnect from all of it in a meaningful way, so i don't have this, you know, this foundational common zeitgeist that everyone else has. and it's like, it's not that i'm too old to understand the tiktok or the facebook. it's worse than that. i understand all that poo poo very well, because i used to be so addicted to the internet (like all of you, like all of us were in the 2000s). i understand it and i reject it, and i just want to like... sit on a couch and talk about pumpkins or play mario kart. i don't want to talk about twitter or will smith or cancelling anybody or how lovely ALL OF IT is, how capitalism has won and beaten even the cool ones down into dumb meme facories and ... and... UGH
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May 12, 2022 18:35
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precision posted:lmao just kidding fart gas epic  it’s ok to be a lesbian, it’s just that a lot of girls aren’t gonna wanna be friendly anymore if you take it there all the time. 
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May 12, 2022 18:42
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Precision, buddy, at the end of the day you have to do something. Not this day, when you're ready. You gotta go do a thing to make a friend. Go axe throwing alone, chat with folks in the next lane when they make a nice shot. Join a bowling/darts league. Whatever feels right man. I'm an introvert and working from home is cool, but as soon as I started going back into the office I realized the absurdity of how dumb people act in face-to-face interactions is my bread and butter because it reminds me that I'm better than them. It really seems like you're lonely and bored. Those are pretty easy to fix. You don't need a great friend, just someone to throw axes/go to top-golf/race go-karts with and have a slice of pizza. Alternately, join goonswarm and get a space job. You'll be part of the tribe then.
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May 12, 2022 18:53
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