porizj posted:

It is my firm belief that man can subsist on nothing more then chili and anger.

To that end, I have decided to share my own favorite chili recipe with the lot of you, so that you may convert your shame and anger into chili and anger. In this way, I am the best humanitarian who has ever or will ever survive.

I'm going to be breaking a few sacred chili rules here. Too bad; I apologize to no one.

Ingredients:

1 & 1/2 to 2 lbs of ground PORK (perfect way to uncover jews)
2 packages of french onion soup mix (be prepared for your chili to surrender)
2 tablespoons of chili powder (less if you're a baby, more if you're a man)
4 teaspoons of ground cumin (omit this and I will devour your soul)
1 teaspoon of black pepper (slightly racist)
1/2 teaspoon of salt (or none if you're heaving a heart attack right now)
6 ejaculations (squirts) of Tabasco sauce
1 21-ounce can of red beans and 1 21-ounce can of black beans (I have a dream)
2 6-ounce cans of tomato paste with garlic (regular tomato paste = you're an rear end in a top hat)
2 8-ounce cans of tomato sauce (real men need more than just paste)
1 yellow, orange or red pepper, chopped up (green peppers are Satan's taint)
1 package of sliced mushrooms (yes, you can slice your own mushrooms, smartass)

Instructions:

Put the meat in a huge chili pot and brown it over medium heat
Add 4 cups of water and the french onion soup mix. Stir and let simmer for 10 minutes
Stir in the spices and the Tabasco and simmer for another minute or two
Add the beans, the mushrooms and the chopped pepper
Turn to low and let simmer for at least 20 minutes, 40 is better, stirring every 5-10
Call your mother and tell her she's not allowed to hug you anymore

And that's it, you're done. You just went from a pathetic, flaccid pushover to a chili-chewing boner-owner in about an hour. Your life will thank me.

Who's next? Don't even think about posting a recipe with corn in it. You should be ashamed of yourself.

CARL MARK FORCE IV posted:

GOD HAS DIED

Inceltown posted:

First post

Roth posted:

The Saddest Rhino posted:

Who can out-chili my chili?

quote:

Anything to get the taste out of their mouth, I suppose.

cinni posted:

On monday I went to Staples with my mom, and really clicked with the employee and asked for his number, which he eagerly gave me, and I texted him later and then after work, we went on our first date. It was so great, very natural, he has great energy and a great laugh, and he came off as very sincere and genuine and heartfelt, and it was so refreshing.

Turns out, he is only 18, and I am 33. I was a little shocked at first, but honestly, I believe certain people come into our life at certain times for a certain reason, and while I am aware that this isn't going to end in happily ever after, for the time being, I am enjoying his company and he enjoys mine. He has an innocence that isn't poisoned by the cynicism of guys my age, and has an openness and zest for life that is invigorating. He is also dealing with grief from losing a friend recently, and with my own history of loss I feel qualified to comfort him and help navigate his emotions. He looks up to me, and I feel i have a responsibility to his heart not to hurt him, and to show him what a good relationship can be like. He also respects my boundaries sexually, and that grows a trust with him that I haven't felt in ages.

Of course, from the outside, it can seem weird with the 15 year gap between us, but I honestly don't feel we have to explain ourselves. We are both autonomous adults with realistic views, and are both simply enjoying each others company for however long that lasts. But until then, I am absolutely adoring this guy, and this honeymoon period of pure joy.

sexpig by night posted:

calling it 'looking for young mouth' is something that the Law and Order SVU writers room would reject as 'too on the nose' for the villain of the episode to say

Betty Wight posted:

Lol. I can hear Ice T saying “You mean she was lookin’ for young mouth?”

sexpig by night posted:

Stabler hearing a guy call it 'young mouth' and just instantly leaping across the interrogation table at him on instinct.

ram dass in hell posted:

KirbyKhan posted:

I forget if it was a covid thread or e/n thread or what, I found it through the QCS thread. I just know I will find it if I type "young mouth" into the search.

