|
I studied highschool in a nunnery. I'm not religious. I wish I had something clever or snarky to say here but the nuns were all actually really nice. Our religion teacher was also the philosophy teacher and, surprisingly, we were taught the importance of being kind to one another regardless of their beliefs. Even the religion classes weren't... lies, that dude really liked to analyze the Greek version of the Bible so he went on to talk about what should be taken with a grain of salt in the modern bible because it's been mistranslated. He was one of those lobbyist kind of people who use truth to distort arguments in his favor, which also meant he seldom talked about subjective things like whether or not the Bible is right, but this also made arguing against him nearly impossible. The good news is that he used philosophy to teach us how to do that. Also he was gay and important which basically gave me free reins to bully the homophobic kids.
|
#
?
Jun 22, 2022 23:28
|
|
|
|
| # ? May 3, 2024 15:41 |
|
|
I don’t remember much from middle school because it was traumatizing to me, but I do remember taking home economics and getting this quote from the teacher. “A boy shouldn’t want to learn how to bake or sew.” gently caress you, teach’. That’s exactly why I took home ec. Baking is fun, and knowing how to repair clothing is a good skill to have.
|
|
#
?
Jun 22, 2022 23:55
|
|
|
"Never take on girls or women as students. It's just a headache, they'll always tell lies about you".
|
|
#
?
Jun 23, 2022 00:03
|
|
|
This was in college, I quickly switched teachers after he told me this.
|
|
#
?
Jun 23, 2022 00:05
|
|
|
I had a Spanish teacher who swore up and down that Portuguese was not at all related to Spanish (unlike French or Italian.) I don't know if it counts as a lie since he was just a dumbass, though.
|
|
#
?
Jun 23, 2022 00:08
|
|
|
Poop tastes great if it has undigested pieces of corn in it.
|
|
#
?
Jun 23, 2022 00:24
|
|
|
Nuns can get rascally talking about sex.
Zeluth fucked around with this message at 00:43 on Jun 23, 2022 |
|
#
?
Jun 23, 2022 00:38
|
|
|
The_Franz posted:On uniforms: "You need to get used to wearing a dress shirt and tie, because you're going to have to do it every day as an adult" Oh yeah that reminds me, the same middle school that invited the pro-abstinence speakers also said we could only wear plain, solid color polo shirts (but any color). When asked why they said that if we were allowed to wear what we wanted we'd just wear gang insignia and start fights on-campus. Even back when I was a sheltered bootlicker I wondered about the logic of this. If gangs wanted that badly to show their affiliation in the school wouldn't they just all buy polos of the same color? One class ("skills for success" or something like that) enforced even stricter dress code by making us go the full dress shirt and slacks route on days we had that class. They also made us learn table etiquette and said it would become an important part of our careers and if we didn't know details as tedious as what fork to use we'd look bad in front of our prospective bosses and business partners. Not only has this never come up at a job for me at all but during the practical exam I accidentally spilled a water pitcher onto the table and I still passed so lmao
|
|
#
?
Jun 23, 2022 01:01
|
|
|
If you go to college, you will get a good job.
|
|
#
?
Jun 23, 2022 01:04
|
|
|
You Are A Elf posted:I don’t remember much from middle school because it was traumatizing to me, but I do remember taking home economics and getting this quote from the teacher. One time when I was 9, I was waiting for the bus with my mom, and my science teacher was waiting too. When I said that I couldn't wait to be independent & take the bus by myself like the older kids, my science teacher said "but sweetie, you're a girl  " Yay gender roles!I took the bus home by myself to make this post, so it all worked out  Animal-Mother posted:If you go to college, you will get a good job. I don't know if I'll ever get over how much of a scam college was.
|
|
#
?
Jun 23, 2022 01:12
|
|
|
I won't get over the college lie, that's for certain. It wrecked my prospects in life, pretty much. I can't recall the other lies, but I know I had a teacher refuse to teach me division when I moved states, even though I had never seen the jagged line symbol in my damned life up to that point. I had to literally be explained the basic concept, which she said was "the opposite of multiplication", and never did any more effort to make me understand. Funny, because I was actually quite bright in math up until that point, despite having undiscovered disabilities at the time. It's not a fun story, but if any of you have kids, it's a decent one to tell if they ever ask about why they need to know the fundamentals of a boring task- my math abilities are still kneecapped by a poor foundation.
|
|
#
?
Jun 23, 2022 01:32
|
|
|
YeahTubaMike posted:I don't know if I'll ever get over how much of a scam college was. It's honestly, like, baffling
|
|
#
?
Jun 23, 2022 01:38
|
|
|
i have a sheet of paper declaring i was able to show up to something 3 times a week while having wild sex and consuming mind altering drugs in a fairly consequence free environment for 4 years its a requirement to fix this printer? cool. *foghats slow ride plays in the background for most of your early 20s*
|
|
#
?
