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ADBOT LOVES YOU
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Apr 29, 2024 17:31
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- DiscoWitch
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uwu
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Last I heard he was working at Debenhams.
Wait... oh no Nigel! 
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Sep 18, 2022 11:01
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- Buttchocks
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No, I like my hat, thanks.
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Nigel gets a folk trio together and writes The Ballad of Nigel which doesn't chart in the UK, but is a viral meme in Brazil
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Sep 18, 2022 15:26
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- Viginti Septem
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Oculus Noctuae
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Nigel: Aren't you pleased to see me, father?
Mum: (squeezing his arm reassuringly) Of course he's pleased to see you, Nigel, he...
Dad: All right, woman, all right I've got a tongue in my head - I'll do 'talkin'. (looks at Nigel distastefully) Aye... I like yer fancy suit. Is that what they're wearing up in Yorkshire now?
Nigel: It's just an ordinary suit, father. It's all I've got apart from the overalls.
(Dad turns away with an expression of scornful disgust.)
Mum: How are you liking it down the mine, Nigel?
Nigel: Oh it's not too bad mum, we're using some new tungsten carbide drills for the preliminary coal-face scouring operations.
Mum: Oh that sounds nice, dear...
Dad: Tungsten carbide drills! What the bloody hell's tungsten carbide drills?
Nigel: It's something they use in coal-mining, father.
Dad: (mimicking) 'It's something they use in coal-mining, father'. You're all bloody fancy talk since you left London.
Nigel: Oh not that again.
Mum: He's had a hard day dear, his new play opens at the National Theatre tomorrow.
Nigel: Oh that's good.
Dad: Good! Good? What do you know about it? What do you know about getting up at five o'clock in t'morning to fly to Paris, back at the Old Vic for drinks at twelve, sweating the day through press interviews, television interviews and getting back here at ten to wrestle with the problem of a homosexual nymphomaniac drug-addict involved in the ritual murder of a well known Scottish footballer. That's a full working day, lad, and don't you forget it!
Mum: Oh, don't shout at the boy, father.
Dad: Aye, 'ampstead wasn't good enough for you, was it? You had to go poncing off to Barnsley, you and yer coal-mining friends. (spits)
Nigel: Coal-mining is a wonderful thing father, but it's something you'll never understand. Just look at you!
Mum: Oh Nigel! Be careful! You know what he's like after a few novels.
Dad: Oh come on lad! Come on, out wi' it! What's wrong wi' me? You tit!
Nigel: I'll tell you what's wrong with you. Your head's addled with novels and poems, you come home every evening reeling of Chateau La Tour...
Mum: Oh don't, don't.
Nigel: And look what you've done to mother! She's worn out with meeting film stars, attending premieres and giving gala luncheons.
Dad: There's nowt wrong wi' gala luncheons, lad! I've had more gala luncheons than you've had hot dinners!
Mum: Oh please!
Dad: Aaaaaaagh! (clutches hands and sinks to knees)
Mum: Oh no!
Nigel: What is it?
Mum: Oh, it's his writer's cramp!
Nigel: You never told me about this.
Mum: No, we didn't like to, Nigelny.
Dad: I'm all right! I'm all right, woman. Just get him out of here.
Mum: Oh Nigel! You'd better go.
Nigel: All right. I'm going.
Dad: After all we've done for him...
Nigel: (at the door) One day you'll realize there's more to life than culture. There's dirt, and smoke, and good honest sweat!
Dad: Get out! Get out! Get OUT! You... LABOURER!
(Nigel goes. Shocked silence. Dad goes to table and takes the cover off the typewriter.)
Dad: Hey, you know, mother, I think there's a play there. Get t'agent on t'phone.
Mum: Aye I think you're right, Frank, it could express, it could express a vital theme of our age.
Dad: Aye.
https://i.imgur.com/9jTkSUL.mp4
Thanks to vanisher for the paradise sig! 
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#
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Sep 18, 2022 17:02
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- Kaiser Schnitzel
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Schnitzel mit uns
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Nigel: Aren't you pleased to see me, father?
Mum: (squeezing his arm reassuringly) Of course he's pleased to see you, Nigel, he...
Dad: All right, woman, all right I've got a tongue in my head - I'll do 'talkin'. (looks at Nigel distastefully) Aye... I like yer fancy suit. Is that what they're wearing up in Yorkshire now?
Nigel: It's just an ordinary suit, father. It's all I've got apart from the overalls.
(Dad turns away with an expression of scornful disgust.)
Mum: How are you liking it down the mine, Nigel?
Nigel: Oh it's not too bad mum, we're using some new tungsten carbide drills for the preliminary coal-face scouring operations.
Mum: Oh that sounds nice, dear...
Dad: Tungsten carbide drills! What the bloody hell's tungsten carbide drills?
Nigel: It's something they use in coal-mining, father.
