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The Something Awful Forums > Main > BYOB: BYOB BYOB BOYB BBOY YOBB YBOB BBYO?? > why do superheroes bother with secret identities?
 
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Fart Dumbass

by Fluffdaddy

The Voice of Labor posted:

like, spiderman I get. he's not powerful or rich enough to keep aunty may and mary jane safe from his enemies so by donning a mask he at least makes his foes put some effort into striking at him via the ones he loves.

batman though, wtf. richest man in gotham, if he wants to "fight crime" he could just have his limo pull up in poorsville and he could start wailing on whoever he liked, cops wouldn't do nothing. worst consequence would be a supervillain trying to get him cancelled because of wayne corps polluting and labor code violations, but lol, the rich are above shame as they are above the law. the only person bruce wayne cares about is alfred and I'm p' sure alfred can take care of himself. if he can't, bruce can hire a private army to keep him safe.

superman's also pretty puzzling. he gains nothing by being able to pass himself off as human. he's got super hearing and super eyesight and probably super computer hacking in newer iterations. like, he can find stuff out without pretending to be clark kent. he could stash lois layne and the kents in the justice league moon base or antarctica or whatever, it's not like anyone's going to mess with a living god's lover and family anyway.

I like the idea that the subtext of batman is that everyone loving knows it's bruce wayne but he's a billionaire so of course they don't do poo poo about it. pulling up in his limo in poorsville and beating the poo poo out of anyone who likes is exactly what he does to the letter, the batmobile is the nicest car he owns and definitely the most expensive too. probably as long as a limo also

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* # ¿ Aug 1, 2022 16:48
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# ¿ May 11, 2024 23:57
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Fart Dumbass

by Fluffdaddy

The Voice of Labor posted:

when batman gets all that science and manufacturing stuff delivered to the batcave I bet he pays more for the stuff to be delivered clandestinely and confidentially than he pays for the stuff being delivered. his mask fetish is wasting money in figures we can't even imagine

i liked when the explanation for how he could have stuff like that crafted without arousing suspicion was basically that he bought like a million of them at a time as if that was normal.

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* # ¿ Aug 2, 2022 16:30
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The Something Awful Forums > Main > BYOB: BYOB BYOB BOYB BBOY YOBB YBOB BBYO?? > why do superheroes bother with secret identities?