Ah yes https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3992313&userid=0&perpage=40&highlight=young,mouth,stabler&pagenumber=1

cinni is a goonnet who went to stapler's with her mama to pick up some office supplies and new zoomer boyfriend.

It was a wild reminder that e/n still exists and is a treasure.

Young mouth means nothing and was never uttered before this thread:

grieving for Gandalf posted:

fluffdaddy is now the anime forum mod

arts and craps posted:

Lol at this

Beeswax posted:

We made it 2½ pages before it turned into 2022 drama discussion, great job

The Shortest Path posted:

drat was that really this year? It feels like a lifetime ago.

Beeswax posted:

We made it 2½ pages before it turned into 2022 drama discussion, great job

The Saddest Rhino posted:

Who can out-chili my chili?

The Saddest Rhino posted:

Who can out-chili my chili?

quote:

1 teaspoon of black pepper (slightly racist)
1 21-ounce can of red beans and 1 21-ounce can of black beans (I have a dream)

pentyne posted:

When Kiwifarms was trying to doxx ZDR and ended up doxxing the goetse man

Paladinus posted:

I vaguely remember how someone went through their entire posting history and blanked every post, but I have no idea who or why. Maybe it was multiple people even. Does anybody know what I'm talking about?

Fsmhunk posted:

Thinking of the goon who pretended to be a cute girl in a wheelchair for attention. Anyone recall their name?

Leal posted:

Anyone got the saga of the goon who hated their "Water Cop" dad?

Brunch Covidian posted:

Tip: if you see a fire truck wailing by, look. Look to see if the firefighters are wearing helmets. If so, they're on their way to a fire. You'll wait a long time before seeing this. Honestly? Never.

If their heads are bare, they're going to a medical emergency. It's never the kind of medical emergency that requires five men and a fire truck.

However, no matter anything else, it's always the kind of medical emergency which adds to their call-out statistics, because houses don't burn down anymore, and if they do, the engineered materials ensure that there will be no point in trying to fight the fire.

They're paid very, very well to bunk together, play playstation, lift weights, and never, really, fight any fires.

Brunch Covidian posted:

To do what

Let them stay in their firehouse.

In your scenario, imagine that they were never there.

Does this prevent insurance payments.

What marginal value was added here? Rehabilitating a structure is more expensive than building a new one.

I'm sorry, but their job is to use their big shiny trucks and your money to protect property. Frankly, outside of ancient structures in old cities, building codes and insurance do their job for them, at pennies on the dollar.

They know they have no reason to exist. Really, they know. That's why they're Johnny on the spot with five men and a water truck for a medical emergency. It's why, in California, their union owns a film studio with over a dozen full time employees to do nothing but produce videos for or against politicians. Didn't know that? It's in Silver lake.

It's a thankless job, fire fighting, isn't it? That's why, if you should ever wish to be a firefighter, you'll need to volunteer, then serve at a volunteer fire agency, then, eventually, get on the gravy train and become a full benefit firefighter. You'll retire at fifty with full pay and medical.

IGgy IGsen posted:

tiny toese

Danaru posted:

I'll never pass up an excuse to repost this, makes me laugh every time

Triticum Guzzler posted:

[in sheriff john bunnell voice] THIS SICKO THOUGHT IT WAS A GOOD IDEA TO TAKE POWERFUL PAINKILLERS WHILST DRIVING. FOR A TIME, HE ESCAPED THE LAW, BUT WHAT HE DIDN'T COUNT ON WAS AN EXTRAJUDICIAL EXECUTION BY SOL, GIVER OF LIFE

pentyne posted:

TCC has some pretty notable incidents. The guy who cooked himself to death in his car is one.

Memorial Post for thatdamnjew and FYAD boneyard

It lead to one of the funniest things I've ever read.

The Saddest Rhino posted:

I've been working out!