Alex Jones: A Sloppy, Disrespectful Mess

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > Alex Jones: A Sloppy, Disrespectful Mess

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Grand Fromage: Jan 30, 2006; L-l-look at you bar-bartender, a-a pa-pathetic creature of meat and bone, un-underestimating my l-l-liver's ability to metab-meTABolize t-toxins. How can you p-poison a perfect, immortal alcohOLIC?

it's impossible to overstate how incompetent jones' lawyers are. spectacular idiots. I could do better

# ¿ Jul 26, 2022 16:52

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# ¿ May 15, 2024 02:55

Grand Fromage: Jan 30, 2006; L-l-look at you bar-bartender, a-a pa-pathetic creature of meat and bone, un-underestimating my l-l-liver's ability to metab-meTABolize t-toxins. How can you p-poison a perfect, immortal alcohOLIC?

haljordan posted:

Do you think he cheaped out or no legit lawyer wanted to take his money

He's using his usual stable of lawyers, who are all themselves criminals trying to grift alex

# ¿ Jul 26, 2022 17:03

Grand Fromage: Jan 30, 2006; L-l-look at you bar-bartender, a-a pa-pathetic creature of meat and bone, un-underestimating my l-l-liver's ability to metab-meTABolize t-toxins. How can you p-poison a perfect, immortal alcohOLIC?

That DICK! posted:

alex jones as far as i can tell has pretty much nothing to lose from flagrantly violating all of the judge's requests so, she's in for a lovely trial i think

Pretty much yeah. He's already guilty, they're just deciding how much money he owes. And he's a crazy person who can't control himself

# ¿ Jul 26, 2022 17:07

Grand Fromage: Jan 30, 2006; L-l-look at you bar-bartender, a-a pa-pathetic creature of meat and bone, un-underestimating my l-l-liver's ability to metab-meTABolize t-toxins. How can you p-poison a perfect, immortal alcohOLIC?

haljordan posted:

Didn't Alex Jones in fact claim a bunch of times that nobody was actually killed

Many many many times.

# ¿ Jul 26, 2022 17:42

Grand Fromage: Jan 30, 2006; L-l-look at you bar-bartender, a-a pa-pathetic creature of meat and bone, un-underestimating my l-l-liver's ability to metab-meTABolize t-toxins. How can you p-poison a perfect, immortal alcohOLIC?

Robo Reagan posted:

this judge is a dick

Look at the assholes she's dealing with

# ¿ Jul 26, 2022 18:02

Grand Fromage: Jan 30, 2006; L-l-look at you bar-bartender, a-a pa-pathetic creature of meat and bone, un-underestimating my l-l-liver's ability to metab-meTABolize t-toxins. How can you p-poison a perfect, immortal alcohOLIC?

Where are the 33,000 sticks of Juicy Fruit, Killary?

# ¿ Jul 26, 2022 18:06

Grand Fromage: Jan 30, 2006; L-l-look at you bar-bartender, a-a pa-pathetic creature of meat and bone, un-underestimating my l-l-liver's ability to metab-meTABolize t-toxins. How can you p-poison a perfect, immortal alcohOLIC?

funeral home DJ posted:

I choose to believe he is doing it free because he hates Jones for being a little poo poo.

I think he said that.

The move with the gummy worm intimidation is so good.

# ¿ Jul 26, 2022 18:09

Grand Fromage: Jan 30, 2006; L-l-look at you bar-bartender, a-a pa-pathetic creature of meat and bone, un-underestimating my l-l-liver's ability to metab-meTABolize t-toxins. How can you p-poison a perfect, immortal alcohOLIC?

I forgot this isn't a Knowledge Fight thread. The gummy worm thing he brings in a five pound bag of gummy worms to ostentatiously eat throughout the deposition. If the person being deposed asks for one he says he didn't bring enough to share.

