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Colonel Cancer
Sep 26, 2015

Tune into the fireplace channel, you absolute buffoon

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Mooey Cow
Jan 27, 2018

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
Pillbug
The best fleshlight is the one we made along the way.

Charles Bukowski
Aug 26, 2003

Taskmaster 2023 Second Place Winner

Grimey Drawer
Lol you got banned from moba threads.

BAGS FLY AT NOON
Apr 6, 2011

A Soft Nylon Bag

2nd Amendment posted:

Google the nearest bar with 'Eagle' in the name. There will be plenty of people there who just want you to stick it in. They will appreciate your speed so the next in line can enter.

:hmmyes:

BAGS FLY AT NOON
Apr 6, 2011

A Soft Nylon Bag

bossy lady
Jul 9, 1983

I wonder what would happen if you stuck your dick in one of those ghostbusters traps like a fleshlight

OB-GYN Kenobi
Dec 4, 2017
Ectogasm

Rupert Buttermilk
Apr 15, 2007

🚣RowboatMan: ❄️Freezing time🕰️ is an old P.I. 🥧trick...

bossy lady posted:

I wonder what would happen if you stuck your dick in one of those ghostbusters traps like a fleshlight

Don't gently caress directly into the trap.

I hosed the trap, Ray!!

Icochet
Mar 18, 2008

I have a very small TV. Don't make fun of it! Please don't shame it like that~

Grimey Drawer
Open this thread in a browser of your choosing, place your penis on the keyboard and slam the laptop lid down until you cum or die

Revins
Nov 2, 2007





tune the FM in to static and pretend that its the sea

Pac and Cheese posted:

if you sit on your fleshlight before you use it it feels like you're using someone else's fleshlight

I read sit as poo poo at first and really wish I hadn't as that is a mental image I could do without

kdrudy
Sep 19, 2009


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z2EMGmv0FqM

Duck and Cover
Apr 6, 2007


https://www.candlepowerforums.com oh how sad looks like they updated the forum since last I looked.

Gutcruncher
Apr 16, 2005

Go home and be a family man!
There’s a robot arm fleshlight thing that plugs into your computer and certain porn games will detect it and operate the robot arm for you.

I feel like that has the potential to be either the best fleshlight or the worst fleshlight depending on what you’re playing.

Poohs Packin
Jan 13, 2019

Madness posted:

it was like loving a plastic vagina.

Lol yes

Fat Dan
Jul 10, 2022

HELLO
Pheasant under glass

Rupert Buttermilk
Apr 15, 2007

🚣RowboatMan: ❄️Freezing time🕰️ is an old P.I. 🥧trick...

Just fyi, if you mention the word 'teledildonics' on twitter, some zealot of the technology will friend and msg you. Almost immediately.

Seriously.

Edgar Allan Pwned
Apr 4, 2011

Quoth the Raven "I love the power glove. It's so bad..."
could i use a fake butt to get better humping stamina

Duck and Cover
Apr 6, 2007

Rupert Buttermilk posted:

Just fyi, if you mention the word 'teledildonics' on twitter, some zealot of the technology will friend and msg you. Almost immediately.

Seriously.

What kind of degenerate piece of poo poo do you think I am? I don't have a twitter account.

edit: That's not fair it's not twitters fault. I mean it's run by like a Nazi (or at the very least a piece of poo poo), not everyone on it is Nazi but twitter the tool itself isn't to blame. I just don't like how twitter functions. That is it's fault. Bad twitter, bad.

Duck and Cover fucked around with this message at 17:10 on Sep 9, 2022

Fat Dan
Jul 10, 2022

HELLO
https://twitter.com/internetofdongs/status/1030348564591865856

Mooey Cow
Jan 27, 2018

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
Pillbug

Rupert Buttermilk posted:

Just fyi, if you mention the word 'teledildonics' on twitter, some zealot of the technology will friend and msg you. Almost immediately.

Seriously.

Oh word? Are they dtf (remotely)?

kntfkr
Feb 11, 2019

GOOSE FUCKER
nasty rear end vacuum fuckers

Baxter
Sep 13, 2000
New or used?

