Alex Jones: A Sloppy, Disrespectful Mess

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > Alex Jones: A Sloppy, Disrespectful Mess

Xiahou Dun: Jul 16, 2009; We shall dive down through black abysses... and in that lair of the Deep Ones we shall dwell amidst wonder and glory forever.

Nelson Mandingo posted:

This was posted in another thread. So credit to whoever did so.

10/10 meltdown.

https://twitter.com/RonFilipkowski/status/1552808949535178752

Is he trying to do an impression of the announcer guy from Rome.

# ¿ Jul 29, 2022 06:51

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# ¿ May 15, 2024 19:04

Xiahou Dun: Jul 16, 2009; We shall dive down through black abysses... and in that lair of the Deep Ones we shall dwell amidst wonder and glory forever.

Chef Boyardeez Nuts posted:

If I were Jones' attorney I'd be preparing him to bend over and grab his ankles. The best thing he could do is be polite, circumspect, and soft spoken when under examination. Take the blame "for trusting people the wrong people" and emphasize at every opportunity that your business employees good people that shouldn't suffer for your mistakes.

It probably wouldn't work, mind you, but bombast isn't gonna lead to a good end.

If he tries that, what's his plan for when Mark stares him dead in the eyes and plays the clip from the deposition where he shouted that the jury needs to find out the truth behind Sandy Hook.

I'm assuming Mark has that basically hot keyed, because c'mon.

# ¿ Jul 29, 2022 07:03

Xiahou Dun: Jul 16, 2009; We shall dive down through black abysses... and in that lair of the Deep Ones we shall dwell amidst wonder and glory forever.

Deptfordx posted:

The whole hand gesture thing whilst orating was highly formalised in Rome.

If you studied rhetoric you were taught the correct gestures and when to use them in a precise way with defined meanings and customary usage etc.

I highly doubt Alex had that good a Classical education.

# ¿ Jul 29, 2022 15:29

Xiahou Dun: Jul 16, 2009; We shall dive down through black abysses... and in that lair of the Deep Ones we shall dwell amidst wonder and glory forever.

Reynal was naughty and has to go talk to the teacher in her office.

# ¿ Jul 29, 2022 15:36

Xiahou Dun: Jul 16, 2009; We shall dive down through black abysses... and in that lair of the Deep Ones we shall dwell amidst wonder and glory forever.

Deptfordx posted:

Which of the formulaic objections of KF have the Rob Dew deposition?

2.

It's the one in the middle. (PJW > Dew > Alex)

# ¿ Jul 29, 2022 15:38

Xiahou Dun: Jul 16, 2009; We shall dive down through black abysses... and in that lair of the Deep Ones we shall dwell amidst wonder and glory forever.

red19fire posted:

This camera guy is way too friendly with the defense.

He's a documentarian for HBO.

# ¿ Jul 29, 2022 15:51

Xiahou Dun: Jul 16, 2009; We shall dive down through black abysses... and in that lair of the Deep Ones we shall dwell amidst wonder and glory forever.

Owen, do you really think you want a fair application?

That doesn't end well.

# ¿ Jul 29, 2022 16:02

Xiahou Dun: Jul 16, 2009; We shall dive down through black abysses... and in that lair of the Deep Ones we shall dwell amidst wonder and glory forever.

I can�t be the only blond guy here who�s worried his beard looks like Owen Shroyer�s.

# ¿ Jul 29, 2022 16:09

Xiahou Dun: Jul 16, 2009; We shall dive down through black abysses... and in that lair of the Deep Ones we shall dwell amidst wonder and glory forever.

Vincent D'Onofrio is really going method in how he portrays Dan Badondi.

# ¿ Jul 29, 2022 16:24

Xiahou Dun: Jul 16, 2009; We shall dive down through black abysses... and in that lair of the Deep Ones we shall dwell amidst wonder and glory forever.

Bill, "The clip includes some racially charged language."

Judge, "Too late!"

# ¿ Jul 29, 2022 16:30

Xiahou Dun: Jul 16, 2009; We shall dive down through black abysses... and in that lair of the Deep Ones we shall dwell amidst wonder and glory forever.

Rinkles posted:

This stream isn't being (can't be?) archived, right?

It can be, but only with explicit permission from the judge.

Law&Crime (or whatever it's called) archives big chunks of it on youtube, for example.

# ¿ Jul 29, 2022 16:33

Xiahou Dun: Jul 16, 2009; We shall dive down through black abysses... and in that lair of the Deep Ones we shall dwell amidst wonder and glory forever.