Dad: (mimicking) 'It's something they use in coal-mining, father'. You're all bloody fancy talk since you left London.
Nigel: Oh not that again.
Mum: He's had a hard day dear, his new play opens at the National Theatre tomorrow.
Nigel: Oh that's good.
Dad: Good! Good? What do you know about it? What do you know about getting up at five o'clock in t'morning to fly to Paris, back at the Old Vic for drinks at twelve, sweating the day through press interviews, television interviews and getting back here at ten to wrestle with the problem of a homosexual nymphomaniac drug-addict involved in the ritual murder of a well known Scottish footballer. That's a full working day, lad, and don't you forget it!
Mum: Oh, don't shout at the boy, father.
Dad: Aye, 'ampstead wasn't good enough for you, was it? You had to go poncing off to Barnsley, you and yer coal-mining friends. (spits)
Nigel: Coal-mining is a wonderful thing father, but it's something you'll never understand. Just look at you!
Mum: Oh Nigel! Be careful! You know what he's like after a few novels.
Dad: Oh come on lad! Come on, out wi' it! What's wrong wi' me? You tit!
Nigel: I'll tell you what's wrong with you. Your head's addled with novels and poems, you come home every evening reeling of Chateau La Tour...
Mum: Oh don't, don't.
Nigel: And look what you've done to mother! She's worn out with meeting film stars, attending premieres and giving gala luncheons.
Dad: There's nowt wrong wi' gala luncheons, lad! I've had more gala luncheons than you've had hot dinners!
Mum: Oh please!
Dad: Aaaaaaagh! (clutches hands and sinks to knees)
Mum: Oh no!
Nigel: What is it?
Mum: Oh, it's his writer's cramp!
Nigel: You never told me about this.
Mum: No, we didn't like to, Nigelny.
Dad: I'm all right! I'm all right, woman. Just get him out of here.
Mum: Oh Nigel! You'd better go.
Nigel: All right. I'm going.
Dad: After all we've done for him...
Nigel: (at the door) One day you'll realize there's more to life than culture. There's dirt, and smoke, and good honest sweat!
Dad: Get out! Get out! Get OUT! You... LABOURER!
(Nigel goes. Shocked silence. Dad goes to table and takes the cover off the typewriter.)
Dad: Hey, you know, mother, I think there's a play there. Get t'agent on t'phone.
Mum: Aye I think you're right, Frank, it could express, it could express a vital theme of our age.
Dad: Aye.
https://i.imgur.com/R8ctked.mp4
ty Manifisto for this wonderful sig!
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#
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Sep 18, 2022 18:06
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- biosterous
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Nigel: Aren't you pleased to see me, father?
Mum: (squeezing his arm reassuringly) Of course he's pleased to see you, Nigel, he...
Dad: All right, woman, all right I've got a tongue in my head - I'll do 'talkin'. (looks at Nigel distastefully) Aye... I like yer fancy suit. Is that what they're wearing up in Yorkshire now?
Nigel: It's just an ordinary suit, father. It's all I've got apart from the overalls.
(Dad turns away with an expression of scornful disgust.)
Mum: How are you liking it down the mine, Nigel?
Nigel: Oh it's not too bad mum, we're using some new tungsten carbide drills for the preliminary coal-face scouring operations.
Mum: Oh that sounds nice, dear...
Dad: Tungsten carbide drills! What the bloody hell's tungsten carbide drills?
Nigel: It's something they use in coal-mining, father.
Dad: (mimicking) 'It's something they use in coal-mining, father'. You're all bloody fancy talk since you left London.
Nigel: Oh not that again.
Mum: He's had a hard day dear, his new play opens at the National Theatre tomorrow.
Nigel: Oh that's good.
Dad: Good! Good? What do you know about it? What do you know about getting up at five o'clock in t'morning to fly to Paris, back at the Old Vic for drinks at twelve, sweating the day through press interviews, television interviews and getting back here at ten to wrestle with the problem of a homosexual nymphomaniac drug-addict involved in the ritual murder of a well known Scottish footballer. That's a full working day, lad, and don't you forget it!
Mum: Oh, don't shout at the boy, father.
Dad: Aye, 'ampstead wasn't good enough for you, was it? You had to go poncing off to Barnsley, you and yer coal-mining friends. (spits)
Nigel: Coal-mining is a wonderful thing father, but it's something you'll never understand. Just look at you!
Mum: Oh Nigel! Be careful! You know what he's like after a few novels.
Dad: Oh come on lad! Come on, out wi' it! What's wrong wi' me? You tit!
Nigel: I'll tell you what's wrong with you. Your head's addled with novels and poems, you come home every evening reeling of Chateau La Tour...
Mum: Oh don't, don't.
Nigel: And look what you've done to mother! She's worn out with meeting film stars, attending premieres and giving gala luncheons.
