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Order some Chinese takeout, then palm a pre-prepared fortune cookie with the message "Your boyfriend is breaking up with you" into her food.
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Jul 10, 2022 22:11
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| # ? May 9, 2024 01:16 |
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Become really obsessed with an MMO. You may need to spend a ton of money to make it convincing but it will be worth it.
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Jul 10, 2022 22:13
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Get addicted to World of Warcraft, Arthas needs you! E gently caress
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Jul 10, 2022 22:13
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In what ways do you think you can do better op?
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Jul 10, 2022 22:18
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Tell her you are into historical internet shock content recreation - you are going to do a series of photos and videos of the goatman and 1guy1jar, and you'd like her to do the eels, tubgirl and 2girls1cup. If that doesn't drive her away, you have to marry her and make the thread with all of it.
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Jul 10, 2022 22:19
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uxp0Kfgpft8
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Jul 10, 2022 22:21
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start making GBS threads with the door open
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Jul 10, 2022 22:22
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Yaldabaoth posted:Become really obsessed with an MMO. You may need to spend a ton of money to make it convincing but it will be worth it. This is an Inception level break up strat. She'll be running for the door before you even have time to clean up your piss jars.
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Jul 10, 2022 22:23
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Wait for the next birthday or anniversary and gift her a ludicrously expensive NFT. Make a big deal out of it too.
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Jul 10, 2022 22:29
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Seduce her dad
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Jul 10, 2022 22:30
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Tell her you found out you're cousins.
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Jul 10, 2022 22:35
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Babe I just spent $400 on this…no it’s not a toy. NO it’s not a joystick it’s a Flightstick and it will help me in StarCitizen.
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Jul 10, 2022 22:44
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"I feel that we are secure enough with our relationship that we can start opening it up to others."
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Jul 10, 2022 22:44
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tell her you're leaving her to date your cousin
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Jul 10, 2022 22:45
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The really optimal strategy requires violating some non proliferation treaties
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Jul 10, 2022 22:45
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Welcome to Dumpsville, baby, population: you!
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Jul 10, 2022 22:47
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gently caress her mom or dad or both
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Jul 10, 2022 22:47
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Confess you're gay
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Jul 10, 2022 22:47
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Put a toy in a jar and cum on it every day and leave it some place where she'll be sure to find it.
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Jul 10, 2022 22:50
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give her a breakup mix tape
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Jul 10, 2022 22:51
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becoming a heinous piece of poo poo, just lazy and slovenly + letting yourself go in gross ways is the right answer. she will grow disgusted with you and herself, and her leaving you will be empowering for her, improving her self confidence. it's called character development. empowering women. we rise by lifting others
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Jul 10, 2022 22:51
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set fire to her house then when she's freaking out about it later be like "lol that was me"
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Jul 10, 2022 22:51
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go on cameo and pay mark mcgrath to record a breakup message for her
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Jul 10, 2022 22:53
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Mr Interweb posted:i was thinking about doing this, but it would be pretty hosed up. i feel like when we break up she should be fully aware of it and not have any doubts lol this poo poo is pathetic
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Jul 10, 2022 22:58
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we're gonna meet up tonight and probably make out in her car, and i'm considering calling her "mommy" how effective enough to disgust her does that sound?
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Jul 10, 2022 22:59
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ABXtWqmArUU
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Jul 10, 2022 23:01
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send her a link to this thread
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Jul 10, 2022 23:02
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Mr Interweb posted:we're gonna meet up tonight and probably make out in her car, and i'm considering calling her "mommy" then do your best imitation of a crying baby and check her nipples for any involuntary lactation
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Jul 10, 2022 23:03
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neato burrito posted:How do you stay with someone for years and have the loving audacity to call the relationship "casual?" Seriously drat. I guess whatever you do you should start by apologizing for wasting her time.
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Jul 10, 2022 23:03
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my incel friends tell me that every woman has at least 3 potential boyfriends lined up at all times, so I think she should be ok
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Jul 10, 2022 23:04
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Mr Interweb posted:not sure if this is the right forum to ask this, but i've been going out with my gf for a few years now. i was intent on keeping things casual but seems she developed serious feelings for me, feelings that i unfortunately don't reciprocate. i never meant for things to go this far, but now i'm sort of stuck. but if i break up with her, it's going to be tremendously painful, and i'm not sure i can do it by simply telling her straight up. are there any better way s to go about it? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JHaWvHnZTzQ
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Jul 10, 2022 23:04
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neato burrito posted:How do you stay with someone for years and have the loving audacity to call the relationship "casual?" The Moon Monster posted:Seriously drat. I guess whatever you do you should start by apologizing for wasting her time. yeah it's hosed up but it wasn't intentional. we were almost about to break up a year ago but then she started crying and in order to spare her feelings i told her we could give it a shot for a bit longer
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Jul 10, 2022 23:06
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next time you see her, poo poo in your hand and just slap her as hard as you can with the turd. right on her cheek.
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Jul 10, 2022 23:08
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Talk about your feelings. Believe me fellas that makes a girl uninterested real quick.
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Jul 10, 2022 23:08
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Yaldabaoth posted:Become really obsessed with an MMO. You may need to spend a ton of money to make it convincing but it will be worth it.
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Jul 10, 2022 23:12
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Mr Interweb posted:yeah it's hosed up but it wasn't intentional. we were almost about to break up a year ago but then she started crying and in order to spare her feelings i told her we could give it a shot for a bit longer lol
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Jul 10, 2022 23:20
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so it's her fault for crying and guilt tripping you. you're definitely blameless here, op, nothing you could've done.
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Jul 10, 2022 23:22
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How fat are you both op?
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Jul 10, 2022 23:29
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poo poo yourself whilst getting your dilz suckled upon. 
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Jul 10, 2022 23:30
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| # ? May 9, 2024 01:16 |
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neato burrito posted:How do you stay with someone for years and have the loving audacity to call the relationship "casual?"
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Jul 10, 2022 23:36
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