Jun 23, 2022 05:30
|
|
|
My country uses both British and American English. In British English the convention is to place the period outside the quote marks. In American English you put it inside. In a bizarre compromise my teacher told us to put periods on both sides of the quote marks. Like: He said, “Yes.”.
|
|
#
?
Jun 23, 2022 06:28
|
|
|
Vegetable posted:My country uses both British and American English. In British English the convention is to place the period outside the quote marks. In American English you put it inside. heretic
|
|
#
?
Jun 23, 2022 06:38
|
|
|
pop fly to McGillicutty posted:"if you don't have a condom, use saran wrap and a rubber band" So did you try it?
|
|
#
?
Jun 23, 2022 12:20
|
|
|
Zil posted:"You need to learn how to do this calculation on paper because you won't always have a calculator with you." Yeah. Then in college? Fuckin' MATLAB, my dudes. The actual valid reason to learn how to calculations by hand is to understand how and why they work. Once you've been there and done that, though, meh.
|
|
#
?
Jun 23, 2022 12:31
|
|
|
Das Boo posted:"You have to learn to balance a checkbook." gently caress me, by the time I was getting old enough to handle more than a single daytrip's worth of pocket money by myself, cheques were basically on their way out, here. I did have and use a chequebook for the one year I spent going to high school in the US, but have not touched one since then. And that's over 30 years ago.
|
|
#
?
Jun 23, 2022 12:36
|
|
|
Zil posted:"You need to learn how to do this calculation on paper because you won't always have a calculator with you." "And those are the moments you'll be reporting having your cellphone stolen."
|
|
#
?
Jun 23, 2022 12:45
|
|
|
I don't think it's a lie because she really seemed to believe it, but once we had a substitute social studies teacher in the 7th grade who gave us a presentation on how her cat was abducted by aliens and returned and now the cat is acting all weird. She brought in multiple pictures of the cat and it looked like a normal cat. This was all in one day too, it wasn't like we broke her brain or something over the course of a week and she snapped. She just gave us the fill-in lecture and then spent like ten minutes at the end of the class telling us that her cat had been missing and it came back and she thought it had been abducted and experimented on. I don't remember the evidence she gave because we were too busy dunking on her with stupid questions. I really want to know what the gently caress was going on in her head that made her think this was a good thing to tell a bunch of 13-year-olds about. We never saw her again in the usual rotation of substitutes at my school.
|
|
#
?
Jun 23, 2022 13:07
|
|
|
The aliens got to her duh
|
|
#
?
Jun 23, 2022 13:40
|
|
|
When I took organic chemistry the professor in the first class drew a Bohr atom and X'd it out and then drew some orbitals and said something like remember they told you it didn't look like this, it looked like this? Well, that was also bullshit! It was my first real college class and I wasn't ready for the culture shock
|
|
#
?
Jun 23, 2022 14:26
|
|
|
My 7th grade homeroom teacher was MASSIVELY into the y2k prep thing
|
|
#
?
Jun 23, 2022 15:14
|
|
|
I still can't believe I did this everyday. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GiCaqA0ngRc
|
|
#
?
Jun 23, 2022 15:17
|
|
|
Elentor posted:I studied highschool in a nunnery. I'm not religious. I wish I had something clever or snarky to say here but the nuns were all actually really nice. (snip) Honestly same. I moved around a lot as a kid and weirdly the small town catholic school I went to was honestly the nicest place I went to, environmentally/socially. Thee town was poor and so was the school but the nuns and priest were all very cool and understanding people. I was only there for a year tho. The most memorable lie I can remember from high school was in my final year. The main players: - A kid called Brandon. Brandon was from Canada (I think?) and was not well liked we'll say. Always attempting the class clown thing, but without like, humour, delivery or honestly thought. Basically tried to be funny, everyone thought he was a dick. - The physics teacher, I forget her name (it was decades ago) so Teacher it is. She was seemingly one of the most adored teachers in the school. She was extremely compassionate and friendly, was respected by staff, a role model for the girls, and I think the guys thought her being younger and attractive meant she was a good teacher too. Sure. - Maths teacher, a dude who was also really kind and sweet and honestly way too much so, because he ended up having a breakdown because some kids struggled and he couldn't help them and that broke him. So Brandon liked acting the mickey in Teacher's class, and she was visibly annoyed with him a lot, which meant his already lovely reputation went downhill for pissing off one of the most loved teachers. One day when he's not there Teacher announces she's leaving the school and teaching in general. Everyone is flabbergasted, and some people are genuinely upset. A quiet girl asks, "is it because of Brandon?" to which the teacher said yes, he was so bad that he killed her want to teach any more. So naturally the kid proceeded to get bullied so badly that he left the school pretty quickly. Here's the twist. I caught up with another teacher of mine the year after I graduated. Cool dude, had a reputation for being stupidly honest to the point of almost getting fired for not covering poo poo up. I mentioned the incident and he immediately says, "loving what? That's not why she left. She was madly in love with the maths teacher, and when he left teaching she decided she couldn't be without him. She also wasn't meant to be in love with him because he was married and not interested." Dude was loving furious finding out she used a kid to scapegoat quitting for an unrequited love. That's my story folks.
|
|
#
?