# ¿ Jul 26, 2022 18:18

Grand Fromage: Jan 30, 2006; L-l-look at you bar-bartender, a-a pa-pathetic creature of meat and bone, un-underestimating my l-l-liver's ability to metab-meTABolize t-toxins. How can you p-poison a perfect, immortal alcohOLIC?

Hollismason posted:

I thought Alex Jones already torpedoed this case in discovery and this was just the judgement trial? I am unclear I thought this was just going to be a summary judgement.

You are correct. His legal defense is just being crazy because they're Alex Jones' lawyers.

# ¿ Jul 26, 2022 19:24

Grand Fromage: Jan 30, 2006; L-l-look at you bar-bartender, a-a pa-pathetic creature of meat and bone, un-underestimating my l-l-liver's ability to metab-meTABolize t-toxins. How can you p-poison a perfect, immortal alcohOLIC?

Confusedslight posted:

Did they say anywhere how long this break might be?

The lawyers are back on the livestream and I can see people talking, but it's muted and minimized. :argh:

# ¿ Jul 26, 2022 19:25

Grand Fromage: Jan 30, 2006; L-l-look at you bar-bartender, a-a pa-pathetic creature of meat and bone, un-underestimating my l-l-liver's ability to metab-meTABolize t-toxins. How can you p-poison a perfect, immortal alcohOLIC?

oh my god I hope one of the "experts" is dan

# ¿ Jul 26, 2022 19:38

Grand Fromage: Jan 30, 2006; L-l-look at you bar-bartender, a-a pa-pathetic creature of meat and bone, un-underestimating my l-l-liver's ability to metab-meTABolize t-toxins. How can you p-poison a perfect, immortal alcohOLIC?

https://twitter.com/OiHarkin/status/1551998598522470401

# ¿ Jul 26, 2022 19:46

Grand Fromage: Jan 30, 2006; L-l-look at you bar-bartender, a-a pa-pathetic creature of meat and bone, un-underestimating my l-l-liver's ability to metab-meTABolize t-toxins. How can you p-poison a perfect, immortal alcohOLIC?

loving Moron posted:

I hope he ends up going the Budd Dwyer route. Society doesn't need people like Alex Jones so gently caress him.

Bill Cooper at least committed to his bit and followed through.

# ¿ Jul 26, 2022 19:51

Grand Fromage: Jan 30, 2006; L-l-look at you bar-bartender, a-a pa-pathetic creature of meat and bone, un-underestimating my l-l-liver's ability to metab-meTABolize t-toxins. How can you p-poison a perfect, immortal alcohOLIC?

loving Moron posted:

I completely forgot about that militant conspiracy nut job. Wasn't it a cop that took him out? I want to say he did suicide by cop.

Yeah he died in a shootout with the cops over tax evasion or weapons charges or something appropriate, I forget which.

# ¿ Jul 26, 2022 19:58

Grand Fromage: Jan 30, 2006; L-l-look at you bar-bartender, a-a pa-pathetic creature of meat and bone, un-underestimating my l-l-liver's ability to metab-meTABolize t-toxins. How can you p-poison a perfect, immortal alcohOLIC?

Lol at every Jones lawyer objection being slapped down immediately.

# ¿ Jul 26, 2022 20:00

Grand Fromage: Jan 30, 2006; L-l-look at you bar-bartender, a-a pa-pathetic creature of meat and bone, un-underestimating my l-l-liver's ability to metab-meTABolize t-toxins. How can you p-poison a perfect, immortal alcohOLIC?

BigglesSWE posted:

Who is Daria?

An InfoWars corporate person who seems to be a complete psycho given her deposition. Also possibly Alex's handler (Alex has previously said on air he's been in contact with Russian intelligence).

# ¿ Jul 26, 2022 21:49

Grand Fromage: Jan 30, 2006; L-l-look at you bar-bartender, a-a pa-pathetic creature of meat and bone, un-underestimating my l-l-liver's ability to metab-meTABolize t-toxins. How can you p-poison a perfect, immortal alcohOLIC?

