Alex Jones: A Sloppy, Disrespectful Mess

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > Alex Jones: A Sloppy, Disrespectful Mess

teen witch: Oct 9, 2012

alex jones is turbofucked because he decided to do a few defamation against the parents of kids killed in Sandy Hook. How hosed? Lets watch. this'll be a distressing, but interesting watch, as for once, this is alex jones facing the music.

Today�s (6 October) stream:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i5bjbws3DEg

This is in the description.

PLEASE NOTE: L&C has turned off the comments section on the Alex Jones stream due to threatening comments toward victims' families.

Most of the CT hearings will be at the above channel

:siren:

PLEASE READ, THIS APPLIES FORUMWIDE :siren:

quote:

Hello, goons!!!!!!

Alex Jones is getting brutally slaughtered in court, whether he knows it or not.

There is a zoom feed of the trial streaming when court is in session, however the judge has specifically asked that the feed not be ripped nor video or screen caps shared.

Should that rule not be followed, we risk access to the livestream.

Now a bunch of six piece chicken mcnobodies are ripping and sharing and that�s on them, fine, but please do not share them here, nor share your videos or images here.

There is a media outlet that has written permission to record and upload videos, and you can share from them. Don�t look at the comments.

https://youtube.com/c/LawCrimeNetwork

Let me know if you catch it anywhere in GBS, and I�m going to run it up to the other mods and admins. Don�t ruin this for everyone else.

more info to come here once more is posted. i recommend you check out knowledge fight, a podcast devoted to the study of Jones,his beliefs and his universe. There�s also a thread for it I. RGD!

Piell posted:

A livetweet thread from the host of Knowledge Fight (a podcast about the Alex Jones show) who is at the trial, for those who want to catch up with what has happened so far.
https://twitter.com/gotobedjordan/status/1551937579473420290

Wolfgang Halbig emails heads up, rouuuugh listens

Piell posted:

Daria's deposition is Episode 641: Formulaic Objections part 4, though I don't have any specific timestamps

KitConstantine posted:

It's episode 641, or Formulaic objections Part 4. Alex is up first then Daria is also deposed in the episode. Time stamp for the Halbig email to the non-verbal child's mother is 2:12:30. This leads into multiple other Halbig emails

From July 26th

Nelson Mandingo posted:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ptP2FbsYDDc <- Plaintiff opening statements.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jxD2XSZfrlE <- Alex Jones Defense Attorney opening statements. (Which I believe the judge ended up throwing out because it wasn't factual lol)

August 3rd: When the bomb drops about the phone backup

SalTheBard posted:

In case anyone that didn't see the thread wants to see it,

https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=4008312&userid=0&perpage=40&pagenumber=102#post525291340

Here is where the nuclear bomb drops about getting the phone

KitEdit: Chilis of Forgetting, courtesy of Something Awful goons:

Note:

KitConstantine posted:

The Alex Jones Sucks Commemarative Chili Cookoff thread is now live

SpaceViking posted:

SpaceViking's Chili of Forgetting:

1lb. Ground Beef
1lb. Ground Breakfast Sausage
6 tbsp chili powder
1 tbsp cumin
2 tsp smoked paprika
1 large yellow onion, chopped finely
5 cloves garlic crushed
3/4 tsp mexican oregano
1 tsp salt
1.5 tsp ground mustard
1.5 tsp cayenne pepper (for more kick, can be omitted for a milder version)
2 tbsp masa harina (corn flour)
8 oz. water.

Brown meats, add onion, drain half of the fat.
Add the rest of the ingredients in a mixing bowl and mix until you have a spice paste.
Dump spice paste into meat and onion mixture, stir well, bring to simmer.
Simmer as long as you want, but at least one hour, stirring every 30 minutes.

Can be scaled with no problems, freezes/stores well in the fridge or freezer. I usually make two batches at a time.

bird with big dick posted:

This is my grandpas chili recipe it�s really good. Makes a huge amount though might want to halve it.

3 tablespoons bacon grease or canola oil
2 tablespoons unsalted butter
3 Anaheim chiles, roasted, peeled, chopped
3 poblano chiles, roasted, peeled, chopped
2 red bell peppers, diced
2 jalapenos chiles, minced
2 yellow onions, diced
1 head garlic, minced
1 pound boneless chuck, trimmed and cut into 1/4-inch cubes
2 pounds ground beef, coarse grind
1 pound bulk Italian sausage
3 tablespoons chili powder
2 teaspoons cayenne pepper
2 teaspoons ground coriander
2 teaspoons ground cumin
2 teaspoons granulated garlic
2 teaspoons granulated onion
2 teaspoons hot paprika
2 teaspoons kosher salt
2 teaspoons freshly ground black pepper
2 cups tomato sauce
1 cup tomato paste
12 ounces lager beer
1 cup chicken stock
Two 15.5-ounce cans kidney beans, with juice
Two 15.5-ounce cans pinto beans, with juice

Xiahou Dun posted:

People spend too much time talking about ingredients when the actual quality of chili is technique and patience.

