Best fleshlight.

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > Best fleshlight.

«‹›3 »

Duck and Cover: Apr 6, 2007

By popular request. What is the best fleshlight? Gotta go fast.

# ? Sep 9, 2022 00:47

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 6, 2024 01:43

Mozi: Apr 4, 2004; Forms change so fast
Time is moving past
Memory is smoke
Gonna get wider when I die; Nap Ghost

smooth

# ? Sep 9, 2022 00:50

Smugworth: Apr 18, 2003

Paging William Henry Hairytaint, he'll know

# ? Sep 9, 2022 00:51

Madness: Jan 23, 2007

I bought one and felt like the prep time was just annoying and if you did not warm it up it was like loving a plastic vagina. 2 stars would not gently caress. Snagged and auto blow and that is pretty cool and feels good.

# ? Sep 9, 2022 00:53

MaliciousBiz: Mar 28, 2010; I Pay to Poast on Internet

You mom is the best Fleshlight, Op.

# ? Sep 9, 2022 00:58

Mozi: Apr 4, 2004; Forms change so fast
Time is moving past
Memory is smoke
Gonna get wider when I die; Nap Ghost

yeah but the shipping costs suck and it can only be delivered by freight

# ? Sep 9, 2022 01:01

Chinatown: Sep 11, 2001; by Fluffdaddy; Fun Shoe

MaliciousBiz posted:

You mom is the best Fleshlight, Op.

dang im too late

# ? Sep 9, 2022 01:01

The Real Amethyst: Apr 20, 2018; When no one was looking, Serval took forty Japari buns. She took 40 buns. That's as many as four tens. And that's terrible.

Tenga.

# ? Sep 9, 2022 01:05

PITY BONER: Oct 18, 2021

Madness posted:

I bought one and felt like the prep time was just annoying and if you did not warm it up it was like loving a plastic vagina. 2 stars would not gently caress. Snagged and auto blow and that is pretty cool and feels good.

I googled Auto Blow and now I am having an LOL

https://autoblow.com/safe/

"No thief would ever think to check your fake vagina for cash and gold!"

# ? Sep 9, 2022 01:21

Mozi: Apr 4, 2004; Forms change so fast
Time is moving past
Memory is smoke
Gonna get wider when I die; Nap Ghost

The Real Amethyst posted:

Tenga.

oh come on giving away the real answer isn't as fun

# ? Sep 9, 2022 01:22

numberoneposter: Feb 19, 2014; How much do I cum? The answer might surprise you!

doesnt matter but just use vics vaporub

# ? Sep 9, 2022 01:45

kntfkr: Feb 11, 2019; GOOSE FUCKER

ur mom

# ? Sep 9, 2022 01:45

DeadFatDuckFat: Oct 29, 2012; This avatar brought to you by the 'save our dead gay forums' foundation.

The Fleshlight of Jesus

# ? Sep 9, 2022 01:55

Nooner: Mar 26, 2011; AN A+ OPSTER (:

Whichever the last one u hosed is :q:

# ? Sep 9, 2022 02:02

Carlos Lantana: Oct 2, 2003; I'm really sorry, your avatar is giving me a boner and while that is perfectly OK and I don't want to kink shame anyone, its making me feel really weird getting a boner in a Trump thread.

Sincerely,

Jailbrekr

Chinatown posted:

dang im too late

not really

MaliciousBiz posted:

You mom's stupid face is the best Fleshlight, Op.

etc

# ? Sep 9, 2022 02:07

Brother Tadger: Feb 15, 2012; I'm accidentally a suicide bomber!

PITY BONER posted:

I googled Auto Blow and now I am having an LOL

https://autoblow.com/safe/

"No thief would ever think to check your fake vagina for cash and gold!"

Lmao

https://autoblow.com/automoblow/

# ? Sep 9, 2022 02:16

Rupert Buttermilk: Apr 15, 2007; 🚣RowboatMan: ❄️Freezing time🕰️ is an old P.I. 🥧trick...

Smugworth posted:

Paging William Henry Hairytaint, he'll know

For real, I wish there was a 'page this user' feature. The goon could set up how often pages could go through, if at all, so it'd be abuse-proof.

Anyway, a lubed hand.

Edit: nm, the Venus 9000. Seriously. Also, Venus 9000 should be a username, and I should be able to page them.

# ? Sep 9, 2022 02:18

Colonel Cancer: Sep 26, 2015; Tune into the fireplace channel, you absolute buffoon

One of those big heavy ones security guards carry around at night

# ? Sep 9, 2022 02:35

bradzilla: Oct 15, 2004

The one that makes your wiener do big cums op

# ? Sep 9, 2022 02:39

William Henry Hairytaint: Oct 29, 2011

Smugworth posted:

Paging William Henry Hairytaint, he'll know

I absolutely know but I'm not telling and it's this guy's fault.

# ? Sep 9, 2022 02:42

Car Hater: May 7, 2007; wolf. bike.
Wolf. Bike.
Wolf! Bike!
WolfBike!
WolfBike!
ARROOOOOO!

This one OP
:nws:

# ? Sep 9, 2022 02:50

Linux Pirate: Apr 21, 2012

Hand

# ? Sep 9, 2022 02:57

bossy lady: Jul 9, 1983

I got the monkey paw fleshlight. Every time you cum in it a finger uncurls and you get one cursed wish

# ? Sep 9, 2022 03:22

dot communist: Mar 28, 2005

An empty soda can

# ? Sep 9, 2022 03:26

funeral home DJ: Apr 21, 2003; Pillbug

dot communist posted:

An empty soda can

Admins please ban this poster for scaring the hell out of me, thanks.

# ? Sep 9, 2022 03:28

Icochet: Mar 18, 2008; I have a very small TV. Don't make fun of it! Please don't shame it like that~; Grimey Drawer

Diced liver in a bowl

# ? Sep 9, 2022 04:32

2nd Amendment: Jun 9, 2022; by Pragmatica

Google the nearest bar with 'Eagle' in the name. There will be plenty of people there who just want you to stick it in. They will appreciate your speed so the next in line can enter.

# ? Sep 9, 2022 04:39

Blue Footed Booby: Oct 4, 2006; got those happy feet

Car Hater posted:

This one OP

This is so much worse for Yoda having hair, and I can't possibly explain why.

Anyway, you're wrong. This one's the best:

# ? Sep 9, 2022 04:51

Doctor Dogballs: Apr 1, 2007; driving the fuck truck from hand land to pound town without stopping at suction station

Blue Footed Booby posted:

This is so much worse for Yoda having hair, and I can't possibly explain why.

Anyway, you're wrong. This one's the best:

that's not Yoda. it;s Yaddle. hth

# ? Sep 9, 2022 04:58

thin blue whine: Feb 21, 2004; PLEASE SEE POLICY; Soiled Meat

did someone say your mom yet? i'll say your mom... wait no, i change my answer: your mom no no, i hosed that up i meant to say your mom goddamnit i did it again

# ? Sep 9, 2022 05:00