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Congratulations.
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Jun 21, 2022 22:56
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There's good eatin on one of those
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Jun 21, 2022 23:08
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I'm so sorry for your loss but I just have to ask - wasn't the funeral home supposed to try and make them presentable?
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Jun 21, 2022 23:09
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If I only could, I'd make a deal with God, And I'd get him to swap our places,
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Jun 21, 2022 23:25
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The monster kill sound would be pretty bad. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v4I6mMilmio
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Jun 21, 2022 23:32
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cat botherer posted:it's really too bad that unless you are a sufficiently wizened man of at least 75, you can't smoke a pipe without looking like a weird freak. A lot cheaper and way better tobacco.
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Jun 21, 2022 23:49
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drat girl! Black is definitely your color.
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Jun 22, 2022 00:07
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*Reaches into open casket and squeezes the deceased man's testicles* "That's-a some spicy meat-a balls!"
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Jun 22, 2022 00:12
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Surprise! I swapped the embalming fluid with creamed corn
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Jun 22, 2022 00:15
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I've been told at two separate funerals "it's ok if you touch them" like whispered at me which seemed weird to tell me about highschool friends who died Like I wasn't planning on doing it was I giving off vibes that I planned to? Aesop Poprock fucked around with this message at 00:33 on Jun 22, 2022 |
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Jun 22, 2022 00:31
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Within 2 days of my wife passing, some girl I had never heard of messaged a friend of mine asking if she could ask me to log into my wife’s Facebook account to accept her friend request, because she’d deleted her in a clear out a few years prior.
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Jun 22, 2022 00:53
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the neighbors kept asking my friend if she'd sell her mom's house for cheap bc they wanted their friends to move there. technically this doesn't belong in the thread bc the mom was alive but on hospice care.
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Jun 22, 2022 00:55
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sooo dave owed me 500 bucks...
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Jun 22, 2022 01:00
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I flirted with a guy in a funeral home elevator. In my defense, I was 13.
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Jun 22, 2022 01:53
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I'm a level eight Cleric and you WILL let me try this resurrect dead spell on uncle Fred.
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Jun 22, 2022 01:53
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EL BROMANCE posted:Within 2 days of my wife passing, some girl I had never heard of messaged a friend of mine asking if she could ask me to log into my wife’s Facebook account to accept her friend request, because she’d deleted her in a clear out a few years prior. 
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Jun 22, 2022 02:57
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I love what the mortician did with her tits. I'm seriously envying the worms in a few days. *Motorboats the air in front of him*
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Jun 22, 2022 03:00
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Lazyfire posted:I'm a level eight Cleric and you WILL let me try this resurrect dead spell on uncle Fred. Raise dead is a fifth level spell and you need to be level 9 to cast it.
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Jun 22, 2022 03:01
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ikanreed posted:Raise dead is a fifth level spell and you need to be level 9 to cast it. perhaps this is why it's an inappropriate thing to say
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Jun 22, 2022 04:07
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"so, I guess he didn't have stairs in his house".
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Jun 22, 2022 04:17
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So.... You're single now
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Jun 22, 2022 04:18
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Hey you can’t tell me to leave! Who died and made you boss?
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Jun 22, 2022 04:18
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Ma'am I understand that you're upset but your husband's policy did not cover being run over by the Chief of Medicine's Mercedes in the parking garage.
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Jun 22, 2022 04:26
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Look, I know this is hard right now, but think of all the money you'll save in the future using half as much shampoo.
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Jun 22, 2022 04:44
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ikanreed posted:Raise dead is a fifth level spell and you need to be level 9 to cast it. Raise, animate, it's all the same thing. Don't let the Big Spell fool you
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Jun 22, 2022 04:49
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JonathonSpectre posted:Look, I know this is hard right now, but think of all the money you'll save in the future using half as much shampoo. Oh, he was bald? Well then what are you so upset about?
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Jun 22, 2022 04:50
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you're gonna die too lol just have a smoke and a sit down its fine
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Jun 22, 2022 04:51
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One time I made a reddit post because someone posted about their friend dying and how their friend was a huge fan of the game Path of Exile and played on Hardcore mode, and I just had to post "Hope he still has fun in Standard" and it got ~thousands of angry comments~
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Jun 22, 2022 04:57
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"Hey, you wanna see some pictures of dead bodies in different states of decay? It'll give you an idea of what your loved one will look like in the coming weeks!"
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Jun 22, 2022 05:05
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i hope this isn't an inopportune moment, but i'm conducting hideous experiments into bringing the spark of life into dead tissue sewed together into a perverted bastardization of humanity and i'm wondering if i could borrow a couple of limbs?
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Jun 22, 2022 05:07
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Hey did anyone dibs his toenails yet
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Jun 22, 2022 05:22
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They died with COVID, not of
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Jun 22, 2022 05:23
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When I lent him my gun, I explicitly told the fucker not to kill his kids with it
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Jun 22, 2022 05:33
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Look I don't care about the car accident. One of you has to pay for the brake repairs I did for him. rear end in a top hat even had the gall to claim that he took it to a "professional" two weeks ago and stiffed me
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Jun 22, 2022 05:36
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I find widows hot. You can't blame me for how nature made me. That's like being homophobic.
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Jun 22, 2022 05:37
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"It was part of God's plan" at my toddler's funeral. And my coworkers that didn't know what to do with me offering to smoke me out in the parking lot during the funeral.
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Jun 22, 2022 05:38
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Jun 22, 2022 08:17
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TKOrr4XRbg8
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Jun 22, 2022 08:31
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"So, he owed me money so does that mean I collect from you, or...?"
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Jun 22, 2022 09:17
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OK, the stiff's planted, now where's the goddamned food at?
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Jun 22, 2022 09:20
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