Rupert Buttermilk
Apr 15, 2007

🚣RowboatMan: ❄️Freezing time🕰️ is an old P.I. 🥧trick...

Duck and Cover posted:

What kind of degenerate piece of poo poo do you think I am? I don't have a twitter account.

edit: That's not fair it's not twitters fault. I mean it's run by like a Nazi (or at the very least a piece of poo poo), not everyone on it is Nazi but twitter the tool itself isn't to blame. I just don't like how twitter functions. That is it's fault. Bad twitter, bad.

I would agree with you, but I follow a bunch of game devs and sound designers, so my feed is, thankfully, kind of awesome.

But generally, yes. Twitter bad. I mentioned once how it's amazing to me that 'teledildonics' was a real word and within 10 minutes, I had someone I didn't know at all, messaging me about the advancements that have been made in the field.

Revins
Nov 2, 2007





tune the FM in to static and pretend that its the sea
I use twitter to follow musicians and artists I like and thats pretty much it

Spinz
Jan 7, 2020

I ordered luscious new gemstones from India and made new earrings for my SA mart thread

Remember my earrings and art are much better than my posting

New stuff starts towards end of page 3 of the thread
This is horny posting everyone in this thread should get loving banned

bossy lady
Jul 9, 1983

the Impussable plant-based pussy alternative

Brother Tadger
Feb 15, 2012

I'm accidentally a suicide bomber!

Spinz posted:

This is horny posting everyone in this thread should get loving banned

Especially this poster

E. And this one

Buttchocks
Oct 21, 2020

No, I like my hat, thanks.
french press

Haptical Sales Slut
Mar 15, 2010

Age 18 to 49

bossy lady posted:

the Impussable plant-based pussy alternative

Once climax has been reached reuse as salad dressing dispenser and then cut up the remaining
plant-based pussy for a jello dish, as a treat.

Outpost22
Oct 11, 2012

RIP Screamy You were too good for this world.

Baxter posted:

New or used?

For sale: one fleshlight, never used :(

funeral home DJ
Apr 21, 2003


Pillbug

https://youtu.be/n-BmKFgJJog

Duck and Cover
Apr 6, 2007

Remember this is not a horny thread. These are medical devices. Thank you all for your understanding.

CaptainSarcastic
Jul 6, 2013



It's weird calling your mom a "medical device" but okay.

wesleywillis
Dec 30, 2016

SUCK A MALE CAMEL'S DICK WITH MIRACLE WHIP!!

Rupert Buttermilk posted:

For real, I wish there was a 'page this user' feature. The goon could set up how often pages could go through, if at all, so it'd be abuse-proof.

Anyway, a lubed hand.

Edit: nm, the Venus 9000. Seriously. Also, Venus 9000 should be a username, and I should be able to page them.
Many years ago, like just before the turn of the century, I was on a web board. O'Reilly webboard to be exact and they had a feature where you could post a post in a thread and also add an "attn: (user)" thingamabob to the post and it would show up for that user on their login page or some poo poo like that.

BAGS FLY AT NOON
Apr 6, 2011

A Soft Nylon Bag

Duck and Cover posted:

Remember this is not a horny thread. These are medical devices. Thank you all for your understanding.

The gently caress? Where the chili dawg at?

Duck and Cover
Apr 6, 2007

BAGS FLY AT NOON posted:

The gently caress? Where the chili dawg at?

Somebody took it away from me.

Professor Shark
May 22, 2012

CaptainSarcastic posted:

Another vote for your mom, OP.

Buce posted:

a trussed ham

Icochet
Mar 18, 2008

I have a very small TV. Don't make fun of it! Please don't shame it like that~

Grimey Drawer
I bought a fleshlight and a dildo and i put the dildo in the fleshlight and now i just sit in the corner and watch

Dixville
Nov 4, 2008

I don't think!
Ham Wrangler

Icochet posted:

I bought a fleshlight and a dildo and i put the dildo in the fleshlight and now i just sit in the corner and watch

Teledildonic cucking

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Lt. Cock
May 28, 2005

INCOMING!






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