I don't have a recipe, but the sketch is :

You brown the beef or whatever meat you're using heavily, preferably in a cast iron pot. An enameled bouillabaisse form is perfect for this

Then you toss in diced onions. The amount I go by is the same my Oma taught me for goulasch : "dice onions until you want a cigarette" i.e. an insane amount of onions

Then you combine your aromatics into a crude spice paste ; your paprika, chili powder, chipotles in adobo, tomato paste, etc. Definitely lots of garlic, same rule as onions.

You do this in chapters, you brown the meat, then push that to the sides of the pot and make a well in the middle for the onions. Then push that aside and do it for the spice paste.

Add whatever veggies, beans, etc. in there now, then cover with broth and bring to a light boil. Make it good broth ; Better Than Bouillon at a bare minimum, if not bone stock*. Reduce to a light simmer and do extra tuning on the flavor. A couple of spoons of vinegar or Worcestershire sauce are good additions, as well as a bouquet garnis or any other herbs you like. Fresh rosemary sprigs can be really good, but are divisive so know your audience.

Let that simmer for hours. The longer you let it go, the better your flavor and the more tender your meat.

An hour before you want to eat, crank the heat up to high and reduce the chili. DO NOT ADD STARCH YOU FUCKER. It's the cheapest way to change the texture, at the cost of flavor. We're reducing this bad boy to get the best of both worlds. Just keep stirring and reducing until you're happy, like an hour, beating off anyone trying to take some because it's going to smell amazing.

Use this time to make a skillet cornbread cause you're gonna be next to the stove for a while. Serve with cheese, sour cream and minced chives. For decadence you can fry wedges of cornbread in butter until crispy then dip that into the chili.

*You make other meat right? Do you have a freezer? Keep your bones in a ziploc in the freezer and use that for stock : every time you make some ribs or whatever, you should be planning ahead for this.

Seth Pecksniff posted:

I like my ex's chili recipe because it's pretty simple

1 lb ground beef
1 packet taco seasoning (hot or gtfo)
1 can dark red kidney beans and light red kidney beans
1 14 oz can of rotel chilis
1 28 oz can of whole steamed tomatoes
whatever other spices you want (paprika, cayenne, etc)

1) Brown the ground beef
2) drain the fat
3) dump all the rest of the ingredients in there and stir
4) let it sit on low for like 20-30 mins, or however long you want
5) eat! She ate it with rice, which I never did before meeting her but I actually don't mind it?

Klyith posted:

Chipotle-Lime Pork Chili

2-2.5 lbs pork - boneless country ribs
3c yellow onions, diced
2-3 poblano peppers, chopped
5 cloves garlic
1 can chipotle peppers in adobo sauce
19oz can Diced tomato
Canned beans, drained (I like 1 big can black + 1 small can pinto)
1/2 small can tomato paste
1 Lime - zest and juice

1. 4+ hours ahead of cooking, cut pork into chunks & coat with spices:
- coarse salt
- chili powder
- coriander
- garlic powder

2. In a dutch oven, brown pork in hot oil.

3. When pork is done, remove to large bowl. Deglaze pot with some of the beer you're drinking. Pour the deglaze, the peppers & adobo sauce, and lime zest over pork and toss it a bit to mix it up and coat the pork.

4. Back to pot, sautee onions, then add poblanos & garlic. Add some thyme, cumin, oregano, whatever other spices you like. Maybe a tbsp of brown sugar. Sautee until onions are lightly browned.

