- CarlCX
- Dec 14, 2003
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We're trying a B-league weekend GDT. Shitpost in it until it reaches eighty pages so we do more of them. There are two and a half MMA events happening, 'cause Rizin is a weird, weird company.
First off, starting in like half an hour, Bellator:
It's been a while!
 B League Preview - note the early Ireland start time
Bellator 285 - Friday, September 23, 2022
Main Card - 4PM ET, Showtime
Lightweight - “Smooth” Benson Henderson vs Peter “The Showstopper” Queally
“Smooth” Benson “Bendo Hendo'' Henderson was, at one point, a really dynamic fighter to watch. He was a scrambley grappler with a penchant for snatching up submissions while also being apparently unable to be submitted himself. He won the WEC lightweight title (Spoilers for Mekchu’s recap series!), and had an all-time great fight with Anthony Pettis in the final WEC fight of all time.
That was 12 years ago.
Sure, he won the UFC lightweight title when the rosters were merged, but he was no longer the scramble man, bursting with excitement. Now he punched people in the thigh and eked out contentious split decisions that nobody was happy with. That period was about 9 years ago.
His Bellator run started in 2016, and he’s gone 5-6 in the promotion. Most recently, Bendo stopped a 3-fight skid with a classic split decision win over Islam Mamedov in January.
Queasy Petesy is a tremendous success story. He went from fighting guys like Crumbo McBumbo and even more fakey made up names, like Decky Dalton, on the regional scene. Since he suffers from Being Irish, he got signed to Bellator in an attempt to vacuum up the crumbs of McGregor Hype, and he promptly lost his promotional debut. A few fights canceled due to his injuries, and a single stoppage win, and he had a match with Patricky “Sorry, no, you’re thinking of my brother. His autograph line is much longer. Ha, no, it’s ok, it really is. Happens all the time” Freire! Pete won via cut stoppage, then was thrown into a rematch 6 months down the line for the vacant title. And then Patricky showed even the worser Pitbull Bro can still put a bum-rear end dork to sleep. Queally was supposed to have a layup return fight in February, but hey, guess what? He had to bow out due to injury again. Womp-womp.
Benson is no longer the man of his youth, but he’s still more than capable of wrestling An Irish for 25 minutes. He can do that in his sleep, so long as he doesn’t choke on his toothpick.
Light Heavyweight - Yoel “Soldier of God” Romero vs Melvin “No Mercy” Manhoef
Oh boy. Whooooooaaaaaa boy. This fight. There’s a lot to go over in this one.
Yoel Romero is a freak athlete from Cuba, who claims to be “only” 45 years old. I would wager he’s at least 73. He was a dominating amateur wrestler, and if he stayed in Cuba, he likely would have been responsible for starting the country’s space program by hurling shuttles into low orbit. He had a bizarre run in the UFC, including him ALLEGEDLY pooping his pants in the cage, missing weight for championship opportunities, and fights that saw prolonged periods of zero activity before exploding in a rush of fast twitch muscles and angry punches that more often than not, killed people in gruesome fashion.
Speaking of killing people in gruesome fashion, Melvin Manhoef! Manhoef has had an equally bizarre career. He was a kickboxer for a time, but moved to MMA and much like baseball has the Three True Outcomes (A batter will either walk, strike out, or hit a homerun), a Manhoef fight had two possible results - Melvin hit you so hard it was declared a humanitarian crisis, or you instantly took him down and submitted him. This is best exemplified by his fight against Mark Hunt, when the middleweight Manhoef, whilst backpedaling, dropped the steel-jawed super heavyweight Samoan in 18 seconds, and Melvin’s bout with Gegard Mousasi, a kickboxer with issues facing grapplers in his own right, who very smartly shot for a takedown and submitted him in 90 seconds.
This fight has a lot of potential. Potential to be sad, as both guys are over 45 years old and have accumulated a lot of damage. Potential to be bizarre, because most Yoel Romero fights are so goddamn weird. Potential to be insane, because if both guys start exchanging, most of the crowd will probably receive second-hand brain trauma.
