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Mega64 posted:Tell us how making out with your mommy goes OP it's gonna be just like BTTF except after she says "it's like kissing my brother" she follows it up with "I miss kissing my brother"
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Jul 11, 2022 01:59
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| # ? May 9, 2024 02:31 |
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Gorillagram
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Jul 11, 2022 02:08
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Send her a breakup text while you're sitting right next to her on the couch
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Jul 11, 2022 02:15
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I want to hear a Paul Simon song about the Scorpion Faction now
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Jul 11, 2022 02:25
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Wifi Toilet posted:Send her a breakup text while you're busting inside some strange
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Jul 11, 2022 02:25
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Colonel Cancer posted:Tell her about you're favorite anime haha Came here to post this. But seriously, dating someone for YEARS and to your suprise they've developed feelings? Developed? Are you sure you don't mean "I've been with my gf for years but don't want to be in a relationship with her anymore"? Are you trying to not appear as a bad guy by claiming it was supposed to be one of those *ultra common years long casual dating no feelings situations*?
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Jul 11, 2022 02:45
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OP have you tried *not* putting out? Just go physically cold and ice her out but say nothing is wrong, like mommy would actually do.
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Jul 11, 2022 02:46
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I was terrible so my wife moved out to a 'temporary' apartment, saying it was just temporary repeatedly. Then, she quit talking to me entirely for a while, then came back with the "just because we couldn't be in a relationship doesn't mean we shouldn't still be friends" talk. Things you don't want to hear from your wife. That was not the least hurtful way to dump me, FYI.
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Jul 11, 2022 02:49
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You can just say "ksssshhhhhhh sorry ca- hear you, going int- a tunnel, signal is ba- kssssshhhhhh" Then just never speak again. It's a good way to make goodbyes with less stress. They might think you died but if the cops bother to check up you can explain it just was a breakup thing and  . They will get it. They know how to keep quiet.
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Jul 11, 2022 03:00
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Hire a mariachi band to sing “The Breakup Song” by The Greg Kihn Band outside her window.
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Jul 11, 2022 03:03
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You can also do the more advanced maneuver of placing a burning cross on her lawn and pretending to be KKK while yelling either slurs or calling her a race traitor (depending on their color), then doing the big hood reveal that it was you! It's hard but it works if you do it right. They will do the breakup. This one can backfire in multiple ways though if you aren't experienced or know them well enough. You might get other KKK guys showing up, then you can't do the reveal, and you just accidentally joined the KKK. Or she might be super into it, and then you are in even deeper with this problem.
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Jul 11, 2022 03:07
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murder suicide
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Jul 11, 2022 03:11
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You can also just stop showering and deliberately roll around in the garbage bin. See if you can get some blood on your face, smear it around. Don't wash that off either. If she asks you to get clean, just start mutter speaking in tongues while staring at the wall. Problem will solve itself, you don't need to be the bad guy doing the breakup. Just about convincing them to do it. Seriously did nobody teach you this in school?
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Jul 11, 2022 03:14
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honestly given the poo poo state of the world you could do worse than having someone who puts up with you
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Jul 11, 2022 03:15
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The Butcher posted:You can also do the more advanced maneuver of placing a burning cross on her lawn and pretending to be KKK while yelling either slurs or calling her a race traitor (depending on their color), then doing the big hood reveal that it was you! It's hard but it works if you do it right. They will do the breakup. What if she thinks the t stands for "time to get serious"?
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Jul 11, 2022 03:16
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Mr Interweb posted:i was not joking about the 'mommy' thing btw and why would you be? it's a great idea
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Jul 11, 2022 03:35
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it was kinda cruel to do this at all, and let it go on so long. personally I’ve been on the receiving end of this kind of thing so I’m very biased, but it only went on for half a year for me— I can’t imagine what years will do to her.
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Jul 11, 2022 03:40
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Start T posing and repeating sentences randomly. Make her believe she's living in a simulation so she feels like her whole life was a lie and not just the relationship with you.
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Jul 11, 2022 03:40
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op, however you choose to tell this person it's over, you should not tell her you've been harboring these thoughts for years. just omit that part when you break the news, for your own safety and hers.
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Jul 11, 2022 03:42
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unpleasantly turgid posted:it was kinda cruel to do this at all, and let it go on so long. personally I’ve been on the receiving end of this kind of thing so I’m very biased, but it only went on for half a year for me— I can’t imagine what years will do to her. this is also true, you're a horrible person OP
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Jul 11, 2022 03:42
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William Henry Hairytaint posted:this is also true, you're a horrible person OP 
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Jul 11, 2022 03:45
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fake urown death
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Jul 11, 2022 04:03
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im unbookmarking this thread OP good luck
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Jul 11, 2022 04:11
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William Henry Hairytaint posted:Honey doesn't spoil you dummy! Stop giving the OP bad advice this is serious! yea if you're doing it wrong.
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Jul 11, 2022 04:26
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Hi hello yes I've been in a relationship for years and haven't been taking it seriously but get this- the other person has! What am I supposed to do?! Woe is me!
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Jul 11, 2022 04:35
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Tell her your post count
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Jul 11, 2022 04:41
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Tell her that sorry, you feel you can do better than her. BUT soften the blow by failing to do better than her. That way, she doesn't feel as bad, and you get a newer, lovely (ugly?) partner. Win/win
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Jul 11, 2022 04:47
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Bitch, that rear end quits. And so do I.
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Jul 11, 2022 04:51
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okay going to meet her now. will report back with the results of Operation: Mommy Milkies soon wish me luck!
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Jul 11, 2022 04:59
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Mozi posted:honestly given the poo poo state of the world you could do worse than having someone who puts up with you
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Jul 11, 2022 05:00
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Mr Interweb posted:okay going to meet her now. will report back with the results of Operation: Mommy Milkies soon good luck op 🙏
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Jul 11, 2022 05:01
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Mr Interweb posted:okay going to meet her now. will report back with the results of Operation: Mommy Milkies soon starting to think the girlfriend doesn't exist
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Jul 11, 2022 05:10
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TIP posted:starting to think the girlfriend doesn't exist tihs thread is a creative writing exercise
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Jul 11, 2022 05:17
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TIP posted:starting to think the girlfriend doesn't exist This is probably the only time you"ll hear this but: unfortunately my girlfriend DOES exist
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Jul 11, 2022 05:25
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Mr Interweb posted:This is probably the only time you"ll hear this but: unfortunately my girlfriend DOES exist We are the girlfriend
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Jul 11, 2022 05:37
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There's another woman, and her name is Mangosteen.
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Jul 11, 2022 05:39
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hot cocoa on the couch posted:tihs thread is a creative writing exercise for the sake of the op's partner I hope you're right.
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Jul 11, 2022 05:41
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Obviously what will happen is that she'll go along with it to maintain the relationship even though she doesn't want to. Of course the OP will have to go along with it too. Enjoy your incest roleplay sex tonight.
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Jul 11, 2022 05:58
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Plan seems iffy. She might just think it's "mami"
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Jul 11, 2022 06:02
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i like nice words
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Funky See Funky Do posted:Obviously what will happen is that she'll go along with it to maintain the relationship even though she doesn't want to. Of course the OP will have to go along with it too. Enjoy your incest roleplay sex tonight. "Oh no! Anything but that! Please don't make me go through with mommy milky roleplay sex, that's the last thing I'd want to have happen! What a horrible sequence of events that would be for me, a man who doesn't want that to happen." - OP
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Jul 11, 2022 06:03
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