5. Add tomato, beans, tomato paste, simmer 10 minutes.

6. Add pork, simmer 5 min, add lime juice at end.

7. Eat, forget that Alex Jones exists for 15 minutes because this chili is just that good.

boar guy posted:

this chili wins money

2 teaspoons oil
2 onions, chopped
3 cloves garlic, minced
1 lb lean ground beef
3/4 lb beef sirloin, cubed
1 (14 1/2 ounce) can diced tomatoes
1 can dark beer
1 cup strong coffee
2 (6 ounce) cans tomato paste
1 can beef broth
1/2 cup brown sugar
3 1/2 tablespoons chili sauce
1 tablespoon cumin
1 tablespoon cocoa
1 teaspoon oregano
1 teaspoon cayenne
1 teaspoon coriander
1 teaspoon salt
4 (15 ounce) cans kidney beans
4 chili peppers, chopped

oil
garlic
onions
ground beef
sirloin
tomatoes
beer
coffee
tomato paste
beef broth
spices
peppers
beans
boil, reduce heat, simmer for 90
add other two beans
low simmer

Luxrage posted:

Chili Tax:

boar guy posted:

super secret michigan regional coney chili recipes incoming

Jackson Coney Island Sauce

1-1/2 pounds ground beef heart
1 Tbsp vegetable oil
2 tsp garlic salt
2 tsp chili powder
2 tsp cumin powder
2 tsp paprika

Brown the meat in the vegetable oil but do not drain it. Once it�s browned, add the spices. Also add just enough water to moisten the sauce, maybe a few tablespoons. Simmer the sauce for 30 minutes, stirring occasionally, until it�s somewhat dryer, while being careful not to let it dry completely. Served over grilled hot dogs having natural casings (Koegel Viennas). Mustard and finely chopped onion are the preferred toppings.

Detroit Coney Island Sauce

1 pound beef heart, finely ground
1/2 pound chuck, finely ground
1/4 cup rendered beef suet
1/4 cup water
2 tsp garlic salt
2 tsp chili powder
2 tsp cumin powder
2 tsp paprika
1/4 cup cracker meal

Brown the beef heart and ground chuck in the suet but do not drain it. Once it�s browned, add the water and the spices. Simmer the sauce for 30 minutes, stirring occasionally and adding more water if necessary to keep it wet. Once the sauce is simmered, add the cracker meal to tighten it up but not too much. Served over grilled hot dogs having natural casings (Dearborn Brand). Mustard and finely chopped onon are the preferred toppings.

Flint Coney Island Sauce

1/2 lb Beef kidney, finely ground
1/2 lb Beef heart, finely ground
1/4 cup rendered beef suet or lard
3 tbsp of paprika
2 tbsp of chili powder
Kosher salt
Fresh ground pepper

In a small pot melt the rendered beef suet or lard. In a large mixing bowl mix all but the salt and pepper by hand. Gently crumble the meat mixture into a medium pot, add the melted fat and stir well. Set for low heat and allow the pot to heat up. Simmer over low heat for about 45 minutes, adding suet or lard as necessary to prevent the meat from drying out. When the simmer is done, add salt and pepper to taste and finish stirring. Served over grilled hot dogs having natural casings (Koegel Viennas). Mustard and finely chopped onion are the preferred toppings.

also- mushrooms in chili, get. the. gently caress. out. of. here.

teen witch fucked around with this message at 15:30 on Oct 6, 2022

# ? Jul 26, 2022 16:22

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# ? Apr 29, 2024 01:35

haljordan: Oct 22, 2004; the corpse of god is love.

He's already declared bankruptcy and moved all his assets to shell corporations, good luck collecting anything

edit: never mind this plan apparently failed, good gently caress that guy

https://www.reuters.com/legal/litigation/alex-jones-infowars-agrees-dismiss-bankruptcy-2022-06-02/

# ? Jul 26, 2022 16:25

Piell: Sep 3, 2006; Grey Worm's Ken doll-like groin throbbed with the anticipatory pleasure that only a slightly warm and moist piece of lemoncake could offer; Young Orc

A livetweet thread from the host of Knowledge Fight (a podcast about the Alex Jones show) who is at the trial, for those who want to catch up with what has happened so far.
https://twitter.com/gotobedjordan/status/1551937579473420290

Edit:

haljordan posted:

He's already declared bankruptcy and moved all his assets to shell corporations, good luck collecting anything

This attempt already went down in flames, the courts saw through it

# ? Jul 26, 2022 16:25

Billy Ray Blowjob: Nov 30, 2011; by Pragmatica

this thread sucks

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

# ? Jul 26, 2022 16:25

KitConstantine: Jan 11, 2013

haljordan posted:

He's already declared bankruptcy and moved all his assets to shell corporations, good luck collecting anything

That bankruptcy claim was already thrown out and all the shell corporations tied back to jones, so my understanding is that avenue is essentially closed to him.

Ironically enough tho it's closed in large part because he declared bankruptcy prior to the judgement actually coming down which is just :lol:

too perfect

# ? Jul 26, 2022 16:27

haljordan: Oct 22, 2004; the corpse of god is love.