Hollismason posted:

Link to the stream I wanna see this lol.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YEXC_o6g3uk

# ¿ Jul 29, 2022 16:35

Xiahou Dun: Jul 16, 2009; We shall dive down through black abysses... and in that lair of the Deep Ones we shall dwell amidst wonder and glory forever.

SalTheBard posted:

Who is on the witness stand right now?

A retired journalist who is an expert witness on how journalists actually do things like with ethics and stuff.

# ¿ Jul 29, 2022 16:38

Xiahou Dun: Jul 16, 2009; We shall dive down through black abysses... and in that lair of the Deep Ones we shall dwell amidst wonder and glory forever.

Holy crap. This guy has been doing the gently caress out of some due diligence.

Attending the depositions since 2019???

# ¿ Jul 29, 2022 16:42

Xiahou Dun: Jul 16, 2009; We shall dive down through black abysses... and in that lair of the Deep Ones we shall dwell amidst wonder and glory forever.

El Fideo posted:

God I cannot wait to see what questions Reynal has for this guy.

"Can you help me find my penis? The bearded guy ate it while shouting, 'Mmm-mmm, gummy worms!' "

# ¿ Jul 29, 2022 17:07

Xiahou Dun: Jul 16, 2009; We shall dive down through black abysses... and in that lair of the Deep Ones we shall dwell amidst wonder and glory forever.

StrangersInTheNight posted:

is this the same judge who was in the video discovering he was on the air when his defense lawyer said he was sick? if so she is gonna be super pissed

That was in CT.

# ¿ Jul 29, 2022 17:28

Xiahou Dun: Jul 16, 2009; We shall dive down through black abysses... and in that lair of the Deep Ones we shall dwell amidst wonder and glory forever.

Grand Fromage posted:

I just tuned in, who the gently caress is this guy?

Retired journalist doing the whistle-stop version of the concept of journalistic ethics.

# ¿ Jul 29, 2022 17:33

Xiahou Dun: Jul 16, 2009; We shall dive down through black abysses... and in that lair of the Deep Ones we shall dwell amidst wonder and glory forever.

"But like, is harm even real? What even is defamation?"

# ¿ Jul 29, 2022 17:37

Xiahou Dun: Jul 16, 2009; We shall dive down through black abysses... and in that lair of the Deep Ones we shall dwell amidst wonder and glory forever.

Trillhouse posted:

lmao he really tried to call it a mistrial

Motherfucker has done that every 2-3 hours since Tuesday.

# ¿ Jul 29, 2022 18:03

Xiahou Dun: Jul 16, 2009; We shall dive down through black abysses... and in that lair of the Deep Ones we shall dwell amidst wonder and glory forever.

Uh oh. Evidence is coming in that Jordan may in fact be the real monster here :

https://twitter.com/gotobedjordan/status/1553073474155020288?s=20&t=tUZa5BHQSpsDEn_lE7LeUw

# ¿ Jul 29, 2022 19:12

Xiahou Dun: Jul 16, 2009; We shall dive down through black abysses... and in that lair of the Deep Ones we shall dwell amidst wonder and glory forever.

Grand Fromage posted:

Button mushrooms can get hosed. And those are probably also canned ones so double hosed

Mu'er are one of the most constant ingredients in egg rolls.

Also yeah, obviously, button mushrooms suck poo poo. Because they're sad compromise mushrooms for whiney children who won't eat an actual mushroom with flavor.

# ¿ Jul 29, 2022 19:25

Xiahou Dun: Jul 16, 2009; We shall dive down through black abysses... and in that lair of the Deep Ones we shall dwell amidst wonder and glory forever.

O poo poo.

Looks like we got us a proper lawyer fight.

# ¿ Jul 29, 2022 19:54

Xiahou Dun: Jul 16, 2009; We shall dive down through black abysses... and in that lair of the Deep Ones we shall dwell amidst wonder and glory forever.

is there some way we can give the judge laser eyes

# ¿ Jul 29, 2022 20:21

Xiahou Dun: Jul 16, 2009; We shall dive down through black abysses... and in that lair of the Deep Ones we shall dwell amidst wonder and glory forever.

Ah poo poo Kit mothafukken Daniels.

how are they going to get tissues into the tv screen.

# ¿ Jul 29, 2022 21:01

Xiahou Dun: Jul 16, 2009; We shall dive down through black abysses... and in that lair of the Deep Ones we shall dwell amidst wonder and glory forever.

mojo1701a posted:

Holy poo poo I'd forgotten about that.

I need to listen to those episodes again.

I mainlined all of them back to back in preparation for this.

For anyone else who forgot this or didn't listen : buckle THE gently caress UP.

