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hurr de durr, just an unarmored mass of human protoplasm here. oh look, a pretty flower, let me give it a sniff! wait a second, that's not a flower, it's a vermicious grabulak! oh no, it's eating me! ouch, ouch, how tragic! I forgot to evolve a thick chitinous shell! *raucous laughter and clapping of tentacles from the assembled courtiers* |
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May 23, 2022 16:17
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| # ? May 5, 2024 13:03 |
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"I traveled countless light years to get here, just to make war with, oppress, and conquer this inferior race, and boy are my tentacles tired! But seriously folks, take my captured alien slave bride... please!"
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May 23, 2022 17:23
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Did you hear the one about the human who has not yet joined the hivemind? Of course you have, but the human hasn't! |
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May 23, 2022 17:52
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134 of the recognized 379 genders be shoppin’!
Gruß vom Krampus |
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May 23, 2022 17:58
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thank u deep dish peat moss for the sig 
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infernal raptors fly like this *flaps wings menacingly*, psychic wasps fly like this *holds hands at sides, flaps them really really fast*, and humans fly like this *pantomimes sitting in an airline seat, putting on a seat belt, and browsing a magazine*
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May 23, 2022 18:12
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The alien court jester following me everywhere I go with a trombone and a film crew in tow recording my entire life, making the Price is Right "you just lost" trombone sound every time I do anything wrong or worry about something I did, while a mesmerized intergalactic crowd watches on and laughs as I hang my head in shame. "Wait is this real, or the funny byob thread for that, or am I just worrying about nearly impossible things again?" I ask myself. *Court jester plays the Price is right "you failed" trombone sound* "Oh yeah, right, yeah..."
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May 23, 2022 18:43
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Jester: But seriously, those humans are so dumb... Audience: HOW DUMB ARE THEY? Jester: They're so dumb, they think our cookbook is about improving their society! |
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May 23, 2022 22:01
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*does human impersonation* *runs around* ahhhrrrr look I'm a huuuuman and I'm on fire! *crawls around* ahhrrrrrr look I'm a human and the nanoslicers have cut off my arms and legs! *lies on back* ahrrrrr look I'm a human and the mighty zarnaufuak armada has killed me! *raises tentacle and opens its fleshy flaps to give the appearance of a flower growing over/out of the body and blooming* |
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May 24, 2022 05:37
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What's the deal with ovipositors? |
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May 24, 2022 14:15
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Some very strange mutated fungus thing takes control over the Pacific Northwest infesting the people with spores but he only got that because he once a month does a weird dance singing a song about alien pie or something like that
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May 25, 2022 06:28
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vanisher posted:Some very strange mutated fungus thing takes control over the Pacific Northwest infesting the people with spores but he only got that because he once a month does a weird dance singing a song about alien pie or something like that get out of here Tom Bombadil Gruß vom Krampus |
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May 26, 2022 15:29
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| # ? May 5, 2024 13:03 |
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The Overlord placed the invasion in the hands of ten generals. Let's hope they take time out from fighting each other to actually fight the Earthazoids! |
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May 26, 2022 19:00
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