If Yoel operated logically, he would wrestle quicker than he’s ever wrestled before. But Yoel Romero is a strange man and I fully expect him to stand completely motionless for minutes at a time as both men try to puzzle out the weirdsmobiles in front of each other.
Featherweight - Leah “The Curse” McCourt vs Dayana Silva
Ok, I’m all out of Narrative Juice, so back to my normal method of fight previews. Rote recitation of records and statistics because you can go to heck if you think I’m watching fight film for most of these ding dongs!
McCourt is 6-2 with 1 TKO and 2 submission wins. She took a decision over current UFC flyweight standout, Manan Fiorot early in both women’s careers, though it was at a 138-lb catchweight because McCourt is a real, dyed-in-the-wool featherweight. McCourt has gone 5-1 in Bellator, only dropping her most recent bout, a decision loss to Sinead Kavanagh.
Silva is 10-7, with 2 TKO wins on her resume. She’s fought, and lost, to some notable Brazilian WMMA names, such as Carina Damm, Juliana Lima, and Jennifer Maia. She came to Bellator at 9-5, and simple math shows she’s gone 1-2 in the promotion, her lone win coming by decision over Janay Harding.
McCourt’s record looks nicer, but two of her Bellator opponents were a combined 5-11 when they fought Leah.
Featherweight - Mads Burnell vs Pedro “The Game” Carvalho
Burnell is a grappling-focused fighter. He’s 16-4, with 9 submission wins, 4 of those coming by way of Japanese Necktie. I tell ya, this guy’s got more Japanese neckties than a salaryman! He went 1-2 in the UFC, both losses coming by 3rd round submission. He’s currently 3-1 in Bellator, having lost to Adam Borics in March.
Pedro is 12-6 with 6 sub wins. He’s got 3 wins and 1 loss to people without Tapology pages, and there are random 0-1 dudes who have Tapology pages. He’s 5-3 in Bellator, having dropped his most recent outing in May to Piotr Niedzielski by decision.
Burnell should be a pretty tough test for Carvalho, and he’s mostly failed the hard tests. Mads might not add a necktie to his collection, but expect a submission win for Burnell.
Featherweight - Ciaran Clarke vs Rafael “Apocalipse” Hudson
Clarke is 5-0, all under Bellator. He’s notched 2 submission wins and 1 TKO stoppage (Via dislocated shoulder). Of those 5 Guys (No burgers, no fries), only 2 have had fights in Bellator before or since facing Clarke.
Hudson is 5-3 with 3 submissions and 2 TKOs. He went 4-1 in his native Brazil, and has since gone 1-2 in the European scene. He’s currently on a two fight losing streak.
An undefeated Irish guy on an Ireland card taking on a guy with two losses in a row? Oh baby, we are in Squash Match territory!
Prelim Card - 12:30PM ET, YouTube
Welterweight - Daniel Schiro vs Luca Poclit
Schiro is 9-3 with 4 TKOs and 4 submission wins. He is 1-1 in Bellator, dropping a split decision to current interim champ Logan Storley, but bouncing back in his most recent fight by ground and pounding Scotty Hao in the third round.
Luca is 7-1 with 4 submissions and 1 TKO win. His lone loss was to a then 16-3 Mairbek Taisumov in Poclit’s professional debut in 2012. He had a 4 year hiatus before returning to MMA in 2016. This is his Bellator debut, though he apparently was booked twice, though those fizzled.
Some of Luca’s opponents don’t look too bad on paper, but most of them have padded their records beating a lot of 0-0, 0-1 guys. Schiro has beat one or two guys who seem to exist? Or maybe I’m just reading too much into him getting one judge’s score card against Logan Storley.
Featherweight - Asael “The Sultan” Adjoudj vs Jordan “The Lord” Barton
Adjoudj is 3-1, with 1 TKO, 1 submission, and 1 decision win. Perfectly balanced, as all things should be.
Barton is 7-2 with 4 TKOs and 2 submission wins. He’s one of the few Ciaran Clarke victims to get another fight in Bellator.
Does anyone care about this fight? About these guys? Maybe they will smash into each other that makes for an interesting finish, but it’s unlikely they’ll be remembered 24 hours after the bout.
