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Edward Mass
Sep 14, 2011

𝅘𝅥𝅮 I wanna go home with the armadillo
Good country music from Amarillo and Abilene
Friendliest people and the prettiest women you've ever seen
𝅘𝅥𝅮
What curse, you may ask? You probably don't know this, but no one has held the Impact World Championship longer than six months since Bobby Roode record-setting reign of 256 days. Barring a title change happening in Las Vegas during the next set of tapings, Josh Alexander will be champion for 200+ days, joining the aforementioned Roode and AJ Styles as the only wrestlers to hold Impact Wrestling's top prize for that long (I am not counting the five years the NWA World Heavyweight Championship was in use). For the record, the 256th day of Josh Alexander's current title reign would be January 4th, 2023 :tinfoil:

ROLL CALL OF CURRENT CHAMPIONS (no notes, as spoilers dictate the direction the belts are going in, and they are pretty notable)

World Champion: Josh Alexander

World Tag Team Champions: The OGK

X Division Champion: Frankie Kazarian

Knockouts World Champion: Jordynne Grace

Knockouts Tag Team Champions: The Death Dollz (Freebird rule TBD)

Digital Media Champion: Brian Myers

NEXT PAY-PER-VIEW EVENT: HARD TO KILL
January 13th, from Atlanta.

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Chris James 2
Aug 9, 2012


Mia Yim’s contract expired

Edward Mass
Sep 14, 2011

𝅘𝅥𝅮 I wanna go home with the armadillo
Good country music from Amarillo and Abilene
Friendliest people and the prettiest women you've ever seen
𝅘𝅥𝅮

Chris James 2 posted:

Mia Yim’s contract expired

That was a short contract!

Chris James 2
Aug 9, 2012


They extended Chris Bey for at least two years

Edward Mass
Sep 14, 2011

𝅘𝅥𝅮 I wanna go home with the armadillo
Good country music from Amarillo and Abilene
Friendliest people and the prettiest women you've ever seen
𝅘𝅥𝅮

Chris James 2 posted:

They extended Chris Bey for at least two years

Either him or Ace Austin should be the one to dethrone Josh Alexander.

Speaking of the World Championship, OPTION C

Bonk
Aug 4, 2002

Douche Baggins
I'm a bit behind, but I've been hearing HNM's contracts are up soon/now? If ROH is close to finalizing TV, it seems likely they'd turn up there. But they'd have to rename themselves Honor Some More.

Edward Mass
Sep 14, 2011

𝅘𝅥𝅮 I wanna go home with the armadillo
Good country music from Amarillo and Abilene
Friendliest people and the prettiest women you've ever seen
𝅘𝅥𝅮

Bonk posted:

I'm a bit behind, but I've been hearing HNM's contracts are up soon/now? If ROH is close to finalizing TV, it seems likely they'd turn up there. But they'd have to rename themselves Honor Some More.

I THINK the only invader with a contract not imminently up is Kenny King, but I'm no contract expert.

Chris James 2
Aug 9, 2012


Kenny showed up a few weeks after Maria/Mike/Matt/Vincent/PCO. I don't know if Kenny's deal is done soon, PCO is staying for a bit

Edward Mass
Sep 14, 2011

𝅘𝅥𝅮 I wanna go home with the armadillo
Good country music from Amarillo and Abilene
Friendliest people and the prettiest women you've ever seen
𝅘𝅥𝅮
The tournament for the newly-vacated X Division Championship is very intriguing:

Black Taurus vs. Laredo Kid ->
Yuya Uemura vs. PJ Black
Alan Angels vs. Trey Miguel ->
Kenny King vs. "Speedball" Mike Bailey

Trying
Sep 26, 2019

Baffling to me that Black Taurus doesn't win all the time

Edward Mass
Sep 14, 2011

𝅘𝅥𝅮 I wanna go home with the armadillo
Good country music from Amarillo and Abilene
Friendliest people and the prettiest women you've ever seen
𝅘𝅥𝅮

Chris James 2 posted:

Kenny showed up a few weeks after Maria/Mike/Matt/Vincent/PCO. I don't know if Kenny's deal is done soon, PCO is staying for a bit

Speaking of!

http://twitter.com/WONF4W/status/1583964185066897409

Bonk
Aug 4, 2002

Douche Baggins
Impact, if nothing else, is the company that is 100% OK with leaning into the goofiness of PCO's character, so it's really the best place for him.