Jun 23, 2022 15:32
|
|
|
kntfkr posted:I still can't believe I did this everyday. I moved to america from australia for a while as a kid and I just stood there in silence every day for three years while all you american dorks pledged to the flag
|
|
#
?
Jun 23, 2022 15:35
|
|
|
Caesar Saladin posted:I moved to america from australia for a while as a kid and I just stood there in silence every day for three years while all you american dorks pledged to the flag Umm they sing the Australian anthem at school assembly in Australian public schools too, which is also super lame
|
|
#
?
Jun 23, 2022 15:52
|
|
|
Idk if this counts but I had an english teacher who told us that "poo poo" wasn't a real swear word and let us use it in our writing assignments
|
|
#
?
Jun 23, 2022 16:00
|
|
|
Lascivious Sloth posted:Umm they sing the Australian anthem at school assembly in Australian public schools too, which is also super lame In my part of Canada, we had to sing our national anthem at every school assembly in elementary school for some baffling reason. Some parts of Canada treat it like the goddamn Pledge.
|
|
#
?
Jun 23, 2022 16:04
|
|
|
syntaxfunction posted:Honestly same. I moved around a lot as a kid and weirdly the small town catholic school I went to was honestly the nicest place I went to, environmentally/socially. Thee town was poor and so was the school but the nuns and priest were all very cool and understanding people. I was only there for a year tho. That is so hosed up, like holy poo poo is that hosed up.
|
|
#
?
Jun 23, 2022 16:11
|
|
|
syntaxfunction posted:Honestly same. I moved around a lot as a kid and weirdly the small town catholic school I went to was honestly the nicest place I went to, environmentally/socially. Thee town was poor and so was the school but the nuns and priest were all very cool and understanding people. I was only there for a year tho. this pitch for a Rushmore sequel is weird even by wes anderson standards
|
|
#
?
Jun 23, 2022 16:18
|
|
|
Zil posted:That is so hosed up, like holy poo poo is that hosed up. I know right, Brandon is such a poo poo name
|
|
#
?
Jun 23, 2022 16:21
|
|
|
kntfkr posted:I still can't believe I did this everyday. I remember kids gradually stopped putting their hands over their hearts in an act of quasi-rebellion, lol Also, RIP Trevor, his delivery of the last line was perfect, as expected
|
|
#
?
Jun 23, 2022 16:43
|
|
|
I'm not telling anyone to do this but connecting with old teachers on facebook and then trolling the poo poo out of them can be a fun Saturday night. Nearly every teacher I had is a Trump/Q Boomer so its fish in a barrel but they can't send me the principal's office.
|
|
#
?
Jun 23, 2022 17:24
|
|
|
The pledge was invented by a flag salesman, no lie. 
|
|
#
?
Jun 23, 2022 17:26
|
|
|
This thread dislodged a memory of something my first grade teacher told us. People in Japan poop in “honey buckets” which are then collected by women in the village whose job it is to mash the “honey” with their bare hands all day long until it’s the right consistency for use as fertilizer. Now this wasn’t totally a lie. Historically, people all over the world, obviously not just in Japan had to come up with ways to dispose of poop before plumbing was invented. It involved buckets and someone had to deal with emptying the buckets, and they really were sometimes called honey buckets. The weird thing was deciding to say this about Japan in particular to a bunch of 7 year olds whose only reaction was eeeeeewww and making it sound like this was a common practice in modern Japan. The only thing I can figure was they were trying to drill into our heads at an early age “be thankful you are American because if you were in a primitive country like Japan, your mom would probably be in the local poop bucket brigade.” This was 1980, Ronald Reagan had just been elected and I remember American adults in real life and on TV being very nervous and upset about Japan “beating us” in education and tech and auto manufacturing. Buy American!
|
|
#
?
Jun 23, 2022 17:57
|
|
|
"Teacher, did they have honey buckets in the American internment camps?"
|
|
#
?
Jun 23, 2022 18:06
|
|
|
just remembered in grade 5 the teacher said sapphire were a subset of beryl that's bullshit it's corundum
|
|
#
?
Jun 23, 2022 18:17
|
|
|
blue beryl is aqua freakin' marine every one knows this
|
|
#
?
Jun 23, 2022 18:17
|
|
|
|
| # ? May 3, 2024 15:41 |
|
|
Plant MONSTER. posted:just remembered in grade 5 the teacher said sapphire were a subset of beryl that's bullshit it's corundum loving lying rear end teachers. they can't keep getting away with this
|
|
#
?
Jun 23, 2022 18:18
|
|
