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Shadow0
Jun 16, 2008


If to live in this style is to be eccentric, it must be confessed that there is something good in eccentricity.

Grimey Drawer
I am, to put it lightly, not very funny. And also easily intimidated by criticism!

Nevertheless, I want to see the front page brought back to life! So I'm going to try my hand at writing something. And it would be really nice to see what other goons might be able to cook up! Let's brainstorm a really funny article that will surely encourage Jeffery to bring back the front page!

Here's the idea I have so far:

quote:

An advertisement or review for bionic balls. They have all the abilities regular balls do: i.e. holding pee; but are enhanced in many ways:
  • Increased storage capacity
  • You can sneak more liquids onto the plane at airport security (or maybe this is a drawback as now you need to remove your balls at security every time?)
  • Your balls are now armored, and so getting kicked hurts less, or maybe they even have defensive spikes
  • Testicular diseases are no longer a concern, however rust is now an issue; and you heard someone's balls bricked when they downloaded the newest firmware
  • Magnets and MRIs pose a huge risk to you
  • Your balls can now connect to the Internet of Things
  • Can expand as a protection or flotation device or mating display

I want to keep this thread open to other ideas too if someone has something better. I think we have a lot of really funny posters on these forums, let's work together to make something worth getting on the front page!

Shadow0 fucked around with this message at 17:54 on Oct 4, 2022

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Saalkin
Jun 29, 2008

Can't go wrong with balls.

Capntastic
Jan 13, 2005

A dog begins eating a dusty old coil of rope but there's a nail in it.

You have ten minutes to make a fast food menu based on what you can cook in real life

Shadow0
Jun 16, 2008


If to live in this style is to be eccentric, it must be confessed that there is something good in eccentricity.

Grimey Drawer

Saalkin posted:

Can't go wrong with balls.

That's exactly what I was thinking! But it's also low-hanging fruit...
Especially as you get older.

Katamari Democracy
Jan 19, 2010

Guess what! :love:
Guess what this is? :love:
A Post, Just for you! :love:
Wedge Regret
Nuclear holocaust survival tips and tricks. I mean we are already going that route.

Shadow0
Jun 16, 2008


If to live in this style is to be eccentric, it must be confessed that there is something good in eccentricity.

Grimey Drawer

Katamari Democracy posted:

Nuclear holocaust survival tips and tricks. I mean we are already going that route.

This might actually not be a bad idea!

quote:

Tip #1: Befriend the roaches now while you can by leaving snacks in dark corners of your home. They will likely become a powerful ally in the post-bomb world!

War and Pieces
Apr 24, 2022

DID NOT VOTE FOR FETTERMAN
Might be funny to train an ai to post like a mid 2000's edgelord and write articles. If it says the "S-word" who's liable lol

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Nooner
Mar 26, 2011

AN A+ OPSTER (:
bump

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