Featherweight - Alex Bodnar vs Kenny “Black Diamond” Mokhonoana
Bodnar is 4-1 with 1 TKO and 1 submission finish. He has a win over George “Son of Dracula” Tanasa. That is an incredible nickname.
Mokhonoana is 3-0 with 3 submission wins (Though one is enigmatically listed as “Tr” on Tapology. Sherdog states it was a triangle choke).
Neither guy has really beat anyone even remotely mediocre. However, Mokhonoana is Irish, so he’s probably going to win by submission.
Lightweight - Georgi “Insane” Karakhanyan vs Kane “The Danger” Mousah
Georgi made his Bellator debut in 2010, at their 13th ever event. He’s 9-11 in the promotion and has only notched back to back wins inside the Circlegon twice. He’s currently on a 2-fight losing skid.
Mousah is 13-4 as a pro, 2-2 in Bellator. Most of his wins have gone the distance.
Karakhanyan has a ton of experience, but he doesn’t have a good track record for winning in Bellator. Mousah has also struggled with the step up in competition. If Georgi can’t get an early submission, get ready for the long haul.
Lightweight - Darragh Kelly vs Kye “Kid Yeti” Stevens
Kelly is 1-0 as a pro, 9-0 on the ammy scene. All of his fights have been finishes, mostly by submission.
Kye is 3-1 as a pro, 6-1 as an amateur, with most fights ending via strikes.
This looks to be the first actual competition for both men, though I think both guys are can crushers. Kid Yeti is a pretty rad nickname, though.
Bantamweight - Brett “The Pikey” Johns vs Jordan “I’m Gonna” Winski
Johns is 18-3, with 6 subs and 3 clubs. He went a respectable 5-2 in the UFC between 2016 and 2020. He is 1-1 in Bellator, having dropped a decision to Danny Sabatello, but most recently ground and pounding out Khurshed Kakhorov in February.
Winski is 12-3, with 3 clubs and subs each. He’s also 1-1 in Bellator, both fights going to the judges.
Johns was set to face James Gallagher, but James backed out once he realized that Brett is actually a good fighter. Winski hasn’t fought or beat anyone of note other than facing Sergio Pettis in both men’s amateur debuts (If you squint, I will give you Andre Ewell, I guess). Johns should take this fight.
Bantamweight - Brian “The Pikeman” Moore vs Arivaldo “Carnica” Silva
Moore is 14-9, possessing 6 submissions and 4 TKOs. He’s 5-5 in Bellator, and his wins are mostly against people you’ve never heard of (Sorry, Jordan Winski), and most of his losses are to good fighters (Daniel Weichel, AJ McKee, Jornel Lugo, maybe).
Silva is 19-10, with 11 submission victories. He lost to Goiti Yamauchi in 2011 in “Brazilian Fight League”. This looks to be his first bout out of Brazil.
Looks like a classic layup fight for Moore.
Light Heavyweight - “King” Karl Albrektsson vs Karl Moore
Albrektsson is 13-3, with 6 TKOs and 3 subs. He went 3-2 in Rizin, and 2-1 in Bellator, showing a wrestling deficit, which proves just because you look like Ben Askren on Bane serum doesn’t mean you know how to grapple.
Moore is 9-2 with 4 submissions and 2 TKOs.
Karl Fight! Karl Fight! Karl Fight!
Then, at 8 PM PST/11 PM EST tomorrow, there's Super Rizin, a weird experiment in trying to appeal to the American audience by giving them a card with almost no real fights on it but you do get to see Floyd Mayweather and his bodyguard, who unironically calls himself Jizzy:
The Battle Cats presents 超RIZIN (SUPER RIZIN)
Date: Sunday, 25 September 2022 12:00 JST (23:00 Saturday ET)
Venue: Saitama Super Arena, Saitama, Japan
How Can I Watch?: FITE.tv for $29.99 (Not Worth It)
https://www.fite.tv/watch/mayweather-vs-asakura/2pbuk/
Finally we can watch Rizin outside of Japan, but the broadcast costs $30 and it is this 4-fight gimmick card that, as best as I can tell from the Fite page, has the “Rizin” branding entirely stripped off of it. And they aren’t broadcasting the actual Rizin show that happens an hour after Super Rizin ends.