Robo Reagan posted:

she also grew up in russia. how topical, given the last few years

Yeah caught me before my edit but Alex has said on air he's been in contact with Russian intelligence so it's not a joke that she could be his handler.

# ¿ Jul 26, 2022 21:51

Grand Fromage: Jan 30, 2006; L-l-look at you bar-bartender, a-a pa-pathetic creature of meat and bone, un-underestimating my l-l-liver's ability to metab-meTABolize t-toxins. How can you p-poison a perfect, immortal alcohOLIC?

And being fawningly pro-Russia is pretty much Alex's only consistent position.

# ¿ Jul 26, 2022 21:51

Grand Fromage: Jan 30, 2006; L-l-look at you bar-bartender, a-a pa-pathetic creature of meat and bone, un-underestimating my l-l-liver's ability to metab-meTABolize t-toxins. How can you p-poison a perfect, immortal alcohOLIC?

BigglesSWE posted:

Not to get into a slap fight about such things but he seems to be fiercely anti-vax and complained a lot about Trump not being as anti as he could have been.

This is why I used the "pretty much" qualifier. Guns and being anti-vax are consistent from the earliest eps, yeah. I'm not counting The Globalists since there's nothing consistent about his conspiracy poo poo even within a single episode.

# ¿ Jul 26, 2022 21:55

Grand Fromage: Jan 30, 2006; L-l-look at you bar-bartender, a-a pa-pathetic creature of meat and bone, un-underestimating my l-l-liver's ability to metab-meTABolize t-toxins. How can you p-poison a perfect, immortal alcohOLIC?

Tree Dude posted:

This is the same reason I wouldn't count his religious beliefs because whatever brand of Christianity/Woo he believes swings wildly from day to day or faster.

I'm a fan of Cyber Satan.

# ¿ Jul 26, 2022 22:02

Grand Fromage: Jan 30, 2006; L-l-look at you bar-bartender, a-a pa-pathetic creature of meat and bone, un-underestimating my l-l-liver's ability to metab-meTABolize t-toxins. How can you p-poison a perfect, immortal alcohOLIC?

Tree Dude posted:

I hope the person with the horrendous cough is wearing a mask but it's Texas so lol

Wild that there's not a single person in there with a mask, as I hide from in-house covid and can't leave my room without a respirator.

# ¿ Jul 26, 2022 22:10

Grand Fromage: Jan 30, 2006; L-l-look at you bar-bartender, a-a pa-pathetic creature of meat and bone, un-underestimating my l-l-liver's ability to metab-meTABolize t-toxins. How can you p-poison a perfect, immortal alcohOLIC?

Zil posted:

Welcome to Texas baby.

When I go to the grocery store I am probably the only person who is wearing a mask besides the employees.

Oh yeah I never see anyone with a mask at the store or anything here either. But a tiny unventilated courtroom is nutty.

# ¿ Jul 26, 2022 22:23

Grand Fromage: Jan 30, 2006; L-l-look at you bar-bartender, a-a pa-pathetic creature of meat and bone, un-underestimating my l-l-liver's ability to metab-meTABolize t-toxins. How can you p-poison a perfect, immortal alcohOLIC?

Deptfordx posted:

I know right. I like to imagine his lawyer was massively mugging at him and miming 'small' with his fingers and God help his narcissist brain he just couldn't stop himself boasting outrageously. What was it, a billion people regularly tune into Infowars or something of that order he was claiming.

10% of the world's population was his claim IIRC. Also all world leaders.

# ¿ Jul 26, 2022 22:28

Grand Fromage: Jan 30, 2006; L-l-look at you bar-bartender, a-a pa-pathetic creature of meat and bone, un-underestimating my l-l-liver's ability to metab-meTABolize t-toxins. How can you p-poison a perfect, immortal alcohOLIC?

lol i've never seen video of an ad pivot

# ¿ Jul 26, 2022 22:32

Grand Fromage: Jan 30, 2006; L-l-look at you bar-bartender, a-a pa-pathetic creature of meat and bone, un-underestimating my l-l-liver's ability to metab-meTABolize t-toxins. How can you p-poison a perfect, immortal alcohOLIC?

