ITT we just flat-out don't understand Halloween

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Prof. Crocodile

This younger generation is the worst. I've had at least ten children come to my door today and ask me for candy, and when I say 'no' they get all huffy, as if they're entitled to the bag of tiny candy bars I keep by my door for religious reasons. And don't get me started on their fashion sense.

# ? Oct 12, 2022 00:16

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# ? May 12, 2024 14:15

Heather Papps: hello friend

weird that the hoa gives me a break complaining about the pet cemetery in the front yard every october. there must be a reason.

thanks Dumb Sex-Parrot and deep dish peat moss for this winter bounty!

# ? Oct 12, 2022 00:18

Buttchocks: No, I like my hat, thanks.

Why is there so much candy for sale at the pharmacy. Isn't that where people go for healthy things?

# ? Oct 12, 2022 01:01

Robot Made of Meat

Buttchocks posted:

Why is there so much candy for sale at the pharmacy. Isn't that where people go for healthy things?

I bought a few bags of pharmacy candy, and a few cartons of pharmacy cigarettes. For some reason, the parents are upset about ONE of these.

Thanks to Manifisto for the sig!

# ? Oct 12, 2022 01:11

Heather Papps: hello friend

"yes this is 911 what's your emergency"
"HELP a gang of demons stormed my homestead and i've shot them, but in some sort of demon trick they've turned into children wearing masks. i was going to finish em all off but a "mom" begged me to call authorities and i respect the police (blue lives matter) so i agreed"

thanks Dumb Sex-Parrot and deep dish peat moss for this winter bounty!

# ? Oct 12, 2022 01:21

Buttchocks: No, I like my hat, thanks.

I donated a bunch of nutritious squash to the orphanage, but get this, they only ate the seeds and then left the rest to rot on the sidewalk. drat millennials.

# ? Oct 12, 2022 01:42

PostsYouCanDanceTo

A kid just came to my door wearing a bandanna and painted green saying he was a ninja AND a turtle?

Anime is destroying this country!

# ? Oct 12, 2022 03:48

The Hello Machine: I'm not a real machine, but I am a real Hello-sayer.

I've been noticing gourds giving me the most hideous looks when I walk about town. I have a feeling they know something about me

# ? Oct 12, 2022 04:32

w4ddl3d33: BIKE HARDER, YOUNG BLOOD

hey quick question what the gently caress is up with all these dudes dressed as vampires tonight

# ? Oct 12, 2022 04:41

Stoner Sloth

hi, im australian and what is this?

# ? Oct 12, 2022 05:13

Buttchocks: No, I like my hat, thanks.

I get that people watch it ironically as an annual joke, but what does Die Hard have to do with Hallows Eve?

# ? Oct 12, 2022 05:18

Prof. Crocodile

Back in my day we had nice music that everyone could enjoy, like Limp Bizkit and Puddle of Mudd and Korn. Kids these days are all about this 'Monster Mash', and I'm sorry but it just sounds like noise and filth to me.

# ? Oct 12, 2022 13:19

google THIS

For the last time, people: When the leaves change colors it does NOT mean the tree is pooping. Your hearts are in the right place but maybe next time donate your toilet paper to a homeless shelter or something

# ? Oct 12, 2022 14:40

Shifty Nipples

theres fake spiderwebs all over the place wtf please advise

Thanks Plant MONSTER. and deep dish peat moss and deep dish peat moss and deep dish peat moss

# ? Oct 12, 2022 16:50

Manifisto

I love this season, when people give out free toilet paper, helpfully hanging it from tree branches and whatnot. but for some reason the local kids seem really mad at me? they should thank me, I'm always ready with my extinguisher to make sure those flaming bags (lanterns perhaps?) they put on people's doorsteps don't start a big fire.

ty nesamdoom!

# ? Oct 12, 2022 18:05

google THIS

Ok first of all this isn't Easter, second plastic eggs work much better than real ones for an egg hunt, and third they're going to be really easy to find splattered all over my car like that

# ? Oct 12, 2022 18:13

Buttchocks: No, I like my hat, thanks.

Halloween must be a huge binge-drinking event, because there's a bunch of temporary liquor stores all of a sudden, and they're all completely out of booze already.

# ? Oct 12, 2022 20:25

Twenty Four

google THIS posted:

For the last time, people: When the leaves change colors it does NOT mean the tree is pooping. Your hearts are in the right place but maybe next time donate your toilet paper to a homeless shelter or something

lol

# ? Oct 13, 2022 01:16

Drink-Mix Man: You are an odd fellow, but I must say... you throw a swell shindig.

Nurse uniforms are really, uh, provocative these days. Well, I guess that's one thing the American health care system has going for it.

# ? Oct 13, 2022 01:50

Heather Papps: hello friend

Drink-Mix Man posted:

Nurse uniforms are really, uh, provocative these days. Well, I guess that's one thing the American health care system has going for it.

thanks Dumb Sex-Parrot and deep dish peat moss for this winter bounty!

