Notable goons throughout history?

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silence_kit: Jul 14, 2011; by the sex ghost

I just read about this guy, and he really reminds me of the new style of Goon: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Leon_Czolgosz

# ? Nov 7, 2022 11:14

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# ? May 15, 2024 00:10

War and Pieces: Apr 24, 2022; DID NOT VOTE FOR FETTERMAN

TK8325 posted:

Nikola Tesla, he constantly came up with ideas for cool poo poo but never implemented anything. Or if he did it was overwrought and doomed to failure.

Once when he was invited to a dance Nikola Tesla spent all night turning his ratty suit inside out but hosed that up so he couldn't go

He went on to marry a Pigeon

# ? Nov 7, 2022 12:55

Dapper_Swindler: Feb 14, 2012; Im glad my instant dislike in you has been validated again and again.

silence_kit posted:

I just read about this guy, and he really reminds me of the new style of Goon: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Leon_Czolgosz

I always like that they thought he was a NARC too.

# ? Nov 7, 2022 13:06

War and Pieces: Apr 24, 2022; DID NOT VOTE FOR FETTERMAN

Killed a Girl in 96 posted:

Franz Reichelt made a parachute suit and was absolutely convinced in his own brilliance. However, everyone who saw the thing recognized what a bad design it was and said, "Hey Franz you're a tailor and not an aeronautical genius, and this poo poo sucks. Idiot." Franz, undeterred by the Haters, conducted a bunch of experiments that proved he (Franz) was a big wrong idiot as his dummies kept crashing out of the sky like 100lb watermelons. Instead of reconsidering his genius, he doubled down, jumped off the Eiffel tower with his parachute pants, and left a Wiley Coyote sized crater in the asphalt when he landed.

He was also French in the early 1900's, so he probably didn't bathe much either.

Same energy

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lag%C3%A2ri_Hasan_%C3%87elebi

# ? Nov 7, 2022 13:15

Sentinel Red: Nov 13, 2007; Style > Content.

Spike Milligan for sure.

That DICK! posted:

Farouk I of Egypt, subject of the clandestine CIA operation Project: Fat Fucker

poo poo, the Shadow King is real.

# ? Nov 7, 2022 13:31

Booty Pageant: Apr 20, 2012

van gogh was a goon, one of the OGs before photoshop fridays became a thing. shame about his meltdown that got him perma'd. dude had it rough though, kept moving back in with his parents, and couldn't hold a relationship down. if only he were around today he coulda setup a pateron and draw furry porn

# ? Nov 7, 2022 14:13

worm girl: Feb 12, 2022; Can you hear it too?

Sam Pepys posted:

...I walked to Greenwich, and there to the office pretty late expecting Captain Cocke�s coming, which he did, and so with me to my new lodging (and there I chose rather to lie because of my interest in the goods that we have brought there to lie), but the people were abed, so we knocked them up, and so I to bed, and in the night was mightily troubled with a looseness (I suppose from some fresh damp linen that I put on this night), and feeling for a chamber-pott, there was none, I having called the mayde up out of her bed, she had forgot I suppose to put one there; so I was forced in this strange house to rise and poo poo in the chimney twice.

Translation: Sam (an important English businessman and government official in the 17th century) had to go stay at a house in Greenwich while on a business trip. He got there late and the room was not properly prepared. He had diarrhea and couldn't find a chamberpot, so while everyone was asleep he poo poo in the chimney.

They didn't have forums back then, luckily he kept a diary which contains a lot of what we might think of today as posts.

# ? Nov 7, 2022 14:13

Haptical Sales Slut: Mar 15, 2010; Age 18 to 49

Haschel Cedricson posted:

Okay this guy definitely would have been a goon: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/William_McGonagall, also known as one of the worst poets in history.

Some highlights:

This is incredible. I wonder what the medical understanding of such things was in like 1536. Probably similar to my jr highs understanding which was �oh he�s just a dork�.

# ? Nov 8, 2022 01:35

Who Is Paul Blart: Oct 22, 2010

I know at least one goon has poo poo a police officer, so that one.

# ? Nov 8, 2022 06:19

Comfy Fleece Sweater: Apr 2, 2013; You see, but you do not observe.

wait a second... what about ME!? :awesome:

# ? Nov 8, 2022 06:25

BigBadSteve: Apr 29, 2009

Linux Pirate posted:

Tarrare

Couldn't stop eating and was always hungry. He regularly ate gross poo poo and capitalized on the negative attention. When the French Revolution began, he became a soldier and was always sick from eating poo poo you're not supposed to, like stray cats (), on top of a lifetime of consuming garbage. Field hospitals begrudgingly fed him quadruple rations, because it was impossible for him not to be a burden.

A general had an idea to make him useful and proposed he be a spy since he could and would eat anything. Using his stomach as a courier, they fed him a wood box with a message for an imprisoned French colonel. Tarrare crossed into Prussia and about a day later he was caught. He betrayed the French almost instantly and had the poo poo kicked out of him, after which he was then dumped back near French lines.

When he made his was back to the military hospital, he started relaxing like anyone would. By drinking blood and nibblin' on bits of dead people in the morgue. Oh, and he may have eaten a baby. When he didn't outright deny this when challenged, he was chased out of the hospital.

When he finally died, his autopsy revealed his body was rancid and full of pus. His intestines were rotten, and his stomach started at the back of his throat. In goonly fashion, he smelled too horrible and the autopsy was cut short.