Piell posted:

A livetweet thread from the host of Knowledge Fight (a podcast about the Alex Jones show) who is at the trial, for those who want to catch up with what has happened so far.
https://twitter.com/gotobedjordan/status/1551937579473420290

Edit:

This attempt already went down in flames, the courts saw through it

Yeah I just saw the story, good I hope he winds up homeless

The NRA tried the same thing and it was equally pathetic

# ? Jul 26, 2022 16:27

Billy Ray Blowjob: Nov 30, 2011; by Pragmatica

How were those first two replies ready so fast

# ? Jul 26, 2022 16:28

Zeluth: May 12, 2001; by Fluffdaddy

I only shot a .22 gauge but I am good at arrows.

# ? Jul 26, 2022 16:28

Revins: Nov 2, 2007; tune the FM in to static and pretend that its the sea

haljordan posted:

I hope he winds up homeless

# ? Jul 26, 2022 16:29

kntfkr: Feb 11, 2019; GOOSE FUCKER

Alex got some coJones

# ? Jul 26, 2022 16:29

teen witch: Oct 9, 2012

I hope Alex is condemned to be around the most irritating of his fans forever. No narcissistic supply of attention, just nonstop vein popping annoyance

# ? Jul 26, 2022 16:30

Zil: Jun 4, 2011; Satanically Summoned Citrus

Hope they force him to sell his ridiculous truck to pay the fines. And all of his camera equipment.

# ? Jul 26, 2022 16:31

KitConstantine: Jan 11, 2013

Billy Ray Blowjob posted:

this thread sucks

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

it's a CONSPIRACY :tinfoil:

# ? Jul 26, 2022 16:31

That DICK!: Sep 28, 2010

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KxNGMvNIvP8

# ? Jul 26, 2022 16:31

haljordan: Oct 22, 2004; the corpse of god is love.

Last time I saw a video of Alex Jones it was him screaming at some teenage kid working at a city park who could not have given less of a gently caress lol. Pretty sure it was over a mask mandate.

# ? Jul 26, 2022 16:32

teen witch: Oct 9, 2012

I�ll allow some Alex Jones shitposting if wise and well done, but keep in mind as to why he�s in court and how goddamn disgusting it is what he did and enabled

With that

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iQtc36eZOWU

# ? Jul 26, 2022 16:32

Seth Pecksniff: May 27, 2004; Can't post for 4 hours!

if you wanna see how much Jones has changed over the years

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uVqOC-G_Qqw

# ? Jul 26, 2022 16:32

Robo Reagan: Feb 12, 2012; by Fluffdaddy

jones gonna lose hard then get arrested when he riles his fans up and they start trying to intimidate the judge lol

# ? Jul 26, 2022 16:33

Caesar Saladin: Aug 15, 2004

This lawyer guy is just ripping him to shreds, its awesome.

# ? Jul 26, 2022 16:33

haljordan: Oct 22, 2004; the corpse of god is love.

He's a bold man who pioneered the "I ate a bunch of chili and forgot" defense

# ? Jul 26, 2022 16:33

Revins: Nov 2, 2007; tune the FM in to static and pretend that its the sea

p sure the last time I saw him on video was a clip where some random dude saw him in public and shouted "Hey gently caress you!!" at him and alex dropped everything he was doing to have his camera crew and entourage start following and trying to intimidate this dude like a big thick skinned man

# ? Jul 26, 2022 16:34

flubber nuts: Oct 5, 2005

one of my best high school buds was a big alex jones fan and turned out to be a covid denialist. rip. should have seen that one coming i guess.

https://youtu.be/9kAEoCHANYY

# ? Jul 26, 2022 16:35

Seth Pecksniff: May 27, 2004; Can't post for 4 hours!

Should they be showing the jurors like that? Like I feel like that's a problem

# ? Jul 26, 2022 16:35

haljordan: Oct 22, 2004; the corpse of god is love.

Revins posted:

p sure the last time I saw him on video was a clip where some random dude saw him in public and shouted "Hey gently caress you!!" at him and alex dropped everything he was doing to have his camera crew and entourage start following and trying to intimidate this dude like a big thick skinned man

Imagine seeing Alex Jones in public and NOT yelling gently caress you at him

# ? Jul 26, 2022 16:36

Revins: Nov 2, 2007; tune the FM in to static and pretend that its the sea

haljordan posted:

Imagine seeing Alex Jones in public and NOT yelling gently caress you at him

# ? Jul 26, 2022 16:36

haljordan: Oct 22, 2004; the corpse of god is love.

