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"yeah my mom told me to finish highschool but i punched a hole in the wall and started roofing" |
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Aug 7, 2022 03:02
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my girlfriend asked me to watch rent. i did, i love her more than the moon loves the tide. anyways it ended and i felt the tears start to well up, so i started thinking of tyler mcgregor and choked those babies down
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Aug 7, 2022 03:04
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i didn't... listen, before my marriage i worked with my brain. i'm an accountant. anyways, the day after - well we got married and went to an isolated campsite, some lake in nunavut, for our honeymoon. anyways i picked up the axe and instantly realized i needed to put on shoes. i was wearing flip flops but when my hand gripped the handle i KNEW these shoes were wrong. changed footwear, chopped some wood, 9 months later i have a set of fraternal triplets.
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Aug 7, 2022 03:06
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i ordered a whiskey sour, straight, and some cowboy motherfucker down the bar stared at me. "that's a man's drink, little lady" one hand reached towards my boot knife, while my mouth spoke "i'm more a man than you, motherfucker. don't make me prove it" he raised a hand, and i tensed up. he waved at the bartender. "on me. my apologies hombre - my eyes aren't what they used to be"
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Aug 7, 2022 03:09
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listen honey... i was just... messing around with bricks. you know - they're like adult lego. i blacked out and when i woke up there was a god damned barbeque there.
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Aug 7, 2022 03:10
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"MAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWM" his cry echoed throughout the house. blank walls, empty rooms - an echo. he looked around his room. a piss jug. a jerk off sock. wallscrolls. for a moment he felt a pickaxe at his forehead. "MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWM I'M HUNGRY" silence with nothing to distract him from the emptiness in his gut he feels like his eyes are open for the first time. a bed, unmade - sheets disintegrating. it wasn't just a piss jug. it was piss JUGS. there was not a single jerk off sock, there were dozens. his throat tightened. "mom?" she was not here. a quick glance at the calendar confirmed, she was at aunt jessica's funeral all today, and was staying the night at uncle frank's. the smell of his choices filled his nostrils. he realized, in one shining moment, just what he'd become. it was time to clean.
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Aug 7, 2022 03:16
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"my big man you took your medicine so well, you didn't even cry when the doctor gave you the needle - you deserve a treat. mcdonalds?"
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Aug 7, 2022 03:17
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"so wait what's the deal?" "we're raising money for men's physical and mental health by growing moustaches" "  "
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Aug 7, 2022 03:39
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*smash* "listen i get that you are terrified of spiders but at least let me just put them outside"
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Aug 7, 2022 03:43
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"b...bu... but i don't want to!" "pull the god damned trigger - your fathers life is on the line!" 
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Aug 7, 2022 03:50
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"yeah i think i'd like chinese foo- which one? chef chan sounds good let me call them"
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Aug 7, 2022 03:51
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"you know what my drinking is negatively affecting my family. i'm done"
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Aug 7, 2022 04:25
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"you know what i can backflip over that waterfall. hold my beer" *is almost instantly put into a coma*
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Aug 7, 2022 04:26
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"you know what our community garden needs some tender love and care, come with me kids" *pied piper's children to the garden and sets them to weeding*
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Aug 7, 2022 04:27
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"you know what it's my time to listen and learn" he thinks to himself at the anarchist bookstore speaking circle "we've been talking forever, i'd hate to add to that weight"
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Aug 7, 2022 04:29
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"bro wait let me spot you!"
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Aug 7, 2022 04:30
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"I shall never shave, for the same reason that I started a beard, and for the reason my father started his. I remember standing at his side, when I was five, while he was shaving for the last time. “Father,” I asked, “Why do you shave?” He stood there for a full minute and finally looked down at me. “Why the hell do I?” he said." that day two men earned their card
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Aug 7, 2022 04:33
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Heather Papps posted:"I shall never shave, for the same reason that I started a beard, and for the reason my father started his. I remember standing at his side, when I was five, while he was shaving for the last time. “Father,” I asked, “Why do you shave?” He stood there for a full minute and finally looked down at me. “Why the hell do I?” he said." lol 
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Aug 7, 2022 15:52
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Inspecting Paul Owen's man card: "Look at that subtle off-white coloring. The tasteful thickness of it. Oh my God, it even has a watermark..." https://i.imgur.com/9jTkSUL.mp4 |
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Aug 8, 2022 23:23
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Sorry to break the streak but I just wanted to let you know that I enjoyed this thread. |
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Aug 9, 2022 00:14
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Bright Bart posted:Sorry to break the streak but I just wanted to let you know that I enjoyed this thread. thank you! sometimes i get a worm in my brain and i need to get it out through my fingers, using a keyboard. this is an absolutely prime example of that. for further examples see the "i'm riled up" and "i'm worn out" threads. i like to write what can i say.
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Aug 9, 2022 00:17
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| # ? Apr 29, 2024 16:01 |
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Heather Papps posted:thank you! sometimes i get a worm in my brain and i need to get it out through my fingers, using a keyboard. this is an absolutely prime example of that. for further examples see the "i'm riled up" and "i'm worn out" threads. I like to read what you write 
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Aug 9, 2022 01:12
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