# ¿ Jul 29, 2022 21:04

Xiahou Dun: Jul 16, 2009; We shall dive down through black abysses... and in that lair of the Deep Ones we shall dwell amidst wonder and glory forever.

ryde posted:

I don't understand the question.

Edit: I assume you're talking about Knowledge Fight, and if so which episode in Knowledge Fight talked about this?

Pour vous, mon ami : https://knowledgefight.libsyn.com/664-formulaic-objections-part-5

# ¿ Jul 29, 2022 21:07

Xiahou Dun: Jul 16, 2009; We shall dive down through black abysses... and in that lair of the Deep Ones we shall dwell amidst wonder and glory forever.

ryde posted:

Did the prosecution mess up and accidentally depose a chat bot?

I can almost* feel bad for Kit because he really does come off as just the dumbest motherfucker who has no idea what he's doing or where he is. He's like the pyro from TF2 but with racism and false flags.

*Almost

# ¿ Jul 29, 2022 21:14

Xiahou Dun: Jul 16, 2009; We shall dive down through black abysses... and in that lair of the Deep Ones we shall dwell amidst wonder and glory forever.

ryde posted:

I'm just learning about all of these details now, and finding out about the InfoWars Cinematic Universe has been a trip.

ONE OF US ONE OF US GOOBLE GOBBLE GOOBLE GOBBLE

# ¿ Jul 29, 2022 21:23

Xiahou Dun: Jul 16, 2009; We shall dive down through black abysses... and in that lair of the Deep Ones we shall dwell amidst wonder and glory forever.

Tree Dude posted:

I am now shipping Mark Bankston and this expert witness.

Hey now.

Don't be taking away my future spouse.

# ¿ Jul 29, 2022 21:27

Xiahou Dun: Jul 16, 2009; We shall dive down through black abysses... and in that lair of the Deep Ones we shall dwell amidst wonder and glory forever.

SilvergunSuperman posted:

Thread needs more family chili recipes imo

People spend too much time talking about ingredients when the actual quality of chili is technique and patience.

I don't have a recipe, but the sketch is :

You brown the beef or whatever meat you're using heavily, preferably in a cast iron pot. An enameled bouillabaisse form is perfect for this

Then you toss in diced onions. The amount I go by is the same my Oma taught me for goulasch : "dice onions until you want a cigarette" i.e. an insane amount of onions

Then you combine your aromatics into a crude spice paste ; your paprika, chili powder, chipotles in adobo, tomato paste, etc. Definitely lots of garlic, same rule as onions.

You do this in chapters, you brown the meat, then push that to the sides of the pot and make a well in the middle for the onions. Then push that aside and do it for the spice paste.

Add whatever veggies, beans, etc. in there now, then cover with broth and bring to a light boil. Make it good broth ; Better Than Bouillon at a bare minimum, if not bone stock*. Reduce to a light simmer and do extra tuning on the flavor. A couple of spoons of vinegar or Worcestershire sauce are good additions, as well as a bouquet garnis or any other herbs you like. Fresh rosemary sprigs can be really good, but are divisive so know your audience.

Let that simmer for hours. The longer you let it go, the better your flavor and the more tender your meat.

An hour before you want to eat, crank the heat up to high and reduce the chili. DO NOT ADD STARCH YOU FUCKER. It's the cheapest way to change the texture, at the cost of flavor. We're reducing this bad boy to get the best of both worlds. Just keep stirring and reducing until you're happy, like an hour, beating off anyone trying to take some because it's going to smell amazing.

Use this time to make a skillet cornbread cause you're gonna be next to the stove for a while. Serve with cheese, sour cream and minced chives. For decadence you can fry wedges of cornbread in butter until crispy then dip that into the chili.

*You make other meat right? Do you have a freezer? Keep your bones in a ziploc in the freezer and use that for stock : every time you make some ribs or whatever, you should be planning ahead for this.

# ¿ Jul 29, 2022 21:43

Xiahou Dun: Jul 16, 2009; We shall dive down through black abysses... and in that lair of the Deep Ones we shall dwell amidst wonder and glory forever.

uh where the gently caress did the judge go

# ¿ Jul 29, 2022 22:10

Xiahou Dun: Jul 16, 2009; We shall dive down through black abysses... and in that lair of the Deep Ones we shall dwell amidst wonder and glory forever.

Your Gay Uncle posted:

Just make sure you wash the skillet in the dishwasher on high before doing any recipes with dough

Please never touch any of my cookware.

# ¿ Jul 29, 2022 22:22

Xiahou Dun: Jul 16, 2009; We shall dive down through black abysses... and in that lair of the Deep Ones we shall dwell amidst wonder and glory forever.

But don't you HATE ALEX JONES YOU LEFTY BITCH?!@?@?@?@?@?