Seth Pecksniff posted:

Should they be showing the jurors like that? Like I feel like that's a problem

Yeah usually the camera is set up so you never see any of the jury, that's odd

At least they were smart enough to disable YouTube comments lol

# ? Jul 26, 2022 16:37

teen witch: Oct 9, 2012

Caesar Saladin posted:

This lawyer guy is just ripping him to shreds, its awesome.

Mark Bankston is terrifying and I love it.

# ? Jul 26, 2022 16:37

EorayMel: May 30, 2015; WE GET IT. YOU LOVE GUN JESUS. Toujours des fusils Bullpup Fran�ais.

Billy Ray Blowjob posted:

this thread sucks

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

I didn't know Alex Jones was a goon :monocle:

# ? Jul 26, 2022 16:38

Digital Jedi: May 28, 2007; Fallen Rib

Jones really loves staring at the picture of the tree.

# ? Jul 26, 2022 16:38

Robo Reagan: Feb 12, 2012; by Fluffdaddy

Digital Jedi posted:

Jones really loves staring at the picture of the tree.

hopefully hell find a nice one after he loses and hang himself

# ? Jul 26, 2022 16:38

EorayMel: May 30, 2015; WE GET IT. YOU LOVE GUN JESUS. Toujours des fusils Bullpup Fran�ais.

Also how stupid are you to be (one of) the biggest republican grifter(s) in American history and gently caress up at shell corporations

# ? Jul 26, 2022 16:40

KitConstantine: Jan 11, 2013

EorayMel posted:

Also how stupid are you to be (one of) the biggest republican grifter(s) in American history and gently caress up at shell corporations

He used his own initials as the name for one of em

others were owned by his mom and dad

Jones is not a smart man

# ? Jul 26, 2022 16:42

Revins: Nov 2, 2007; tune the FM in to static and pretend that its the sea

alex jones' voice sounds like a parody of an angry red-faced talking head but lol no that's just how he sound

# ? Jul 26, 2022 16:44

Zil: Jun 4, 2011; Satanically Summoned Citrus

haljordan posted:

He's a bold man who pioneered the "I ate a bunch of chili and forgot" defense

Forgot his children's names. He ate chili and forgot about his children.

# ? Jul 26, 2022 16:44

Robo Reagan: Feb 12, 2012; by Fluffdaddy

https://twitter.com/screaminbutcalm/status/1105577845642878976?s=20&t=JBSuOkNdpEfUu0SufDOR6Q

# ? Jul 26, 2022 16:45

Bad Purchase: Jun 17, 2019

haljordan posted:

He's a bold man who pioneered the "I ate a bunch of chili and forgot" defense

i pity anyone who has not experienced eating so much delicious chili that you are unable physically and mentally to function for the rest of the afternoon or evening

i�m with alex on this one and the court should have been more understanding of the situation

# ? Jul 26, 2022 16:49

Tree Dude: May 26, 2012; AND MY SONG IS...

$150,000,000 holy poo poo. That feels like a big swing but I hope they get it.

lol Jones' lawyer seeking a mistrial for reasons I didn't hear because they were going to break. Good effort.

# ? Jul 26, 2022 16:50

Mr. Fall Down Terror: Jan 24, 2018; by Fluffdaddy

Seth Pecksniff posted:

Should they be showing the jurors like that? Like I feel like that's a problem

its a civil trial, not a criminal trial. the reason you protect the identity of jurors is so that they aren't threatened by organized crime when a member of the crime group is facing criminal prosecution. alex jones may be a desperate piece of poo poo but he is probably not going to attempt to murder members of the jury

# ? Jul 26, 2022 16:51

Seth Pecksniff: May 27, 2004; Can't post for 4 hours!

oof that judge is not taking any poo poo from anyone

Mr. Fall Down Terror posted:

its a civil trial, not a criminal trial. the reason you protect the identity of jurors is so that they aren't threatened by organized crime when a member of the crime group is facing criminal prosecution. alex jones may be a desperate piece of poo poo but he is probably not going to attempt to murder members of the jury

Ah ok coolio thanks!

# ? Jul 26, 2022 16:51

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# ? Apr 29, 2024 01:35

Zil: Jun 4, 2011; Satanically Summoned Citrus

Mr. Fall Down Terror posted:

its a civil trial, not a criminal trial. the reason you protect the identity of jurors is so that they aren't threatened by organized crime when a member of the crime group is facing criminal prosecution. alex jones may be a desperate piece of poo poo but he is probably not going to attempt to murder members of the jury

His followers might.

# ? Jul 26, 2022 16:52

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