animal trials

The Something Awful Forums > Main > BYOB: BYOB BYOB BOYB BBOY YOBB YBOB BBYO?? > animal trials

Nosfereefer: IF YOU FIND THIS POSTER OUTSIDE BYOB, PLEASE RETURN THEM. WE ARE VERY WORRIED AND WE MISS THEM

fact is, europeans have been bringing animals to court since at least the middle ages. a pig killed your infant child? you bet that pig is going to animal court!

while often considered ridiculous and for show, said animals sometimes even had defenders
according to wikipedia

quote:

in 1750, a female donkey was acquitted of charges of bestiality due to witnesses to the animal's virtue and good behaviour while her co-accused human was sentenced to death

which animal would you bring to court, and why

# ? Jul 20, 2022 19:23

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 11, 2024 20:54

Nosfereefer: IF YOU FIND THIS POSTER OUTSIDE BYOB, PLEASE RETURN THEM. WE ARE VERY WORRIED AND WE MISS THEM

for me, there's a breeding pair of magpies right outside my window who makes a lot of noise at night. i wish to sue them for damages to my person

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

# ? Jul 20, 2022 19:41

Buttchocks: No, I like my hat, thanks.

The spider in my bathroom, but it would be a civil trial rather than criminal. We have a written agreement that spiders are not to enter the bathroom.

# ? Jul 20, 2022 20:10

pixaal: All ice cream is now for all beings, no matter how many legs.

Buttchocks posted:

The spider in my bathroom, but it would be a civil trial rather than criminal. We have a written agreement that spiders are not to enter the bathroom.

Unless you have a stinky litter box in which case change the litter, a spider has no business in there rehome it near a drafty window!

sig by owlhawk911

# ? Jul 20, 2022 20:49

Kaiser Schnitzel: Schnitzel mit uns

Schnitzel v. The family of squirrels that ate his newly sprouted Chinese chestnuts on or about the 14th of April, 2019

https://i.imgur.com/R8ctked.mp4
ty Manifisto for this wonderful sig!

# ? Jul 20, 2022 20:57

pixaal: All ice cream is now for all beings, no matter how many legs.

All rise for the honorable Judge Cock-cock-a-doodle-doo

This here dog, if he can be called such, is accused of... piddling on the floor
aghast gasps of horror echo in the court
a good boy indeed...

sig by owlhawk911

# ? Jul 20, 2022 21:10

Ass-penny

can we litigate against flora instead of fauna? there's a number of plants of various species growing all around my house and the viney ones especially I'm concerned are damaging my siding.

# ? Jul 20, 2022 21:58

Nosfereefer: IF YOU FIND THIS POSTER OUTSIDE BYOB, PLEASE RETURN THEM. WE ARE VERY WORRIED AND WE MISS THEM

rear end-penny posted:

can we litigate against flora instead of fauna? there's a number of plants of various species growing all around my house and the viney ones especially I'm concerned are damaging my siding.

well, it's not like we are living in the ridiculous medieval times where people sued pigs. sue the plants imo

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

# ? Jul 21, 2022 00:14

FutonForensic

Putting the Big Bugs on trial for being too big

# ? Jul 21, 2022 14:53

pixaal: All ice cream is now for all beings, no matter how many legs.

Bugs you claim to be both Bug and Rabbit, but they are completely different one has bones the other doesn't!

hauls a big pot on the witness stand, brings it to a boil,gets in and starts slicing carrots

sig by owlhawk911

# ? Jul 21, 2022 14:58

xcheopis

pixaal posted:

Bugs you claim to be both Bug and Rabbit, but they are completely different one has bones the other doesn't!

hauls a big pot on the witness stand, brings it to a boil,gets in and starts slicing carrots

Defense attorney calls Mr. Moran as a witness.

# ? Jul 21, 2022 16:02

Nosfereefer: IF YOU FIND THIS POSTER OUTSIDE BYOB, PLEASE RETURN THEM. WE ARE VERY WORRIED AND WE MISS THEM

falsely accusing and later witnessing against my own dog for making a nasty fart on the couch

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

# ? Jul 21, 2022 17:23

Ass-penny

Nosfereefer posted:

falsely accusing and later witnessing against my own dog for making a nasty fart on the couch

framing your dog for my nasty beer farts

# ? Jul 21, 2022 19:21

FutonForensic

putting my best friend Jeff on the stand on animal trial for the crime of being an absolute Beast

# ? Jul 21, 2022 21:02

xcheopis

Lucky and Toaster stand accused of attempted murder, after I nearly had a heart attack from the adorable.

# ? Jul 21, 2022 21:17

Ass-penny

xcheopis posted:

Lucky and Toaster stand accused of attempted murder, after I nearly had a heart attack from the adorable.