-Shitball

# ¿ Jul 29, 2022 22:31

Xiahou Dun: Jul 16, 2009; We shall dive down through black abysses... and in that lair of the Deep Ones we shall dwell amidst wonder and glory forever.

MARK AND BECCA FOR PRESIDENTS FOR LIFE

# ¿ Jul 29, 2022 22:47

Xiahou Dun: Jul 16, 2009; We shall dive down through black abysses... and in that lair of the Deep Ones we shall dwell amidst wonder and glory forever.

Did Reynal just gently caress up basic addition?

# ¿ Jul 29, 2022 22:50

Xiahou Dun: Jul 16, 2009; We shall dive down through black abysses... and in that lair of the Deep Ones we shall dwell amidst wonder and glory forever.

I'm expecting something to happen after this is over with the lawyer.

# ¿ Jul 29, 2022 22:53

Xiahou Dun: Jul 16, 2009; We shall dive down through black abysses... and in that lair of the Deep Ones we shall dwell amidst wonder and glory forever.

teen witch posted:

heads up I am having a well deserved drink after that good lord

Have one for me too, please.

# ¿ Jul 29, 2022 22:55

Xiahou Dun: Jul 16, 2009; We shall dive down through black abysses... and in that lair of the Deep Ones we shall dwell amidst wonder and glory forever.

Mr. Nice! posted:

Technically it already has. The filing of bankruptcy comes with an automatic stay on any pending litigation in state or federal courts. All Jones has to do is file a "Notice of Removal" to the court and they are literally stripped of authority to do anything.

Jones, in an attempt to keep his bankruptcy from being tossed immediately as bad faith, filed an emergency motion so that this stay is lifted and this trial will not be interrupted. He did not do the same in CT because he wants to interrupt that trial. In TX his damages are capped at $150,750,000 since the jury is just going to give plaintiffs what they asked and punitive damages will be capped as a matter of law to $750k.

Just a clarification question if you don't mind since you're smarter than me :

There's the 150$ million that the plaintiffs have requested, then the concept of punitive damages floating around with its own 750,000$ max? (Still curious what Abbott's obviously lovely and, I assume, false reason for doing this is according to his own right wing fiction, but setting that aside.)

So I understand that the jury has to be kept uninformed about this cap so they can't just shift the money around* and give the plaintiffs 11-ty billion$ instead of 150,000,000$... but what if they just decided to do it on their own? Like next week the jury foreman, completely independently, manages to get everyone on board with "gently caress Alex, Shitball McMullet made us watch so much of his show, he's gonna pay!" and they spend jury deliberations collaborating on just writing more 0s on the end of the amount due. There's obviously some maximum just cause there's a non infinite amount of money in the world, but I'm assuming there's another thing before that.

*This actually raises a bunch of questions too if you happen to have any answers to that as well. Like, sure the court can't tell them, but what happens in 10 years when this might not be common knowledge but isn't obscure anymore. Or like, what if I pay to have it sky-written above the courthouse as the jury is leaving for the day next Monday? Would Texas even try to do something to me over here in New York?

# ¿ Jul 30, 2022 02:43

Xiahou Dun: Jul 16, 2009; We shall dive down through black abysses... and in that lair of the Deep Ones we shall dwell amidst wonder and glory forever.

Zil posted:

The judge doesn't want them recorded officially, live stream only.

You would have to find a less than legal recording to watch it now.

Anyone want to make a friendly wager about whether or not this is going to turn into evidence of a conspiracy theory and Alex is gonna be wearing a barrel and shouting about how the judge filled the courtroom with trendy, demon-feasting democrats having an orgy?

# ¿ Jul 30, 2022 02:55

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# ¿ May 15, 2024 19:04

Xiahou Dun: Jul 16, 2009; We shall dive down through black abysses... and in that lair of the Deep Ones we shall dwell amidst wonder and glory forever.

Klyith posted:

They can but giving more than the plaintiff asked for means the judge might reduce it back down, and an appeal will definitely reduce it.

I think the jury having a good reason and explanation for why they are awarding whatever amount they decide on is pretty important to making it stand up. "Alex Jones is a huge rear end in a top hat" is true but sadly not against the law.

I think this is not a specific "jury can't know about the damage cap" and more like "jury isn't supposed to know more than the judge's instructions about damages in general". They're supposed to be neutral at every part of the process. Like, if the Newton parents are actually super-rich, or Alex Jones actually makes almost zero money from infowars, I think they're not supposed to know that.

Ah, okay. Thank you.

So how much does sky-writing cost? Does anyone know? Do I get to pick the font or is it pretty fixed?

# ¿ Jul 30, 2022 04:21

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