Hollywood & Chinese Takeout

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William Henry Hairytaint: Oct 29, 2011

let's talk about other stupid things in movies that we hate!

my top 2 besides the chopsticks thing are:

1. not saying goodbye before hanging up the phone
2. gently covering someone who's sleeping with a blanket

# ? Nov 9, 2022 04:10

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# ? May 5, 2024 21:12

Literally A Person: Jan 1, 1970; Smugworth Wuz Here

ClamdestineBoyster posted:

Hey man you ever like, try to eat a taco with chopsticks? Non. Euclidean. Geometries.

No but I like to eat taquitos with chopsticks so I don't get my hands all greasy

# ? Nov 9, 2022 04:10

kntfkr: Feb 11, 2019; GOOSE FUCKER

the videogame sound effects and the way people use controllers is up there

# ? Nov 9, 2022 04:11

William Henry Hairytaint: Oct 29, 2011

Another big one for me is anything having to do with image enhancement

just gonna turn this black and white 320x200 image into a 4k with the press of a couple of buttons. Ah gently caress, we still can't see the perp. Wait...if we...if we reverse the image, we can see what was BEHIND the camera!

Also a Law and Order specific one is people continuing to do their jobs while they're being questioned by detectives. Yeah just gonna run these four container cranes while answering questions about a quadruple homicide, no worries.

# ? Nov 9, 2022 04:16

kntfkr: Feb 11, 2019; GOOSE FUCKER

the way people always start making out before doing sex moves with most of their clothes on

# ? Nov 9, 2022 04:35

BAGS FLY AT NOON: Apr 6, 2011; A Soft Nylon Bag

Literally A Person posted:

Also any commercial in which people are happier or more successful than me.

*throws every tv in the loving TRASH*

# ? Nov 9, 2022 04:46

BAGS FLY AT NOON: Apr 6, 2011; A Soft Nylon Bag

kntfkr posted:

the videogame sound effects and the way people use controllers is up there

*slaps away on Xbox controller while screen shows Super Mario World*

# ? Nov 9, 2022 04:48

Das Boo: Jun 9, 2011; There was a GHOST here.
It's gone now.

Getting up and leaving when you barely touched your loving MEAL.

# ? Nov 9, 2022 05:32

Dang It Bhabhi!: May 27, 2004; ASK ME ABOUT
BEING
ESCULA GRIND'S
#1 SIMP

Milo and POTUS posted:

thats not his loving name lmao are you for real

god drat right

# ? Nov 9, 2022 05:37

2nd Amendment: Jun 9, 2022; by Pragmatica

I do #2 to my husband and daughter regularly. They fall asleep and I love them and want them to be comfortable so I wrap their sleeping bodies in a blanket. It's one of the many ways I express love.

# ? Nov 9, 2022 06:43

kntfkr: Feb 11, 2019; GOOSE FUCKER

2nd Amendment posted:

I do #2 to my husband and daughter regularly.

# ? Nov 9, 2022 06:45

Zeluth: May 12, 2001; by Fluffdaddy

Notable!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VRkZYdWCe7w&t=84s

# ? Nov 9, 2022 06:54

Ralph Hurley: Aug 3, 2009

When you�re dying of thirst in the desert and you only have a few drops of water left so you hold your canteen in your trembling hands six to eight inches away from your mouth and let most of it dribble down your face while squinting at the sun.

# ? Nov 9, 2022 07:40

2nd Amendment: Jun 9, 2022; by Pragmatica

I can't speak to actual thirst but I've been a few days without food and it is a loving mess. I've also been in a state of need with substance and holy poo poo. It's either really loving precise or just a mess.

Alcohol shakes for water in the desert is a useful shorthand. We've all been without or known someone without in a way that TV watchers aren't dying of thirst.

# ? Nov 9, 2022 07:59

teen phone cutie: Jun 18, 2012; last year i rewrote something awful from scratch because i hate myself

zach braff said in his scrubs podcast he would *specifically* tell the set directors to give him an empty plate of food so it looked like he was finished eating so he didn't have to deal with fake eating

# ? Nov 9, 2022 08:13

My Lovely Horse: Aug 21, 2010

I remember Hannibal and its super fancy plates of human liver or whatever, where people would go through all the motions of eating except no one actually ever put anything in their mouth. Which has obvious and good reasons in production but it seemed to be filmed and edited specifically to highlight rather than conceal that fact.

