|
- Stay seated when Burt calls "All rise," and stand up when Burt calls "All seated". -Have one ball hanging out your zipper. -Saying, "Yes, your boner" instead of "Yes, your honor" _Similarly, calling the judge "scrote". I.E "Not guilty, scrote." -When the judge asks how you plead, you really explain & illustrate how it is you plead exactly. IE "I plead like this baby. I plead real fast,plead plead plead but then I like to slow it down and plead slow like this pleeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaad haha u know scrote  "-bringing a blue tooth speaker to play tekashi6ix9ine's gummo from ur iphone -always be flipping off the flag -accidentally overflow the 20 oz arizona iced tea bottle you brought to piss in. try to play it off -dip skoal and spit on the floor -vape
|
#
?
Aug 5, 2022 03:44
|
|
|
|
| # ? May 12, 2024 10:12 |
|
|
Jerk your dick all the way off
|
|
#
?
Aug 5, 2022 03:45
|
|
|
erection ur boner
|
|
#
?
Aug 5, 2022 03:45
|
|
|
Intentionally vomit on the bailiff
|
|
#
?
Aug 5, 2022 03:50
|
|
|
always pronounce the H in your honor
|
|
#
?
Aug 5, 2022 03:52
|
|
|
offer an erotic massage to the plaintiff they will drop all charges
|
|
#
?
Aug 5, 2022 03:53
|
|
|
tell the judge to suck my dick you fuckman
|
|
#
?
Aug 5, 2022 03:53
|
|
|
Stick the judge's hammer in your rear end in a top hat and ask them to take it out.
|
|
#
?
Aug 5, 2022 03:53
|
|
|
Gun everyone down with an armalite ar-10
|
|
#
?
Aug 5, 2022 03:54
|
|
|
Call the judge a Karen
|
|
#
?
Aug 5, 2022 04:05
|
|
|
wear a hat in the courtroom
|
|
#
?
Aug 5, 2022 04:08
|
|
|
pop the collar on your polo shirt in the courtroom
|
|
#
?
Aug 5, 2022 04:08
|
|
|
Tell the court "the judges knew"
|
|
#
?
Aug 5, 2022 04:08
|
|
|
chew bubblegum, blow and pop a big bubble into the microphone while the judge is talking
|
|
#
?
Aug 5, 2022 04:09
|
|
|
ask the judge if the carpet matches the robes
|
|
#
?
Aug 5, 2022 04:10
|
|
|
gently caress the judge in the rear end in a top hat
|
|
#
?
Aug 5, 2022 04:11
|
|
|
Smoke meth in court but like in a fun way.
Confusedslight fucked around with this message at 04:18 on Aug 5, 2022 |
|
#
?
Aug 5, 2022 04:15
|
|
|
Actually i believe it's "cumtempt" your judgeness
|
|
#
?
Aug 5, 2022 04:18
|
|
|
smoke the judge's dessicated corpse out of a tobacco water bong
|
|
#
?
Aug 5, 2022 04:18
|
|
|
kntfkr posted:
This is actually what you are supposed to say in Louisiana, it has to do with the Napoleonic code or something. Also, come into court dressed like a sullen 90s teenager and just answer every question with "whatEVer" and "I dunno."
|
|
#
?
Aug 5, 2022 04:20
|
|
|
Have a pizza delivered to the court room while you’re being cross-examined.
|
|
#
?
Aug 5, 2022 04:25
|
|
|
Tell the judge you’re a freeman on the land and that HES in contempt for violating this
|
|
#
?
Aug 5, 2022 04:28
|
|
|
cum every time you hear a gavel bang
|
|
#
?
Aug 5, 2022 04:31
|
|
|
bang the gavel every time you cum
|
|
#
?
Aug 5, 2022 04:33
|
|
|
Come in wearing robes and a wig
|
|
#
?
Aug 5, 2022 04:33
|
|
|
Back in the olden times you could also poo poo the judges pants but that's why they replaced their wardrobe - it's a lot harder to poo poo someone's robe
|
|
#
?
Aug 5, 2022 04:34
|
|
|
stipulate in the record that every verbal reference to "your honor" will hereafter refer to your penis
|
|
#
?
Aug 5, 2022 04:37
|
|
|
one time i gave up fighting a speeding ticket in hopewell (their police famously kidnapped and murdered the Lindbergh baby) cuz they wanted me to come back a 4th time so i agreed to pay and they were going through the motions and the judge asks me "when do you expect to make payment?" and i said "uh, soon." and everyone in the court laughed including the judge and i wish i knew then what i knew now cuz ur not allowed to smile in court and that was definitely a mistrial
|
|
#
?
Aug 5, 2022 04:38
|
|
|
hold me in contempt like you hold your french girls
|
|
#
?
Aug 5, 2022 04:38
|
|
|
release dozens of white doves into the courtroom, one at a time, from your sleeve during dramatic moments of your testimony
|
|
#
?
Aug 5, 2022 04:41
|
|
|
say you were hoping for judge reinhold
|
|
#
?
Aug 5, 2022 04:50
|
|
|
Moon the judge and jury. Bonus points if you fart loudly while doing so.
|
|
#
?
Aug 5, 2022 04:59
|
|
|
Wall Balls posted:say you were hoping for judge reinhold my name is judge
|
|
#
?
Aug 5, 2022 05:00
|
|
|
Cook fish in the jury room microwave
|
|
#
?
Aug 5, 2022 05:02
|
|
|
LuckyCat posted:bang the gavel every time you cum gonna need a jackhammer gavel
|
|
#
?
Aug 5, 2022 05:05
|
|
|
bossy lady posted:gonna need a jackhammer gavel Jackoffhammer
|
|
#
?
Aug 5, 2022 05:07
|
|
|
you know you gotta pants da judge immediately
|
|
#
?
Aug 5, 2022 05:13
|
|
|
while the judge is distracted, slowly nudge their foot into fire ant pile
|
|
#
?
Aug 5, 2022 05:16
|
|
|
tell the court "you smell" then don't go to court's 234th birthday
|
|
#
?
Aug 5, 2022 05:18
|
|
|
|
| # ? May 12, 2024 10:12 |
|
|
No! I hold YOU in contempt!
|
|
#
?
Aug 5, 2022 05:18
|
|