# ? Jul 21, 2022 21:55

Ass-penny

But seriously look at this bastard

# ? Jul 21, 2022 21:57

Sherbert Hoover: Working hard, thank you!

Suing the cliff swallow that burst out of a civil war cannon I was inspecting the rifling of last week for egregious surprise

^{this sig is protected by Simsmagic!}

# ? Jul 21, 2022 23:21

Sherbert Hoover: Working hard, thank you!

rear end-penny posted:

But seriously look at this bastard

GUILTY

GUILTY

GUILTY

^{this sig is protected by Simsmagic!}

# ? Jul 21, 2022 23:22

xcheopis

Sherbert Hoover posted:

GUILTY

GUILTY

GUILTY

# ? Jul 21, 2022 23:31

baka of lathspell

*chameleon court*

can you identify the suspect?

*gestures towards a seemingly empty chair*

not this poo poo again

# ? Jul 22, 2022 01:21

Sherbert Hoover: Working hard, thank you!

now I may be just a simple animal lawyer, but I cannot wrap my head around how witnesses can all agree that a female frog killed mr greenyard, when my client, as you can plainly see, is a male frog

^{this sig is protected by Simsmagic!}

# ? Jul 22, 2022 01:26

Ass-penny

baka fwocka fwame posted:

*chameleon court*

can you identify the suspect?

*gestures towards a seemingly empty chair*

not this poo poo again

# ? Jul 22, 2022 01:39

google THIS

Now, Mr. Scruffy, remember that this plea deal is a one time offer. You'll get a slap on the paw, maybe have your nose rubbed in a shitstain, and then you can just walk away from this whole business. All you have to do is tell us, once and for all: Who let you and your friends out?

# ? Jul 22, 2022 04:44

Chewbecca: Just chillin' : )

A dog barked at me while I was walking past his fence and I want him held accountable for his crimes < :mad:

_{Thanks to Heather Papps for sweet sig, click for more hot lady action}

_{sigs by luvcow and Khanstant.

Click on Spoonville for a neat surprise}

_{(┛◉Д◉)┛彡┻━┻ #YesNutNovember - add this to your sig if you love and support BYOB's own nut}

# ? Jul 22, 2022 04:52

Sherbert Hoover: Working hard, thank you!

google THIS posted:

Now, Mr. Scruffy, remember that this plea deal is a one time offer. You'll get a slap on the paw, maybe have your nose rubbed in a shitstain, and then you can just walk away from this whole business. All you have to do is tell us, once and for all: Who let you and your friends out?

^{this sig is protected by Simsmagic!}

# ? Jul 22, 2022 05:00

google THIS

The bilateral class action lawsuits against geese and wasps are still ongoing

# ? Jul 22, 2022 15:12

Nosfereefer: IF YOU FIND THIS POSTER OUTSIDE BYOB, PLEASE RETURN THEM. WE ARE VERY WORRIED AND WE MISS THEM

suing the birds and the bees for lewd behaviour

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

# ? Jul 22, 2022 15:16

pixaal: All ice cream is now for all beings, no matter how many legs.

Animal, you are accused of playing the drums too loud in an apartment building on a Wednesday at 2AM how do you plee?

cuts back to Animal who now has drums, Animal starts slamming the drums as hard as possible

sig by owlhawk911

# ? Jul 22, 2022 15:20

google THIS

Here, piggy pig! I'm suuu-IIIIIIIIIIING you!

# ? Jul 22, 2022 15:43

Kaiser Schnitzel: Schnitzel mit uns

google THIS posted:

Here, piggy pig! I'm suuu-IIIIIIIIIIING you!

https://i.imgur.com/R8ctked.mp4
ty Manifisto for this wonderful sig!

# ? Jul 22, 2022 17:34

Sherbert Hoover: Working hard, thank you!

pixaal posted:

Animal, you are accused of playing the drums too loud in an apartment building on a Wednesday at 2AM how do you plee?

cuts back to Animal who now has drums, Animal starts slamming the drums as hard as possible

^{this sig is protected by Simsmagic!}

# ? Jul 22, 2022 19:21

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 11, 2024 20:54

Sherbert Hoover: Working hard, thank you!

feeling increasingly hopeless as the bird judge demands I wrap up my closing argument and the bird bailiff rounds up a good portion of the jury of my peers, who are busy trying to use a twig to get termites from a hole in the wall

^{this sig is protected by Simsmagic!}

# ? Jul 22, 2022 19:27

The Something Awful Forums > Main > BYOB: BYOB BYOB BOYB BBOY YOBB YBOB BBYO?? > animal trials