# ? Nov 9, 2022 10:08

BAGS FLY AT NOON: Apr 6, 2011; A Soft Nylon Bag

Harvey Keitel and his fake rear end smoking bullshit can�t even light up

# ? Nov 9, 2022 13:49

Literally A Person: Jan 1, 1970; Smugworth Wuz Here

Me looking at television in disbelief: "All these people look, like, really really good"

# ? Nov 9, 2022 15:33

ClamdestineBoyster: Aug 15, 2015; Can't post for 10 years!

kntfkr posted:

the way people always start making out before doing sex moves with most of their clothes on

I hate how long it takes people to get their clothes off in porn. Everything should be tearaway track suits. Chicks act like a belt is a complicated puzzle but it�s like, loving finger-hook your tshirt off, pop that belt and wiggle out of your pants while you do that, leave your socks on or gently caress with them later, 7 seconds flat. :mario:

# ? Nov 9, 2022 16:49

Icochet: Mar 18, 2008; I have a very small TV. Don't make fun of it! Please don't shame it like that~; Grimey Drawer

My fetish is the getting dressed afterwards bit

# ? Nov 9, 2022 16:56

Earwicker: Jan 6, 2003

William Henry Hairytaint posted:

let's talk about other stupid things in movies that we hate!

my top 2 besides the chopsticks thing are:

1. not saying goodbye before hanging up the phone

also almost never saying hello. like half the time someone answers a phone in a movie the first thing they say is some poo poo like "yeah?" or "talk to me"

and then sometimes saying too much when they want the audience to know who they are calling. "hello, police department?"

# ? Nov 9, 2022 17:01

Yvershek: Nov 15, 2000; and there are no
diamonds in the
mine

Icochet posted:

My fetish is the getting dressed afterwards bit

Mine is how I'm crying during that part.

# ? Nov 9, 2022 17:22

kntfkr: Feb 11, 2019; GOOSE FUCKER

ClamdestineBoyster posted:

I hate how long it takes people to get their clothes off in porn. Everything should be tearaway track suits. Chicks act like a belt is a complicated puzzle but it�s like, loving finger-hook your tshirt off, pop that belt and wiggle out of your pants while you do that, leave your socks on or gently caress with them later, 7 seconds flat.

i hate when they cut during transitional moments in porn and just quick cut to a sex act. the clumsy logistics are the best part imho

# ? Nov 9, 2022 17:59

Dang It Bhabhi!: May 27, 2004; ASK ME ABOUT
BEING
ESCULA GRIND'S
#1 SIMP

My fetish is posting.

# ? Nov 9, 2022 18:08

numberoneposter: Feb 19, 2014; How much do I cum? The answer might surprise you!

Icochet posted:

I have seen people eat pizza in films

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CjDz6t9OGEQ

# ? Nov 9, 2022 18:30

el dingo: Mar 19, 2009; Ogres are like onions

William Henry Hairytaint posted:

1. not saying goodbye before hanging up the phone

Call gets cut off/other person hangs up: 'hello? hello are you there?' motherfucker you can hear the tone of a hung up call stop trying to talk dipshit

# ? Nov 9, 2022 18:41

Genesplicer: Oct 19, 2002; I give your invention the worst grade imaginable: An A-minus-minus!; Total Clam

1. In Hollywood shoots, Craft Services invariably provides only Chinese food at the Craft Service table. Even for breakfast. This is part of the Craft Service Contract.

2. This Chinese food, regardless of origin, is always served in takeout boxes. (Craft Services seems to think this is a traditional requirement for Chinese food)

3. The only utensils offered are either chopsticks or enormous salad spoons.

4. Directors inevitably forget that they need to provide food for the eating scenes, so they raid the Craft Service table.

5. If you look at scenes that take place in fancy restaurants, you will see they merely put the Chinese food on fancy plates, even if the restaurant is supposed to be a fancy French restaurant or something else. (Surprisingly, if it is a Chinese restaurant, they will serve either Turkey and Dressing or Porterhouse steak. This is the only time the director will not forget the food.)

# ? Nov 9, 2022 21:40

BigBadSteve: Apr 29, 2009

BIG FLUFFY DOG posted:

It seems like anytime in the movies or TV where someone is having takeout its always

1. Chinese food (almost always lo mein)
2. They eat straight from the carton
3. They always use chopsticks no matter what the background of the character

Yes it makes sense that a well-educated worldly person would know how to use chopsticks but I think they would take the lo mein out and put it on a plate. A blue collar person it would make sense for them to be a slob and eat from the carton but I think they would use plastic forks to eat their food. And why does nobody ever seem to get tacos, or burgers or indian food or pizza any other kind of takeout? I love chinese takeout too but I don't have it for every other meal and I definitely have pizza and fast food more often than Chinese food. But anytime anyone has a casual work meeting or they're talking on the phone or eating while watching TV it's always lo mein straight from the carton with chopsticks.

Accurate observations OP, but how can you tell what type if noodles ("lo mein") characters are eating? Do you watch your 8K TV from a foot away?

In The Big Bang Theory, a long time beloved favorite of goons, they do get different cuisines delivered. Not sure if the Chinese is lo mein or hi mein or what though.

I love older movies and series where there's ridiculously stereotyped speech, like, "Here your Chinee foo. Velly fast to you, you give big tip, me rikee!

Edit: rikey

BigBadSteve fucked around with this message at 21:22 on Nov 10, 2022

# ? Nov 9, 2022 22:28

Milo and POTUS: Sep 3, 2017; I will not shut up about the Mighty Morphin Power Rangers. I talk about them all the time and work them into every conversation I have. I built a shrine in my room for the yellow one who died because sadly no one noticed because she died around 9/11. Wanna see it?