Edward Mass
Sep 14, 2011

𝅘𝅥𝅮 I wanna go home with the armadillo
Good country music from Amarillo and Abilene
Friendliest people and the prettiest women you've ever seen
𝅘𝅥𝅮
Apparently, Laredo Kid hosed up his intestines in a match for AAA two days ago, so that sucks.

Chris James 2
Aug 9, 2012


:rubby:

https://twitter.com/IMPACTWRESTLING/status/1585784852191772673?s=20&t=7zB3UVNyQguBo1Y48tc48g

1glitch0
Sep 4, 2018

I DON'T GIVE A CRAP WHAT SHE BELIEVES THE HARRY POTTER BOOKS CHANGED MY LIFE #HUFFLEPUFF

Why would you write them off like that? Pointless as hell.

DJExile
Jun 28, 2007


1glitch0 posted:

Why would you write them off like that? Pointless as hell.

Pointlessly writing off departing talent is a long-standing TNA tradition

Chris James 2
Aug 9, 2012


https://twitter.com/IMPACTWRESTLING/status/1588337459540131840?s=20&t=xcZpM2r3SiO0uKWHoiMr2g

DJExile
Jun 28, 2007


https://twitter.com/RobertONeill31/status/1588595803161071617

loving hell

J-Ro
Jul 26, 2005

Child Of The Revolution

I am shocked that Impact is booking Bully in matches after they brought him back. How dare they!

Edward Mass
Sep 14, 2011

𝅘𝅥𝅮 I wanna go home with the armadillo
Good country music from Amarillo and Abilene
Friendliest people and the prettiest women you've ever seen
𝅘𝅥𝅮
DJExile, do you actually watch any non-joshi wrestling? Just asking.

Chris James 2
Aug 9, 2012


Lady Frost granted release after having it rejected in August

https://www.f4wonline.com/news/impa..._medium=twitter

DJExile
Jun 28, 2007


Edward Mass posted:

DJExile, do you actually watch any non-joshi wrestling? Just asking.

I watch plenty and I am lost at finding a reason for a shithead like Bully Ray (who is Fifty-One Years Old!) to be booked anywhere in TYOOL 2022

J-Ro
Jul 26, 2005

Child Of The Revolution

I wish wrestling companies could stop hiring bad people, until they do I'll keep tuning their segments out.

Jordynne and Gisele had a beast of a main event, Knockouts keep winning.

El Generico
Feb 3, 2009

Nobody outrules the Marquise de Cat!

DJExile posted:

I watch plenty and I am lost at finding a reason for a shithead like Bully Ray (who is Fifty-One Years Old!) to be booked anywhere in TYOOL 2022

The Bully Ray character heeling it up and doing Aces & Eights is one of the strongest memories of my time as a TNA watcher I have.

Big Dave
Nov 6, 2009

Friends don't shake hands, friends gotta hug!


Calfzilla

Edward Mass
Sep 14, 2011

𝅘𝅥𝅮 I wanna go home with the armadillo
Good country music from Amarillo and Abilene
Friendliest people and the prettiest women you've ever seen
𝅘𝅥𝅮

Big Dave posted:

Calfzilla

More wrestlers need to emphasize lesser body parts they're proud of.

forkboy84
Jun 13, 2012

Corgis love bread. And Puro


J-Ro posted:

I wish wrestling companies could stop hiring bad people, until they do I'll keep tuning their segments out.

NWA seems tailor-made to collect all the boring wrestlers & bad people. They should sign Bubba

Chris James 2
Aug 9, 2012


forkboy84 posted:

NWA seems tailor-made to collect all the boring wrestlers & bad people. They should sign Bubba

He was there all this summer before last month

J-Ro
Jul 26, 2005

Child Of The Revolution

NWA (or rather Billy Corgan) sucks so much that the bad and boring people are leaving.

