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Jun 24, 2022 23:17
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| # ? May 7, 2024 18:51 |
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the whole team from CSI miami crying like little bitch babies when they can't figure out that it was me who put all the family size bags of tostitos in the back of my car
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Jun 24, 2022 23:18
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oof! right in the Truck Nutz™
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Jun 24, 2022 23:21
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scoffing at the fools who carry grocery bags with their hands as i hop skip and jump towards my vehicle with my purchases dangling from my feet. when i reach it, the smoothness and fluidity of the motion of me swinging my foot under the sensor, then up and towards the rapidly opening hatchback is gonna drop some jaws.
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Jun 24, 2022 23:21
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passerby completely convinced that the Wawa parkign lot is haunted, but leaves happy knowing it is a friendly ghost
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Jun 24, 2022 23:22
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*the boner police, jamming me against the back of my SUV* "we'll see, motherfucker"
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Jun 24, 2022 23:22
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Heather Papps posted:*the boner police, jamming me against the back of my SUV*
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Jun 24, 2022 23:22
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usingaboxtoopenacartrunkinsteadofyourhands.jpg
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Jun 24, 2022 23:54
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Heather Papps posted:scoffing at the fools who carry grocery bags with their hands as i hop skip and jump towards my vehicle with my purchases dangling from my feet. when i reach it, the smoothness and fluidity of the motion of me swinging my foot under the sensor, then up and towards the rapidly opening hatchback is gonna drop some jaws. handstand walking to my car balancing my grocery box on the soles of my shoes while the parking attendant gives me a perfect ten through the tollbooth glass |
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Jun 24, 2022 23:55
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Jun 25, 2022 00:06
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gently caress it's not recognizing let me pull up the halo guy video real quick
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Jun 25, 2022 00:18
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To make the sensors work you have to wear special shoes that are made of Bakelite and only come in one size. And they have a tendency to spontaneously catch fire. |
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Jun 25, 2022 00:43
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I just slam it down with my forehead when I got stuff in my arms |
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Jun 25, 2022 01:34
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lol |
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Jun 25, 2022 05:14
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Jun 25, 2022 05:20
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Just freaking LOL if you don't know the subharmonic method of beat-boxing your way into your car! The Original Human Beat Box demonstrated this amazing ability on Myth Busters when Doug E. Fresh, minus the Get Fresh Crew- beat-boxed his way into a variety of vehicles with absolutely no assistance from Slick Rick. Oddly enough, here's a sample: Yo, here's a little somethin' that needs to be heard! You might find it a little crazy or even absurd! I'm not tryin' ta diss or verbally dunk, But I like to beatbox to get into my trunk! I just... bust a rhyme so you all won't miss, And it goes a little sumthin' like this... An entire fleet of parked cars suddenly have their trunks opened up, as if by magic To the, tick-tock and ya don't stop- The trunk of your car is not locked, to the tick-tick and ya don't quit, Any post by Nut is the REAL sure poo poo! *Pooh, hah- Pooh, hah- poohah poot poot...* |
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Jun 25, 2022 06:23
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Jun 25, 2022 09:56
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lmao |
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Jun 25, 2022 10:14
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Jun 25, 2022 14:54
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Alternatively, for hands free opening and closing of your car trunk, try using your dick. If you don't have one handy borrow a strangers in the parking lot. If that doesn't work, use a dildo, it's like a slim jim or coat hanger for unlocking doors if you lost your keys, but for car trunks.
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Jun 26, 2022 08:29
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Twenty Four posted:Alternatively, for hands free opening and closing of your car trunk, try using your dick. If you don't have one handy borrow a strangers in the parking lot. If that doesn't work, use a dildo, it's like a slim jim or coat hanger for unlocking doors if you lost your keys, but for car trunks. watch out for the boner police if you decide to use this illegal move
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Jun 26, 2022 14:00
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unless you can operate the trunk of your vehicle with your flaccid wenus
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Jun 26, 2022 14:07
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(or somebody else's flaccid wenus)
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Jun 26, 2022 14:09
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Looking forward to padlocking my trunk shut because the car company pushed a buggy software update that bricked the sensors. |
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Jun 26, 2022 20:31
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Jun 28, 2022 04:37
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spinning my grocery cart around and pushing forward at the exact right moment and looking around to see if anyone noticed
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Jun 28, 2022 05:27
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i thank god every day for my hands free opening car trunk. last year i was picking blueberries when i got between a cub and it's mother, and momma was pissed as hell. she chased me back to my vehicle, and in a panic i crawled underneath. the sound of those smooth servos and hydraulics pushing open the hatchback might as well have been a chorus of angels to my ears! i scrambled towards the rear and up and into the safety of steel and glass, pulling the door closed behind me. the only reason i'm alive today is this miracle of technology. *screeching bald eagle sound, text flashes JOES PRETTY GOOD CARS*
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Jun 28, 2022 14:09
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doctor watches me appraisingly as i file into the waiting room with a hosed up nose for the 11th time this year i keep telling you its perfectly socially acceptable to open a trunk with your hands me: specialization is all that separates the human genus from animals |
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Jun 28, 2022 17:40
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| # ? May 7, 2024 18:51 |
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Jun 28, 2022 19:33
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