Floyd Mayweather Jr. (50-0) vs. Mikuru Asakura (16-3 MMA) (3 round Boxing Exhibition, Free Weight)
Floyd Mayweather Jr. is a domestic abuser who had a very successful boxing career. Since retiring at 50-0 after defeating Conor McGregor, he has been taking large-fee exhibition fights in places like Japan and Abu Dhabi. This spectacle is the latest one. He beat up former sparring partner “Dangerous” Don Moore back in May in Abu Dhabi, and he’s 45-years-old.
Mikuru Asakura is a 30-year-old. Rizin MMA featherweight mainstay that also has 2.73 million subscribers on Youtube. He doesn’t have any particularly notable names on his resume and he lost to Kleber Koike in June of 2021. His last fight was at the NYE Rizin show 9 months ago, a decision win over Yutaka Saito. His younger brother Kai Asakura also fights in Rizin.
I don’t know what this is. I guess Asakura is “famous.” Even the person who writes the profiles on the Rizin website has no idea. Their profile says “And this time, a standing bout exhibition match with Floyd Mayweather has been decided. Can you make a miracle against Mayweather, who is undefeated in 50 fights, and make your name known all over the world?” Whatever.
Koji Tanaka (13-8 KB) vs. Ray Sadeghi (0-0) (Boxing, 3 rounds, Free Weight)
Billed as KOUZI x JIZZY, journeyman kickboxer Koji “Kouzi” Tanaka faces Floyd Mayweather’s bodyguard Ray “Jizzy Mack” Sadeghi in a boxing exhibition. Tanaka has 2 kickboxing decision wins in 2022, as well as losses to Tenshin and Takeru on his record.
Kouzi fights at 135, while Jizzy Mack apparently weighs 170, though they are the same height. Jizzy Mack is definitely a roid monster, and he has no experience in combat sports. He’s been Mayweather’s bodyguard for 14 years, and per Rizin’s profile, “since he was a child, he devoted himself to street fights.” This fight represents the true spirit of PRIDE living on in 2022.
Nadaka Yoshinari (15-0 MT, 5-0 KB, 14 KO) vs. Bandasak (78-21-5 MT) (Kickboxing with Elbows, 117)
“Miracle Boy” Nadaka Yoshinari is an undefeated 21-year-old prospect who managed to unify the Rajadamnern Stadium and Lumpinee Stadium titles in the Mini Flyweight division, the first Japanese person (and only second foreigner overall) to achieve this feat. His 5 kickboxing fights were in Rizin, and this fight, due to the competitors, is under “Rizin Kickboxing rules but elbows are allowed.”
“So Trakunpet” Bandasak is a 33-year-old Muay Thai veteran making his debut in Japan, hoping to follow in the footsteps of fighters like Buakaw Por Pramuk and Rodtang. He mainly fights in the promotion MAX MUAYTHAI. Bandasak is probably overmatched, because this is Rizin, but this is the only fight that’s close to competitive and intriguing on this PPV event.
Kota Miura (1-0) vs. Bunchuai Phonsungnoen (4-2-1 Boxing, 20-17-3 MT) (MMA, 3 minute rounds, 150)
Kota Miura is the son of “King Kazu” Kazuyoshi Miura, a legendary Japanese soccer player with 89 caps for the Japanese national team who is still, for gimmick reasons, making appearances in the Japanese league at age 55 so that he can be listed on Wikipedia as “the footballer with the world’s longest professional career (1986-2022).” This is my third time writing a preview for a Kota Miura fight and I swear to loving god he better fight this time or I’m going to go beat his rear end myself. His fight at Rizin 37 in July was canceled because he caught COVID-19.
“Little King” Kota made his debut on the New Year’s Eve RIZIN 33 show, but his unnamed Brazilian opponent couldn’t get into Japan due to “Corona’s evil” so his opponent was decided to be YUSHI. YUSHI was heavily outmatched by Kota and Kota made several submission attempts in their 3 minute round, but though he was unable to finish the submissions he got the victory by doing a SOCCER KICK at the stroke of the bell at the end of round 1.
