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hello goontlefriends, i've got a 35 page tv pilot I'm planning on shooting with some local comedians and I sure would appreciate some feedback on it! I'm worried the character of Victoria is coming across too strongly as a "dragon lady" Asian stereotype. She no longer ends every line by saying "kill all honkie's" while staring down the barrel of the camera. oh poo poo here's the link please don't tell my haters i make fun of them in this they'll screencap quotes out of context and use them to respond dismissively to my future posts. and that would be. devastating. |
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Aug 4, 2022 08:03
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| # ? May 3, 2024 08:06 |
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Pepsi solved racism, OP. Have a Pepsi, not a Cola.
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Aug 4, 2022 15:00
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saoshyant i feel like you would appreciate knowing that the other day i was watering my weed plants looking at a butterfly and i suddenly got that Ringabel's name was a pun on his amnesia.
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Aug 4, 2022 15:03
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PHIZ KALIFA posted:saoshyant i feel like you would appreciate knowing that the other day i was watering my weed plants looking at a butterfly and i suddenly got that Ringabel's name was a pun on his amnesia. Jesus.... it makes so much sense I think you'll appreciate this one, too: If you remove the letters FF from the game's title you get the final twist revealed in plain sight. The one bit that starts with "Flying". Saoshyant fucked around with this message at 15:22 on Aug 4, 2022
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Aug 4, 2022 15:18
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Also, I don't know who will star in the role of Alicia, but please take a photo of her wearing "office goth finery" because this is tickling my imagination wild. |
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Aug 4, 2022 15:21
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my g od... it's the Inal Antasy.
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Aug 4, 2022 15:21
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i am going to read this pilot when i have downtime! this reminds me i gotta reinstall final draft or maybe buy a new copy but ugh expensive |
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Aug 4, 2022 18:54
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we took a look and as a network we have decided not to move forward with this production. thanks for your interest. also you've been blackballed from the industry fatty arbuckle style
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Aug 4, 2022 18:57
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Aug 4, 2022 19:11
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it's really impressive how the one in the bottom left does that "daily mail photo montage" thing. they really captured that "ripped from the headlines" feel. just a deeply fascinating bit of science, AI art is. barnold posted:we took a look and as a network we have decided not to move forward with this production. thanks for your interest. also you've been blackballed from the industry fatty arbuckle style (i nervously sweep a pile of coke bottles under a too-small area rug) Scuba Trooper posted:i am going to read this pilot when i have downtime! Thanks! I juuuuuuuuuuust started using Arc Studio Pro (Free) because Scrivener doesn't append (MORE) when a dialogue stretches across multiple pages, but it looks like ASP does everything automatically and it was just so, so, so satisfying to have something just WORK crimes |
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Aug 4, 2022 19:38
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no
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Aug 4, 2022 22:41
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just kidding i will dig in when i have time and attention
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Aug 4, 2022 22:42
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anything specific you're looking for feedback on, or any types of feedback? or just general, anything? this is my standard opening question before giving notes btw. apologies if it seems a bit odd in this here byob context |
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Aug 5, 2022 16:37
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Allie posted:anything specific you're looking for feedback on, or any types of feedback? or just general, anything? is the cold open too busy? is it easy to follow the different interview threads in act 2? is the extended exorcism scene in act 3 actually funny or do i just hate grandmas (ty for asking) crimes |
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Aug 6, 2022 02:43
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| # ? May 3, 2024 08:06 |
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New draft is live! https://drive.google.com/file/d/14m2xbHc3wIEASln16SBxfhhPlNP_piz3/view?usp=sharing 3.2 CHANGELOG - Victoria's reveal is held off until act 3 - Nathaniel removed (because he sucked) - Bill and Jack's cutaway gags removed - Nicea's theological explanation has been moved forward in act 3 - the exorcism is now one continuous, unbroken take. - dialogue streamlined - new errors introduced intentionally, as a test crimes |
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Aug 12, 2022 05:07
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