"Why don't you tell me what the Illuminati is?"

# ¿ Jul 26, 2022 22:37

Grand Fromage: Jan 30, 2006; L-l-look at you bar-bartender, a-a pa-pathetic creature of meat and bone, un-underestimating my l-l-liver's ability to metab-meTABolize t-toxins. How can you p-poison a perfect, immortal alcohOLIC?

haljordan posted:

He should've used the Fox News defense: "No person with an IQ above 50 would actually believe any of this"

They have used this defense before, actually.

# ¿ Jul 27, 2022 17:25

Grand Fromage: Jan 30, 2006; L-l-look at you bar-bartender, a-a pa-pathetic creature of meat and bone, un-underestimating my l-l-liver's ability to metab-meTABolize t-toxins. How can you p-poison a perfect, immortal alcohOLIC?

mojo1701a posted:

That was my impression with about half of the depositions.

Can't lie under oath if you legitimately don't know anything. :science:

# ¿ Jul 27, 2022 18:56

Grand Fromage: Jan 30, 2006; L-l-look at you bar-bartender, a-a pa-pathetic creature of meat and bone, un-underestimating my l-l-liver's ability to metab-meTABolize t-toxins. How can you p-poison a perfect, immortal alcohOLIC?

Mr. Fall Down Terror posted:

this is the Podcaster's Gambit, you could just read the same wiki they're reading but they're going to throw some sassy riffs on top of it as a middleman

read the same wiki, lol

It's a good podcast, give it a listen. Dan is legit probably the world expert on Alex at this point.

# ¿ Jul 27, 2022 19:09

Grand Fromage: Jan 30, 2006; L-l-look at you bar-bartender, a-a pa-pathetic creature of meat and bone, un-underestimating my l-l-liver's ability to metab-meTABolize t-toxins. How can you p-poison a perfect, immortal alcohOLIC?

Judge about to take the Jones lawyer out behind the woodshed.

# ¿ Jul 27, 2022 20:11

Grand Fromage: Jan 30, 2006; L-l-look at you bar-bartender, a-a pa-pathetic creature of meat and bone, un-underestimating my l-l-liver's ability to metab-meTABolize t-toxins. How can you p-poison a perfect, immortal alcohOLIC?

spinst posted:

i like this judge

She has no time for these fuckwits and also no time to pretend otherwise, it's great

# ¿ Jul 27, 2022 20:11

Grand Fromage: Jan 30, 2006; L-l-look at you bar-bartender, a-a pa-pathetic creature of meat and bone, un-underestimating my l-l-liver's ability to metab-meTABolize t-toxins. How can you p-poison a perfect, immortal alcohOLIC?

You've repeatedly punished us for not preparing our representatives, it's unfair to keep asking them questions that they're not prepared for since we decided not to prepare them

# ¿ Jul 27, 2022 20:16

Grand Fromage: Jan 30, 2006; L-l-look at you bar-bartender, a-a pa-pathetic creature of meat and bone, un-underestimating my l-l-liver's ability to metab-meTABolize t-toxins. How can you p-poison a perfect, immortal alcohOLIC?

I want to be clear for non-KF listeners that Alex once said (recently I think) that he was "researching in his mind" when he made some poo poo up

# ¿ Jul 27, 2022 20:22

Grand Fromage: Jan 30, 2006; L-l-look at you bar-bartender, a-a pa-pathetic creature of meat and bone, un-underestimating my l-l-liver's ability to metab-meTABolize t-toxins. How can you p-poison a perfect, immortal alcohOLIC?

TulliusCicero posted:

Is this lunatic Wolfgang guy infowars? Or just a nutjob that listens to them

He was a major source of "info" for Alex' Sandy Hook stuff and was on as an expert guest a number of times. Not an employee.