Rizin gave up on making Miura fight a Brazilian guy, they have him in a Thailand phase now. Last month, as a punishment for getting COVID, Kota was exiled to Thailand and forced to fight 40-year-old Buakaw Por Pramuk in a Muay Thai exhibition. Buakaw whooped his rear end and TKOed him in round 3.
They found a guy, 22-year-old Bunchai Phonsungnoen, who seems to mostly suck at both boxing and muay thai, but “has been practicing MMA” since “the beginning of this year,” to feed to the Little King.
Because “Little King” is still in the baby stages of his career, this fight is three 3-minute rounds. I expect Kota Miura to win again. If he wins by soccer kick again, I’m calling it a work.
And shortly thereafter, for the brave people who are going to stay up all night to watch Kyoji Horiguchi fight an animate sack of potatoes, there's the actual event, Rizin 38:
湘南美容 SBC Shonan Beauty Clinic presents RIZIN.38
Date: Sunday, 25 September 2022 15:00 JST (02:00 ET)
Venue: Saitama Super Arena, Saitama, Japan
How Can I Watch?: FITE.tv for $14.99
https://www.fite.tv/watch/rizin-38/2pbzo/
Kyoji Horiguchi (29-5) vs. Yuto Hokamura (14-11-2) (134)
Kyoji Horiguchi has been given a plane ticket to Japan for a Rizin main event to help him recover from his current 2-fight skid. After his stunning spinning backfist loss of his Bellator bantamweight title in December, Horiguchi also lost his first round contest in the Bellator 2022 Bantamweight Grand Prix in April to Patchy Mix. Rizin bills Horiguchi as “the strongest Japanese fighter in history who accomplished the feat of simultaneously conquering two major titles, Rizin and Bellator.” He actually still reigns as the Rizin bantamweight champion, after winning the belt on NYE 2020, without ever defending it. This fight is not for the title, either.
Yuto “Kintaro Masakiri” Hokamura, billed by Rizin as KINTARO, is also on a 2-fight skid. But his losses are to non-names Yuki Motoya and Naoki Inoue. He has not faced the same caliber of opposition as Kyoji and yet he still has barely above a .500 record. He hasn’t even beat anyone you’ve heard of, unless you’re the kind of freak that knows who Alan “Hiro” Yamaniha is. He’s here as a lay-up for Horiguchi.
RIZIN WORLD GP 2022 Super Atomweight Tournament 2nd Round
Seika Izawa (7-0) vs. Anastasiya Svetkivska (2-1) (108)
Current Rizin Super Atomweight champion Seika Izawa has the easier path to the tournament final, because she is charged with defeating a woman who was already defeated in round one of the single elimination tournament. Izawa advanced by defeating Laura Fontoura by front choke on July 31. Her path is pretty well clear to winning the GP and thus being declared to have cleaned out the Super Atomweight division.
Anastasiya Svetkivska gets to re-enter the tournament after losing a decision to Rena Kubota. Kubota suffered a broken orbital bone during the match, and 2 months was not sufficient time to recover from it, so Svetkivska takes her spot. Svetkivska’s pedigree is that she went 7-0 in the International MMA Federation amateur tournaments in 2019.
RIZIN WORLD GP 2022 Super Atomweight Tournament 2nd Round
Ayaka Hamasaki (24-5) vs. Si Woo Park (8-4) (108)
Both fighters won their first round matches by decision. Ayaka beat Jessica Aguilar in the battle 11 years in the making, and Si Woo Park defeated Kanna Asakura. Hamasaki continues her quest to try and meet Seika Izawa in the finals and get revenge for the loss of the Super Atomweight title. Hamasaki and Park have both already been defeated by Izawa in the past year.
Park was realistically supposed to be fodder for Asakura in the first round, so I’d expect her to be the underdog in this fight as well.