Dad: There's nowt wrong wi' gala luncheons, lad! I've had more gala luncheons than you've had hot dinners!
Mum: Oh please!
Dad: Aaaaaaagh! (clutches hands and sinks to knees)
Mum: Oh no!
Nigel: What is it?
Mum: Oh, it's his writer's cramp!
Nigel: You never told me about this.
Mum: No, we didn't like to, Nigelny.
Dad: I'm all right! I'm all right, woman. Just get him out of here.
Mum: Oh Nigel! You'd better go.
Nigel: All right. I'm going.
Dad: After all we've done for him...
Nigel: (at the door) One day you'll realize there's more to life than culture. There's dirt, and smoke, and good honest sweat!
Dad: Get out! Get out! Get OUT! You... LABOURER!
(Nigel goes. Shocked silence. Dad goes to table and takes the cover off the typewriter.)
Dad: Hey, you know, mother, I think there's a play there. Get t'agent on t'phone.
Mum: Aye I think you're right, Frank, it could express, it could express a vital theme of our age.
Dad: Aye.
thank you saoshyant for this sig!!!
gallery of sigs
       
he/him
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#
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Sep 18, 2022 18:40
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- Viginti Septem
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Oculus Noctuae
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That's old monty python, not my oc
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#
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Sep 18, 2022 19:31
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- free hubcaps
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Nigel: Aren't you pleased to see me, father?
Mum: (squeezing his arm reassuringly) Of course he's pleased to see you, Nigel, he...
Dad: All right, woman, all right I've got a tongue in my head - I'll do 'talkin'. (looks at Nigel distastefully) Aye... I like yer fancy suit. Is that what they're wearing up in Yorkshire now?
Nigel: It's just an ordinary suit, father. It's all I've got apart from the overalls.
(Dad turns away with an expression of scornful disgust.)
Mum: How are you liking it down the mine, Nigel?
Nigel: Oh it's not too bad mum, we're using some new tungsten carbide drills for the preliminary coal-face scouring operations.
Mum: Oh that sounds nice, dear...
Dad: Tungsten carbide drills! What the bloody hell's tungsten carbide drills?
Nigel: It's something they use in coal-mining, father.
Dad: (mimicking) 'It's something they use in coal-mining, father'. You're all bloody fancy talk since you left London.
Nigel: Oh not that again.
Mum: He's had a hard day dear, his new play opens at the National Theatre tomorrow.
Nigel: Oh that's good.
Dad: Good! Good? What do you know about it? What do you know about getting up at five o'clock in t'morning to fly to Paris, back at the Old Vic for drinks at twelve, sweating the day through press interviews, television interviews and getting back here at ten to wrestle with the problem of a homosexual nymphomaniac drug-addict involved in the ritual murder of a well known Scottish footballer. That's a full working day, lad, and don't you forget it!
Mum: Oh, don't shout at the boy, father.
Dad: Aye, 'ampstead wasn't good enough for you, was it? You had to go poncing off to Barnsley, you and yer coal-mining friends. (spits)
Nigel: Coal-mining is a wonderful thing father, but it's something you'll never understand. Just look at you!
Mum: Oh Nigel! Be careful! You know what he's like after a few novels.
Dad: Oh come on lad! Come on, out wi' it! What's wrong wi' me? You tit!
Nigel: I'll tell you what's wrong with you. Your head's addled with novels and poems, you come home every evening reeling of Chateau La Tour...
Mum: Oh don't, don't.
Nigel: And look what you've done to mother! She's worn out with meeting film stars, attending premieres and giving gala luncheons.
Dad: There's nowt wrong wi' gala luncheons, lad! I've had more gala luncheons than you've had hot dinners!
Mum: Oh please!
Dad: Aaaaaaagh! (clutches hands and sinks to knees)
Mum: Oh no!
Nigel: What is it?
Mum: Oh, it's his writer's cramp!
Nigel: You never told me about this.
Mum: No, we didn't like to, Nigelny.
Dad: I'm all right! I'm all right, woman. Just get him out of here.
Mum: Oh Nigel! You'd better go.
Nigel: All right. I'm going.
Dad: After all we've done for him...
Nigel: (at the door) One day you'll realize there's more to life than culture. There's dirt, and smoke, and good honest sweat!
Dad: Get out! Get out! Get OUT! You... LABOURER!
(Nigel goes. Shocked silence. Dad goes to table and takes the cover off the typewriter.)
Dad: Hey, you know, mother, I think there's a play there. Get t'agent on t'phone.
Mum: Aye I think you're right, Frank, it could express, it could express a vital theme of our age.
Dad: Aye.
Lol. One of the best python skits that no one remembers.
Also XTC rules
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fzaEsLgF3NQ
ty Saoshyant!
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Sep 18, 2022 19:51
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- Adbot
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ADBOT LOVES YOU
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Apr 29, 2024 17:31
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#
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Sep 18, 2022 10:37