# ¿ Jul 27, 2022 21:57

Grand Fromage: Jan 30, 2006; L-l-look at you bar-bartender, a-a pa-pathetic creature of meat and bone, un-underestimating my l-l-liver's ability to metab-meTABolize t-toxins. How can you p-poison a perfect, immortal alcohOLIC?

Three jurors just got whiplash from their first ad pivot experience

# ¿ Jul 27, 2022 22:11

Grand Fromage: Jan 30, 2006; L-l-look at you bar-bartender, a-a pa-pathetic creature of meat and bone, un-underestimating my l-l-liver's ability to metab-meTABolize t-toxins. How can you p-poison a perfect, immortal alcohOLIC?

Tree Dude posted:

This Alex Jones probably killed a guy.

Mark did ask him under oath if he killed a guy and he said he hadn't. Sadly.

# ¿ Jul 27, 2022 22:28

Grand Fromage: Jan 30, 2006; L-l-look at you bar-bartender, a-a pa-pathetic creature of meat and bone, un-underestimating my l-l-liver's ability to metab-meTABolize t-toxins. How can you p-poison a perfect, immortal alcohOLIC?

Crazy Ted posted:

See, that's presuming he wouldn't be willing to perjure himself on a random question like that.

Fair, but Alex being all hat and no cattle is pretty believable.

# ¿ Jul 27, 2022 22:31

Grand Fromage: Jan 30, 2006; L-l-look at you bar-bartender, a-a pa-pathetic creature of meat and bone, un-underestimating my l-l-liver's ability to metab-meTABolize t-toxins. How can you p-poison a perfect, immortal alcohOLIC?

OJ MIST 2 THE DICK posted:

also the "Alex Jone almost killed a man thing" is basically true, he sucker punched a guy at a party and pounded his head into concrete and left the dude with brain damage

it's almost certainly why Alex was forced to move to Austin from Dallas when he was a teenager, though Alex blames this on him knowing the cops were all doing drugs or some poo poo.

This isn't the "technically probably killed a guy" story Alex told though.

# ¿ Jul 27, 2022 22:39

Grand Fromage: Jan 30, 2006; L-l-look at you bar-bartender, a-a pa-pathetic creature of meat and bone, un-underestimating my l-l-liver's ability to metab-meTABolize t-toxins. How can you p-poison a perfect, immortal alcohOLIC?

Carwash oval office posted:

My question: did Alex used to be cool, just a fun Art Bell style conspiracy fan?

Not on Art's level, but the KF coverage of old Alex episodes shows that they were a lot more fun and light. He even let callers disagree with him and stuff and didn't flip out like a loser little titty baby.

He was always bad but he was a more functional human being in the early days.

# ¿ Jul 27, 2022 22:59

Grand Fromage: Jan 30, 2006; L-l-look at you bar-bartender, a-a pa-pathetic creature of meat and bone, un-underestimating my l-l-liver's ability to metab-meTABolize t-toxins. How can you p-poison a perfect, immortal alcohOLIC?

Bobcats posted:

jesus christ what a vile gently caress. This became the modern Republican take on everything, right? I think I can hear it in the diction.

Yep. The entire Republican party is InfoWars now. Which is bad for Alex since he's now redundant--Tucker Carlson does exactly the same stuff Alex does, but doesn't look like a complete nutcase in the process so it's easier to swallow.

# ¿ Jul 28, 2022 03:59

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# ¿ May 15, 2024 02:55

Grand Fromage: Jan 30, 2006; L-l-look at you bar-bartender, a-a pa-pathetic creature of meat and bone, un-underestimating my l-l-liver's ability to metab-meTABolize t-toxins. How can you p-poison a perfect, immortal alcohOLIC?

Yeah I thought AJ was just a UFOs guy until I started listening to Knowledge Fight and discovered it's all about the Literal Christian Devil, not aliens (though Satan is possibly an alien?)

# ¿ Jul 28, 2022 04:22

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