# ? Oct 13, 2022 03:08

Prof. Crocodile

google THIS posted:

For the last time, people: When the leaves change colors it does NOT mean the tree is pooping. Your hearts are in the right place but maybe next time donate your toilet paper to a homeless shelter or something

Prof. Crocodile fucked around with this message at 13:07 on Oct 13, 2022

# ? Oct 13, 2022 13:04

Prof. Crocodile

Drink-Mix Man posted:

Nurse uniforms are really, uh, provocative these days. Well, I guess that's one thing the American health care system has going for it.

# ? Oct 13, 2022 13:07

Prof. Crocodile

I swear, 25% of this grocery store is candy--and people are buying it up so fast the shelves are half empty! No wonder this country has an obesity crisis.

# ? Oct 13, 2022 13:09

Buttchocks: No, I like my hat, thanks.

It must be really hallowed if people celebrate a single evening for the whole month.

# ? Oct 13, 2022 13:24

Sherbert Hoover: Working hard, thank you!

baby! baby! baby! you're never going to believe it. i just met the president and dracula

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# ? Oct 13, 2022 15:37

Drink-Mix Man: You are an odd fellow, but I must say... you throw a swell shindig.

Holy poo poo, it's a blood-covered knife-wielding masked killer just like in the movies! Alright, time to become an American hero. *Loads gun*

# ? Oct 13, 2022 15:46

nut

*whispers to anthony* stan in accounting isn't actually a racecar driver, don't be fooled. I won't be. Not again.

# ? Oct 13, 2022 15:48

Heather Papps: hello friend

a man notices it getting closer to the end of october, starts making plans to "go hunting"

he's been married 50 years. he's long ago come to terms with the fact that he married a monster. most of the year she's normal, but he figures she needs about a week to recharge, and he see's her true face. a few days a year of living with a frankensteins bride is fine, hell, even better if he can drink and read mystery novels in the woods and skip the whole thing. not like the cookin' gets worse.

thanks Dumb Sex-Parrot and deep dish peat moss for this winter bounty!

# ? Oct 14, 2022 17:10

Nosfereefer: IF YOU FIND THIS POSTER OUTSIDE BYOB, PLEASE RETURN THEM. WE ARE VERY WORRIED AND WE MISS THEM

curse the gods, the wild hunt is here again!

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

# ? Oct 14, 2022 22:59

Areola Grande: it's a free country u pervs

Nosfereefer posted:

curse the gods, the wild hunt is here again!

# ? Oct 15, 2022 02:06

vanisher

I know pumpkins are in season because they have them in every grocery store, but have you ever tried eating one? It�s disgusting

_{Sig images courtesy of the talented Luvcow, Dumb Sex-Parrot, & Death Sext}

# ? Oct 20, 2022 16:11

idiotsavant

Wait, so you spend all that money on the pumpkin, and cut the hole in it and everything, and then you don't gently caress it???

# ? Oct 20, 2022 17:06

Sherbert Hoover: Working hard, thank you!

whoa whoa whoa haha

who said anything about not loving the pumpkin

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# ? Oct 20, 2022 17:27

vanisher

me, rolling the biggest pumpkin I can find to the checkout for Pumpkin loving Day, smirking because I know all the ladies that see me will know I�m super hung

_{Sig images courtesy of the talented Luvcow, Dumb Sex-Parrot, & Death Sext}

# ? Oct 20, 2022 21:09

vanisher

I burst out laughing as a man�s wife playfully picks up and shows a miniature pumpkin to her spouse

_{Sig images courtesy of the talented Luvcow, Dumb Sex-Parrot, & Death Sext}

# ? Oct 20, 2022 21:11

Sherbert Hoover: Working hard, thank you!

I heard there's a restaurant in japan where you can grow a pumpkin from a seed and then gently caress it

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# ? Oct 20, 2022 21:13

Buttchocks: No, I like my hat, thanks.

So we give candy to children because giving them pumpkins would be illegal.

# ? Oct 20, 2022 23:02

Sherbert Hoover: Working hard, thank you!

guy trying to fit in around the watercooler: so I broke my tooth again on a candied corn

^{this sig is protected by Simsmagic!}

# ? Oct 20, 2022 23:35

Heather Papps: hello friend

vanisher posted:

me, rolling the biggest pumpkin I can find to the checkout for Pumpkin loving Day, smirking because I know all the ladies that see me will know I�m super hung

vanisher posted:

I burst out laughing as a man�s wife playfully picks up and shows a miniature pumpkin to her spouse

thanks Dumb Sex-Parrot and deep dish peat moss for this winter bounty!

# ? Oct 20, 2022 23:46

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# ? May 12, 2024 14:15

google THIS

Sherbert Hoover posted:

guy trying to fit in around the watercooler: so I broke my tooth again on a candied corn

(eating actual candy corn) You know, this stuff isn't half bad

# ? Oct 21, 2022 02:36

The Something Awful Forums > Main > BYOB: BYOB BYOB BOYB BBOY YOBB YBOB BBYO?? > ITT we just flat-out don't understand Halloween

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