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Op accidently broke bird's bones while trying to catch it with a metal salad bowl and is ashamed to post updates 
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Jul 13, 2022 22:52
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| # ? May 12, 2024 17:09 |
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itry posted:Op accidently broke bird's bones while trying to catch it with a metal salad bowl and is ashamed to post updates this tracks 
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Jul 13, 2022 22:55
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Take the bird out to a nice restaurant. Ask it a lot of questions about itself and make sure to listen intently and careful. Be playfully flirty by not creepy. Make sure to subtly show interest in continuing this relationship, implying that you hope it turns into something serious. The next morning, text the bird that you "know you're supposed to wait 3 days or something, but you really enjoyed yourself". Over the next 5 days, continue texting with the bird about their day, what they are doing, and how you hope you can meet up soon. When the bird shows interest in making plans for the upcoming weekend, ghost the bird entirely. Don't respond at all. Wait several months, long enough for the bird to get over the sting of yet another "nice guy" who turned out to be the latest in a string of disappointments. Just long enough for the bird to be willing to give things another chance, get back on the apps, believe their is someone out there for them. Then text the bird at 3am with "Hey, you up?" Never respond again.
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Jul 13, 2022 22:55
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Bet there's a hungry kitty outside that would really enjoy a nice snack
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Jul 13, 2022 23:13
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OP has been pecked to death. 
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Jul 13, 2022 23:20
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BigBadSteve posted:OP has been drowned in Armangac and roasted in the oven. The bird ate him whole while hidden under a napkin.
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Jul 13, 2022 23:51
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how many more posters are we going to lose to baby birds before we learn our lesson?
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Jul 14, 2022 00:14
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Come get the baby swifts outta my chimney. They’re way too loud!
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Jul 15, 2022 03:13
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Pug Rodeo posted:Come get the baby swifts outta my chimney. They’re way too loud! Seriously, do you want them to murder you? You have to be very very quiet at home at all times, and give them whatever they want, until they grow up and fly away. You'll be safe then.
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Jul 15, 2022 03:29
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Play music it doesn’t like and cook chicken. 
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Jul 15, 2022 03:32
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Congrats you’re a parent now, you must offer your teat
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Jul 15, 2022 03:38
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I caught the bird with a towel and took it outside yesterday but then another got in and a lizard too 
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Jul 15, 2022 22:30
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Feed the bird to the lizard, then drown the lizard in Armagnac
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Jul 15, 2022 22:37
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Cheese Thief posted:I caught the bird with a towel and took it outside yesterday but then another got in and a lizard too you're house looks really old and really cool
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Jul 15, 2022 22:46
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Are you sure you're living inside a house and not in fact the woods?
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Jul 15, 2022 22:47
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Knormal posted:Are you sure you're living inside a house and not in fact the woods? There's a chance the OP is Snow White or a Dr Doolittle type.
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Jul 15, 2022 22:59
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Two birds and one lizard already? How many animals come into.your house in a year?
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Jul 15, 2022 23:07
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What in the heck Hi Radagast
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Jul 15, 2022 23:19
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That really skinks!
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Jul 15, 2022 23:22
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Smugworth posted:Capture the bird and feed it a fatty diet of crushed acorn and pork forcemeat. You have to save its life using bird CPR and then drown it again before you cook it. Roger Smith says so.
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Jul 15, 2022 23:42
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That looks very uncomfortable.
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Jul 21, 2022 13:10
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Cheese Thief posted:I caught the bird with a towel and took it outside yesterday but then another got in and a lizard too Maybe shut the door. Or keep collecting animals. That's cool too
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Jul 21, 2022 14:24
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| # ? May 12, 2024 17:09 |
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Open up your own zoo and charge $8 for a slice of pizza.
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Jul 21, 2022 15:12
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