Edward Mass
Sep 14, 2011

𝅘𝅥𝅮 I wanna go home with the armadillo
Good country music from Amarillo and Abilene
Friendliest people and the prettiest women you've ever seen
𝅘𝅥𝅮
Grace/Slamovich II announced, with a last knockout standing stip. Should be good!

J-Ro
Jul 26, 2005

Child Of The Revolution

Gail Kim for booker of the year.

Chris James 2
Aug 9, 2012


Over Drive is tomorrow on Impact+ and Youtube

Mickie James vs Taylor Wilde; if Mickie loses she retires
Bully Ray vs Moose in a tables match
Trey Miguel vs Black Taurusl for the vacant X title
Heath and Rhino defend the tag titles against Brian Myers and Matt Cardona
The Death Dollz (Jessicka, Rosemary, and/or Taya Valkyrie) defend the Knockouts tag titles against Tasha Steelz and Savannah Evans
Jordynne Grace defends the Knockouts title in a last woman standing match against Masha Slamovich
Josh Alexander defends the world title against Kazarian

Chris James 2 fucked around with this message at 04:08 on Nov 18, 2022

Bonk
Aug 4, 2002

Douche Baggins
I hope Mickie gets retired by a random midcarder on a random TV episode. "If someone beats me I'll retire" works way better if it's not a big hyped PPV match. They probably won't because of taping spoilers, but it'd be a cool way to go out by putting over someone who is still working her way up and needs a big rub like that (so, Masha).

edit: Joe Hendry's whole bit is funnier than it has any right to be.

Bonk fucked around with this message at 09:38 on Nov 18, 2022

Chris James 2
Aug 9, 2012


Over Drive developments:

MCMG #1 contenders for the tag titles, they're going to defend the Strong Openweight tag titles in New Japan in the meantime; if they're still holding those belts when they come back, Chris Bey and Ace Austin want a shot (they'll be in New Japan also but for the Jr Tag League, so won't be able to then)
Deonna Purrazzo wants to end Mickie James' career because Mickie's ruining hers (ended Deonna's title reign at BFG 2021, just ended her best friend Chelsea Green's time in the company)
Trey Miguel turned heel to win the X title
Bully Ray called his world title shot for Hard To Kill, then beat the poo poo out of Josh Alexander (in front of Josh's family) like everyone expected him to and like he said he couldn't believe anyone would trust him not to do, then threatened to piledrive Josh's wife on the outside until Josh gave him possession of the belt in the meantime

Taurus :negative:

J-Ro
Jul 26, 2005

Child Of The Revolution

It's really hard to feel bad for Josh after EVERYONE warned him. Repeatedly. Tbh Bully being back to his old self turns the story into absolute yawn and snooze to me.


:negative:

Edward Mass
Sep 14, 2011

𝅘𝅥𝅮 I wanna go home with the armadillo
Good country music from Amarillo and Abilene
Friendliest people and the prettiest women you've ever seen
𝅘𝅥𝅮
I just found out that the match-up of Josh Alexander and "Speedball" Mike Bailey got taped last weekend, and I'm going to make a GDT for that episode because it sounds like a 4¾ star match on free TV.

forkboy84
Jun 13, 2012

Corgis love bread. And Puro


Edward Mass posted:

I just found out that the match-up of Josh Alexander and "Speedball" Mike Bailey got taped last weekend, and I'm going to make a GDT for that episode because it sounds like a 4¾ star match on free TV.

Sure hope Bully Ray doesn't interfere...

Edward Mass
Sep 14, 2011

𝅘𝅥𝅮 I wanna go home with the armadillo
Good country music from Amarillo and Abilene
Friendliest people and the prettiest women you've ever seen
𝅘𝅥𝅮

forkboy84 posted:

Sure hope Bully Ray doesn't interfere...

:toxx: If Bully Ray interferes in this particular match, I will change my avatar to Bully Ray's calves :toxx:

Ziggy Tzardust
Apr 7, 2006


Happy Thanksgiving

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Edward Mass
Sep 14, 2011

𝅘𝅥𝅮 I wanna go home with the armadillo
Good country music from Amarillo and Abilene
Friendliest people and the prettiest women you've ever seen
𝅘𝅥𝅮
Jai Vidal has signed with Impact, becoming the first openly gay male wrestler in the promotion's history.

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