Hiromasa Ougikubo (25-5-2) vs. Soo Chul Kim (17-6-1) (134)
Ultimate Fighter and Rizin veteran Hiromasa Ougikubo is on a 5-fight winning streak in Rizin since November 2020, all via decision. He appeared on the TUF Flyweight Champions season as the Shooto champion, but lost to Tim Elliott in the finals and did not ever fight in the UFC proper. His only losses since then are a decision loss to Horiguchi in 2018 and a soccer kick loss to Kai Asakura (for the Rizin bantamweight title) that he avenged on his current streak. If he can win this one, he might be on a collision course for a title fight with Horiguchi on New Year’s Eve.
Soo Chul Kim fought in Rizin once in 2015, but has made Road FC his home, where he is the current Road FC bantamweight champion. At 30 he has been around so long in MMA that he actually fought on the first ONE FC show in 2011, and his record also includes a loss to Bibiano Fernandes, a draw with Marlon Sandro, and a win over Marcus Brimage. He actually retired from MMA in 2017, but made his return during the pandemic. In September 2021 he lost to Hae Jin Park via guillotine for the vacant title but then back in May they had a rematch and Kim won via TKO to take the championship.
Shoma Shibisai (8-3) vs. Cally Gibrainn de Oliveira (5-1 MMA, 2-0 KB) (265)
Big Boys Time. Shoma Shibisai is a Ganryujima veteran with a win over one of the sumo bad boy twins. His last fight was a TKO win over “The Monster of Latvia” Rihards Bigis at Rizin 35.
“Juggernaut” Cally Gibrainn de Oliveira is making his Rizin debut, but he has had 5 fights in Japan and one in South Korea before. In April he won the heavyweight title in the GLADIATOR organization, and in July he won a kickboxing decision over MAX Yoshida in Rise. His lone loss is to Satoshi Ishii. He claims that he will get a flashy KO “like Wanderlei Silva, who I admire.”
Kyohei Hagiwara (6-6) vs. Chihiro Suzuki (7-3) (146)
“Kenka Bancho” Kyohei Hagiwara is… a guy. He was 1-2 when he joined Rizin, and since then he has gone 5-4 in Rizin, against mostly Japanese opponents with average records. He was a sacrifice to Kleber Koike back in May at Rizin Landmark Vol. 3. Rizin’s site claims that he had an amateur record in Osaka of 18-2 before going pro, and that his favorite fighter is Nate Diaz.
Chihiro Suzuki seems to be a prodigy at 23-years-old. In addition to being 7-3 in MMA, he is 6-1 in kickboxing, 4-0 in muay thai, and 1-0 in shootboxing, for a combined record of 18-4. He started fighting in 2017 a few months before his 18th birthday. Per Rizin’s profile, he has a Peruvian father and a Japanese mother. He most recently defeated kickboxer Ren Hiramoto in an MMA bout at Rizin Landmark Vol. 2 in March.
Juri Ohara (31-17-3) vs. Luiz Gustavo (11-2) (157)
While he has a modest record at the age of 31, Juri Ohara is currently on an 8-fight win streak dating back to August 2020. Two months ago, he won the DEEP Lightweight championship… over 7-11 fighter Yuma Ishizuka. Indeed, his strength of schedule is not great but he does have wins over Satoru Kitaoka and Yusuke Yachi. He also has gone 0-3 against Koji Takeda and lost in 23 seconds to an Imanari heel hook back in 2017.
Luiz “Killer” Gustavo is 3-2 in Rizin, with the two losses being to headliner Mikuru Asakura and Patricky Pitbull. After NYE 2019 he didn’t make his return to fighting until April 2022, where he defeated Yusuke Yachi for a second time at Rizin Trigger 3rd. He trains at EVOLUCAO THAI under Andre Dida and when he came to Rizin initially he was billed as “a Wanderlei assassin” with “aggressive rushing power reminiscent of the Chute Boxe style of yesteryear.” Rizin’s profile claims that he LOST HIS FATHER IN A STREET FIGHT.
Do you want to watch lots of Irish and Japanese people you may not have heard of hit each other for peanuts? Then my friends, this is the weekend for you.
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Sep 23, 2022 17:40
